HELP! Why do I do this?

PamelaRose88

Hello MFP friends!! I need help! I am having such a hard time staying motivated! I have lost 37 pounds since starting my weight loss journey (this spring) including the weight I've lost that's being tracked on here! I am really happy with that and was very excited about looking thinner, I was getting compliments and I physically and mentally felt great!! So why....why would one, seeing results and feeling good, lose motivation? I am having a really hard time making healthy choices (premaking food, exercising, going to bed early etc)! And I am frustrated with myself! I know I am the only one capable of making myself do these things....and I want to feel good! So why...WHY do I do this?!

Inspiration and motivation would be greatly appreciated-maybe even a little tough love would do me good! Thanks all!

unmitigatedbadassery

The simple answer is because the closer to your goals you get the harder you have to work.

Do you have friends to motivate you? Ask them to hold you accountable. That works pretty well for me. In the long run though you have to know what motivates you and find a way to make that happen. Gratz on the -37 - you're doing fantastic.

babylemonade

I think it's normal to start feeling that way after a while...but you've done so great! Keep it up and you'll be at your ultimate goal..maybe then you will be able to stay motivated.

monoxidechick

I am in the EXACT same situation!!!! I have lost 38 lbs and then have barely kept it up all summer. I am now stuck around 157-160 and am barely puting in the effort. Lets push each other to the next level!!! we can do it!!

Tivo8MyNeighbors

PamelaRose, you're not alone. In the past, I would start losing weight and start feeling great about myself, then it's like something inside would freeze up, usually right at the point that I started getting compliments on my appearance. At that point, I'd go back to old habits, and before I knew it, my progress was gone, and then some. It took a while for me to connect this to my experiences as a child (too long a story, that's another time) which taught me that attention for my appearance = "Danger, Will Robinson!" I had to dismantle this outdated internal safety mechanism before I could make any headway.

Not everyone has a traumatic past, but sometimes, we internalize negative messages about our appearance when we're young and vulnerable that lead us to self-sabotage. You've made *so* much progress, it may be useful to look inward and ask whether there's a subconscious stumbling block in your path. It can also help to set new goals or celebrate your success so far. Keep your mind on how far you've come, and don't give up!

You're so close, you can see the finish line Hang in there!

*big hugs*

twitbffl

You need to remind yourself that this is a life change you chose. You are a strong woman who made a conscious decision to better yourself and your health. You are an inspiration to those around you, even if they don't express that to you! 37 lbs is awesome! Don't give up on yourself!! You are doing fantastic!!

melissabell1984

I find myself feeling this way on a weekly basis. I get in a really good groove, only to sabatoge (sp??) myself .. I think 'gee, I'm going great, I can have treat' and then go way over board.

Every meal is a chance to make new choices, Every day you can start again, and you are working towards a healthier YOU! Don't beat yourself up over a slip up here and there. Accept that it happened and move on :-)

Everything you've done and are doing is working towards a healthier lifestyle change!

We're here to support you!

helenoftroy1

This was on the general weight loss forum as one you need to read again and again, I totally know where you are coming from


Phase 1. The start of a brand new day! (or week, or month, or year)
Expectations are sky high, usually so is motivation and intentions. This is where most people lose the most weight. At the start it's not uncommon to see 4 to 8 lb losses per week. The reasons for this are mostly (sorry to disappoint) water weight. You drop excess water quickly, and you can have up to 5 lbs of water weight. The next biggest reason is the fat that is right next to the blood vessels, the stuff that you put on in the last month or three, it will melt like butter usually.

Phase 2. Reality setting in.
At about week 3 to a month or so, people suddenly realize that they are no longer dropping 8, 6, or even 4 lbs a week. This is a crutial phase in your journey. Expect this, it is natural. You have shocked your body by changing both eating habits and exercise routine. Now it has had a little while to become used to the new lifestyle, it's going to compensate. Your body still doesn't believe it's permenant yet, so it will still try to store some fat, so now that it knows how to regulate it's new metabolic levels, it tryies to store fat in earnest. It's not uncommon for people to hit a wall here, no loss for weeks. Expect this as well.

Phase 3. The routine.
At about 2 months or so, your routine is pretty much set, your body is beginning to believe that you really want to STAY the way you are going now. You will start to see more consistant (but lower, usually 1 to 2 lbs a week) loss, also, you should start seeing some muscle tone (depending on how much you had to lose in the first place). If you stop to think, you should realize that you have improved dramatically in your exercise levels. If you do cardio, you should notice how much longer and harder you can work. This is important to realize as it is just as big of an indicator as weight loss. Also, by now you may notice that your clothes no longer fit right. This is also very important. The weight may not be falling off anymore, but you are becomming a smaller person. Weight is arbitrary, if you are building muscle (which your body is doing at a furious pace by now) you won't notice huge losses, but you will notice wholesale changes in the mirror!

Phase 4. Really digging in.
This is where the second wall can happen. You're probably at between 3 and 4 months by now, and if you have gone this far, you feel like you have already suceeded. This is where many people stumble. they are tired of the routine, tired of eating different things from all their friends, limiting their alcohol intake. Basically the shine has worn off. this is when your really need to plant your feet. Maybe change up your exercise routine, make a concentrated effort to find different, but still nutritional food. Talk to people. And examine how far you have come. At this point, no matter how much external motivation you receive, it's all about believing in yourself!

Phase 5. End game.
5 or 6 months in you are probably working on that "last 10 pounds". This can be discouraging for many as it is a slow burn. Remember, your body probably feels like it is where it needs to be, your brain might think you need to lose 10 more, but your body is quite proud of itself now, it feels like it has "Done enough" and it wants to stay RIGHT HERE. The body LIKES to have a little fat around just in case, especially for the ladies (sorry girls, it's just human physiology). If you feel like you still need to lose it, prepare yourself for some guerrila warfare against your body. Design an exercise regimen that is very dynamic, forget the "same thing every day". Make a plan that challenges you both physically and mentally. Make sure you give yourself a day off here and there to just veg. And by all means, remember, muscle burns fat at rest. So get some weight or resistance training involved.
The last 10 may take 3 to 6 months to lose. I know nobody wants to hear that, but it's true. And forget the idea of increasing your calorie deficite, healthy bodies need good nutrition, your body no longer has the fat reserves to handle the large deficites you could when you were 30 40 or 50 pounds overweight. Better to make it a 3 or 400 calorie deficite (NET, please count your exercise calories too!). It may take a bit longer, but your body will like you for it. Plus it feeds those new muscles and keeps them burning fat, keeps your skin healthy (elasticity is important when you want those places that were stretched out to "snap back") and keeps you from getting head aches and depressed.

Conclusion:

this is what I have learned, not just from my journey, but from others as well on here. It saddens me sometimes to see people hit one of these stages and not recognize it for what it is, a part of the process. If we all can have realistic expectations, then we are more prone to win the fight and stay healthy in the long run. Note that some people will hit these stages harder then others, some may take longer, but for the most part, this is the rule that the exceptions will come from.

Best health to you all!

-Banks

tigersword

It sounds like you've been very strict with yourself up to this point. My advice, stop being so strict, let yourself relax once in a while. If you're going to lose weight and keep it off, then the entire lifestyle needs to be permanently sustainable. I exercise, and I watch what I eat, and I track my nutrition, calories, weight and measurements, but I'm not super strict on following everything and being perfectly healthy 100% of the time, because I know for me, it's not going to be totally sustainable like that. If I have to obsess over every detail, I'll lose motivation and crash. So I keep it relaxed. Some weeks I lose 3 pounds, some weeks I lose 1 pound, some days I measure every gram of what I eat, and other days I measure most while estimating some. I've still got about 35-40 pounds left to lose, but even so, I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life right now, and it will only get better. I don't look at it as work, I look at it as life.

mrivera713

I have wondered about what's going to happen when I get to that point. (So add me so you can return a swift kick up my butt when it's my turn). I have lost a TINY bit of weight in the past and had the same thing happen. I get compliments, I enjoy looking at my collar bone and thinner face in the mirror, my clothes fit looser and wham, I decide I can now cheat here and there. Not exercise for one or two days turns into 3 or 4 days turns into 1 or 2 months turns into a year or so or more... A pizza here turns into two pizza's then a cheeseburger and so on and so on. Before you know it, I'm back to the me I tried to change with no motivation...

I THINK you need to make a plan to keep variety in the plan. When your exercises are getting to a point where you can do them without dreading them, find a new exercise to dread? Try new foods. Foods you may not have liked in the past. New recipes. Something different but healthy. We are doing a lifestyle change. So variety helps us to stay interested.

Another thing is that you may want to read what others are doing. There may be MFP'ers who need motivation and to hear a word of encouragement. I find that encouraging others is also encouraging me. This lifestyle change can be forever if you want it, but you are right, only you can make that choice.

You can do it!

merrillfoster

I'm in the same boat. I'm 2 lbs away from my initial goal (4 lbs away from my new goal), and my motivation is just gone. I've been trying to convince myself to exercise for the last 2 hours, but am clearly screwing around on the interwebs instead (the copious amounts of pizza and beer I ingested yesterday, of course, aren't helping). Any ideas on regaining motivation would be fantastic!

jaci34

I struggle with the same issue, the closer I get the harder I have to work and I find myself frustrated! I know I had to change my expectations and realize it's going to be a slower process for me right now and that is ok! Let's stay on track and push each other to continue to lose weight, even when frustrated!!! Sometimes we may over eat, skip working out, but lets not forget we can get right back on track and keep going!

PamelaRose88

Thanks everyone for your input and encouragement!! I found the post on the different phases through out the weight loss journey REALLY helpful!! If anyone is feeling in the same boat as me, feel free to add me and hopefully we can kick each others butts! :P