Need support, trying to get pregnant...

myiceisonfire

Our first baby, I had complications the whole pregnancy, had preeclamsia, was on bed-rest for over a month in the hospital, had to deliver at 37 weeks because I almost died (literary), and then baby was in the nicu for over half a month.... Drs said I have a 51% chance of it happening again. 51% chance of dying during my next pregnancy is NOT what my hubby wanted to hear...

So we have a game-plan...
We were researching what to do to help prevent the 51% I have...
Before getting pregnant I have to change my diet (which is what I'm already doing), plus stay away from salty foods & drink extra water. AND I have to be 180lbs at the highest, because i can't be considered "obese".

Would anyone like to help support me & be my friend on this journey?

I was 233lb in March when I joined MFP, now I am 202.8lbs. I think I could be 180 by November.

Soccerstar19

Wow that's a lot to go through, but on the bright side you now have a great motivation to lose those extra pounds and be healthy for your son and baby to be Good luck!

elyssiam

Absolutely! I'll be happy to lend support. I had pre-e but wasn't diagnosed (didn't develop it) until almost 2 weeks before my due date. Everything turned out okay, but our son is an only child due to other complications.

You've done brilliantly with your weight loss so far! I'm very impressed! Keep going! If you want to send me a friend request, I'd be honored. I'm wishing you the very best on this journey!

LORELLI

Wow, that's alot to go thru! What an amazing mother you must be!!!!! I too am trying to lose weight so that I can have a healthy pregnancy and your story just makes me that much more determined!!!! I have lost 45 pounds so far and want to lose another 30 more before getting pregnant, at least! So i would love to help each other on this journey if you still need it!

AndyBee

I will support you. I'm in a similar, yet completely different boat. Our precious boy was stillborn due to a genetic disorder. We have a 25% chance of this happening with each future pregancy. Granted, there is nothing physically that I can do to prevent this from happening again. However, by getting myself in tip top shape, I can at least know in my heart that I provided the best body for my little one.

It's terrifying facing what you are facing. Absolutely - stop you in your tracks- paralyze you terrifying. But when you know you're supposed to be a mom, you have to give it your all.

LORELLI

And I just realized we aren't that far from each other and are in the same or used to be in the same industry lol

SailingMike

As an attorney I have helped several couples with adoption. While I applaud your efforts to get healthy, I would ask you to think about the joy of rescuing a child. EVERY parent I placed a child with, feels just as much love and attachment as any parent to a naturally born child. It is just a different process for delivery.... and in your case MUCH safer.

BTW... I have 7 children (one marriage) so I think I understand parenthood pretty well at this point.

akaChuck

Wow! You sound like an amazing mom Best of luck on your journey-there are tons of supportive people here on MFP

hikeout470

Agreed with sailing Mike, 51% chance sounds a little high in the odds.

myiceisonfire

Thank you to everyone who said I'm an amazing mom.... When my son was born I felt the completely opposite! I felt like I couldn't carry him to term, or take care of my own baby after he was born. Etc. He was 45min away from me for over half a month and I drove to see him almost ever day! I couldn't drive while taking my pain medication that they give you after a c-section. So I wouldn't take the pain killers just so I could see my baby. That was the hardest feeling in the world to not bring him home with me!

I now realize, I wasn't a bad mother for not being able to carry him to term & having him in the nicu for half a month. It wasn't my fault. Took a long time to learn that. ... So all of your kind words really do mean A LOT to me! Thank you so much!

myiceisonfire

This time, I want to actually look pregnant!.... There was a girl who came up to me and said, "You look like a fat person who's pretending to be pregnant"

cmDaffy

Hey ice, do they have an explanation for the pre-e? Generally, women who have it with their first, don't have with it subsequent pg's, (I'm trying to figure out what MORE went on). I delivered both of my kids at 37 weeks. Let's talk more. I used to be a Doula/CB Educator. I'm curious things like, where did the docs get this 51%. After having my DD and getting ready for child #2, my docs weren't concerned about the pre-e and the bed rest as they were about AMA and my Diabetes. With child #1 I was on bedrest for 2 weeks. With child #2, I actually was at water aerobics 12 hours before I gave birth. I KNOW you live in a small town, can you make it to Madison, Green Bay or Milwaukee for a second opinion?

emmabeckemeyer1

I am sorry you felt so down on yourself after the birth of your first child. I am glad you are feeling better about the situation now.
I was having a hard time TTC with my second child and I believe it was because I was over weight. I was able to get pregnant after losing 30lb. I am now down 50lb from having my second child and hubs and I are considering our 3rd.
Losing weight is a challenge but you can do it! Not only for another baby but for yourself and your family

myiceisonfire

I am sorry you felt so down on yourself after the birth of your first child. I am glad you are feeling better about the situation now.
I was having a hard time TTC with my second child and I believe it was because I was over weight. I was able to get pregnant after losing 30lb. I am now down 50lb from having my second child and hubs and I are considering our 3rd.
Losing weight is a challenge but you can do it! Not only for another baby but for yourself and your family

What's ttc? I know i could google it, but i think someone could explain it better.

myiceisonfire

Okay, I guess I can be 185 at the highest. Something about the mass body index has to be lower than 30. I can't be considered obese. So that's only 17.8 lbs away! =D

We go to Jamaica in 9 weeks, I should be 185 by then. HA! Maybe I'll make another "vacation" baby LOL