Don't you ever just want to be the center of somebodies atte

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Mills187
Mills187 Posts: 171
in Chit-Chat
I am a married man and love my wife but she is just so busy and sometimes its so hard to not feel like a priority... This is to personal to share on my FB with friends and family Id rather have some strangers and MFP friends opinions... anyone else ever feel this way?

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  • Riebop
    Riebop Posts: 275
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    I feel like this too! My husband plays alot of video games. Sometimes all I want is for him to stop playing and have an actual converstaion with me. So, I'll sit in the chair next to the computer and practically smother him with hugs and kisses. Don't get me wrong. We spend alot of time together on the weekends. However, Monday through Friday I seem to be really needy for his attention.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
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    I'm really needy during the times that we're not together. Not like he needs to talk to me 24/7, but we live around 40mins from each other. And a surprise text saying Hi or that he's thinking about me would be nice every once in a while.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Talk to her about it!! Please!

    Although I understand why you want some input, turning to internet "friends" is a dangerous slippery slope!
  • Mills187
    Mills187 Posts: 171
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    Oh for sure I have definitely told her about it were always separated with my deployments and stuff like im in South Korea right now and she is in FL and I know she is super busy she is pursuing her Masters degree sometimes its just hard I definitely know she loves me sometimes its just gets really hard I guess :(
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    Wow, I never knew men felt like this! Real shocker! I thought it was always us chicks but to respond to your question. Do you guys call each other frequently? Text? Maybe it's time to start texting her (kind of not conventional but it works) or skyping in your situation? When my husband was away for 2 years (basic, ptrp for 8 months, AIT for 1 year) we texted non-stop throughout the whole day.
    Maybe let her know how you feel? ((hugs)) I know how hard it is to have a long distance relationship. It's not easy and lonely a lot of the times. But you know what, even with the distance, nothing should be more important than letting your significant other know you are thinking about them or that you love them.
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
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    Trust me she misses you!!!! Its hard to not stay busy when you are constantly trying not to think about your other half on a deployment...its the only way to handle it! You have to find yourself in those moments because its no longer "us" Many people feel like you, you should talk to your family, friends, other wives, and your wife you will be surprised that they maybe able to talk with you and help you out :)

    I know when you get home its like you have to meet each other all over again...Good luck Sweetie
  • IMYarnCraz33
    IMYarnCraz33 Posts: 1,016 Member
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    Yep I feel like that a LOT
    We've talked about it many times, but the same ol' same ol' still happens
    and I'm getting fed up.
  • MelMoly
    MelMoly Posts: 1,303 Member
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    Wow, I never knew men felt like this! Real shocker! I thought it was always us chicks but to respond to your question. Do you guys call each other frequently? Text? Maybe it's time to start texting her (kind of not conventional but it works) or skyping in your situation? When my husband was away for 2 years (basic, ptrp for 8 months, AIT for 1 year) we texted non-stop throughout the whole day.
    Maybe let her know how you feel? ((hugs)) I know how hard it is to have a long distance relationship. It's not easy and lonely a lot of the times. But you know what, even with the distance, nothing should be more important than letting your significant other know you are thinking about them or that you love them.

    agree 100% :)
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    I`m not married but it is only natural to want companionship.
    Few problems ever gets better in silence or by themselves,communication can solve a lot.
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
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    its also nice to know someone, anyone is attracted to you. it's human nature. you can be married for a day and it's still nice that someone else finds you attractive. *shrug* what do i know?
  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
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    wait, i guess i read that all wrong. whatever, communication or something is better ... but it's still nice to know you have somebody's attention at all..
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
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    Oh for sure I have definitely told her about it were always separated with my deployments and stuff like im in South Korea right now and she is in FL and I know she is super busy she is pursuing her Masters degree sometimes its just hard I definitely know she loves me sometimes its just gets really hard I guess :(


    Oh, you are physically separated. That is tough!

    I can say from a woman's point of view that has been separated from someone due to deployment, it is a survival tactic. To keep busy will keep her from giving in to those "I miss him so much I just want to lay around and feel sorry for myself" emotions.

    Just keep communicating in the ways you have available. Sorry you are a part from your loved one. :frown:
  • ishallnotwant
    ishallnotwant Posts: 1,210 Member
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    I'm really lucky in that my husband pays a LOT of attention to me, but I am glad I read this post, because sometimes I don't pay very much attention to him. With 5 children and a household to run and him working full time sometimes I really feel just ready to relax when he comes home...I serve him dinner and then kind of shut off...maybe it's time to work on putting him first again.

    OP, i'm so sorry you are apart from your wife, but I do agree with the poster who said that asking for help on the net is a slippery slope-and I would try not to talk to other women about it, either. That can foster a relationship that can become inappropriately intimate. I think it is also a delicate subject to bring up to your friends without having them harbor hard feelings towards your wife...do you have a chaplain or something that you can speak with? Also, I know you say you have brought it up to your wife before, but I think you really should let her know again...maybe she is just so busy at home that she isn't fully realizing how you feel...thank you so much for serving our country. Our family appreciates you!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,639 Member
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    Before my wife and I got married, I would call her every other night (she lived in San Diego and I in the San Franciso Bay area) just to talk for even 5 min.
    Since we've been married, we sit and talk almost every night before bed just catching up and laughing at how funny stuff made us laugh that day.
    When she's on travel, we text and call.
    With today's technology there shouldn't be ANY reason why the person you care about can't take 2 minutes to drop you a note...........unless "they're really not into you".
    Mind you I don't want to insinuate that they don't care, but if they cared enough, they would make you a priority. IMO, lots of married couples take each other for granted and that's why relationships go stale after a few years together. You're together, but you're not "together".
    And ladies, please don't take this the wrong way, but if your man ain't showing you love, it's usually because you're giving them the 3rd degree. Saying little things like "I do all the work around here", "Why don't you understand" are words that will automatically shut a male down and NOT want to be around you. I had to have a female friend of mine listen to a recording of herself talking to her husband and she was appalled at how insensitive she was being. Yes it goes both ways, but women are much more forgiving then men are. Bruise a man's ego and I promise he'll retaliate.
  • ennaejay
    ennaejay Posts: 575
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    Communicate. Figure out ways that, together, you can kick this problem to the curb.

    Relationships go through seasons; periods where the feelings "just aren't there" and it's not all fun and games. That's when you pedal harder, slow your pace and push through, re-prioritize.

    Fight for her and make HER the center of YOUR attention and see what happens. Women tend to be "responders" and it's really, really hard to say no to a guy who makes her his everything.

    Also, if you don't mind religious undertones, Ken Nair has some great things to say in his book "Discovering the Mind of a Woman."

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