discouraged, scared, advice?

beekerton

I am afraid of starting and failing again. The last 5 years I have really become a food addict/binge eater. I don't know how to maintain. I am either actively working towards losing weight, or actively working against it. No middle ground.

I have had 5 children and gained over 100 lbs in the last 13 years.

I am super unhappy with my appearance. My self esteem is suffering. I am a different person.

I want this more than anything, but every time I fail is that much less I trust myself.

I don't know if I should cut out "bad" foods, or learn to eat them in moderation. (like I said, I don't have much of a middle ground) I am not good at moderation.

Anyhow, I am done having babies. I am ready to try again. I don't have many excuses, my husband is very supportive, my children are getting older and I should be able to fit in exercise, I have an awesome workout room in my basement. My biggest problem is myself!

Any advise for a really strong start? For getting over emotional eating issues? For really doing it t his time?

dayzeerock

Do you have an OA (Overeaters Anonymous) in your area? I know this is EXTREMELY helpful for many people with true food addictions.

Dolphingirlie81

Sometimes you have to fail to succeed. As for the emotional eating. You have to figure out what causing the emotional eating , address the problem and thne you will be able to control. I wish you good luck! Feel free to add me.

luvgreen25

Don't set yourself up for failure. Take small steps for the better and make them things that you can actually live with. Don't set your expectations so high that it's unrealistic. If you don't exercise right now, try to take a 5 minute walk after dinner. Or even start smaller than that, if you work - park one row further from the door. Once you start seeing positive improvements, that will be motivation to do more. Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like. Good luck and we'll be here to help you through.

atucker_mom

For me it has worked best to not call anything "off limits". I eat the things I want to eat, and I attempt to make the best possible choices. Every good choice I make takes me that much closer to my goal. I also realize that I will have bad days, when I completely FAIL at making good choices, and I just start fresh the next day. Everyday it's a choice- To eat better ( not always perfect, cause I am a horrible eater), to get up and move, and to drink water. I would suggest making small changes and as you master those changes (hit your goal most days, for an extended amount of time), then add new changes. You can't go from eating 4,000 - 5,000 calories of junk food, sitting on the couch all day long (like me) to 1200 calories and 60 minutes at a gym everyday. It's too much at one time, and you are just setting yourself up to fail. You can do this! Just stay positive and take it one day at a time. Feel free to friend me, we can encourage each other along the way

VickiMitkins

I can't give you advice on this specific issue. I do know that if you never try, you won't succed and every successful person has failed many times.

tauny78

Add friends on here. My friends have really helped me stay motivated. The only thing I really have to do is be HONEST! I'm honest with myself and my friends in my food diary; I log EVERYTHING! I know they are going to look at it, and that makes me accountable. And when you feel you want to eat for the sake of eating (whether you're bored, or stressed or depressed), get on here and cruise the message boards, or message some friends. It has helped me SO much! I have always been an emotional eater, and in the past 2 months, I've only given in maybe twice! My entire life style has changed, and I've made it more about being healthy than just weight loss, which has helped I think. And the suggestion to find an Over Eaters Anonymous is great. Getting together with others who understand what you're going through would probably help a lot. But that's why I love this site so much! I have a few wonderful friends that I can turn to when I need them. Just don't give up! No matter what. If you have a bad day or week, just come back over and over and find some motivation here! Good luck on your journey (and that's exactly what this is!) and feel free to add me! We can motivate and support each other!

MadDogTannen22

Ugghh, I hear you!!! I have been doing well (but with extreme effort) for the past month or so, and had a terrible weekend. It was like I knew what I was doing, but I couldn't stop! On Friday morning, I told myself I was going to have a cheat night, and it just didn't stop. I do not have drug or alcohol problems, but can almost understand what it is like, it is as if I thought I could have one meal and then stop. I have realized this weekend I am going to have to hang in there and act like an addict, because I think I am. I saw on someone else's page this quote "nothing tastes as good as looking sexy" and I really liked it. I will just have to remember it when tempted, instead of justifying my addict behavior. Please feel free to add me!

jenfotovat

Im super bad at binge eating too. I also just eat..well, just because..lol. I don't know how to control yet when "im full". One thing about this site is you can eat WHAT ever you want..just just have to stay within your calorie range. I've tried weight watchers..Michael Thurmonds.., Adkins..you name it. For each one, I "COULD" have done it..but I always feel they are diets..and I always fail. With MFP I eat, and immeditely track my totals. That way I know how many calories I have for the rest of the day. I have a habit of eating sweets late at night, so I make sure to keep alittle extra calories for my after dinner ice cream sand...lol. I started MFP last monday at 299lbs..NEVER did I ever think I would ever get up to that..but I did. So far I've lost 8 1/2 pounds...which isn't alot for someone my size (I hate saying that), but its a start, and honestly I don't feel like Ive changed too much except I count EVERYTHING, and make sure I stay within my calorie range. You can do it..this site is honestly the best site I've ever seen..they a HUGE food dictionary, and even have most generic brands in their system! Just start tracking and try to drink your water..it really fills you up. Good luck dear! YOU CAN DO IT!! Its honestly not that hard on here!! Its fun in a way!! Im almost 300 lbs..and Im saying counting calories is FUN!

jrice816

I have heard and now found that learning to eat those "bad foods" in moderation is the best. Everytime I have done a diet that cuts so much food out, I find myself craving them all the time and when I break down and eat those foods, I go overboard. Then I just give up the diet. By using myfitnesspal and allowing myself the occasional snickers bar or pizza buffett, I have been able to lose a good amount of weight over the last two weeks and I don't even feel like I am dieting. Allowing yourself to treats is better than trying to cut them out completely and then when you break you get hard on yourself and give up. I had just about given up completely on losing weight, but now I am glad that I didn't. You Can Do It!

jmruef

I am a huge fan of lists. They're concrete, visible, and you can make copies to put up all over the place so you're constantly reminded of them.

In this case, maybe try a Pros/Cons list. How would you benefit by getting healthy and losing weight? What would be negative about staying at your current weight and fitness level? Include the effects on your family, too.

Can you make it a family affair? How do you think your family could help you do this? What is/isn't helpful? Get them on board and make them your in person support team! (Hey, look, another list! ) I don't know how old your kids are, but can they help with meal planning/prep? Get them involved in picking healthy foods. Go for family walks...who knows, they could turn into family jogs!

Best of luck to you. It's hard to learn new habits, but it's possible. It really is.

SueInAz

I don't know if I should cut out "bad" foods, or learn to eat them in moderation. (like I said, I don't have much of a middle ground) I am not good at moderation.

If you know that you are not good at moderation, then I wouldn't suggest that you try to eat bad foods in moderation. However, it's also not easy to just quit junk food "cold turkey", either. As others have said, it's really best to start with small changes and work your way slowly into the big ones. You'll find that, at first, even the small changes will have a big impact on your weight loss. As time goes on, the impact is smaller but by then you've hopefully seen enough success to keep making changes to achieve the next stage of your journey.

So, start small. Start by making sure you drink 8 eight ounce glasses of water every day. Water, not pop, not tea, water. You should try to start limiting your sugared drink intake as fast as you can. Cut down by one or two a week if you can't cut them out entirely. Drinking calories will add up faster than anything else. (My husband lost 10 pounds in a month simply by switching from Coke to Diet Coke about a decade ago.)

At the same time, log your food intake every day. You don't need to change what you're eating yet, although you should definitely be trying to stay within your caloric goal as set by MFP. Remember, if you eat a whole package of Cheetos, you will log the WHOLE package of Cheetos. No cheating! Seeing the caloric impact of your food choices should help you to make better choices down the road.

The next week, try to incorporate a short walk into your daily routine. 30 minutes, if you can, less if you can't walk that far yet. No running, just walking. Since you probably have your activity level set to Sedentary, log your walk time in MFP, which will give you a few more calories to eat that day. Over time, the walking will get easier, so add more time as you can.

Each week afterward, try to make another small change. Trade the chips you eat at lunch for some baby carrots or celery. Have an apple as a treat instead of something that comes in a wrapper. Have a popsicle instead of a bowl of ice cream. These little changes will add up to a big impact on your overall caloric intake each day.

beekerton

Thanks to everyone who is so nice to comment here on my post. I really need encouragement to get started. I think once I have some results and have the motivation and momentum to keep going things will get easier, I just really want to get a strong start because I think it will help keep me motivated.!