Living with my boyfriend is making me fat!

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  • Sassacas
    Sassacas Posts: 1
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    Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth!! Living with your boyfriend=being fat. That's the truth. I went from having a strict diet of no dairy, no red meat, and no fried foods, to grabbing a pizza and watching a movie on the couch!!

    Here's what I did:
    I started buying food separately and eating separately. Granted not very romantic, however you need to break the cycle of eating the same things because you two have very different goals. He's a grown man, he should be able to cook for himself.

    Don't try to accommodate each others schedules. My boyfriend and I go to separate gyms at different times of the day. We don't work out together, but we DO workout. Plus it gives you some alone time. When I started, it made me a little sad, but I soon got over it because I started liking having the time to myself.

    Do stuff together. We started going on walks at night, instead of watching T.V. We go hiking on the weekends. Look for things that are active that you can do together.

    I've lost 20 lbs in 2 months

    Good luck!!
  • jpatrickwinstead
    jpatrickwinstead Posts: 43
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    My gf and I belong to the same gym, but we don't try to work out together. If our schedules line up, then great, we'll go together now and then. But we're both busy and just fit it in when we can.

    How's that guy expect to gain weight if he's not exercising? Or rather, how does he expect to gain muscle instead of fat?
  • alisonwww
    alisonwww Posts: 104
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    Sounds like my husband! Our dinner conversation is usually what's for dinner tomorrow!
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
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    Ugh, I had that problem. All he wanted was hamburger helper and icecream! Then I decided to cook better food and tell him if he didn't want/like it to make his own. He's not a very good cook so he usually ate what I made, haha.
  • whateverr120
    whateverr120 Posts: 37
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    these are awesome responses!
  • futurefitgirl88
    futurefitgirl88 Posts: 284
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    me and my boyfriend live together! we usually eat when i cook, if he is cooking then i usually do not eat it...or eat it in TIny portions and eat something else after. he does take outs ALL the time....whereas I do not at all. I grab a subway when he orders indian and so on!!
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    When you're bored you should have sex. Everybody wins in this scenario - your scale, his muscles, your grocery bill and your relationship.

    Aaaaand GO!
    Yes, but can I log this as exercise?
  • aliciarenee79
    aliciarenee79 Posts: 35 Member
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    I have gained since living with my, now, husband. I think I had somehow gotten it into my head that I could eat the same amount as him. I would make a main dish and just divide it in half.
  • futurefitgirl88
    futurefitgirl88 Posts: 284
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    When you're bored you should have sex. Everybody wins in this scenario - your scale, his muscles, your grocery bill and your relationship.

    Aaaaand GO!
    Yes, but can I log this as exercise?

    i swear I'm tempted to wear my HR monitor sometimes loll! why not right??? :P
  • brittanyjeanxo
    brittanyjeanxo Posts: 1,831 Member
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    I live with my boyfriend as well. He is no good at cooking, so I do all of that. He's also not trying to lose weight, and, though he's supportive, he's also picky and wouldn't try any of the foods I eat now *rolls eyes.* So when I cook dinner, I just cook a healthier option for myself. For instance, tonight's dinner is chicken parm, and instead of frying my chicken and slathering it with cheese (though I'd love to) I just bake mine and sprinkle a little bit of cheese over it afterwards, and I don't have as much pasta as he does. When we do something like empanadas, instead of frying mine, I roll the shells out really thin, add some veggies (frozen peas and corn) to the leftover meat, and bake it instead of frying :) There's usually a healthier option to everything, even if it's just smaller portions :) If you want, you can add me as a friend and you can tell me what you plan on having, and I'll help you figure out a better option. I'm pretty good at it if I do say so myself. Also, I don't know if anyone has said this because I didn't read the replies, but I feel by saying living with your boyfriend is making you fat, you're blaming him. Just remember that while the situation might not have been ideal, it's no one else's fault you've gained weight.
  • Fochizzy
    Fochizzy Posts: 505 Member
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    Portion control. I am a big fan of eating everything in moderation. We bought a second set of bowls. He gets the normal sized bowl, I get the ice-cream sized bowl. He gets the 12 inch plate I get the 8 inch plate. I am losing weight and he is not. Works well and doesn't get rid of the time together.
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
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    I live with my boyfriend and most of what we buy and eat we do so separately. We do not usually eat the same foods. He also doesn't cook, so because I get to do the cooking (when we do share meals), I get to pick the food I'm going to cook. If he doesn't like it, then too bad-- he can eat something else and I'll have the leftovers. You have to make this journey about you. If you set healthy eating habits and make good-tasting, healthy meals, you might be able to be the one setting the example. My boyfriend has changed some of his eating habits just based on things I've had him try or had around the house. If he wants to eat the unhealthy snacks, then he should be buying them himself. You should not have to feel forced to buy or eat something that interferes with your goals.
  • fendeb
    fendeb Posts: 31
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    first things first...you are already a "little hottie", do not think for a moment you are not. Okay that being said here are a few suggestions: 1) do not make separate meals, you are not a short order cook. What you cook will be healthy & tasty & no one should have any complaints, after all you made the effort to cook right. 2) if the person (s) you are feeding do not like what you fix they can fix thier own meal. 3) If your boyfriend needs to gain some weight thats okay he can gain weight by eating healthy, just eat a larger portion..problem solved. 4) exercise...you may not want to exercise together, this maybe a time where you just focus on yourself. Besides he or you may not like the same exercises; you might want to do a trial run & see if you are both happy about the arrangement. If not, go when it is convient for you...early a.m. before work, lunch, or after work.. 5) whatever exercise you plan to do, just do it when you can, do not make it so hard that you give up. If one day you start @ 6:00am another day @ 5:00 pm who cares as long as you are there.6) remember you are in control of your life and health that is most important, Just make the best choices you can day to day. If on a day it does not go well, it is okay there is always the next meal the next day. We are all here for you & cheer your successes!! However we all need to own our actions whether they be good or not so great.
  • em1976
    em1976 Posts: 119 Member
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    My partner and I generally cook together with meals.One to 2 nights a week he can eat what he likes,the rest its meals ive organized as healthy is good for both of us.We adjust the portion sizes for both of us,him alot,mine weighed etc.Has taken me a fair few months for him to understand how important my health is to me and although we had some initial hurdles its much better.He sneaks his take out food into another room,I find it sweet but pointless as the dog tells me when hes got it.I make him dinner alot(as its the easiest way to open him up to new tastes),and also shakes here and there but im very careful to never tell him exactly what goes into the shakes as hed refuse to eat them.Its all down to compromise I think.In regards to exercise time.I use mine as my private time,its time for us to be apart,relax and enjoy ourselves for a little.On the other hand I often ask him to come for walks with me,I find he wont volunteer but if i say,'id like you to come' he will.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    What the heck kind of guy would fight about having to make his own food?
  • whateverr120
    whateverr120 Posts: 37
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    lol....i guess a guy that REALLY likes having things cooked for him....i guess hes used to it, but he definately knows how to cook for himself if he had to. I have an ex who couldnt even heat up a can of soup.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    lol....i guess a guy that REALLY likes having things cooked for him....i guess hes used to it, but he definately knows how to cook for himself if he had to. I have an ex who couldnt even heat up a can of soup.

    And a guy who won't cook for himself is not a guy to keep around. I don't care if I can do laundry on his six pack, he's not dating me if he won't cook his own food voluntarily.

    And, no situation or person is responsible for what you eat or do other than you. Your eating habits changed when you started cohabitating with your boyfriend, now you need to get back into a healthier groove.
  • Nolynoelia20
    Nolynoelia20 Posts: 57
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    When you're bored you should have sex. Everybody wins in this scenario - your scale, his muscles, your grocery bill and your relationship.

    Aaaaand GO!
    Yes, but can I log this as exercise?

    i swear I'm tempted to wear my HR monitor sometimes loll! why not right??? :P
    I always wonder how much I burn lmao
  • taurie
    taurie Posts: 225 Member
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    What I've been doing is to take my portion of the protein, a very small amount of the side dish and load up on the veggies and/or salad. It looks like I'm eating the same meal but I'm eating a lot less calories.

    ETA: Since my husband doesn't like it when I eat "weird" (ie. low carb), this has helped to keep the peace at home while I still see results on the scale.

    Talk him into going for a walk with you a few nights each week. It doesn't have to be fast paced and you can hold hands while you do.

    This was so great thanks! I'm definately comming to realize I CAN lose weight and keep the boyfriend too lol!

    I've found this works for me too. We cook together so I can weigh everything and I also use a smaller plate which helps. Sometimes if I can't weigh my food I use my hands as portion guides.

    protein = size and thickness of palm
    carbs/starchy veg = one handful
    non starchy veg = two handfuls

    We always plan our dinners in the morning or the night before so I know roughly how many calories I need to save for my evening meal.
  • roxyjo1
    roxyjo1 Posts: 29
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    I can relate. Luckily, my bf isnt too picky & I love to cook. I try to stay away from starchy sides (mac & cheese, potatoes etc) and fried foods as much as possible. I do sautee a lot with a T. of margarine & olive oil. I did have to ease him into veges with cheese sauce at first, now I just season & use a little margarine & he hasn't seemed to notice. We eat a lot of zuccini, mushrooms, onion, california medley, & steamed broccoli, boneless skinless chicken breast, & tilapia. He thinks he has to have something sweet after every meal so I get the fun size candy bars or we split (60/40) an ice cream sandwich.

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