What do you do when...

Options
2»

Replies

  • corpus_validum
    corpus_validum Posts: 292 Member
    Options
    Maybe they're practicing this theory: If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
  • shelbygeorge29
    shelbygeorge29 Posts: 263 Member
    Options
    My ex who I am living with for another month eats like crap and is 40 lbs overweight and doesn't exercise. (He also told me the other day how he was fit, at 5'9", 225 lbs with a HUGE gut . . . yeah right! But that's a whole other topic!)

    For him, eating and food are pleasurable, and sharing it with a loved love is showing love. Just like your grandmother that makes you that cheesecake you really love when you go to visit her, even though she knows you've been on a diet and are trying to lose weight. In addition to food = love to many, if they aren't educated on nutrition and how many calories are really in things, they'll often say/think, "One slice/serving/ etc. won't hurt . . ."

    It may not be out of malice, more a lack of awareness.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Options
    Seems to me like someone who cared about you wouldn't act like that.
    Sorry... Truth!

    I'm in total disagreement with you.

    I'm guessing pizza was a thing you did in the past, and lifestyle changes are hard for others to grasp.

    If you don't live with the BF than make your house/apt a junk food free zone, just don't let them bring it in. OR just make your own food, instead. Maybe make Friday night a pizza night, but make pizza together, way more fun for all involve! (not to mention better pizza). Set boundries and stick to your guns. You changed your lifestyle, not theirs.
  • Coltsman4ever
    Coltsman4ever Posts: 602 Member
    Options
    Seems to me like someone who cared about you wouldn't act like that.
    Sorry... Truth!

    I'm in total disagreement with you.

    I'm guessing pizza was a thing you did in the past, and lifestyle changes are hard for others to grasp.

    If you don't live with the BF than make your house/apt a junk food free zone, just don't let them bring it in. OR just make your own food, instead. Maybe make Friday night a pizza night, but make pizza together, way more fun for all involve! (not to mention better pizza). Set boundries and stick to your guns. You changed your lifestyle, not theirs.

    It's one thing to ask someone to eat with you. It's a whole other thing to badger them and guilt them into eating the food and especially when you have medical problems because of weight. It's inconsiderate to treat someone you care about in that manner.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Options
    It's one thing to ask someone to eat with you. It's a whole other thing to badger them and guilt them into eating the food and especially when you have medical problems because of weight. It's inconsiderate to treat someone you care about in that manner.

    It's totally ridiculous to blame one's lack of self control on her boyfriend.
  • ShrinkingNinja
    ShrinkingNinja Posts: 460 Member
    Options
    That's how I am. I have told them that if you ask repeatedly the answer is NOT going to change but you are going to piss me off and it does.

    But in the OP you mentioned that they keep on until you give in.... are you giving in to them?
  • Leslietheriot
    Leslietheriot Posts: 303 Member
    Options
    I have given in to their badgering and yes...that was my choice...and it was the wrong choice to make. And yes, when we got together almost 2 years ago, we shared our meals and it was "quality" time together. My weight gain was totally my fault. No one forced to put anything in my mouth. But now instead of sitting down and eating a meal together, we work opposite shifts because of the children and our time together mainly consist of doctor's visits. Sucks, but thats how it is. In his defense, I do understand why he wants me to sit and eat pizza and ice cream and whatever with him...it WAS enjoyable to us both when I was 35 pounds lighter. I am a sarcastic b*tch and I tend to be nasty with him when he brings home crap food. I was just looking for some suggestion that i had not tried. Thanks all.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Options
    When people nag me I tell them, "The answer is still No, and you are beginning to piss me off." Any one who knows me backs off..right now. I accompany this with my best seriously pissed off face. It took some practice, but has served me well.
    I quite like this approach. It's more fun. :-)
  • kmumansky
    kmumansky Posts: 119
    Options
    I dont have much suggestion for snacks but for meals what I do Is I plan a weekly dinner menu and I stick to it. Even if I get home and it's the very last thing I want to do, I force myself to cook and I'm always happy that I did instead of ordering a pizza.

    I always over cook so that My husband can eat as much as he wants and I only make interesting flavor filled recipes as I can't eat plain grilled chicken breast with plain brown rice and a side of steamed veggies...waaayyyy too bland for my taste buds. I still have to be diciplined to stick to the portion size that fits my calorie allowance. HOWEVER, my husband does try to watch what he eats as well, but he's 6'3 and 235 lbs and I'm 5'1 and 142 lbs trying to loose 20 lbs...our calorie needs are VERY different haha :)

    my favorite website for recipes is myrecipes.com and i make the cooking light magazine recipes. They have all the nutritional info on the recipes, but I've also been adding them to this site so that it's more accruating using the exact ingredients I use.
  • flutatious1
    flutatious1 Posts: 120 Member
    Options
    Perhaps your bf doesn't want you to succeed... is he overweight? Is he intimidated by your success? Or could he be insecure about u looking better and finding someone else? Just throwing that out there....
  • Leslietheriot
    Leslietheriot Posts: 303 Member
    Options
    Yes, he is overweight. He says that he wants to get in shape but he never goes to the gym with me. I DO feel like he is doing this on purpose. I have told him that before. I don't know. All I know is that from now on NO means NO. I'm putting my foot down.
  • flutatious1
    flutatious1 Posts: 120 Member
    Options
    I used to kind of be like him.... when my hubby would get motivated, I would completely shut down (as far as wanting to even try to lose weight). I don't know why I did it because it doesn't make a whole lot of sense! yeah, when he would be "good" about his eating, I would be bad, when he would go to the gym, I would sit and pout on the couch...I think probably because I was totally depressed and overwhelmed the amount of weight that I had to lose. I don't understand it.... but he could be feeling a little bit like that. If you try and are successful and he tries and isn't well, then he feels like a failure. It's always easier to just not try than it is to try and then fail.
    Push onward girl - get angry and forceful about it... call him on doing it on purpose...like you said, put your foot down!
    GL!

Categories