Childless and TTC

MrsBlackman
MrsBlackman Posts: 41
edited October 1 in Health and Weight Loss
I was looking for a post about childless women TTC. Most of the posts are either women who already have children or women who have PCOS. I would like to talk to people like me... I have no children, DH and I miscarried our first baby (March '08) and we have now been TTC for over 3 years. The reason I don't want to talk to women TTC that already have children is they cannot fully understand how I feel because at least they have 1 or more children and the reason I don't want to talk to women with PCOS is because they have an explanation as to why they cannot conceive - I don't. If you are in the same boat as me, feel free to add me or reply on here.
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Replies

  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    Can you explain what TTC is? I tried google but it comes up with Truck and Trailer Components, Toronto Transit Comission, and Tendring Techology College, and i cant see anything that might be what you're referring to....
  • LOL! Trying to conceive...
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    DH and I tried for a couple of years...gave up. It was too heartbreaking, to be honest. There's no specific medical explanation. I think I'm in the "acceptance" stage, more or less - some days more, some days less. I have two great stepsons and we have a really cool dog, and I love our life together, so -

    Dunno if I'm exactly in the same boat.
  • ladygloria
    ladygloria Posts: 279 Member
    Can you explain what TTC is? I tried google but it comes up with Truck and Trailer Components, Toronto Transit Comission, and Tendring Techology College, and i cant see anything that might be what you're referring to....

    Trying to conceive.

    To the op, I hope you find someone. I'd talk, but thanks to infertility treatments and the PCOS I have one child now. I am going for the second one and struggling. If you don't find the type of person you're looking for, I will be glad to support you. It took over 5 years the first time and while I may not know your circumstances, we have similar struggles. Good luck!
  • watergirl626
    watergirl626 Posts: 249 Member
    Sent you a PM.
  • inktink
    inktink Posts: 135 Member
    Me and my husband were TTC for about a year and a half. I had lost a pregnancy when I was 17, so when we lost 2 in a matter of 6 months we decided to wait a little while to try again.

    Now I'm not sure at all when I will be ready, or if I will be. With the last baby we saw the heartbeat, I still keep the ultrasounds by my bed. I just can't imagine going through it again.

    I'm not completely in the same boat as you though, I have two step sons. I treat them like they are my own and I do love them with all that I have, but I still feel like they're not mine.. like there is still a hole in my life that I'm not sure if I will ever have the courage to try to fill again.
  • DH and I tried for a couple of years...gave up. It was too heartbreaking, to be honest. There's no specific medical explanation. I think I'm in the "acceptance" stage, more or less - some days more, some days less. I have two great stepsons and we have a really cool dog, and I love our life together, so -

    Dunno if I'm exactly in the same boat.

    I don't think I could ever get to the acceptance stage - I cannot imagine my life without having babies (plural - LOL). What dog do you have? We have a labrador and a parsons terrier (they are our substitute children) :D
  • Can you explain what TTC is? I tried google but it comes up with Truck and Trailer Components, Toronto Transit Comission, and Tendring Techology College, and i cant see anything that might be what you're referring to....

    Trying to conceive.

    To the op, I hope you find someone. I'd talk, but thanks to infertility treatments and the PCOS I have one child now. I am going for the second one and struggling. If you don't find the type of person you're looking for, I will be glad to support you. It took over 5 years the first time and while I may not know your circumstances, we have similar struggles. Good luck!

    Thanks for the positive message - am glad fertility treatments worked for you and I hope you conceive again soon!
  • brittbergh
    brittbergh Posts: 130 Member
    We struggled for years before we moved onto medical help, than surgery for me and a second trimester loss.

    there is this site TCOYF.com ... check it out, lots of support
  • Me and my husband were TTC for about a year and a half. I had lost a pregnancy when I was 17, so when we lost 2 in a matter of 6 months we decided to wait a little while to try again.

    Now I'm not sure at all when I will be ready, or if I will be. With the last baby we saw the heartbeat, I still keep the ultrasounds by my bed. I just can't imagine going through it again.

    I'm not completely in the same boat as you though, I have two step sons. I treat them like they are my own and I do love them with all that I have, but I still feel like they're not mine.. like there is still a hole in my life that I'm not sure if I will ever have the courage to try to fill again.

    I am so sorry about the 2 babies you miscarried. I hope you get to the point where you feel ready to try again because you clearly want children and we should never give up on our dreams!
  • We struggled for years before we moved onto medical help, than surgery for me and a second trimester loss.

    there is this site TCOYF.com ... check it out, lots of support

    Thanks...I'll have a look!
  • _Khaleesi_
    _Khaleesi_ Posts: 877 Member
    ... what is DH?

    I am not TTC, but I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. Thoughts are with you guys
  • ... what is DH?

    I am not TTC, but I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. Thoughts are with you guys

    DH - dear husband. Thank you!
  • MaxandHenrysMom
    MaxandHenrysMom Posts: 59 Member
    I've been where you are now. I went through three failed IVF treatments (and huge debt), until a FET finally worked. A wonderful website - discussion board (I lived on it for three years! -- It seemed these were the ONLY women who understood the sadness I felt) is www.ivfconnections.com - The forums are great and divided up into various issues, including unexplained, and various options from clomid to IVF to deciding to live childfree. There are also forums dedicated to age groups.

    Good luck to you.
  • I've been where you are now. I went through three failed IVF treatments (and huge debt), until a FET finally worked. A wonderful website - discussion board (I lived on it for three years! -- It seemed these were the ONLY women who understood the sadness I felt) is www.ivfconnections.com - The forums are great and divided up into various issues, including unexplained, and various options from clomid to IVF to deciding to live childfree. There are also forums dedicated to age groups.

    Good luck to you.

    I can't imagine how you must have felt after 3 failed cycles but am glad you finally got there in the end!! You are the second person to recommend that site so I have signed up and will have a good browse through tomorrow! Thank you!
  • watergirl626
    watergirl626 Posts: 249 Member
    For anyone going through IF, www.ivfconnections.com has a fantastic community on their forums. You don't have to be going through IVF to belong. It is incredible the support you receive. BTW, 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility, that's an awfully big number, and means that there are others out there who get it.

    BTW, for laughs with a touch of sarcasm, http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/ is a great read.

    Sorry for everyone out there struggling with IF and with losses. It just plain sucks.
  • pattyproulx
    pattyproulx Posts: 603 Member
    I was looking for a post about childless women TTC. Most of the posts are either women who already have children or women who have PCOS. I would like to talk to people like me... I have no children, DH and I miscarried our first baby (March '08) and we have now been TTC for over 3 years. The reason I don't want to talk to women TTC that already have children is they cannot fully understand how I feel because at least they have 1 or more children and the reason I don't want to talk to women with PCOS is because they have an explanation as to why they cannot conceive - I don't. If you are in the same boat as me, feel free to add me or reply on here.

    I'm obviously not a woman and take it for what it's worth since there are obviously no studies proving any of this, but being fairly active in the Paleo community, I've heard of many people having issues conceiving and being able to conceive shortly after going Paleo (usually within a few months)
  • ce_girl
    ce_girl Posts: 1
    We have been TTC for 4 years, 2 IUI, 1 IVF and out of money. We are currently saving money for adoption.
    The one thing that has saved me is my twitter support group. Follow me "barrenkarren" to find others. I haven't twitted in a little while, but look at my followers and ones I follow for others in the same boat. Try #TCC, #IVF, etc. I hope this helps.
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    DH and I tried for a couple of years...gave up. It was too heartbreaking, to be honest. There's no specific medical explanation. I think I'm in the "acceptance" stage, more or less - some days more, some days less. I have two great stepsons and we have a really cool dog, and I love our life together, so -

    Dunno if I'm exactly in the same boat.

    I don't think I could ever get to the acceptance stage - I cannot imagine my life without having babies (plural - LOL). What dog do you have? We have a labrador and a parsons terrier (they are our substitute children) :D

    I didn't think I could imagine my life without them either, but that's not the life I got, you know? :wink: And I have 4 nephews and a niece as well as the kids/grandkids of coworkers that I get to fawn over.

    We have a greyhound. His name is Earl. I've got a couple pics posted of him on my profile.
  • We have been TTC for 4 years, 2 IUI, 1 IVF and out of money. We are currently saving money for adoption.
    The one thing that has saved me is my twitter support group. Follow me "barrenkarren" to find others. I haven't twitted in a little while, but look at my followers and ones I follow for others in the same boat. Try #TCC, #IVF, etc. I hope this helps.

    I hope your adoption (when you start it) runs smoothly! I'm not on twitter but thank you anyway!
  • femmerides
    femmerides Posts: 843 Member
    i struggled for 3.5 years to get pregnant with absolutely no medical explanation. we finally got pregnant and there were several factors involved. the biggest factor i believe was losing weight. the second factor was going on vacation. my husband and i decided we were okay just being us. we didn't need a baby. we said that if we changed our minds, than we could adopt. i went to hawaii, let loose and when i got back we got pregnant.

    i have a friend that is going through something like you. she and her husband started TTC 6 months before they got married and they just celebrated their 1st anniversary so it's been a while for them too. the doctors told her that when you break it down, there are only 12 times a year you can get pregnant. so a lot of it is luck.

    i had another friend who struggled for quite some time and miscarried 4 or 5 times. they were taking fertility treatments too. good news though! they were finally able to get pregnant and she's in her 3rd trimester now. so there is hope!

    i really hope you can conceive soon. I know how painful it is not knowing if you will ever have a baby, especially when you want one so bad.
  • I was looking for a post about childless women TTC. Most of the posts are either women who already have children or women who have PCOS. I would like to talk to people like me... I have no children, DH and I miscarried our first baby (March '08) and we have now been TTC for over 3 years. The reason I don't want to talk to women TTC that already have children is they cannot fully understand how I feel because at least they have 1 or more children and the reason I don't want to talk to women with PCOS is because they have an explanation as to why they cannot conceive - I don't. If you are in the same boat as me, feel free to add me or reply on here.

    I'm obviously not a woman and take it for what it's worth since there are obviously no studies proving any of this, but being fairly active in the Paleo community, I've heard of many people having issues conceiving and being able to conceive shortly after going Paleo (usually within a few months)

    I have never heard of Paleo before but am intrigued...
  • JennsLosing
    JennsLosing Posts: 1,026
    i have children, all i can say is keep trying, and so sorry for your lost. i have a friend who is childless, miscarried 3 times, now after 5 yrs, she is 5 months pregnant. all of her losses were in early pregnancy, so its looking very good now. i may not know exactly how your feeling, because ive never been there, but i feel your pain, if that makes since = ) best of luck to you and your husband.
  • i have children, all i can say is keep trying, and so sorry for your lost. i have a friend who is childless, miscarried 3 times, now after 5 yrs, she is 5 months pregnant. all of her losses were in early pregnancy, so its looking very good now. i may not know exactly how your feeling, because ive never been there, but i feel your pain, if that makes since = ) best of luck to you and your husband.

    Thank you! One thing I do know is I will NEVER give up! LOL. I know one day it will happen, it's just the journey that is hard!
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Can you explain what TTC is?
    ... what is DH?

    I was in the same boat. Wanted to pass on these resources:

    http://www.acronymfinder.com/
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/

    I had to look up NSV, TOM, etc. Learning new phrases here on MFP!
  • ladygloria
    ladygloria Posts: 279 Member
    You're welcome and good luck.

    Btw, this might be helpful to you.

    http://www.marilynglenville.com/infertility.htm
  • arw060310
    arw060310 Posts: 256 Member
    We have no children. No medical reason we know of that is preventing it. But after over a year of trying... no luck for us! But... my husband is ALWAYS gone, so that might have something to do with it =] Feel free to add me. I'm hoping my new weight loss will help us TTC
  • _eislek_
    _eislek_ Posts: 198 Member
    Hi there :) My husband and I conceived before he went to Iraq but apparently it was just a "chemical pregnancy" since I lost it at 5 weeks. So no kids for us yet, well he has a son, but no kids of our own. We'll be TTC once he gets back I think. I'm kind of scared to, I really don't want to go through that again!
  • Can you explain what TTC is?
    ... what is DH?

    I was in the same boat. Wanted to pass on these resources:

    http://www.acronymfinder.com/
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/

    I had to look up NSV, TOM, etc. Learning new phrases here on MFP!

    LOL, it's almost as bad as reading teenagers write now isn't it?! Haha
  • We have no children. No medical reason we know of that is preventing it. But after over a year of trying... no luck for us! But... my husband is ALWAYS gone, so that might have something to do with it =] Feel free to add me. I'm hoping my new weight loss will help us TTC

    I'm hoping weight loss will help too! Good luck!
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