Break-up on the horizon...

nekosimba
nekosimba Posts: 239 Member
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
So my boyfriend and I have been drifting apart lately and I have a feeling a break-up is inevitable. I do care for him deeply, but there are things that he needs to change that I don't think he can or wants to.

So right now, I'm awfully depressed and my comfort is food and sleep. I need some support so I don't go to McDonald's after work and buy out the place.

Replies

  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    hrmmm.... have you talked to him if you have a "feeling" about things?
  • Katiemarie4488
    Katiemarie4488 Posts: 242 Member
    Just the thought of McDonalds upsets my stomch... your heart is upset..... dont upset the tummy too!! lol

    Think of what that greezy food will do to your stomach, esp since you have been eating healthy!

    NOTHING tastes as good, and being skinny feels....

    Buy your self a pair of Sexy shoes, so he can remember watching you walk away
  • NyxDominique
    NyxDominique Posts: 271 Member
    Have you tried excerising workout like kick boxing or another high intensity stress reliever.

    You might think I am crazy take the 8 bucks you were going to use on MCD go to walmart look at the excerise videos and grab one that will help you fight the problems physically.

    Excerising will wear you out and make you feel better!!
  • bms34b
    bms34b Posts: 401 Member
    Girl, you got this. If you follow your gut, you can't go wrong. Breaking up and getting rid of a relationship that really isn't good for you is a step in the right direction - and though it's emotional, eating poorly and treating your body poorly is going completely the wrong direction. Focus not on the break-up, but on the positive changes that YOU are making for yourself. You're stronger than you think, and now is the time to prove it to yourself. It will be hard, but anything worth anything in life doesn't come easy. Do what's right for you, be it ending a relationship or eating healthily. Do it all!!!
  • nekosimba
    nekosimba Posts: 239 Member
    hrmmm.... have you talked to him if you have a "feeling" about things?

    We've discussed his need to change quite a few times. I've told him how I feel after he does/doesn't do something or says something inappropriate. My family also doesn't care for him, so that puts a lot of strain on me as well because I am close to them.
  • hooma
    hooma Posts: 124 Member
    That must be hard...try going to the gym instead! Getting your endorphins flowing will make you feel better and you'll be doings something productive. Whether you stay with your boyfriend or break up, good luck and I hope you are able to do the best thing for you!
  • Just think of how much worse you'll feel after you eat the Mcpukes. I know that whenever I was emotionally eating, I would just feel worse about things after binging.
  • CatMauro
    CatMauro Posts: 225 Member
    It sucks when a relationship reaches that point where you both either hike up your socks and try to fight through it or cut your losses and bid each other farewell but wouldn't it be great if no matter what happens you knew that you were going to be the best, healthiest version of your self you can be? My recommendation: go to the gym, get a massage, have a nice long nap and a nice healthy lunch out with some gfs. You'll feel so good about the whole day that even the thought of McGarbage will make you ill.
  • some one once told me to to talk it out and not chew it out and that really helped me i just kept saying it over an over
  • aset132
    aset132 Posts: 91
    Buy your self a pair of Sexy shoes, so he can remember watching you walk away
    [/quote]

    I like this idea!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    So my boyfriend and I have been drifting apart lately and I have a feeling a break-up is inevitable. I do care for him deeply, but there are things that he needs to change that I don't think he can or wants to.

    So right now, I'm awfully depressed and my comfort is food and sleep. I need some support so I don't go to McDonald's after work and buy out the place.


    Look at it this way is McDonalds REALLY going to make you feel better,or just feel worse in the long run?
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    Go get a small veggie sammie and take a long walk before you go home. NO MCDONALDS FOR YOU>
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    So my boyfriend and I have been drifting apart lately and I have a feeling a break-up is inevitable. I do care for him deeply, but there are things that he needs to change that I don't think he can or wants to.

    So right now, I'm awfully depressed and my comfort is food and sleep. I need some support so I don't go to McDonald's after work and buy out the place.


    Look at it this way is McDonalds REALLY going to make you feel better,or just feel worse in the long run?

    TADA!

    And, to be honest, it sounds like you know this is for the best? Move on and be the best you can for YOU :)
  • Benji49
    Benji49 Posts: 419 Member
    Maybe you should take a long walk and look at why you think you're drifting apart - and then talk to him about it. I notice on your list of inspirations that he is one of them! Try and remember why that was and what's changed.

    Relationships are not easy - like anything worth having you have to want it and be willing to work at it.
    The grass is not greener on the other side - it's the same old grass just viewed from a different angle.

    Maybe he is feeling you drift away from him and just doesn't know how to deal with it - any more than you do.

    Whatever you decide to do - McD's is not the answer!
  • Don't eat McDonalds!!! Eat up some friendship here!!!! You're on a journey forward, don't look back unless it's to see how far you've come... and like Katiemarie said... McD's, the mere thought of it upsets my stomach too!

    Don't throw it all away for uncertainty...
  • katkins3
    katkins3 Posts: 1,359 Member
    Break ups are hard its true. And the lure of comfort food calls. Sadly, giving in to the temptation is seldom as comforting as promised. Then you have the double whammy of calories you didn't want and mad at yourself for eating them. Believe me, food won't make it better
    The fact that you reached out and posted this is positive though! You want to resist and I hope you draw strength from your fellow MFP's. You can resist....:wink:
  • KayaSamantha
    KayaSamantha Posts: 157 Member
    I know how hard this must be for you having to balance rational decisions about food choices with emotional decisions about your relationship. You are moving forward with your life and making healthy choices in all areas is important! Going to McDonald's would be a step backwards. If you can think of ONE item that is UNDER 200 calories that is a treat that you can't stop thinking about I would get it and enjoy every last bit! You can and will make it through this and will feel a million times better not eating mcdonalds! Good Luck and remember we are here for you!
  • nekosimba
    nekosimba Posts: 239 Member
    I just want to thank everyone for their support and kind words. I'm hoping we can work through some things...but right now it's his decision whether or not he wants to change....if not, he goes.

    I'm making changes in my life to make myself feel better about myself. I want to be healthy in all aspects in my life, both physically and emotionally.

    I am very happy to have great friends on MFP! Thank you!
  • H2Ologist
    H2Ologist Posts: 122 Member
    I am a strong believer in communication. If you can both sit down and talk calmly about what is going on it will make you feel better. The most important thing is that you both get a chance to say what you are feeling. He may not be happy either and if you talk about what is going on, then there is less likely to be a big blow out and resentment and a possible binge at MickyDs. He may also feel the end is near and this way you can both walk away feeling like adults.

    In the mean time, grab a nap and have a piece of fruit instead!
  • em1976
    em1976 Posts: 119 Member
    Im so going to sound like my mum here:)Some things are meant to be,she is a firm believer in everything we do if we take positive lessons from it then that is a step towards being healthy and most importantly happy.Turning around perhaps 5 to 10 maybe more years down the track and saying 'okay,i knew this should have ended but I didn't do it' is not somewhere any of us wish to be.You know what you DON'T want right?so strive for what you do,exercise your heart out and look to your family for support.

    We are (in my opinion) only given what we are able to handle.Being strong,remaining positive and most importantly focusing on yourself will get you through this.On the flipside your mr right may be just around the corner,you may bypass him because your with the wrong guy;early days i know but our confidence/positivity in ourselves is found in times like this.If he cant/wont change or at least acknowledge there needs to be changes and you aren't happy then find the strength within yourself to be positive and start the process of separating yourself from him.If he values you once your gone perhaps there may be a future never know.

    I moved to another country to be with someone I knew would make me happy.Scared me to death to do it.You never know what you are truly capable of until you look toward the impossible;)
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    I found the recipe for a perfect marriage. Seperate houses.
  • MrBrown72
    MrBrown72 Posts: 407 Member
    hrmmm.... have you talked to him if you have a "feeling" about things?

    We've discussed his need to change quite a few times. I've told him how I feel after he does/doesn't do something or says something inappropriate. My family also doesn't care for him, so that puts a lot of strain on me as well because I am close to them.

    So, I just have to ask, has he suddenly started doing these "things" or is it something that has been a part of his nature all along that you felt he would change because of his association with you?

    If it is new, it has a source. Instead of just addressing the new issue, try to find out what is causing it. Perhaps he is acting out for a reason?

    If it is what he as always done, why would he want to change? this is the him you started dating and expecting someone to change for you is just plain silly. Even if he did, he'd resent you for making him change and using his affection for you to cause it to happen is just emotional blackmail.
  • kcrojas630
    kcrojas630 Posts: 145 Member
    I say break up with him and move on. Your family doesn't like him, and they are probably the best people to judge who's good for you. Then, I like what a poster said about getting a good video to do at home, instead of McDonald's. Just my 2 cents.
  • ashlielinn
    ashlielinn Posts: 920
    No guy is worth your health or goals! Besides, you'll need to be hot for all the rebounds ;)
This discussion has been closed.