Diet quotes..

kayp1 · August 2011

Sent to me by a friend, some are funny, but many words of wisdom!

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork. ~English Proverb

Your stomach shouldn't be a waist basket. ~Author Unknown

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit. ~Author Unknown

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out. ~Author Unknown

One should eat to live, not live to eat. ~Cicero, Rhetoricorum LV

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ~Author Unknown

I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge. ~Paula Poundstone

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale. ~Stephen Phillips

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas. ~Author Unknown

When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment! ~Jillian Michaels

The one way to get thin is to re-establish a purpose in life. ~Cyril Connolly, The Unquiet Grave

Albert Einstein, who discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, "You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers." ~Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50

If nature had intended our skeletons to be visible it would have put them on the outside of our bodies. ~Elmer Rice

I keep trying to lose weight... but it keeps finding me! ~Author Unknown

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. ~Mae West

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days. ~Totie Fields

Rich, fatty foods are like destiny: they too, shape our ends. ~Author Unknown

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. ~Author Unknown

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends. ~Author Unknown
Forget love - I'd rather fall in chocolate! ~Attributed to Sandra J. *kitten*

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not! ~Author Unknown

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us. ~Peter De Vries

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution. ~Author Unknown

Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels. ~Author Unknown

No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office. ~George Bernard Shaw

The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humour. ~Author Unknown

Food is like sex: when you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good. ~Beth McCollister

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. ~Author Unknown

Dieting is wishful shrinking. ~Author Unknown

It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears. ~Plutarch

Bigger snacks mean bigger slacks. ~Author Unknown

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat. ~Jennifer Greene Duncan

Food has replaced sex in my life; now, I can't even get into my own pants. ~Author Unknown

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ~Author Unknown

I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu. ~Jane Wagner

To lengthen your life, shorten your meals. ~Proverb

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. ~Author Unknown

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. ~Author Unknown

Dieting is not a piece of cake. ~Author Unknown
I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short. ~Shelley Winters

Dieters live life in the fasting lane. ~Author Unknown

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing. ~Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876

I'm in shape. Round is a shape... isn't it? ~Author Unknown

Your body is a temple, not a drive-through. ~Author Unknown

My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it. ~Harry Secombe

When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad. ~Janette Barber

We never repent of having eaten too little. ~Thomas Jefferson, 1825

It would be far easier to lose weight permanently if replacement parts weren't so handy in the refrigerator. ~Hugh Allen

A waist is a terrible thing to mind. ~Tom Wilson

All people are made alike -of bones and flesh and dinner -Only the dinners are different. ~Gertrude Louise Cheney

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. ~Orson Welles

We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it. ~Author Unknown

The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage. ~Peggy Ryan

Fat is not a moral problem. It's an oral problem. ~Jane Thomas Noland

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner. ~H.S. Leigh

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable. ~Mark Twain

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet. ~Dan Bennett

Obesity is really widespread. ~Joseph O. Kern II

She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when." ~P.G. Wodehouse

My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat. ~Henny Youngman

I bought a talking refrigerator that said "Oink" every time I opened the door. It made me hungry for pork chops. ~Marie Mott

Another good reducing exercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back. ~Robert Quillen

Don't go out of your weigh to please anyone but yourself. ~Author Unknown