opinions on pregnancy and nutrition/an excuse to get fat?

keola64

Ok so as a parent of four children,married going on 14yrs,I despise when pregnant women use pregnant as an excuse to get fat,as far as doctors & nutrition experts say you should gain only baby weight & the fluids that go with it.that being said I'm do irritated that my sister in law ripped me a new a hole when I tried to help her as she is a member of mfp,she said I cat use it I'm pregnant! Well she has 2 children and has gained over 120 pounds from her 1st child till now and still going,she has no concern for diabetes,and is a HEAVY SMOKER,so I give up ,her kids have health problems and she doesn't think it possible she contributed/contributes,to the cause,am I just an add or am I just trying to be a good friend/brother in-law?,she was after all the 1 who originally came to my for help. I am not trying to be insensitive,I have supported my wife through 4 pregnancies,I know that even though its supposed to be pretty much only baby weight that is gained,there is a leeway for some extra body weight gain,but when a child is born 8 pounds,the water and placenta are out to be yet 80 pounds heavier after birth is not healthy. So how does some 1 get through ,I've come to the conclusion that its up to them to realize the truth & facts ,gain knowledge and stop justifying there bad habits. Thanks & aloha Keola

jiggs31

I would be interested in opinions regarding getting healthy before getting pregnant.

I am currently trying to get back to my previous weight before I start trying.
Some people have said 'why bother? you'll only gain it again' but I don't want to, I want to gain the correct amount so then I have a good base to lose it again afterwards.

If anyone has any advice on this, I would be happy to hear it.

Thanks

fuhrmeister

I have never been pregnant but i have been trying for years. I have done a lot of reserach and at my current size 212lbs I shoudl only gain about 15-20 lbs when I gdo get pregnant. 8lbs being the baby another 8 being the fluids and plecenta and a few lbs to spare. I plan to stay on MFP if I do get pregnant to make sure i am feeding the baby the best I can and stayign as healthy as I can to have a good birthexperence and to take care of teh baby after it arrives. But as far as gettign your SIL to listen..that is tought all you can do is presernt her wth teh option she has to have the light bulb go off in her head before the weight loss will happen. Keep beign as supportive as possible I hoep she comes around.

jlc1243

As someone who vowed never to gain a ton of weight while pregnant, in fact I worked out the very day I found out I was pregnant! But, with low energy, (so much so in the beginning) and everyone (I mean EVERYONE) telling you you are eating for two, I found it impossible not to gain weight. Sure, it was only my doing, but it can be very hard. Emotions kick in too. You feel fat, so might as well be fat! I gained the most toward the end and also while I was on maternity leave (and while slightly overweight when I got pregnant, I was still very active)...it became increasingly hard to find the time for yourself and the engery.

It does sounds like you are coming from a good place, but it might be best to back off a little. Don't want to mess with a pregnant woman Hopefully, she'll come around not only for herself, but for her kids. Sometimes it just clicks! Maybe your wife can give her a little guidance without coming across too pushy?

danewton

You can only give her the information. It is up to her doctor to tell her how much she should gain. If she was overweight before the pregnancy, her weight gain should be less than average. I have had three children - you do gain some fat because you may not be able to exercise throughout the pregnancy or, let's face it, those cravings are killer! But after they were born, I lost the weight that was gained. Her children's doctor should be telling her that they need a better diet and exercise. Now that you have given her the info you just have to wait and be there for her when she is ready. By the way, you can let her know that she can use this site to keep track during her pregnancy - it will let her know that she is getting adequate nutrition for her and the baby!

fuhrmeister

I would be interested in opinions regarding getting healthy before getting pregnant.

I am currently trying to get back to my previous weight before I start trying.
Some people have said 'why bother? you'll only gain it again' but I don't want to, I want to gain the correct amount so then I have a good base to lose it again afterwards.

If anyone has any advice on this, I would be happy to hear it.

Thanks

I think you have to do what's best for you. i am still tryign to get pregnant at 212 lbs. (I'm 30 hubby is 41...for us teh tiem is now)But I am also trying to lose weight. Once i find that I am pregnant i will work with my dr. to only gain the necessary amount while pregnant..then continue on MFP durriingand after pregnancy to be the healthiest me. Best of luck to you!

jlc1243

I would be interested in opinions regarding getting healthy before getting pregnant.

I am currently trying to get back to my previous weight before I start trying.
Some people have said 'why bother? you'll only gain it again' but I don't want to, I want to gain the correct amount so then I have a good base to lose it again afterwards.

If anyone has any advice on this, I would be happy to hear it.

Thanks

DO IT! Get healthy and start the good habits now, it only gets harder. And if you do gain a little bit more than you "should" you'll have less to work off after the fact.

rml_16

I say when you have the babies, you can judge.

NiciS72

I have never been pregnant, but that said I can offer up some professional advice that I received. I asked my OBGYN about getting pregnant while watching my calories. She said it's not a problem. I'd only need to add around 200-400 calories a day to compensate and that I could keep eating the way I am (she also has a weight loss practice and I see her there for my diet).

I also have a couple of friends who were larger when they got pregnant who did just that, and while pregnant really didn't gain much if any and then after birth weighed less than before they got pregnant.

heathersmilez

I say when you have the babies, you can judge.

Normally I would agree with this but when he mentioned she gained 120 lbs with 1 child and is a heavy smoker and as a result her kids have health problems she disgusts me as a human being. Sorry, no tips on how to cure idiocy and ignorance.

Lleldiranne

There are a LOT of pregnant women who are on MFP (we fill up 2 threads here! lol). It's true that you shouldn't lose weight when pregnant, and it's important to gain an appropriate amount of weight (depending on where you were when you started), but that doesn't mean we're eating for 2 adults. If someone starts out at a healthy weight, she should gain 25-35 lbs on average. That's baby, placenta, fluids, extra fat (to help support pregnancy and nursing) and increased tissue for nursing. Some women are very careful and end up gaining more, especially if they have GD, pre-E, or excessive fluid retention, but generally not excessive (80 pounds.... wow.... I don't think that's normal or healthy for mom or baby!) and the "ideal" amount is adjusted up or down if mom-to-be is under or overweight.

A pregnant woman only needs about 300 calories more a day, and usually not until the 2nd trimester (after 13 weeks pregnant). She can still do almost any exercise she did before, and swimming and walking are generally okay to add in if not done before. There is little reason for a woman to sit on her rear and eat junk all day (unless following doctor's orders for easy rest/bed rest, but still needs to eat healthy!!) But I have to admit, there are days where getting my kids up and off to school and getting a few chores done feels like a complete workout (and I don't do much else some of those days...)

As far as your SIL, sadly people often don't really want advice when they ask. They want someone to tell them that what they are doing is fine. Add that to all the moodiness that pregnancy hormones bring on (no, it's not a myth, we find ourselves crying at the dumbest things, or throwing a fit at something that would normally not affect us), and it's a recipe for disaster. If she asks/brings it up again, I would ask her if she really wants your opinion or advice. Be gentle giving it to her ... mostly, but the smoking thing drives me NUTS! ... Since you said she's a MFP member, refer her to the discussion boards: Pregnancy - August 2011 or Fit, Fabulous, and Pregnant - August 2011. (They change with the month, so next month they will be September 2011). She'll probably like the first better, the 2nd is women who are a lot more focused on staying quite active and fit during pregnancy, while the 1st is more general support in maintaining a healthy pregnancy.

rml_16

I say when you have the babies, you can judge.

Normally I would agree with this but when he mentioned she gained 120 lbs with 1 child and is a heavy smoker and as a result her kids have health problems she disgusts me as a human being. Sorry, no tips on how to cure idiocy and ignorance.

Agreed. But he married her and knocked her up knowing all of this.

agthorn

I say when you have the babies, you can judge.

Normally I would agree with this but when he mentioned she gained 120 lbs with 1 child and is a heavy smoker and as a result her kids have health problems she disgusts me as a human being. Sorry, no tips on how to cure idiocy and ignorance.

Agreed. But he married her and knocked her up knowing all of this.

Um, no, he's talking about his sister-in-law, not his wife.

RedBone03

First off let me say that I truly agree with you.. Im currently pregnant with my first baby (5 months in and all belly).. And upon finding out that i was pregnant, i was a bit discouraged, (a little background) one thing with me, is that for the longest in life I have always been active in sports in high school and through out college.. Well after some years i began to put on some weight here and there, and found myself at my heaviest ever (170 lbs) I was like.... WOOOOO, are you kidding me.. So as for me that was my wake up call, and I was able to lose 20 lbs within 3 months time..
Upon joinging MFP, i was glad to be able to have friends and people on my side to help encourage me and motivate me.. By logging my food, although a few days i may have slipped but it was a steppping stone to help me see what I've eaten, and also to help me make better decisions next time. This past march when i found out i was pregnant, i was happy, shocked, surprise, overjoyed all in one.. I have a fear of getting "fat".. for some reason.. And when i would tell peolpe that, they would respond to me saying "well you need to get over that, you have to now eat for two"... and i was like yeah, but that doesnt mean that i can just eat whatever , whenever i want too... Most people tend to think that just because they are pregnant they can eat whatever.. and that is not the case.. Your choices must be healthy and we must eat those extra 300 calories.. Although it may seem like alot, they go Quickly.... lol

Your doctor will tell you appromiately how much weight you should gain during your pregnancy, some weight gain is healthy but too much can cause problems and put you at a high risk for many complications..
Being that this is not her first child, you would think that she would know better and take steps to having a healthy baby and pregnancy. One thing i can encourage you to do with her is to get out and exercise.. that way its something.. Just dont give up on her, continue to play your role and do all you can...

rml_16

I say when you have the babies, you can judge.

Normally I would agree with this but when he mentioned she gained 120 lbs with 1 child and is a heavy smoker and as a result her kids have health problems she disgusts me as a human being. Sorry, no tips on how to cure idiocy and ignorance.

Agreed. But he married her and knocked her up knowing all of this.

Um, no, he's talking about his sister-in-law, not his wife.

Sorry. I couldn't get past the man who has never been pregnant trying to dictate to a woman about how to handle it so I didn't read thoroughly. But knowing this little tidbit makes it even worse. It's none of his business.

Rae6503

It's such a sensitive area. Is she pregnant again? Maybe get her some books on the subject, a yoga video for pregnant ladies and that's pretty much all you can do.

However, I also cringe a little when I see pregnant women getting too worried about getting fat. Just eat "normal", healthy when you can but don't obsess over fat, don't eat "diet foods". Workout when and if you can but give yourself some slack, being pregnant is hard and energy is scarce. Give yourself a full year to lose the weight. Don't be frustrated by the stories of other moms whose weight just "falls off". Don't try too hard to lose while nursing. Baby comes first. The weight will come off eventually when you get to a point where you can really focus on it (no longer nursing and baby is sleeping through the night, etc).

Benji49

You sound like you really care about the health and well being of your sister in law and nieces/nephews!

My advice to you would be to not push it - just be there when they need a loving uncle because quite frankly everyone and I mean everyone - strangers included - seem to think that a pregnant woman is open season for advice and criticism. Pregnancy is a lot to deal with in itself - hormones, body changes, cravings, a live person crawling around inside of you kicking the crap out of your kidneys at 2 am! It can be the best time of your life and the scariest all at the same time. I've been pregnant 3 times and each pregnancy was totally different.

You have to let her learn the hard way and just be there when you're needed. She is your SIL not your wife and If you push too hard you'll push yourself right out of their lives.

calliope_music

i am personally trying to lose as much weight as i can before i get pregnant as my dr. told me that it would be better for both me and the baby. she also told me that if i were to get pregnant at my weight the most i would want to put on is 10 lbs. i've got a few years though, so i know i can do it!

i'm not sure there is too much you can really do in this situation. maybe talk to your brother and encourage him in helping his wife out? maybe you can provide him with some information that he can in turn bring to his wife.

AlyRoseNYC

My opinion is that hormones play a large part in many aspects of pregnancy. Ever see a pregnant womant cry over something completely trivial? Makes no sense, right? Well, neither does eating six Twinkies a day. The good thing is that weight can come off.

I'd be more concerned about something that can leave a permanent consequence for the child, like drinking and smoking while pregnant.

millionsofpeaches

I find your response to be quite interesting -- I.E. since you are male and you seem to have a healthy conscious.

You can't change people... If a woman wants to gain 120 lbs when they get pregnant then they will. I can imagine that large of a weight gain will come with a bunch of health problems.

My husband and I are currently trying for our first child. I plan on using MFP when I get pregnant to monitor my food intake and to add calories in the most healthful way. I have read about it and about 300 calories more than what you normally eat each day is recommended. Gaining weight while pregnant is necessary... I believe anywhere from 20-30 lbs would be considered a normal healthy weight gain. I personally just want to be as healthy as I can be for the baby and for me.

rml_16

i am personally trying to lose as much weight as i can before i get pregnant as my dr. told me that it would be better for both me and the baby. she also told me that if i were to get pregnant at my weight the most i would want to put on is 10 lbs. i've got a few years though, so i know i can do it!

i'm not sure there is too much you can really do in this situation. maybe talk to your brother and encourage him in helping his wife out? maybe you can provide him with some information that he can in turn bring to his wife.

Let me share my experience (and keep in mind that my daughter will be 17 next month and my weight problem didn't start until 5 years ago).

The first month I was pregnant, I was a bottomless pit. I have never felt hunger like that in my life -- before or since. I felt so sick if I didn't eat constantly and NOTHING filled me up. I gained 10 pounds.

Then month 2 started. And that's when the "morning" sickness started. I put that in quotes because it's 24/7, not just in the morning. I was still starving constantly, but everything I ate came back up until I ended up dropping 20 pounds. I weighed 102 pounds (5'3") through my sixth month. The morning sickness never went away, but I finally figured out what foods triggered it most, which were anything with any acid level at all -- ALL fruits, many vegetables and even water. I ate what I could keep down, which was a lot of pasta, oil, cheese and soda (and I am NOT a soda drinker). Even the doctor was telling me to eat candy bars just for the calories so I wouldn't end up in the hospital.

Meanwhile, even when not getting sick. I walked around constantly feeling like I had a stomach bug. I was in decent shape, but walking one city block caused side cramps so bad I ended up doubled over. Yeah, there wasn't going to be any exercise going on ...

From month 7 until I delivered, I shot up 53 pounds.

Yep. Pregnancy was my "excuse" to get fat and eat crap.

I realize there are a lot of issues with this woman, but until this man (whose business I still say this is NOT) walks a mile in her shoes, he can't possibly know what she's experiencing during her pregnancies.