What Do You Think About Parental Favoritism?

EDesq

Recently I relocated and am staying a while with My Sister (call her Doris). She has 5 kids and they are wonderful kids. I began to notice that one (the second from the youngest, he is 10 yrs old, call him Tom) was treated much different from the others. He also was disrespectful to Me twice, she was told this and gave him a "lecture." The other kids began to tell Me over time how Tom gets anything he asks for, and that how if they really want something they ask Tom to ask for it and Doris will say yes to him. They have told Me many other stories about this favoritism. Everything centers around Tom; he gets all the praise though he does NOTHING, and is not good at anything that I can see.


I began to notice that the oldest boy (13 yrs old, call him Dave), does everything that is asked of him and more, he's bright and is a "Tinkerer" and wants to be an engineer one day. I have "taken" to him. I notice that Dave never gets encouragement from Doris, nor affection, and in Doris' eyes Dave is a "Bad" kid... I have also noticed that Dave is "angry," he tries to express himself but doesn't really understand whats happening to him. I could go on but I won't, suffice it to say that My Brothers and My Other Sister and her Husband has told Me that Doris had better watch out for Tom (because he is sooo spoiled and disrespectful, that one day he is going to "turn" on her.)


I told Doris about her favoritism for Tom and she denied it. Recently, Me and Doris had some negative words about the favoritism and there is a strain on our relationship. I said some things I should not have but frankly, I SEE what it is doing to the other kids and especially Dave. I just find Myself not interacting with her or the kids the way I used to. I Love My Sister Doris and am appreciative for staying in her home until I get on my feet but frankly, I find Myself angry also, because I know the emotional and psychological effects this OVERT Favoritism (it is not subtle favoritism) will have on ALL of the Kids Lives. Even the Youngest child (who is mentally challenged) does not get the attention, privileges and affection that Tom gets.


What do you think? I am feeling bad about the strain on Me and My Sister's relationship and the effect on the Kids (including Tom.)