family who is trying to kill my high spirits

femmerides

I am so frustrated. I have worked sooooooo hard these past few months to go from size 18 to size 10. I feel good. I think I look good. I took a pic at a park bathroom using their big mirror and it made me look amazing! However, my sister had to bring me down. "you know you don't look that thin in person, right?

Has this ever happened to any of you and if so, how do you deal?

gel91

Jealousy will get her no where!

Just ignore it, blank her and leave her too it.

Your better than that you worked hard to loose it all so ignoring her shouldn't be a problem!

wtg btw!

SSampley

Yes I have a little coworker who has lost weight, she has lost 20lbs and I have lost 36...I would like to be her before size! She will eat a candy bar and I say nothing..totally not my buisness but she will say stuff like well I am being bad today, its ok though I didnt have to lose much, or once she asked me how much I lost and I said 36 then she said are you done? I said no I would like to lose 20-25 more and she looked me right in the face and said WOW I cant imagine having to lose that much to look good....Oh well she apparently has issues with herself... still makes me wanna punch her though!!

lstnlondry

Jealousy will get her no where!

Just ignore it, blank her and leave her too it.

Your better than that you worked hard to loose it all so ignoring her shouldn't be a problem!

wtg btw!

IF I COULD SAY IT ANY LOUDER I WOULD!!

kids183

I unfortunately deal with this type of thing a lot. Stick to the encouraging people (like those on MFP) and just ignore the negativity. I know it's tough (I have 5 others living in my home - 4 kids and my fiance - those of which eat cookies, pizza etc. in front of me), but when you're low, jump on here and talk to people. Encouragement is always given on MFP. Keep up the great work! You look fantastic!!

Chere
(aka kids183)

phatsoslim

Tell her to F... off. Your weight loss is fantastic! You should be very proud of yourself and all that you have done. You do look that thin and you look fabulous! She is just jealous.

GladImTall

Next time tell her... "Guess what, I can lose the weight... you'll always be an unhappy, ugly person".

leynak

How mean! Especially from a sister. Well, I started late June at a 16. I can't WAIT to be a 10! You have done great, don't let it get you down.

MrsMaas09

I think that if someone else says something to you that's negative, then they are not worth listening to! You are doing awesome and this journey is about you and how you feel about yourself and your accomplishments! Can your sister say she accomplished what you did?

goron59

I get it from time to time and I just ignore it.

I even ignore it when they say nice things like, "wow you look so much thinner than last time I saw you" when I know for a fact I'm exactly the same weight/size.

I just believe in myself, am buoyed by random kind words, and filter out everything else

Congrats on your loss ! 37lbs since May 1st? Impressive!

asilmegan34

Keep in mind beauty isn't just on the outside but on the inside too. Sounds like she isn't that pretty inside or she is projecting insecurities onto you to make HERSELF feel better. So I'd chock it down to weakness on her part.

bowmanj35

I am going to take a wild wild guess here and say she wasnt exactly thin herself.... People get jealous when someone else has something they want, and theres nothing more personal than your personal appearance. What you should really do is take it as a compliment, that she views your weight loss something she has not achieved and wanted to discount your success to make her feel better. Just the same as if you had gained 40 pounds, most people would lie and say they couldn't see much of a difference. Weight is something people want to ignore if they have a problem, and if youre losing it, and they know they arent, its a poke in the eye. Good job and keep going, use it as motivation. its not easy to lose weight but some of us have decided to put down the cheetos and get off our butt, some of us havent.

BGabbart

I have a question How can you not look like that in person? Did you do some kind of touch up work to your photo before she seen it? That is crazy, keep up the great work and God bless your journey.

lizziebeth1028

Jealousy will get her no where!

Just ignore it, blank her and leave her too it.

Your better than that you worked hard to loose it all so ignoring her shouldn't be a problem!

wtg btw!

IF I COULD SAY IT ANY LOUDER I WOULD!!

DITTO!! And congratulations on your weight loss, you look amazing! Job well done. Just curious - does your sister have a weight problem?

laurad1406

ha I purposely tilt my mirror in my bedroom back so the bottom is a couple of inches away from the wall because it makes me look skinnier : ) trick mirror or not, it makes me feel like I look good before I leave the house.....and your sister has NO RIGHT to take that feeling away from you!!!! Like someone else said, tell her to F off, sounds like someone's jealous....

Mommyof3loves

That has got to be hard hearing that from your sister...and in your pictures you look amazing! I would just ignore those comments from her. I know it'll be hard but don't let her bring you down. Is she overweight?

isabelk

Obviously you DO look that thin. You are that thin. She's saying, "You know I don't want to see you as this thin, right?" Which is horrid. Why do people say things that make them look bad? I mean she's saying "I feel better about myself when I imagine you as overweight." UGH. Poor her. It's nice of you to hang around her.

EDITED TO ADD: my skinny sister isn't too thrilled with my weight loss, her response to my weight loss is to feel that she needs to lose more. And she is tiny.

kennethmgreen

Family crap is tough to deal with. Laugh when you can. It's all not very serious anyway (unless we make it very serious). Our families push our buttons like no one else because they installed the buttons.

femmerides

You guys are all soooo amazing! Thanks for all the support. According to my sister we are the exact same size even though my clothes are tight on her. Lol. For the last 7 years she has been the "skinny" one. All 4 of us sisters are big. Im finally the smallest one and my sister doesn't like that. But at least I have all of you!

Maghenta

OH Sweetie, am so proud of you.... Great Job on losing those 6 Dress Sizes.... HOlly Crap! That's MOTIVATION to me.... ::flowerforyou:: I have dealt with annoying familly members too.... Only I wasnt as strong and gave up.... Keep up the good Work and don't pay attention to her....

Articeluvsmemphis

unless this pic is photo-shopped or something, you do look thin. congrats on all that weight. 18-10? WOW! I must be doing something wrong, lol

DestinyDarbi

I had, way in the past, always been the smallest one in my family. When I got preggo and put on 40 lbs, my sister lost a ton of weight is is way skinnier than I EVER was, and suddenly people were noticing her being so skinny and ME being so BIG AND PREGNANT! haha I was SO jealous of her, and my first reaction was to say she didn't look "good" just because of my own personal jealousy and insecurities.

Jump forward to now, and I am SO SO SO SO proud of what she's been through, and the jealousy issue is a thing of the past. I am going to say that your sister is going through what I went through... she is resentful of your progress and possibly thinks you're getting too much of HER attention. Just take anything she says with a grain of salt. It is NOT okay for her to say things like that, and someday she'll apologize because, deep down, she knows you look AMAZING

Kimmer2011

. "you know you don't look that thin in person, right?

The reply that comes to my mind is, "Yeah, I know--I look BETTER!!" The best part of that is that it's certainly true; you look even better in person because that's when your personality really shines through.

Sparksfly

I had, way in the past, always been the smallest one in my family. When I got preggo and put on 40 lbs, my sister lost a ton of weight is is way skinnier than I EVER was, and suddenly people were noticing her being so skinny and ME being so BIG AND PREGNANT! haha I was SO jealous of her, and my first reaction was to say she didn't look "good" just because of my own personal jealousy and insecurities.

Jump forward to now, and I am SO SO SO SO proud of what she's been through, and the jealousy issue is a thing of the past. I am going to say that your sister is going through what I went through... she is resentful of your progress and possibly thinks you're getting too much of HER attention. Just take anything she says with a grain of salt. It is NOT okay for her to say things like that, and someday she'll apologize because, deep down, she knows you look AMAZING

This is so true!

My mom lost some weight a couple of years ago, and I was just getting fatter...and fatter. I totally noticed she lost some weight, but I never said anything positive because I was jealous. What an unsupportive person I was!

She was fishing for a compliment when we were on vacation. She said something like, "Check these pants out! I haven't been able to wear these in 6 years!" and I barely responded with "eh they look ok I guess, maybe they are a little tight on you?"

Bottom line...I was jealous! Don't worry about your sister, she will come around eventually.

sincereme

Uggg Family has a way of putting you down.

I was always the "skinny" one in the family. Once I had my 1st child I gained about 20lbs... When he turned 4 I started gaining weight because of the PCOS. Now I am at my highest and my brother told me a few weeks ago "Wow, You are fat". Ummm really, wow Im pretty sure I see that when I look in the mirror. I wish people would think before they spoke. It's ok though because when I reach my goal, I am going to SCREAM it to the world. Im probably going to take like 100 pics and send them to him....LOL

You have done an awesome job, like someone said - People are jealous of what they want!!!! WTG on all your progress!!!

ritaadkins2002

Cheer-up, im sure yur sister loves u......u will have lots of people to put u down; exspecially since u lost weight. It is the jealous part on there behave and there behavior. U stand yur ground, and don't take any body serious when it comes to critizem. all matters is that u know how u look and feel. so proud of u

Madrow

For the last 7 years she has been the "skinny" one. All 4 of us sisters are big. Im finally the smallest one and my sister doesn't like that.

You also worked so hard to achieve something that came so easily to her, and now she's not only the bigger of you two but she can't feel the same pride you have. I had the same problem when I was 13. I used to be the "Skinny friend" and my heavier friend lost weight and I was no longer the only skinny one. My weight (at the time) wasn't hard to maintain but I was an awkward kid and was teased for being ugly and really thought my only asset was my weight. I never behaved jealously, and instead I decided I would make myself over and sought her guidance because she was the fashionable one and knew how to put on makeup, where I was clueless. Then I found out she had lost the weight with an eating disorder and did it because she wanted to be thin like me and thought I was the standard model of health, meaning something was wrong with her just because I ate all the junk I wanted and was rail-thin but she would measure her food and couldn't drop a pound. She then told me how she was jealous of my "big boobs" and "prefect" clear skin, and I was shocked! I had buck, gap teeth and out-of-control, frizzy hair. I was used to jealousy over my breast size (I was a DD and size 8 by 12 years old and at my current 5'8 height) but I never thought someone I admired so much and who was popular would want something I had -- I thought I was ugly! I explained that my big boobs were covered in purple stretch marks and gave me back trouble AND my perfectly clear skin was the result of horribly dry skin that would crack and bleed if not moisturized well enough. These were things I hated about myself and would have gladly given them up just to have great hair and teeth like hers.

Your sister is adjusting to a shift in her self confidence and discovering feelings she has for herself and she's reacting poorly. Maybe she envies something about you and her jealousy comes from "She already had things going for her! Why does she now get to have my glory?" like it did for me. I'm sure she isn't trying to hurt you. Regardless, she still needs to understand that her comments are hurtful and can sabotage your future efforts to keep getting and staying healthy. If she has other problems and relies on her status as "the skinny one" for her source of accomplishment in life, be a supportive sister and see if you can assist with something troubling her. If you've made an effort to stand up for yourself and she doesn't want your support for anything but she's still nasty and mean, ignore her and let your confidence speak for you. You don't have to put up with people who sabotage you, intentionally or otherwise.

Saruman_w

Don't let anybody get you down. If you feel good about yourself then that's all that really matters.

saltorian

Weird... usually people look FATTER in pictures, not skinnier than they really are. I mean, whoever heard of "the camera takes off ten pounds"? IMO, she's full of s---!

femmerides

Weird... usually people look FATTER in pictures, not skinnier than they really are. I mean, whoever heard of "the camera takes off ten pounds"? IMO, she's full of s---!

I didn't even think of that! Lol. Thanks for that!

And thank you my MFP family! I don't know what I would so without you all!

Jenner22

I stopped listening to the jerks that said things like that about me. I've actually stopped being friends with some people because all they did was bring me down when I was proud of myself. As long as YOU are happy that's all that matters! You look AMAZING!