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bethvandenberg
bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
so about 3 years ago I moved to this town and I hung out with this one gal for a year. Then one day she stops talking with me. Now I'm all involved in town activities and my kid and her kid are hanging out again and she calls and wants to hang out....I don't want to hang out with her....What do I say?????

Replies

  • reese66
    reese66 Posts: 2,920 Member
    You got plans...
    I'm washing my hair...
    Let me check my appt book, hmm, I can pencil you in on 12.22.2012...
    :flowerforyou:
  • Heatherbelle_87
    Heatherbelle_87 Posts: 1,078 Member
    politely decline, your schedule is just SOOO packed right now between the activities and tending to the household, your husband, cleaning, gym schedule
  • Yeah, decline a couple of times, she'll eventually get the hint. But be mindful that she may spiteful and stop her child from associating with yours.
  • ivansmomma
    ivansmomma Posts: 500
    Maybe find out why she stopped talking to you, clear the air, then decide from there.
  • lindsaylove07
    lindsaylove07 Posts: 444 Member
    I just ignore them. This happened to me, and I tried to hang out with the girl and she bailed on me to "clean her room" no ****. So I either ignore them, or tell them, hey, I need people in my life who are consistent. I had fun hanging out with you in the past, but it really stung when you dropped me the way you did. I'd be happy to be involved in our kids hanging out, but you and I, aren't a good mix, sorry!
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Maybe she's trying to mend broken fences. Maybe something traumatic happened in her own life that led her to stop talking to her. Maybe she has finally realized what a heel she was and wants to rebuild a friendship. Maybe she's really lonely and is reaching out for someone.

    The bottom line is, you don't know what's going on with her. You didn't give any reason why you don't want to see her again. If you have a good reason and just didn't want to bring it out here, that's fine. Just politely tell her you don't think it's a good idea right now. But if you don't really have any reason, maybe you should try something neutral, like a lunch date, and see if maybe this is something work fixing. Take the kids' example : kids fight all the time, and can be best friends again the next week. Kids know how to forgive and move on; sadly, sometimes adults forget, and I don't think we're any better for that cynicism or callousness.
  • bethvandenberg
    bethvandenberg Posts: 1,496 Member
    Ok this was someone that literally I hung out with every day and I'm in my 40's and we both have kids etc. Then one day....nothing.... So here I was in this new town and the only person I really hung out with just bailed. She had lots of family drama and I was with her through it all. After we quit talking she went on vacation for 2 months. When she returned we've been friendly and we talk when we run into each other. But literally now I am very involved in our little town and I have built some great friendships. the old friend has kind of a pot head reputation. So now I am not thrilled to spend time with her mostly b/c I'm butt hurt why she bailed. So ?????
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