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57rainbows

If you aren't familiar with the musical that the title of this post references, you should go listen to it on YouTube or download the soundtrack

I struggled with depression for all my life, and a few years ago I went on anti-depressants for it, or "happy pills" as I lightheartedly like to refer to them. While taking happy pills (I tried five kinds over three years), I gained 20 lbs more than I'd ever weighed and had the two worst depressive episodes I'd ever experienced. During the first one I seriously considered dropping out of school because I thought I would fail all of my classes [I graduated magna cum laude, if that helps you know how loudly the depression was talking!], and during the second one I got involved with a loser, let him have my virginity, racked up a few thousand in debt, could barely get out of bed some days, didn't work half as much as I could have, and felt like trash.

I started back on an upwards trend, and as part of that I kicked the guy out of my life and committed to a summer job working full time as a nanny. I found an amazing guy whom I am now with. About a month or so ago, I ran out of happy pills, and for some reason or another decided just not to renew the prescription.

Stopping suddenly isn't the best way, btw. :-P Don't do that. Oh well.




Anyway, it's been over a month now, and I feel better than I ever have in my life. I was thinking today that I think I can honestly say I don't think I'm depressed right now. I've never said that before... if it wasn't major depressive disorder it was dysthymia (mild long lasting depression). To even *think* "I don't think I'm depressed right now" literally makes me cry. I didn't know if that would ever ever happen. I'm in love for the first time at 23, I just spent three hours working my bum off on the house on my day off, I have energy, I love working out.... I can't tell you what a blessing it is to not have to push through a mucky cloud of depression just to get through my day. Okay I'm stopping now; it's making me cry from relief and happiness.



The reason I even post this here is because I want you all to know that I think exercise, nutrition, and emphasizing the positive energy bringers in my life is what I can thank for all this. That, and the faithfulness of One who understands me better than any doctor ever could. I put positive people in my life and didn't spend so much of my own energy on negative people. I've been working out 3-5 times a week at the gym. I eat good food and limit nasty food.

I AM FREE.

Pandorian

Way to go!
Better eating may have something to do with it to, I really wish that they'd check the diet of all the kids they throw on ritalin and similar products. Some MAY need it, some may just need something they're not getting.
Glad you're clear of the pills too, I'm not a fan