Stressing over calories

WalkingGirl1985

Vent:

I always feel the need to stay under my calories all the time, and I believe its not healthy. I don't feel like I'm having a good enough time with my friends and their kids when we have a gathering, because im stressing over the calories. Tonight i went to a birthday party for my friends daughter who turned 1 today. I caved into cake/ice cream..if i resisted, then i would of fett kinda bummed because i missed out while everyone else is eating sweets. I shouldn't feel guilty I have a night to splurge with friends once in a whille, yet i do..

francena84

Splurging and going over your calories one day wont hurt you.. Just dont do it every single day

barbiex3

I feel like this site helped me develop habits that were leaning very strongly towards having an eating disorder. I was 3 pounds away from being underwieght on here, and I would exercise to burn off 1,000+ calories a day, and I would freak out if I ever went even close to being "over"....

If you are really concerned about it, TAKE A BREAK. After telling someone about my problem, I woke up the next day, and I realized that I am in control, and I am healthy. You don't want this to develop into a problem for you. I did not even allow myself to hang out with friends for 3 months because I was afraid of eating... You don't want too much of a good thing if you know what I mean... Losing weight is great, but when it becomes a life obsession, it can be deadly...

Perhaps just let lose for a few days... or just stop counting calories... =] !

konr

Well, you've lost 62lbs. I think you are allowed to take some days off.

Jenscan

I do this too. I am EXTREMELY hard on myself and a perfectionist, on everything in my life. I'm not that way with others though. You'll see a lot of cheerleading and encouragement from me on here. But when it comes to me, I refuse to give myself any slack at all. It all comes from my self-image, which is pretty bad. What I do is never good enough in my mind.

I went over by 380 last Friday night -- my goal is 1250 so that's a very high overage -- and became very upset and guilt-ridden over it for days. I over-exercised the next day to "undo the damage" and had a really low net too. I very much see going over my calorie goal as a failure.

To me, I'm such a perfectionist on myself (and, again, not others) that an overage of >50 is absolutely unacceptable for any reason. I think I've done this twice unintentionally since April and once intentionally. So, yes, I sympathize. I am unable to enjoy events with friends, eating out, or anything else because of the fear I'll go over my calorie limit and everyone will see how much of a big fat failure I truly am. It's hard. I just want to have a good time, but I feel I don't really deserve it. Fun and good food are for people that aren't losers like I am. Not really true, probably, but that's how I see it in my mind.

WalkingGirl1985

Yeah, I'm seeing a eating counselor, and find it very helpful. Whatever im feeling, just sit through it, relax, and move forward. Obsessing can lead to further problems. I normally don't stress too much, but I just had a birthday last week, and ended up celebrating it from Aug 11-14..so less then a week in recovery, i have a really bad eating day and its stressing me out.

chellaJKR

You are ME, lol. I bust my *kitten* all week and then feel shifty eyed and devious all weekend if I want to enjoy what everyone else has. I feel like crap if I don't get any, and I feel like crap if I go over my calories. I've learned here that what I do this upcoming week will absolutely negate my poor eating today, but it's hard to not feel guilty!!
I think I'm gonna think long and hard about what barbiex3 is saying, maybe you should too!

cm2two

Well, you've lost 62lbs. I think you are allowed to take some days off.

THIS all over the place

sc1572

It's ok...I feel this ALL the time. Even if my friends bring popcorn to movie nights, I don't allow myself any. And on special occassions, I always feel guilty regardless. Just remember that you are human, and everyone deserves a treat sometimes!

geekymom57

I'm a big proponent of having a little cake and a litle ice cream or whatever it is. Usually the minute I cut a slice in half someone chimes in and says "What a good idea! Can I have the other half?" And the beauty of a small portion to start is you can have seconds if you like it.

There are very few desserts that are actually so good that I want to eat the whole thing, so getting in the habit of having a small portion to start is a good way to avoid the awkwardness of being stuck with a giant piece of something that you don't even want to finish.

Initially, I, too, felt crappy if I went over my daily limit. But then I recalled the guidance I followed when my daughters were little--look at food intake over something more than 1 day, and don't obsess over each and every day. This isn't a test, we're not passing/failing based on a daily intake--it's a long process and these are all tools to help us learn better ways of living.

claire_xox

I completely agree with this, but even if I decide to take a break I know enough about the regular foods I eat to know roughly the calories and fat and sugars in them. So even when I don't log I still stress about my 400 calorie cheese toastie or whatever!

Kassielin13

No need to stress! I am certain you deserve one day of splurging! Just wake up tomorrow with the attitude and determination to work your butt off and get rid of those extra calories!

milaxx

The best way not to beat yourself up is to plan for it. If I know I'm going to a party like that, I eat extra light during the day so that I can safely enjoy a small slice of cake and scoop of ice cream. It's figuring out how to plan and incorporate these types of events into your life that will make this a lifestyle change and not a diet. After all, this isn't the last birthday party you'll attend or the last event where there will be cake and ice cream.

kristlynngirl

I do this too. A lot of times if I know I'm going to go out to eat or out with friends I eat light the rest of the day, but other times --- like when I get stuck late at work --- it can be tough and I end up eating junk.

ninerbuff

Can't say this enough. People who are "paranoid" about eating all the time and do "mental jumping jacks" on each and every meal, are MORE than likely going to gain the weight back because one cave in could literally be deemed as failure.

LIFE IS TO SHORT to worry about a petty matter. As long as you don't do it daily or every other day, you can eat foods you like. Ask most of the "skinny" people here who are successful............................they all pretty much have food that they cave to in moderation.

KHaverstick

Sounds like you're on the right track with taking to someone about your anxiety.

One thing that I think is worth mentioning is that sometimes eating more calories can actually be a very good thing for your metabolism. Eating more will actually speed up your metabolism. This is a common method that people use to break through a weight loss plateau. And if you're getting the proper amount and kinds of exercise (aerobic + strength, not too much, not too little), you should have nothing to worry about. So sometimes those little splurges can actually be helpful!

The other comment I have is that I could NOT live the rest of my life not ever having foods that I enjoy, especially in social situations. I will not give up Mexican food. I will not give up chocolate or ice cream. I will not give up things I love. Rather, I will fit them into my life in a healthy way. I feel like denying myself would only cause me to burn out, and that would be counterproductive.

I know that it is easy for all of us to say, "don't worry about it," but to you it might feel impossible to stop stressing about it. I hope that you can work through your anxiety about it--best of luck with that! :flowerforyou: