Serious help needed!!!!

bcakes81178

I cannot seem to get myself motivated....at all. I don't know why. When I first found this website I though it was awesome (I still do) and I was focused and did a good job of entering my food and exercise. Then slowing I starting neglecting to enter stuff...then I stopped going to the gym...then I stopped worrying about what I was eating (until, of course, I have to try clothes on....and then I worry about everything I've eaten). I just can't seem to get myself going. I tell myself ridiculous stuff, like "after the holidays, I'm gonna buckle down and serious"....but really, who am I kidding? People who say that stuff are just looking for an excuse to put it off. So come January...there'll be something else, some other reason I have to wait.

I don't know. I read some of the post about thinking about how much better I'll feel and how much healthier I'll be....or thinking about why I'm doing (which, seriously, is just to look better....I know that sounds terrible...it's supposed to be trying to get healthy and if I happen to look good in a bikini at the end that's a bonus....but for me the bikini comes first, and the healthy part is the bonus). It just seems like no matter how many times I try telling myself all the reasons I should be doing this, it doesn't matter. I do ok for a little while the BAM! I just lose interest.

Am I the only one? I feel like I am. Like everyone else is so focused and has no problem making the time to go to the gym or fit in a workout. I don't know....I know all the benefits to this...I know I'll feel better, have more energy, look better, be healthier, etc. But that still doesn't motivate me. Any suggestions??? Besides a good therapist!!!!! ('cause I know I should probably make time for one of those too!!!! lol)

bcakes81178

I cannot seem to get myself motivated....at all. I don't know why. When I first found this website I though it was awesome (I still do) and I was focused and did a good job of entering my food and exercise. Then slowing I starting neglecting to enter stuff...then I stopped going to the gym...then I stopped worrying about what I was eating (until, of course, I have to try clothes on....and then I worry about everything I've eaten). I just can't seem to get myself going. I tell myself ridiculous stuff, like "after the holidays, I'm gonna buckle down and serious"....but really, who am I kidding? People who say that stuff are just looking for an excuse to put it off. So come January...there'll be something else, some other reason I have to wait.

I don't know. I read some of the post about thinking about how much better I'll feel and how much healthier I'll be....or thinking about why I'm doing (which, seriously, is just to look better....I know that sounds terrible...it's supposed to be trying to get healthy and if I happen to look good in a bikini at the end that's a bonus....but for me the bikini comes first, and the healthy part is the bonus). It just seems like no matter how many times I try telling myself all the reasons I should be doing this, it doesn't matter. I do ok for a little while the BAM! I just lose interest.

Am I the only one? I feel like I am. Like everyone else is so focused and has no problem making the time to go to the gym or fit in a workout. I don't know....I know all the benefits to this...I know I'll feel better, have more energy, look better, be healthier, etc. But that still doesn't motivate me. Any suggestions??? Besides a good therapist!!!!! ('cause I know I should probably make time for one of those too!!!! lol)

Hannah_Banana

I think everybody has trouble, but I think it helps to just not think about it. Its just part of your life, like peeing and drooling on your pillow. When I think about exercising too much, I start to dread it. That makes me not do it.

And we all have bad days too. Yesterday I went over my alloted calories by 600 :ohwell: All I'm doing today is eating light and not eating my exercise calories. It wont completely make up for it, but hey, in the long run, 200 extra cals won't kill you every now and then.

I know what really helps me when I just want to give up is check out the before and after photos thread. When you look at the change in other people, it makes you feel more realistic about the change in yourself. You go, 'She was fat, but now she looks freaking hot!!' which leads you to 'I want to look freaking hot!'

I am with you on the bikini first thing. My family has no history of any medical problems - other than my mom having a knee surgery. We live to be 95 years old, and could then donate our organs to a 30 year old. Yay genetics! :bigsmile: So I am not worried about diabetes or heart disease... just looking good. Ack, you're right, I do feel bad when I say that. But its the truth!

Hang in there, if you need help or a weight loss buddy, PM me and I'm there for ya hun. :flowerforyou:

modernfemme

What really helps to motivate me is to flip through photos of what I used to look like when I was skinny. I think it reminds me that is what I'm supposed to look like, that is who I am, and ultimately, reminds me that it's possible.

Every time I look in the mirror, I think, what am I doing in this body?!

abs0830

When I'm lacking motivation I look at photos of when I was thin. I also think, "Ok, just exercise for 5 minutes and you can be done." The thing is that once you start exercising, after the warm up you can do more. So, for me, it's motivating myself to get started. I have a hectic life and I tend to want a fast meal (which is often not the healthiest). So, I completely understand not being motivated. But, try motivating yourself to start and once you see pounds coming off it's easier to get motivated.

jessabugk

you definitely aren't alone. I do the same thing. I keep telling myself "tomorrow I'll go to the gym" "tomorrow I'll start watching what I eat".. then yeah, maybe I do go to the gym, but my problem is going a second time. Then a third time. I've hit my breaking point.

Do you know at what weight a digital scale can't read anymore..? I've hit that. I need to make a change. Maybe for motivation you should buy that bikini you're dying to fit into. Hang it somewhere you have to walk by it every day, so you remember why you are trying to lose weight. I need to go buy my goal outfit/article. maybe along with the bikini hang up pictures of what you think is beautiful. What you want your body to look like, so you have a daily reminder to keep you going.

I hope I helped..

Felixanvk

Am I the only one? I feel like I am. Like everyone else is so focused and has no problem making the time to go to the gym or fit in a workout. I don't know....I know all the benefits to this...I know I'll feel better, have more energy, look better, be healthier, etc. But that still doesn't motivate me. Any suggestions??? Besides a good therapist!!!!! ('cause I know I should probably make time for one of those too!!!! lol)

You are not, the only one. I know exactly how you feel. But someone told me once. "Step by step, day by day"... We will get there. If you fail... Get up and start over. I do myself all kind of things to keep focus, I fail too.
You are not alone!
My thoughts and prayers to you

PixieGoddess

There's no shame in losing weight to look better! I'd wager that's a bigger motivator for most people than being healthy! Of course, looking good has its own health benefits, namely fighting depression. Depression is a huge problem with most women. I personally have battled depression a long time, and one of the first angry or sad thoughts that come into my head is about my looks, be it weight, my teeth, or any other minute detail I can find any slight flaw in. So don't you feel guilty about that being your motivation! The important thing is to have motivation!

I agree pictures are a great way to stay motivated. I don't have any skinny pictures of myself (at least not since I hit puberty) so I actually use pictures of Victoria's Secret models. I know this sounds crazy and even counter-productive, but some of the VS models are actually very curvy, which is how I want to look. I just put pictures on my bulletin board of some of my favorite models in really cute undies and look at them and think I'M GOING TO WEAR THAT! I also have a friend who does the opposite: she finds the fattest pictures of herself and posts them on her board and thinks I'LL NEVER LOOK LIKE THAT AGAIN! It's different for everyone.

Friends are another great motivator: why do you think weight watchers works as well as it does? If my friend goes for a jog, I feel guilty or lazy if I don't do something too. You don't necessarily have to work out together (I HATE jogging!) but find someone to report to on a regular basis. And include little victories too: I only had half a slice of my child's birthday cake, or I ordered water instead of a cocktail at dinner last night. These "little victories" are HUGE and you should celebrate your good work every time you get a chance!

Lauren882

Oh my gosh, please don't feel so bad! We're all in the same boat. We're all here to lose weight, look better, and feel better. Yeah, health is one of those things but I think if you took a poll with the majority if us, we're all thinking about that bikini first.

I never had any motivation and I ate whatever I wanted...that's what got me here. Now, I have 2 weddings, my best friend and my sister's, this summer and I just didn't want to be the whale in the wedding photos. But, until I had those HUGE motivators I just couldn't get going.

Like Felix said, it's day by day. I can't think about what I'm going to do in January, I have to focus on what I'm eating and doing RIGHT NOW, at 11:37am.

I don't know if any of this helped but I can tell you, we're all with you and this site really has turned into a family full of people I've never met ( ) but that I genuinely want to succeed and you're one of them!

-L

nickybr38

Every day I don't want to watch what I eat, and I don't want to go to the gym... I know it sounds bad but I kind of just... blank out. I do it. I push through it. I post pictures all over my wall of what I looked liek when I was thin and pictures of people who have lost weight. I have charts all over my walls of how much I've gained and lost and I just... I do whatever I can to remind myself what taking a day off equals you know?

Basically, I don't think anyone finds it easy. ): But hang in there.

MadTurtle

This is my second time at the rodeo.

Last year I had a close relative die from cancer and I struggled to try and stay with it but in the end it all rolled up. Interestingly enough I didn't gain very much of the weight back that I had lost.

I am almost 50 and have been on every diet plan ever conceived. Some medically supervised and some just downright quackery that you wouldn't dare breathe a word of to your Doctor. The results were always the same...... MORE FAT THAN I STARTED WITH !!!!

I had heard a local Radio Talk Show Host describe his experience with one of these courses like Dale Carniege which teaches executives to be successful. It seems in his younger years this Host had been a Lawyer and actually passed the Bar Exam on the first try which is unheard of for even the the brightest of us. He went on about how he acted like a lawyer and dressed like a lawyer and thought of himself like a lawyer till he was one.

When he showed up for the test everyone else was in bluejeans and t-shirts ,but not him, he was in a 3 piece suit. Sure he received a lot of guff from folks but he left with his shingle and they did not.

He said he had learned from the Course that you have to visualize your success until it happens.
By constantly visualizing your success you retrain your subconcious and remove the negativity blocking your path.

This program or any program won't make you slim! Only YOU can make you slim! I attribute my holding the line for most of this year to hearing this Talk Show Host over a year ago.

I recently heard him retell this story and then I saw your post. I saw how much it had affected me over a year ago.

Even with out this program I held the LINE!

So if its negative I don't accept it.! I am only interested in positive. This program is positive in many ways and I will take full advantage of it. Think of it as your 3 piece suit.

And now that I have made the visualization that I am slim the weight is starting to go. Do what ever is necessary to remove the negative. If mirrors bug you! Take them down. Fat photos! Take them down.
Watch slim people! Do what they do and go where they go! Act like they act! Especially when they eat.

No amount of cajoling,bargaining or self rationalization or negativity will make you slim!

No amount of anything will help you succeed if you already admitted the possibility of FAILURE!

When food or drink calls that you shouldn't eat just compare that to your vision if it doesn' t fit put it down.

When you don't feel like exercising compare it to your vision and get on with it!

Think Slim! Be Slim!

neeterskeeter

It's okay hon. I think just the fact that you're here and you're thinking about this is a positive step. I used to be just like you, putting off working out and eating healthy, having some goal that seemed pretty far in the future and then, bam, it would be here and I wouldn't have lost a pound or done anything healthy.

I haven't been consistent at this for that long so maybe I'm not one to talk. But I feel like something really changed in me when I started thinking about my health instead of about my looks. I used to go on crash diets and yeah I would lose weight and "look good" but then it would all come back. On the inside, I wasn't healthy. And I wasn't happy.

Then I got worried when I got tests for life insurance and I saw a huge list of things that could make them reject me or raise my rates significantly. I don't have any of those problems but I am only 27 and for the first time ever, I thought, what am *I* doing to keep myself healthy? I did some research and learned to my horror that it is really hard for people who don't have good jobs to get health insurance, that health and life insurance can reject people for pre-existing conditions or other refuse to cover treatments. I just looked at my future... not the hot body I want *now* (which I do!!!) but the long, healthy life I want to live long after it's practical to look very "hot" anymore, unless I want to be a cougar LOL.

The person who said "step by step, day by day" is right. I stopped thinking about "next summer I'm going to weigh 125 so I can fit into a bikini" and started thinking about, what choices am I making *today*, right now? Is this a good choice or a bad choice? I find that I feel much healthier and happier. And as an added bonus, I look better too! Even if the pounds don't come off as fast as I'd like them to (I always want instant results!), I can tell based on the way my pants hang a bit big when they used to be snug, my face looks thinner, my waist looks so small!

The physical benefits *are* motivational too though and I agree with the person who said to buy a bikini and hang it up for inspiration (like on the yogurt commercial LOL). In college I did that with a pair of jeans that were the size I wanted to be... and I fit in them after a few months! In the meantime they hung on the outside of my close and inspired me.

So just hang in there and take one step at a time. Do ONE healthy thing today, whether it's stretching or going for a walk or eating a banana instead of chips. Good luck!!

bcakes81178

I know what really helps me when I just want to give up is check out the before and after photos thread.

Where can I find this?

And thank you everyone for the help. I really appreciate it!!!:flowerforyou:

Tri_Dad

I stay motivated by surrounding myself with two things: Reasons why I want to lose weight and Memories of what my weight has prevented me from doing.

Reasons I want to lose weight:
My children-They are around me contatnly so I dont really need much reminder
My health-I am pretty much a genetic copy of my father. We are practically twins and he has a load of health issues not that stem from an unhealthy lifestyle. He has to go in for gastric bypass next month as a last ditch effort by his doctors to keep him from being in what they describe as (Eminant danger of death.)

Memories of times that my weight held me back:
Remembering how I was ashamed to take my kids to the beach this summer because I didnt want to take my shirt off.
Keeping a few articles of my "Small" clothes around to remind myself of what I have let myself become.
Remembering all the times I had to dissapoint my son because daddy was "To tired" to play.

Whenever I don't feel motivated I think of these things and that ussually gets the motor running. It's hard sometimes because you don't feel fat in your mind. In your mind you are perfectly fine and sometimes it's hard to realize that the outside doesnt match the inside. the important thing is to remind yourself that you deserve to have a body that reflects your worth and that letting food dictate how the world sees you and how you see yourself isnt fair to you. I know I'm worth it and I know you are too. I know you are all worth it.

Hannah_Banana

I know what really helps me when I just want to give up is check out the before and after photos thread.

Where can I find this?

And thank you everyone for the help. I really appreciate it!!!:flowerforyou:

I probably should have linked it the first time. :blushing:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/31003-post-your-before-after-photos

bcakes81178

Thank you!!!! I"m gonna go take a look right now!!!