Feeling pretty lame...

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So I'm in week 3 of TurboFire and I LOVE it!! I've been working hard at it every single day (besides rest days). Today, during a jump in the air, my back when out as I landed, and I fell on my knees. And for whatever reason, I have been crying like a baby ever since...not because of the pain... but because I feel so frustrated. I used to be a ballet dancer. Studied most of my life... leaps were my speciality. I was really great at what I did. And now... I've gained so much weight that one jump, just one, can take me out. I realize I am probably being dramatic... and I don't even know why it's getting me so down. I'm going to keep doing the best I can, and keep pushing, but sometimes I just feel so stuck underneath all this fat.

Thanks for listening, guys. I just needed to say it, I guess.

Replies

  • 46and2
    46and2 Posts: 167
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    Keep your head up. You're going in the right direction. Keep at it and you will be back to where you were.
  • dayzeerock
    dayzeerock Posts: 918 Member
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    Love, I went to school on a dance scholarship...gymnastics and dance were my life and I was planning on making a career out of it. But then I got Lupus. Now there are days when just WALKING is next to impossible. I feel your pain, I really do. I have my moments where I sit in bed and bawl my eyes out. My best friend was the stunt dancer for Natalie and Mina in "Black Swan"...when I watched it, I had tears streaming down my face as I looked at my body, and wondered where the hell my skill went off to. But guess what? We're still here. We still have feet and legs that work. They may not work to the skill we desire them to, but that doesn't mean we can't strive to get there again.

    And it's okay to cry...
  • DestinyDarbi
    DestinyDarbi Posts: 260 Member
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    Just think of where you'll be at the end of your journey... you'll be jumping all over the place!! Chin up, you're doing fantastic. Don't let anything get you down :flowerforyou:
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
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    *hugs*. It's not lame. It's gotta be a shock. I was a gymnast for a few years (not GREAT or anything, but I was athletic), and it still surprises me once in a while that I can't do a backbend or the splits, let alone a friggin' cartwheel.

    But - you know where you are now. You know it's going to take work to get better, stronger, faster...but the work itself isn't anything you can't do. You can't do it all now, you won't be a dancer again overnight, but you can do some work every day.

    *hugs* again.
  • Stacera
    Stacera Posts: 347 Member
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    oh honey.. i do understand, i danced ballet for 13 yrs... hurt my ankle and had to lay off for a bit.. and just never went back b/c i realized what a social life was like..lol!! .. and now.... just looking at myself I'm always just sooo stunned at how i let myself just... go. bleh.. before I become a downer.. I do understand.. I had such lovely balance and I did pretty well with leaps also and now... I have some pretty clumsy times and I just think.. WTH!!!!!! but you and I and everyone here is doing something to change our lives.. to be happier and healthier. I don't know if the perfect leaps will return as they once were, but as you do more and more exercise and activity your body will handle it better.. I hope your back.. and knee feel better soon!!!

    Stacy
  • Cherilea
    Cherilea Posts: 1,118 Member
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    So I'm in week 3 of TurboFire and I LOVE it!! I've been working hard at it every single day (besides rest days). Today, during a jump in the air, my back when out as I landed, and I fell on my knees. And for whatever reason, I have been crying like a baby ever since...not because of the pain... but because I feel so frustrated. I used to be a ballet dancer. Studied most of my life... leaps were my speciality. I was really great at what I did. And now... I've gained so much weight that one jump, just one, can take me out. I realize I am probably being dramatic... and I don't even know why it's getting me so down. I'm going to keep doing the best I can, and keep pushing, but sometimes I just feel so stuck underneath all this fat.

    Thanks for listening, guys. I just needed to say it, I guess.

    So sorry! I have thrown my back out stretching, picking up a pencil, and leaning over to straighten a rug. Those simple things had me down for 3 days and it is frustrating! You're not being dramatic, but don't let it get you down. Take it easy and maybe visit a chiropractor to "snap" things back into place. Take care of yourself and you will back doing Turbo in no time.
  • SixCatFaerie
    SixCatFaerie Posts: 690 Member
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    Definitely more than okay to cry! I know a bit about how you feel. I used to do gymnastics & I used to climb rocks that everyone else used climbing gear on & I didn't use any at all. I just climbed up with no problem! My nicknames were Lizard (because of my rock climbing ability) & Boy w/Boobs (because I was well developed & the biggest tom-boy ever)

    Now, I have to be careful stepping off of a curb or I might get hurt! Sucks no matter how you look at it!

    (Mine is due in part to a car accident, low self-esteem, & years of bad food choices...)

    We can do this! We can get back or close to what we used to be! (or at least be much healthier than we are now!!!)
  • shoshi68
    shoshi68 Posts: 407 Member
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    I ws in ballet as a little girl, and when I think back to how nimble I was on my feet, I feel kind of ashamed. I also understand there was a lot of reasons why I gained weight, and there are now some much better ones for me to be in better shape. I loved being able to jump around, but I am sure I will be able to dance on lighter feet in the future.

    As to the weeping part, I think we stuff a lot of grief, sadness, anger, down with overeating, and a lot of those emotions come out when the weight comes off. As we look at ourselves, change the way we eat, question the habits we have chosen to follow, it all comes out. It is bound to happen, and it is a good thing. Let the tears flow, just be with the feeling, and you will walk through the fire to the other side a stronger woman.

    love, light, and peace!
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
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    I remember, at my highest weight, my then 9 year old son challenging me to a race. I used to run track. I remembered how it felt to run. My daughter said, "On your mark, get set, go!" And I took off...or tried to! I felt like a freaking polar bear! I was shocked. It took me another 10 years to get serious and decide to take the weight off. I still can't run because of my knees...years of supporting all that weight damaged them. But I cycle like a fiend. And occasionally, I still run a little on the treadmill, just cause it feels good that I can! So keep it up. You will be doing the things you used to do. You're on the right track.