Any takers for this course?

chilli

BECOMING A MAN
- TWO YEAR DEGREE COURSE
TWO YEAR DEGREE COURSE
A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be
interested in:
Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too, can be a
real man as well as earn an MA degree. (Male Arts)
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
MEN 101: Combating Stupidity
MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103: PMS-Learn To Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Under Things
for Christmas

Winter Schedule:
MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn’t End with Conception
EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A: What’s Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:
MEN 120: How NOT to Act like an *kitten* when you’re
Wrong
MEN 121: Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122: YOU, The Weaker Sex
MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers
SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule:
SE#X 101: You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SE#X 102: Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower
SE#X 103: How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 201: How To Put the Toilet Seat Down
(Elective) (See Electives Below)
Winter Schedule:
MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212: You, Too, Can be a Designated Driver
MEN 213: Honest, You Don’t Look Like Brad Pitt
MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are
Important

Spring Schedule:
MEN 220: Omitting %&*!@ from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket after Farting Is NOT Necessary
MEN 222: Real Men Ask For Directions
MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important II
Course Electives:
EAT 102: Cooking with Tofu
EAT 103: Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231: Mothers-In-Law
MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233: Just Say “Yes, Dear”
ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her

Just a thought for all the women out there.
1 MENtal Illness
2 MENstrual cramps
3 MENtal breakdown
4 MENopause
5 GUYnocologist (poetic spelling)
Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?
Send this to all women you know (and men with a sense of humour) and brighten up
their day!!…. and when we have real trouble, it’s a HISterectomy

chilli

BECOMING A MAN
- TWO YEAR DEGREE COURSE
TWO YEAR DEGREE COURSE
A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of you should be
interested in:
Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too, can be a
real man as well as earn an MA degree. (Male Arts)
Please take a moment to look over the program outline.
FIRST YEAR
Autumn Schedule:
MEN 101: Combating Stupidity
MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework
MEN 103: PMS-Learn To Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Under Things
for Christmas

Winter Schedule:
MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am
MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn’t End with Conception
EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook
EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II
ECON 001A: What’s Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:
MEN 120: How NOT to Act like an *kitten* when you’re
Wrong
MEN 121: Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122: YOU, The Weaker Sex
MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers
ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers
SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule:
SE#X 101: You CAN Fall Asleep without It
SE#X 102: Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower
SE#X 103: How to Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 201: How To Put the Toilet Seat Down
(Elective) (See Electives Below)
Winter Schedule:
MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children
MEN 212: You, Too, Can be a Designated Driver
MEN 213: Honest, You Don’t Look Like Brad Pitt
MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are
Important

Spring Schedule:
MEN 220: Omitting %&*!@ from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket after Farting Is NOT Necessary
MEN 222: Real Men Ask For Directions
MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important II
Course Electives:
EAT 102: Cooking with Tofu
EAT 103: Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly
MEN 231: Mothers-In-Law
MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening
MEN 233: Just Say “Yes, Dear”
ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her

Just a thought for all the women out there.
1 MENtal Illness
2 MENstrual cramps
3 MENtal breakdown
4 MENopause
5 GUYnocologist (poetic spelling)
Ever notice how all of women’s problems start with men?
Send this to all women you know (and men with a sense of humour) and brighten up
their day!!…. and when we have real trouble, it’s a HISterectomy

plantlady99

Love it. I am signing my husband up for a few of the courses.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

TamTastic

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:

chilli

Would there be a Maximus interested in doing this by the way? Just a thought ...:laugh:

MissGorgeous

it REALLY is cheaper to keep her.
guys forget that when you get divorced/seperated
but trust me ill take him to the cleaners
give me hell and a sucky marriage
and expect for us to just walk away scotch free
no way
im no gold digger but after a sucky marriage
its deserved!

hahaha

may_marie

i am SURE my bf could get a scholarship for that ....

GTOgirl1969

My guy could teach the course on fluffing the covers after a fart:laugh: I want to sign him up for the housework course, and "Parenting...It doesn't end with conception".:laugh:

jamerz3294

Sorry ladies, but since none of the above classes have any men signing up, the Dean has decided to close the college. Guess us guys just get all that good knowledge from genetics? Or maybe just from adjusting our packages in public... just to annoy you wimmens *chuckle* :drinker: :laugh: :bigsmile:

calatibo

The Man Rules

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'the rules' From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note..These are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER ONE

1. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT NEED DIRECTIONS and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A COLOR. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT;

But did you know, men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

GTOgirl1969

The Man Rules

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'the rules' From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note..These are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the OTHER ONE

1. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT NEED DIRECTIONS and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A COLOR. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about, unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT;

But did you know, men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

:laugh:

LightenUp_Caro

hahahaa i love how they're all the #1 Rule.

_John_

imma go create an equally sexist thread with women the butt of the joke and see how long it lasts....wish me luck..

(And this zombie thread's survival proves that sexism against men is always more tolerated than the reverse).