Plato's Allegory of the Cave, aka my Christmas

Phoenixflame

This place has always been so helpful whenever I had questions or needed support. So I figure I'd post my most dreaded concern. Any advice would be wonderful.

Anybody remember Plato's Allegory of the Cave? Basically, a bunch of people are chained in a cave and only see shadows on the wall. But these shadows are truth to them. One of them gets free and sees the sun. He realizes the truth, and returns to the cave to tell all of his former friends. But they refuse to listen, seeing him as mad and deluded, and if they could have broken from their chains, they would have killed him.

Ok, melodramatic, but I can't help but think about it as I prepare to return home. I'm from Texas, home of fried food, huge portions, friendly people who want to make sure you're happy (hence extra sauce, bigger portions, etc.).

When it comes to restaurants, I know I'll be fine. Chains and whatnot. But I guess I'm concerned about my mother's house. My mom's a fantastic cook, and eager to lose weight herself. However, she comes from an old-fashioned southern home that does not understand the concept of not using butter and sugar. My stepfather is also a good cook, and from a farmer family (aka, eat a ton).

Thanksgiving was a teensy taste. My parents usually keep whole milk. I was like "eep!" when my mom went to pour milk into my coffee. I got a "God, it's not going to kill you!" By the end of the weekend, my mom was convinced I was starving myself because I was taking smaller portions than before I left for college, and saying no thanks to a white roll. I try to explain that I just watch what I eat but that I eat plenty, but she's not convinced.

At my dad's, my step mother is always buying random Whole Foods stuff, and my dad lets me buy whatever I want from the grocery, so it isn't a problem. However, we always ate out a lot, and my neighborhood has lots of little indie places.

Then, there's friends. I don't want them to think I have an eating disorder, but I don't know what to do when they chorus "OMG, SONIC!!!"

So I guess I'm a bit melancholy about going home for the holidays.
-sigh-

Phoenixflame

This place has always been so helpful whenever I had questions or needed support. So I figure I'd post my most dreaded concern. Any advice would be wonderful.

Anybody remember Plato's Allegory of the Cave? Basically, a bunch of people are chained in a cave and only see shadows on the wall. But these shadows are truth to them. One of them gets free and sees the sun. He realizes the truth, and returns to the cave to tell all of his former friends. But they refuse to listen, seeing him as mad and deluded, and if they could have broken from their chains, they would have killed him.

Ok, melodramatic, but I can't help but think about it as I prepare to return home. I'm from Texas, home of fried food, huge portions, friendly people who want to make sure you're happy (hence extra sauce, bigger portions, etc.).

When it comes to restaurants, I know I'll be fine. Chains and whatnot. But I guess I'm concerned about my mother's house. My mom's a fantastic cook, and eager to lose weight herself. However, she comes from an old-fashioned southern home that does not understand the concept of not using butter and sugar. My stepfather is also a good cook, and from a farmer family (aka, eat a ton).

Thanksgiving was a teensy taste. My parents usually keep whole milk. I was like "eep!" when my mom went to pour milk into my coffee. I got a "God, it's not going to kill you!" By the end of the weekend, my mom was convinced I was starving myself because I was taking smaller portions than before I left for college, and saying no thanks to a white roll. I try to explain that I just watch what I eat but that I eat plenty, but she's not convinced.

At my dad's, my step mother is always buying random Whole Foods stuff, and my dad lets me buy whatever I want from the grocery, so it isn't a problem. However, we always ate out a lot, and my neighborhood has lots of little indie places.

Then, there's friends. I don't want them to think I have an eating disorder, but I don't know what to do when they chorus "OMG, SONIC!!!"

So I guess I'm a bit melancholy about going home for the holidays.
-sigh-

AJCM

I enjoyed reading your post....

My advice would be to just do as you did at Thanskgiving - take the smaller portions, and don't make a big deal about it, unless someone asks specifically. It's hard to share your excitement about a diet/lifestyle change/ fitness plan when people don't want to hear it (this is not necessarily the case with you, but I met this type of road block when I first started on MFP and wanted to share it with the world).

On the other hand, I personally find that everyone in the world seems to be on and off diets, so it shouldn't be unusual for people to hear that someone is dieting, eating healthier, etc.

Good luck to you and happy holidays!
:flowerforyou:
Amanda

Phoenixflame

Oh, I'm not a diet imperialist. But like, my mom was asking me about it, so I was explaining what I did. She still wasn't convinced that I was eating enough. I was even laughing because I eat more frequently now than before (just tons tons tons healthier and in moderation). So I'm like "Mom! I literally eat all day long! I love food!"

But other than that, I don't share my dieting with the world. Which is funny, because if I see a film or read a book I really like, the rest of the universe will eventually hear about it.

What's also funny is that I feel a lot less awkward asking the chefs at my cafeteria what's in the food than asking my own parents. "Excuse me, is this soup cream based?" I guess it's because, if I start to feel uncomfortable, I can always say "I'm vegan!" since in San Francisco no one looks twice at it.

I guess it's just the inherent creepiness of looking down at a plate of homemade food I'm going to gobble down, thinking "Oh, yay, asparagus!" ... Then realizing that they are coated in butter.

Thanks for the support!

AJCM

Hahaha - you are a funny gal!

I think it is great to share our new lifestyle with the world, just have to be careful about the audience (I have one overweight cousin who does not appreciate hearing ANYTHING about it!). You look pretty slim already, btw!

Good luck to you - and happy holidays.
Oh, and San Fransisco.... I'm jealous up here in icy cold Toronto!
:flowerforyou:

AJCM

ooops! double post...

3babybeans

Can I join in the chorus of "OMG, Sonic!" We just got our first in this area. It is like the devil's playground. :grumble:

I hope that your parents & step-parents will be so overwhelmed with the holiday that they won't notice that you're eating smaller portions this time around. Or, since they all saw it on Thanksgiving, they've had a chance to get used to the idea & now they'll be ready for it & keep their darn comments to themselves. Just remember that you're doing it for YOU. Try to have a good time & let their comments rolls off of your back. Stick to your guns & have a happy time in TX!

Oh, and try not to get chained in that cave again. It sounds like hell.

chrissyh

Can I join in the chorus of "OMG, Sonic!" We just got our first in this area. It is like the devil's playground. :grumble:

We live across the street from sonic - and never go there. Guess that's a good thing.

At thanksgiving, I made a huge spread for 18 people, I had a small amount of everything but had a lot of food left on my plate as my stomach really is smaller than it use to be and I stop when I am full - well my step mom who always makes commentary about how much weight she's lost or what she's doing as if I was supposed to join her because I was fat - well here she turns around and says you didn't eat anything.

Well I ate enough and let it ride didn't say anything but it's funny when you're eating right your starving yourself but when you ate like I used to, I was a fat pig! All I care is I am happy with what I am doing for myself. When I am going to a bad food choice situation, I drink 16 oz of water before so I am not hungry but I'll still eat.

abs0830

I can understand where you're coming from. My dad always notices when I didn't eat much. My mom backs me up though. She said "Yep, she didn't eat that skin off the chicken, big whoop." BTW for some reason I've never eaten the skin from chicken, seems gross to me. Anyway, he'll also comment that I don't eat some "healthier" fare like cooked carrots, but they are covered in butter and I like the raw ones. So, try to stick to your guns, you're doing this for you...remember that!

arewethereyet

I have a friend. She is at least 100 pounds over weight. On meds for high BP, high Cholesterol, pre diabetic.

We are talking about my weight loss. She is making dinner.
She just cant understand WHY she is over weight.
She cooks each night, she makes all the food fresh. As she is telling me this she pulls out a pound of butter....not a stick.... a POUND... Ok
she continues with telling me she undstands why I gained 50 pounds because I dont cook and ate a lot of carry out.
Now as she is saying this she puts a stick of butter in the fresh green beans she just snapped and steamed
She mashes the peeled potatoes, adds 1 cup of whole milk, and you guessed it a stick of butter.
she lays out another stick of butter on the table
(I am :sick: cuz I am there for dinner!!!!)
I am wondering what the last stick of butter is for. She then places that stick in the microwave to melt and pours it over the rolls.

Of course at dinner she and her DH want to know how in the world I lost so much weight, and they tell me I look great! :brokenheart: How do I tell them....you are KILLING yourselves 1 stick at a time?!?

I cant because they know this already. It is easy to figure out.

I offered her the MFP web site.....not for her she says, she is doing fine.:flowerforyou:

Juliebean_1027

I can relate. I feel the same way when I'm around my friends. Any time we go out and I choose something healthier or pick something that you can't dip in ranch, they all have the same reaction. "Are you starving yourself?" or "Are you turning skinny on us?" No. I'm not starving myself or "turning skinny" I'm just avoiding the all-fried, all-the-time restaurants that I used to frequent. The best bit of advice that I can offer is this: Just do the best that YOU can do. If preparing your own food isn't an option then take smaller portions, drink TONS of water, and exercise. And if that doesn't work then I've just got this left to say... you won't be home forever. :flowerforyou:

AJCM

Just a side note.....

Did you guys hear on Oprah when a panel of experts discussing "The Secret", said, of being overweight and having overweight friends, "Get new friends".

Experts say that friends typically choose others who have similar habits, values, pass times, etc, and if you look at friend groups, they are typically similar in make up across various factors (diet, likes, musis choice, physical activity, etc).

Just something interesting to think about.....

At first I thought it was a horrible thing to say, and that, couple with reading this thread made me think about how my diet was not a big deal, in fact completely normal amoung my friend group, as everyone is slim (come to think of it, I've never eaten in a fast food restaurant with one of my friends, ever - it's always something healthy). I was losing baby weight, and I was the only one. They have all had babies, and all sort of dealt with the weight loss as they would paying a bill, just get it done. It was nice to come here to MFP to communicate with others who have other "issues" surrounding weight, like myself.

:flowerforyou: