losing control

lilwashee

ok so here is the deal first off excuse the lack of punctuation and proper spelling.
as of hmm id say about a month ago ive lost complete control over myself,i reached my goal in may like i had set out to do and then it all back fired on me i had decided i would just stay at that weight for a while before trying to lose again ..bad choice i guess cuz next thing i know i was in that damn fridge all over again wanting to consume everything ..i even got into a smaller bathing suit and i still decided to throw that all away becuz stuffing my face feels soo damn good.ok so i totally know what i am doing i actually am studying to be a nutrition specialist and just got done reading the weight management part so i know im completly sabotaging myself as i watch the freakin scale go up ive officially gained back 5 of the 27 i had lost and i feel horrible no energy i do not feel good about myself and i have all kinds of negative feedback im giving myself.i honestly dont know how to pull myself out of this i did sooo well for 4 months straight and had it all in a row..the funny thing is my husband doesnt see me eating becuz hes at work and he told me this last weekend how great i looked and how much ive lost little does he know im gorging myself again and hiding candy bars when i go to the grocery store alone..omg i just want to scream and cry soo hard ..my mom was the perfect weight till she hit 30 and it went up from there shes over 100 pounds overweight and sometimes she would eat till she made herself sick ..wth am i doing to myself PLEASE A WORD OF ADVICE not a bashing but just someone out there please tell me u have been here and crawled back out of the pit???????

quietlywinning

You can do this. Take a deep breath - and throw away that candy bar. Make a decision each morning on how you are going to live your life and how you are going to eat today. Make a decision each HOUR if you need to. If you mess up, that is not a whole day gone, that is ONCE. Just make a new decision and get right back on track.

If you need help for an eating disorder, please seek out a specialist in that area and GO. It is okay. You can do that, too.

You are admitting your problem. That, they say, is the first step! Now take the next step. Only you know if the next step is to get professional help or if it is just to DECIDE how to spend the rest of your evening.

You can do this.

audram420

First off lets look at this in a positive light...you've only gained 5lbs of the 27 you've lost, right? You can get 5 lbs off in no time...so STOP feeling helpless and start taking control...ONLY YOU CAN CONTROL YOU...food and other people don't control you so YOU CAN DO IT!!

lunaephiliac

quit beating yourself up so bad! just keep on keeping track and focus on positive habits. instead of thinking about food all the time, find something fun to do that doesn't involve food. it can be exercise-try something new, like zumba or kickboxing!- or crafts or anything that helps you focus on something else. you do have control! you can do this!
I knnow it's hard not to obsess, especially when you think and talk about food all the time as a nutrition student. But remember how far you've come, and be proud of yourself. You don't have to worry about losing pounds right now, just focus on feeling great and doing something productive!

konerusp

Just plan your meals ahead, its simple...for an anology- if you prepare a shopping list and stick to it you spend less-same concept plan your meal- list out what you are going to eat the next day- keep your calorie limit in mind, say you are eating 1500 cals a day- if you binge on a candy- that cuts down ur lunch/ dinner- coz u dont wanna go over the calorie limit- and because u don wanna starve urself, you will automatically stick with good food(filling food) rather than candy, and lastly relax- stress makes the brain pick wrong foods, make sure you have ample rest,if you are having sweet cravings try sipping a hot cup of water everytime you have a craving- they will gradually go down.

CaptainMFP

First of all, remember that you're still 22 down so it's not like you're starting where you were. In a moment like this I think it's crucial to focus on a positive.

Second, it sounds like you have support at home. That's a second positive. The fact that he doesn't see a difference means that however frustrating the upward movement of the scale, it's not a problem yet.

Now the hard part. I'll tell you what I tell students in my classes every semester when they have a bad test. You have only failed at this point if you allow yourself to fail. The measure of your character is not determined by whether or not you stumble or struggle; the measure of your character is how you handle yourself AFTER you stumble. You are human; you will mess up at some point; we all do. But you are only defeated by this if you allow the stumble to determine your future behavior.

I am a stress eater, so I understand how you're feeling right now. I suspect a great number of people here have been where you are now, so know that you're not alone. Clearly when you started your weight loss journey you believed you were worth the time and effort. I don't see why that should have changed. You, your health, and your happiness are STILL worth the effort.

There is only one way to proceed as I see it. You acknowledge your stumble (you have done this, so YAY!) and you begin again. Whether it's one bad day, a binge, or an emotional tailspin, I see starting over as the best response. You got to this point successfully so I see no reason you can't just keep going. You can DO this! You are WORTH it! And if you doubt this at all, remember what you wrote...it sounds like someone who loves you definitely thinks you are!

rstoolmaker

hey there! first of all you lost a lot of wieght and no matter what you should be proud of yourself for that it's never easy and you toughed it out for four months so congrats on that now for the gorging i'm kinda doing the same right now like i'm only starting out and i lost three pounds then when i realized that i was moving into my residence hall in a few weeks and that it has a gym i can go to anytime i want so i got really lazy because i thought i would just make up for it like not just not working out but eating things i shouldn't and drinking things i shouldn't and i've just gotten to a point where i think i love junk food and soda so much that i don't want to change i just wanna deal with whatever my size is and eat food that makes me happy and dieting and working out don't sound appealing at all. I also hide food and soda from people like my boyfriend and my family and if any of them see me eating things i shouldn't i get REALLY defensive about it and now the three pounds i lost i gained two back =( not much but it was all i had. but the times when i think i'm ok with sacrificing everything just for the food i think of these things: 1) how does my body make me feel? (usually i say i hate my body and i'm completely uncomfortable with it) 2) what about all those pants and shirts that you used to fit into and want to wear again are you ok with giving those up? are you ok with wearing double digit sizes? (usually thats also a no) 3) are you confident don't you want to be happy? ( and no im not confident in my body, i am in my brains and other things but not my body, and duh i want to be happy) then finally 4) you really want to give up all of these things for food? And then i feel dumb and i pick myself up and i keep trying. so i guess whenever you find yourself at the fridge just remember all the reasons you started this journey and think " is this whatever more important to me than getting all of these other things that i want?" i hope that was enough to help i know its not easy and i don't think its ever going to be but thats part of what you should be proud of that you toughed it out you're stronger than the craving good luck

Pebble321

It's hard, but the only suggestion I have is to keep logging your food (even those candy bars) and celbrating every healthier choice that you are making.
I've had a month where I just can't seem to stop eating little bits of CRAP (ie candy) but I know that this is the hard point where I usually give up for good and accept that I'm just going to be fat forever.
This time I decided to keep doing all the stuff I was doing, even though I was eating junk as well.
I kept exercising, kept eating healthy meals (like you, I tend to indulge with candy bars at the shop or on the way home from work) and after a month I seem to be getting my willpower back. Not completely, but I'm definitley feeling as though I can say NO.
In fact at a meeting this morning I turned down a delicious looking cheese scone and had a strawberry instead. Hurray!
So, I say celebrate all the things you are doing right, keep doing those and hopefully those good habits are going to carry you through this difficult time.

lilwashee

THANK U EVERYONE WHO REPLIED , ALL YOUR WORDS WERE VERY HELPFUL TO ME ..SO I COULD SEE THE BIG PICTURE