new and frustrated!

coesch

Hi,
Just started yesterday and hoping this will work. I have had no sucess this time around (last 3 months) at losing weight.
I have yo yoed with my weight loss for the past 10 years, I get to where I want to be and gain it all back and then some. I got on the scale yesterday only to discover I am at my 9 month pregnancy weight. I haven't been pregnant for 12 years!!!
I'm worried now that I'm older (than the last time I lost weight) that the weight is not going to come off as easy as it did 5 years ago.
I know 36 isn't OLD, but why it is so hard this time compared to last time? Ideally I would love to lose about 95 pounds, but will be very happy with 65 to start off. I know, baby steps, little goals, but I only see the 95 lbs and it's is frustrating which makes me think why bother? My husband and children love me for who I am, why agonize (sp?) about it? But I need to love me and right now with the way I look I can't.
I guess I am looking for motivation and support on a daily basis!
Please help!

wflorid

Just eat less, consistently, and walk a lot. You can do that! This food and exercise diary is a great tool to help.

smurfette75

This is a great place to be for support and motivation! If you are honest with yourself and committed it will work. Take it day by day and set mini goals to get you to the 95 lbs you want.

beckyinma

This is the right place to be! You need to be committed to changing your eating and exercise habits FOR LIFE, not just for the life of the 'diet' then go back to your old ways when you reach your goal. It is a life long change. It doesn't happen overnight, and you need to ease into it, and learn from your past mistakes.

5 guidelines:

1. Avoid sodium as much as possible, including eating out, high salt items like processed foods and chips (avoid yes, but no need to remove all together, a little indulgence every once in a while is ok, it is life after all.)
2. The 8 cups of water a day rule is baseline for survival without being dehydrated. I am amazed at how many people come on here and have a hard time getting their water. If you are properly hydrated, your body has no reason to store (retain) extra water, which adds a lot of extra weight, sometimes as much as 5-8lb after a salty meal. If you do have a salty meal, counter it with 4 cups of water extra, at least.
3. avoid the inside isles of the grocery store. That's where most of the processed high sugar, high fat and high sodium foods are. Moderate the amount of these foods that you eat. Try to stay with fresh meats, dairy and veggies. It's way better for you and you'll FEEL so much better.
4. MOVE your body at least 30 minutes 5-6 days a week. Doesn't have to mean joining a gym, simply walking around the neighborhood, or using the high school's track, or climbing the stairs. It doesn't have to be expensive.
5. ASK QUESTIONS when you feel in doubt. And never be ashamed of venting here. WE all have the same common goal, to lose weight, maintain it, and be healthier in mind, body and spirit.

auntiebabs

Just remember you only have 1 pound to lose... the next one.

You are right about baby-steps at my high weight i was all "1 lbs not even a drop in the bucket" but it is it really is. Celebrate each accomplishment. (I set my activity to sedentary and tracked every little activity, because it helped me see my progress.)

If you do 1/2 lb a week, it's not that drastic a change and it's very liveable. Sure it will take a while, but this is about being healthy for the rest of your life. What good is losing it if you can't maintain it?

It's a journey... enjoy the trip.

lgwmab

You can do this! MFP is a great place to get the help and support you need, as well as motivation. You have the right idea of mini gaols, I set those for myself, like when I loose 10 pounds, I get a new shirt, or new pair of shoes, a little motivation, but enough to keep wanting more. My exerrcise of choice is walking. I hope one day to be jogging, and maybe even running, but for now walkinfg is it.

iwannashrink

I am new as well, (hi everyone!) I'm 50 years old and have never been fit, (in my life) and have never been successful at losing weight by dieting. I am fortunate in some ways - I weighed 210 pounds at my heaviest and should have weighed twice that, given my unhealthy, unmoving and hedonistic lifestyle. 3 years ago I lost 20 lbs by simply getting on a treadmill for 3 times per week for 30 minutes - but I stopped going, gained it all back and it's like it never happened.

I joined a gym on July 1st. I am not hating it as much as I thought I would. I have to go every day. If I don't, my fear is that I'll never go back. I've lost' 5 lbs so far. I need to lose 65 more. I want to be a size 12. A healthy size 12. I want ENERGY and have decided that if I dont lose the weight, I'll still win if I have more energy. So, I'm getting through, one day at a time. I am at the start and I know I'll have set backs.

I am dreading two min-vacations we are taking soon - both long weekends - both with family. Away from the gym. Lots of junk food and booze available. I so afraid I'm going to un-do the good I've done.

I know how you feel. It's hard. Harder for some than others. I get insanely jealous of those who are only 10-15 pounds overweight who obsess about it - because I'd trade places with them in a heartbeat and be so happy!

auntiebabs

Here's how I started:

1) tracking for a couple of weeks before I worried about losing.
(although seeing what I was eating I couldn't help but rein back a bit)

2) seeing where I could make small changes on things that weren't that important to me.
(Don't even think of taking chocolate out of my diet!!!)
--Reducing quantities where I won't notice it so much
--Swapping out things instead of eliminating them.

3) Look at my diary and started adding foods that had positive healthy effects specifically for the health issue in my family.
I found most of the things I "should" add were really yummy too! salmon, avocado, oatmeal, mango, red grapes....
(Sort of think of food as medicine to deal with family history of various health issue oatmeal is good for heart health, mango and red grapes lower cholesterol, tumeric and cinnamon good for arthritis)

4) every couple of weeks I see where I can make another couple of small changes.
If you completely revamp your diet, it's way easy to revert to old ways in times of stress.
If you make a series of small changes, food still offers you some sense of comfort.
sort of a comfort continuum, and after a while the first small changes will seem comforting in themselves.
You don't have to be perfect you just have to do better.

5) also rather than being uberstrict with the target MFP set for me I did the math to find out the calories needed to maintain my goal weight and my current weight and I gave myself a range with 1200 as my rock bottom, lose 1 lb/wk as my target*** and maintain my goal weight as the top of my range. As long as I keep within in this range I'll lose. I tend to naturally zig zag my calories 3-4 at very close to my target and then a higher calorie day closer to the top of my range.

As long as I stayed under maintain my current weight calories I won't gain. So no need to throw in the towel, just pick-up where I left off.

Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as acheivable. I only worry about it 1 lb at a time.)

I did have to take a break for a month due to a health scare, but otherwise I kept with the slow and steady approach. Took me 9 months (including the month off) At first I lost at the rate of about 3 lbs per month, but the closer you get to the goal the slower it goes. So be patient and hang in there.

***also once my lose 1 lb/week target was down to 1200 calories I switch to lose 1/2 lb/ week (1200 cal rock bottom, 1/2 lb/week as my target, maintain goal weight as the high end of my range.)

Food is not the enemy.
Oddly enough on my journey here I've reduced guilt over food.
I have the occassional treat and I fully enjoy it with no guilt involved.
The thing is since I'm not eating crap all the time the occassional treat is just that a TREAT it's special and I enjoy it so much more than when I was unconsciously shovel junk food into my face.

I figure if I've got a good plan that I can actually maintain I can keep this off for a long time to come, without feeling deprived.

Good Luck

reagan612002

I'm 38 and sometimes it seems REALLY old. 95 is not a bad number to look at if thats what you want. I agree with baby steps but you have to have that long term goal to keep you focused and not become disappointed at a small slip. Plan on the safe loss at 1-2 pounds per week by eating right and exercising and look at it as an average loss. The average loss allows you to lose weight and not stress over a .5 loss or even a .5 gain in a single week. start off with measuring too. You will hit a point where the muscle builds and your loss is hidden by muscle. Good luck and dont worry, the 30's are the new 20's, or 50's I cant remember which.

grmpy1

We all have to start somewhere. This is a new beginning for you. Forget the past and plan for the future. Age is definitely a factor and if you start now you won't be in the same boat I am 20 years from now. I am 56 and finally getting it right!

But if this helps you..I have lost almost 35 lbs in a year and it may be slow coming off but at least I know I am doing it right this time. Baby steps is the right frame of mind. Don't try to lose too fast and don't get discouraged if you have periods of time that you don't lose. Just don't let yourself get into the rut of, well I haven't lost anything, this isn't working, what the heck. That is when you start to gain it back. Your body will tell you when you need a change..that is when it usually goes into a stand still.

We both have a long way to go and positive thoughts is what is going to get us there. Think Positive and use MFP! It works wonders for motivation. There are a lot of people on here with the same situations. Gather great positive friends and use them to help you get through your new journey!!

Happy0326

I BELIEVE you can do it!!! Yes, it's gonna be HARDER this time around & NO it's NOT going to be easy. I am way past the weight I was when I gave birth. 2 mos. ago I was at my HIGHEST weight ever. I'm 4' 11" & weighed 219 lbs. When I went to the Dr. after being SHOCKED & DEPRESSED I figured the ONLY person to take control of this & take it off is ME. I started my weight loss journey & NO it hasn't been easy, it has been a battle for me as well. But ONE thing I know is MFP has been GREAT for me. As long as I keep logging in I may even miss a day or two but come back. I keep track of what I'm eating. There is soooo much motivation & encouragement on here it's AMAZING. I read others stories & get inspired. Because I feel that it is possible. I have lost 11 lbs. not much but I'm not going to stop even though I feel like I can't do it some days. YOU CAN DO IT!!! your allowed to make a U~turn if neccessary. You don't have to make drastic changes just changes....like smaller portions. Don't beat yourself up if you feel you ate something that isn't good for you. Just keep starting over & over if you have to.

AquaFan

I'm new too and could have almost written your post. I am at the same weight I was the day before I delivered my youngest child. 9 YRS AGO. I can so relate to that. Also, I have lost weight in the past only to put it back on. To me, maintaining is the hardest part. I hope to be more successful this time. I just turned 40 so I understand that it is a struggle the older you get. Just don't let that get in your way. You can do this! Feel free to add me as a friend for support.

tricia25bev

I too have struggled with my goal of losing weight and recently started this program as well. The best thing is to get everyone on board with your challenge to lose weight. If the family is having burgers possibly try having a veggie burger (just an example)! Also, i found pictures of myself at the weight I prefer to be and printed it out and pasted it at my mirror and at the workspace to keep me motivated! Post its are my friend since i have them everywhere to remind me to eat something little every 3 hours, to exercise after or before work and in my purse to stay on the healthy track. (the one in the purse helps me while I am out and want something quick or while I am out to eat) Motivation is easily distracted by a lot, you just have to stop YOURSELF from making excuses ( my trainer speaking)!! No matter what you must watch what you eat and you must workout. The eating part can be easy as long as you don't drive yourself crazy counting every little calorie, cheat once a week and that can be something to look forward to!! Personally i look forward to Sundays, having a Magnum ice cream bar, it's my little reward for doing well during the week! Now working out can be the harder of the two; on the fact that life can get in the way. DONT LET IT! Set time a side to workout for 30 or 60 mins. Going to the gym can sometimes be to time consuming, so try going to a part of the house where you can do a little work out. When I find myself stretched for time I go to the basement and do the Jillian Michaels quick workout that should only take ten minutes but works every part of the body and then I add an ab routine. I hope this helps a little and of course I am not an expert but this has been helping me out! Good Luck!!

qofsheba

I just started too and have 60 lbs to lose. Even writing it is terrifying. Hadn't been on the scales in two years. Some of the best advice I ever got when I was eating healthy is: every day you don't gain is your first victory. Every day you feel better is another one. It takes us years to gain all the weight and than I want to lose it on a ridiculous schedule that I set. So I'm trying to do this one day at a time, adding some more exercise than I am doing, drinking the water and trying to take a year-long view. Even if I only lost 20 lbs in a year, it would be 20 I wasn't carrying around!

jbdowns35

Read some of the success stories for inspiration, they help me. I'm 35 & yeah, Ive noticed it's harder to loose just a few pounds than it was just 2 years ago. Sucks, but that's life. My sister-inlaw is 46 & it's REALLY hard for her. Much easier to gain it as we get older tho! I wish you success now, while you're still young. It's easier to keep the weight off than it is to loose it. I know what you're going through, I want to get hold of my health while I'm still pretty young, I don't want to struggle as I get older. But you've come to the right place. The food tracker is key! Good luck on your journey & feel free to add me as a friend.

coesch

Wow... thanks so much everyone! It really helps starting this journey will all the support, it's so nice to see... only hours after my post! :flowerforyou:

qofsheba

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