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I'm completely out of control!

Vanessa414Vanessa414 Posts: 644Member Posts: 644Member
Here's a brief version of my story:

I started MFP last Nov. at 197 lbs (Heaviest I've ever been sans being pregnant). By May I was down to 177. 6 months later I am all the way up to 209.

I've been at least giving it a try for the last couple of weeks, but I'm having such a hard time.

First and foremost: Christmas cookies are KILLING me. I think I've had enough of them at this point though that I'd be ok if I didn't see another one until NEXT Christmas so I'm hoping I've over-cookied myself to the point where it's a non-issue.

Secondly: For the last 3 months or so... I have this urge to eat until I'm completely STUFFED. Which I know is not the way you're supposed to eat but I just can't seem to help myself. I'll eat a reasonable portion of my dinner, try to wait 20 minutes, make it about 5 and say "screw it" and I go get another plate, even though I'm not hungry anymore. I'm not entirely sure what to do about that. I try to chew slower, but I can't concentrate on it long enough to make it through the whole meal, I try to wait at least 20 minutes before deciding whether or not I really need more food, but it's like an obsession. I just sit there and think about it until I finally give up and go get more food.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't really know how to fix this. Especially with the holidays in full bloom.

BUT I can't do this to myself anymore. I can't afford new cloths and mine are all too small on me now except my big baggy sweatshirts so that's all I wear. I figure "well, I already look terrible, might as well just throw my hair in a pony tail. Oh, and makeup? What's the point."

It's getting me pretty depressed and I need help!

If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it! I need to get out of this slump!
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Replies

  • Vanessa414Vanessa414 Posts: 644Member Posts: 644Member
    Here's a brief version of my story:

    I started MFP last Nov. at 197 lbs (Heaviest I've ever been sans being pregnant). By May I was down to 177. 6 months later I am all the way up to 209.

    I've been at least giving it a try for the last couple of weeks, but I'm having such a hard time.

    First and foremost: Christmas cookies are KILLING me. I think I've had enough of them at this point though that I'd be ok if I didn't see another one until NEXT Christmas so I'm hoping I've over-cookied myself to the point where it's a non-issue.

    Secondly: For the last 3 months or so... I have this urge to eat until I'm completely STUFFED. Which I know is not the way you're supposed to eat but I just can't seem to help myself. I'll eat a reasonable portion of my dinner, try to wait 20 minutes, make it about 5 and say "screw it" and I go get another plate, even though I'm not hungry anymore. I'm not entirely sure what to do about that. I try to chew slower, but I can't concentrate on it long enough to make it through the whole meal, I try to wait at least 20 minutes before deciding whether or not I really need more food, but it's like an obsession. I just sit there and think about it until I finally give up and go get more food.

    I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't really know how to fix this. Especially with the holidays in full bloom.

    BUT I can't do this to myself anymore. I can't afford new cloths and mine are all too small on me now except my big baggy sweatshirts so that's all I wear. I figure "well, I already look terrible, might as well just throw my hair in a pony tail. Oh, and makeup? What's the point."

    It's getting me pretty depressed and I need help!

    If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it! I need to get out of this slump!
  • amymeenieminymoamymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394Member Member Posts: 2,394Member Member
    As far as the cookies or other sweets, get them out of the house. If you don't have access to them, you cannot overindulge on them.

    What are you eating for meals? Are they not satisfying? Take a look at what you are eating and if they are all rabbit food/"healthy" food but foods that you hate, that could be why you are eating beyond being hungry, because emotionally you aren't satisifed. I make plenty of foods for dinner that are good for me, but are also yummy. Try delish.com, there are lots of great recipies. And even if it isn't so heatlhy, have a smaller portion and fill up the rest of your allotment with fruits and veggies.

    When you are on the wagon, do you allow yourself a cheat day? If not, try it, maybe once a week to start. If for weeks you have had a really hard time keeping at it, it could be because you are going into with the intention of never cheating, which can make you crack and cheat all the time. Good luck!
  • Vanessa414Vanessa414 Posts: 644Member Posts: 644Member
    As far as the cookies or other sweets, get them out of the house. If you don't have access to them, you cannot overindulge on them.

    What are you eating for meals? Are they not satisfying? Take a look at what you are eating and if they are all rabbit food/"healthy" food but foods that you hate, that could be why you are eating beyond being hungry, because emotionally you aren't satisifed. I make plenty of foods for dinner that are good for me, but are also yummy. Try delish.com, there are lots of great recipies. And even if it isn't so heatlhy, have a smaller portion and fill up the rest of your allotment with fruits and veggies.

    When you are on the wagon, do you allow yourself a cheat day? If not, try it, maybe once a week to start. If for weeks you have had a really hard time keeping at it, it could be because you are going into with the intention of never cheating, which can make you crack and cheat all the time. Good luck!

    When I'm "on the wagon" my day looks like this:

    Breakfast: Fruit
    Lunch: Something healthy (salad, wrap, etc)
    Dinner: Regular food (i.e. casserole, chicken, hamburgers, tacos)

    And dinner is where I run into trouble. There's where I overindulge and can't stop. I eat these things because my boyfriend won't eat "healthy" food and I really don't particularly like most of them either. Alot of the casseroles I make and stuff are chock full of veggies and I always use the Healthy Request soups for the cream of whatevers that go in most of them and all in all, most of the foods I eat for dinner really are not all that bad.... if you eat the right portions.

    However, I tend to eat about half a cake pan sized casserole on my own most nights.

    And I did allow myself "cheat days" once a week... but what usually ended up happening was I'd have my cheat day and then the rest of the week would be blown because after the cheat day for whatever reason I just kept eating unheathily.
  • plantlady99plantlady99 Posts: 1,342Member Member Posts: 1,342Member Member
    Maybe you are not eating enough for Breakfast and lunch.

    You sound so depressed. I feel for you.

    Well. Get your hair out of that pony tails and put some make up on and go for a walk.

    I know I am probably the last person to give advice. It took me 6 months to really exercise, but I just kept at it. You can do it.


    Kathy
  • age1389age1389 Posts: 1,160Member Member Posts: 1,160Member Member
    Well I think you should eat a bigger breakfast and add some lean meat to it. Eat low cal. snacks through out the day like fruit, veggies, 100 cal snacks, cheese slices with some crackers stuff like that. Now when you get to dinner you won't be so hungry. But I think your eating not cause your hungry your probably eating emotionally. You need to figure what is bugging you and what is making you want to over eat.
    At least your aware that your not even hungry. Instead of going to eat after 20 min. drink water if that doesn't help chew gum if that doesn't help brush your teeth. If none of that helps get yourself something other then left overs like a piece of fruit just something other then the left overs. Allow yourself something at night like dessert and that might help.
    I hope this helped and gave you some iddeas:flowerforyou:



    -Adrienne:heart:
  • MissGorgeousMissGorgeous Posts: 394Member Member Posts: 394Member Member
    some may not agree with this
    but this was true in my case
    and alot of my friends too.
    when you are ready
    you wll do it and succeed
    you may want it...and try and fail.
    it means you were not ready to change
    but when the time comes and you really are ready to change
    nothing will get in your way not even your favorite foods.

    i was fat and unhappy
    i would try and fail and try and fail
    but it hit me one day
    omg i cannot go on like this
    and i havent looked back
    all thoes times i tried and failed i was not ready
    but when i got in a rut of sweats and no makeup
    and no guys even looked my way....my "friends"
    reminded me all the time man you used to be so pretty
    it all just hit me one day
    i have to change
    i hit rock bottom
    maybe you havent hit that point yet
  • cherapplecherapple Posts: 671Member Member Posts: 671Member Member
    The more unhealthy food you eat, the more your body will crave. You have to give it up. At least I did, and it took me almost 40 years of yoyoing to learn. It's really like an addiction (if not literally an addiction), and it's so hard to quit. But you feel like a new person when you do. If you don't eat the junk, the cravings will disappear, and you will have the appetite of a normal person for the first time in your life. That's my experience, anyway. :laugh:
  • Phoenix_RisingPhoenix_Rising Posts: 11,519Member Member Posts: 11,519Member Member
    some may not agree with this
    but this was true in my case
    and alot of my friends too.
    when you are ready
    you wll do it and succeed
    you may want it...and try and fail.
    it means you were not ready to change
    but when the time comes and you really are ready to change
    nothing will get in your way not even your favorite foods.

    i was fat and unhappy
    i would try and fail and try and fail
    but it hit me one day
    omg i cannot go on like this
    and i havent looked back
    all thoes times i tried and failed i was not ready
    but when i got in a rut of sweats and no makeup
    and no guys even looked my way....my "friends"
    reminded me all the time man you used to be so pretty
    it all just hit me one day
    i have to change
    i hit rock bottom
    maybe you havent hit that point yet

    I was trying to figure out how to word that exact sentiment.
    One day your sadness will turn to steel and become motivation.
  • Hannah_BananaHannah_Banana Posts: 1,242Member Member Posts: 1,242Member Member
    I was trying to figure out how to word that exact sentiment.
    One day your sadness will turn to steel and become motivation.

    Lauryn! That was beautiful! Permission to use it in my sig? With credit to you of course. :flowerforyou:
  • Vanessa414Vanessa414 Posts: 644Member Posts: 644Member
    Thanks to everyone for all the great advice.

    At this point, I think it really just comes down to will power. It's not an issue of being hungry.

    I do snack on grapes throughout the day and I agree that I think I do need to add some protein to my breakfast. I'll figure that one out soon.

    I'm always satisfied after breakfast and lunch so I know that's not the issue. I think I could use an afternoon snack though because by the time i'm ready to leave work, I'm pretty hungry.

    I think one of the really good ideas is to brush my teeth. I think I'm also going to make sure I'm the last to eat, that way, after I portion out my meal i can wrap up the left overs and put them away. I think that might help quite a bit. Then, if I still feel the urge to keep eating, I'm going to brush my teeth. Then if I STILL want to eat, I'll snack on some fruit.

    Again, thanks so much for all the great advice. I really appreciate it!!

    I'm going to try to start posting more too, maybe if I "surround" myself with you all that are on this journey it'll be easier to stay focused.

    :smile:
  • superduperbandnerdsuperduperbandnerd Posts: 80Member Posts: 80Member
    They say that people who eat at least 300 cals for breakfast eat a 100 less calories in their over all day.
  • ChubbyBunnyChubbyBunny Posts: 3,532Member Member Posts: 3,532Member Member
    I agree that the calories are not proportinate throughout the day.
    You gotta remember you are constantly burning calories. So if you are just eating a 50 calorie piece of fruit... you have burned 1/2 of the calories just from pealing and eating it!

    Make your breakfast and lunch meals more hearty, that way you don't overindulge at dinner time. I'm like that. On busy days I may eat very little, but when I slow down and the food is in front of me at dinner I just lose it.

    Of course, there is the desire too.
    You have to really focus and make changes in your diet. Which will make it easier to lose weight and keep it off.

    I eat regular foods, BUT I mentally weigh their worth, Chicken vs a Big Mac.... well I play pros and cons....after that I choose the one I want.... and somedays...it's the Big Mac
  • cstangcstang Posts: 28Member Posts: 28Member
    It looks like you're eating alot of carbs which burn quickly making you feel hungry a short time after eating. I bought my self the Biggest Loser Series just to learn how to get healthy. I also bought the Nutrition for Dummies book. Although I've "dieted" previously by eating what I thought was healthy, I even tracked my calories (and stayed within) I wasn't losing weight and always felt hungry. With these books, I educated myself on HOW to eat. I found that even though I was staying within my alotted calories, I was eating alot of carbs which are stored as fat when not used up as energy. So, I now eat a lean protein, whole grain breads, cereals, etc and up my veggies. I try to stay away from the higher carb fruits and vegetables, while they are still better than a cookie, they have alot of sugar so it is burned quickly, making you feel hungry. I'm still a work in progress, I have alot more to learn, but I feel so much better now that I'm mindful of what's going in my mouth. I overindulge on breakfast because I know I have all day to burn off those calories, then have a light dinner because I'm not as active in the evening giving me little time to burn off a high calorie meal. I also eat a mid morning snack of a lean protein and fruit and a mid afternoon snack of a protein and a veggie. By eating 5-6 small meals a day, I don't feel hungry. I also pack my meals for the day when I work. This way I know exactly what I'm going to eat and when, so my body knows it's not going to starve. I hope you find this helpful, but ultimately it's up to you to start. When you're ready, you'll do it.
  • lenecelenece Posts: 389Member Member Posts: 389Member Member
    I was like this at one point and it took a tradgety* to wake me up and get my fat *kitten* off the couch n do something about it..Even though I slowly lost 75 lbs in a year I still have a long way to go..You have to be ready to do this and you've only been at it a cpl of weeks dont beat yourself up over it..We all didnt gain our weight overnight and its not gonna melt off overnight no matter how much we want it too..You have to take it one pound at a time...

    Also throw the junk food out, thats what I did..Get fruits n low cal stuff to snack on drink lots n lots n lots of water..I drink water b4 each meal n it seems to help me..Chew gum if you think you need food or do a puzzle or read throw your mind off the food..These are just things that have worked for me and to this date I have lost a total of 82 lbs in a year long time to do it n still have 65 more to go but I will do n so WILL YOU..Keep your head up and hang in there...
  • Phoenix_RisingPhoenix_Rising Posts: 11,519Member Member Posts: 11,519Member Member
    I was trying to figure out how to word that exact sentiment.
    One day your sadness will turn to steel and become motivation.

    Lauryn! That was beautiful! Permission to use it in my sig? With credit to you of course. :flowerforyou:

    Aww shucks :blushing: Of course you can use it, no credit necessary.
  • MireilleMireille Posts: 5,150Member Member Posts: 5,150Member Member
    Is everything else in your life good?

    The reason I ask is because sometimes when things are bad in other areas of our lives, it can affect how we feel about ourselves and we unknowingly sabotage our hard work. :flowerforyou:
  • kellchkellch Posts: 7,891Member Member Posts: 7,891Member Member
    One thing that helps me is that I go for a walk as soon as I get done eating. (my dog barking at me until I do it helps too as soon as I finish the last bite and walk into the kitchen he is there barking at me...yes that's it get a dog :laugh: ) There have been nights I want to get a second plate...not because I am hungry, but because it was so good. I am also an emotional eater but I've replaced eating with walks. Walking really helps. By the time I get back I no longer crave that food. So when I think I want more, I make myself go walk first. :drinker:
    I snack on string cheese and yogurt throughout the day too. Putting the food away right away is a good idea, brushing your teeth is also good, and another thing I've gotten into the habit of doing is, looking in the mirror at myself and saying "do I really need that food? " "do I really want to throw away everything I have put into becoming healthy and losing weight?" "Did I do that hour long workout and sweat really hard for nothing?" I mean after an hour of TaeBo and sweating and working soooo hard, I just don't want to throw it away. I worked hard to burn those 500 calories. I've got the mindset that if my calories are gone, I either have to workout or stop eating. And most of the time I choose stop eating :laugh:
    The main thing, is you have to be READY to do this. If you are depressed, you really should see a doctor. Talk to him or her about the issues they can help. And get a dog :bigsmile: I was very depressed after my abusive relationship years back and getting a dog helped so much...She was my little angel.:heart: She made me exercise too. I felt bad if I didn't walk her. We are here for you. Don't get down on yourself either. Instead use it as motivation to change. You will get to a point that you don't want to live like this anymore and pull strength from within and tell yourself you can and you will do this. :flowerforyou: You ARE worth it! :drinker:
  • Vanessa414Vanessa414 Posts: 644Member Posts: 644Member
    It looks like you're eating alot of carbs which burn quickly making you feel hungry a short time after eating. I bought my self the Biggest Loser Series just to learn how to get healthy. I also bought the Nutrition for Dummies book. Although I've "dieted" previously by eating what I thought was healthy, I even tracked my calories (and stayed within) I wasn't losing weight and always felt hungry. With these books, I educated myself on HOW to eat. I found that even though I was staying within my alotted calories, I was eating alot of carbs which are stored as fat when not used up as energy. So, I now eat a lean protein, whole grain breads, cereals, etc and up my veggies. I try to stay away from the higher carb fruits and vegetables, while they are still better than a cookie, they have alot of sugar so it is burned quickly, making you feel hungry. I'm still a work in progress, I have alot more to learn, but I feel so much better now that I'm mindful of what's going in my mouth. I overindulge on breakfast because I know I have all day to burn off those calories, then have a light dinner because I'm not as active in the evening giving me little time to burn off a high calorie meal. I also eat a mid morning snack of a lean protein and fruit and a mid afternoon snack of a protein and a veggie. By eating 5-6 small meals a day, I don't feel hungry. I also pack my meals for the day when I work. This way I know exactly what I'm going to eat and when, so my body knows it's not going to starve. I hope you find this helpful, but ultimately it's up to you to start. When you're ready, you'll do it.

    I understand all of this and have read the Biggest Loser books myself. HOWEVER,

    I HATE THAT FOOD. No kidding. Can't do it. Right now.. I'm FORCING myself to eat whole wheat tortillas for my wraps for lunch instead of flour ones

    I understand the significance of everything that you said, but plain and simple... I tried it last February, and if I try to eat that way again, I will do nothing but go insane and over indulge on things far worse than what I'm eating now because that's what happened last time.

    I never eat fast food. I eat ALOT of boneless, skinless chicken breasts, and lean ground beef, I stay away from fried foods (although there is one meal that I have fried tortillas with), I always look for lower sodium and fat everything.

    What I eat, while it isn't "perfect" it works for me as long as I can get my portions under control. Like I said before. I'm not hungry. It's not about being hungry. It's simply that I can't stop myself once I've started eating. I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm bored or stressed.

    My diet consists of more protein than carbs because I've cut out most pasta and when I do eat pasta I have whole wheat pasta because I don't notice a taste difference at all.

    Basically, what I'm saying, is that if you are one of those people that is able to completely and 100 percent overhall your diet and eat completely healthy and all that, I applaud you because I know that i would NEVER be able to do that. But if you're like me, there ARE ways to MODIFY what you're eating now, still obtain a much healthier diet, and still enjoy your food. I also understand that there are a good amount of people out there who find out they LOVE those super healthy foods, but there are also a good amount of people out there like me who really don't.

    I don't beleive that it's my food choices that are hindering me. I believe, again, that it's the portion control.

    I didnt mean to turn this into a long rant, I just feel really strongly about this and I want people to understand that there are "skinny" people who eat just like I do everday (and some worse). The foods i'm eating now are NOT what got me where I am today. Arbys, KFC and McDonalds got me where I am today. I'm not eating the healthiest food out there, but in my mind, I've come up with a pretty good balance.

    NOW, if I could just get that portion thing under control!!!!! :tongue:
  • kellchkellch Posts: 7,891Member Member Posts: 7,891Member Member
    It looks like you're eating alot of carbs which burn quickly making you feel hungry a short time after eating. I bought my self the Biggest Loser Series just to learn how to get healthy. I also bought the Nutrition for Dummies book. Although I've "dieted" previously by eating what I thought was healthy, I even tracked my calories (and stayed within) I wasn't losing weight and always felt hungry. With these books, I educated myself on HOW to eat. I found that even though I was staying within my alotted calories, I was eating alot of carbs which are stored as fat when not used up as energy. So, I now eat a lean protein, whole grain breads, cereals, etc and up my veggies. I try to stay away from the higher carb fruits and vegetables, while they are still better than a cookie, they have alot of sugar so it is burned quickly, making you feel hungry. I'm still a work in progress, I have alot more to learn, but I feel so much better now that I'm mindful of what's going in my mouth. I overindulge on breakfast because I know I have all day to burn off those calories, then have a light dinner because I'm not as active in the evening giving me little time to burn off a high calorie meal. I also eat a mid morning snack of a lean protein and fruit and a mid afternoon snack of a protein and a veggie. By eating 5-6 small meals a day, I don't feel hungry. I also pack my meals for the day when I work. This way I know exactly what I'm going to eat and when, so my body knows it's not going to starve. I hope you find this helpful, but ultimately it's up to you to start. When you're ready, you'll do it.

    I understand all of this and have read the Biggest Loser books myself. HOWEVER,

    I HATE THAT FOOD. No kidding. Can't do it. Right now.. I'm FORCING myself to eat whole wheat tortillas for my wraps for lunch instead of flour ones

    I understand the significance of everything that you said, but plain and simple... I tried it last February, and if I try to eat that way again, I will do nothing but go insane and over indulge on things far worse than what I'm eating now because that's what happened last time.

    I never eat fast food. I eat ALOT of boneless, skinless chicken breasts, and lean ground beef, I stay away from fried foods (although there is one meal that I have fried tortillas with), I always look for lower sodium and fat everything.

    What I eat, while it isn't "perfect" it works for me as long as I can get my portions under control. Like I said before. I'm not hungry. It's not about being hungry. It's simply that I can't stop myself once I've started eating. I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm bored or stressed.

    My diet consists of more protein than carbs because I've cut out most pasta and when I do eat pasta I have whole wheat pasta because I don't notice a taste difference at all.

    Basically, what I'm saying, is that if you are one of those people that is able to completely and 100 percent overhall your diet and eat completely healthy and all that, I applaud you because I know that i would NEVER be able to do that. But if you're like me, there ARE ways to MODIFY what you're eating now, still obtain a much healthier diet, and still enjoy your food. I also understand that there are a good amount of people out there who find out they LOVE those super healthy foods, but there are also a good amount of people out there like me who really don't.

    I don't beleive that it's my food choices that are hindering me. I believe, again, that it's the portion control.

    I didnt mean to turn this into a long rant, I just feel really strongly about this and I want people to understand that there are "skinny" people who eat just like I do everday (and some worse). The foods i'm eating now are NOT what got me where I am today. Arbys, KFC and McDonalds got me where I am today. I'm not eating the healthiest food out there, but in my mind, I've come up with a pretty good balance.

    NOW, if I could just get that portion thing under control!!!!! :tongue:

    How much exercise are you getting?
  • Vanessa414Vanessa414 Posts: 644Member Posts: 644Member
    One thing that helps me is that I go for a walk as soon as I get done eating. (my dog barking at me until I do it helps too as soon as I finish the last bite and walk into the kitchen he is there barking at me...yes that's it get a dog :laugh: ) There have been nights I want to get a second plate...not because I am hungry, but because it was so good. I am also an emotional eater but I've replaced eating with walks. Walking really helps. By the time I get back I no longer crave that food. So when I think I want more, I make myself go walk first. :drinker:
    I snack on string cheese and yogurt throughout the day too. Putting the food away right away is a good idea, brushing your teeth is also good, and another thing I've gotten into the habit of doing is, looking in the mirror at myself and saying "do I really need that food? " "do I really want to throw away everything I have put into becoming healthy and losing weight?" "Did I do that hour long workout and sweat really hard for nothing?" I mean after an hour of TaeBo and sweating and working soooo hard, I just don't want to throw it away. I worked hard to burn those 500 calories. I've got the mindset that if my calories are gone, I either have to workout or stop eating. And most of the time I choose stop eating :laugh:
    The main thing, is you have to be READY to do this. If you are depressed, you really should see a doctor. Talk to him or her about the issues they can help. And get a dog :bigsmile: I was very depressed after my abusive relationship years back and getting a dog helped so much...She was my little angel.:heart: She made me exercise too. I felt bad if I didn't walk her. We are here for you. Don't get down on yourself either. Instead use it as motivation to change. You will get to a point that you don't want to live like this anymore and pull strength from within and tell yourself you can and you will do this. :flowerforyou: You ARE worth it! :drinker:

    I would LOVE to get a dog!! Lol. But I have a baby and I don't think I could handle two :smile:

    I don't feel like i'm really... depressed, you know? I just feel like I really get down about this weight thing because the root cause of this problem is my completely and TOTAL lack of self control and will power. I've been trying to quit smoking for ... 8 months, trying to at least cut down on my drinking, but I am a creature of immediate satisfaction. When i want it, I want it and I have an impossible time saying no to myself. It's hard for me. And I know it will probably ALWAYS be hard for me, but I want to better myself. I want to get to the point where... I can just NOT eat that cookie. I can just NOT have another plate (or cigarette, or drink or whatever). This whole thing is just a tiny peice of a bigger issue that I'm having and I'm just so unbelievably ready to fix it. I'm sick of spending my hard earned money on booze and cigarettes. I'm sick of spending my hard earned calories on food that my body doesn't need.

    Thanks so much to everyone for the great advice. There have been some really great tips that I think will really help me. :drinker:
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