A little bit of a wake up call

Vanessa414
Vanessa414 Posts: 644
edited September 19 in Motivation and Support
Earlier this year I had lost 20 lbs and I've gained 32 since then and lately I've just been feeling really down about the whole thing.

None of my clothes fit me anymore and I just feel really... unattractive. I think that because of this, I started dressing really bad, just jeans and a big baggy sweatshirt - EVERY DAY... I never did anything with my hair, just put it in a pony tail (and a messy one at that), didn't wear make up... I've been doing that for about 3 months now.

Well, this morning I woke up early for some reason and decided that since I had the time I'd try to find some decent clothes that fit me and that turned into doing my make up and then to doing my hair and my boyfriend looked at me and he was like "what, do you have a date today or something" and then he went on to fidgiting with my buttons telling me my shirt was too low and then he just wouldn't get away from me and I was like "what is your problem!!?!" and he looked at me and said:

"It's just that... you're so pretty when you try."

And at that moment, it hit me: I'm sabotaging myself. By not taking care of myself, I'm just making myself feel worse. That goes for both the appearance and the weight loss. I kinda took a second and looked at myself and for once, saw me the way other people saw me when I was dressing like that and how much it could be hindering me in so many ways. I walk past a mirror and go "Oh gross". At least if I was dressing decently it wouldnt be anywhere near as bad.

Does anyone know what I mean?

I don't have many clothes anymore that fit me because of my weight gain, but I really think I need to make a concerted effort to try harder every day to make myself feel good. People have been commenting all day on my hair, etc. It feels awesome!! And I also sorta feel bad for my poor boyfriend... coming home every day to that mess. Lol.

Well, this is another new start for me. Along with this weight loss and life change thing, I need to do alot more things to make myself feel good.

Anyway, I just wanted to tell that story because it hit me so hard.

Thanks for reading! :flowerforyou:

Replies

  • Earlier this year I had lost 20 lbs and I've gained 32 since then and lately I've just been feeling really down about the whole thing.

    None of my clothes fit me anymore and I just feel really... unattractive. I think that because of this, I started dressing really bad, just jeans and a big baggy sweatshirt - EVERY DAY... I never did anything with my hair, just put it in a pony tail (and a messy one at that), didn't wear make up... I've been doing that for about 3 months now.

    Well, this morning I woke up early for some reason and decided that since I had the time I'd try to find some decent clothes that fit me and that turned into doing my make up and then to doing my hair and my boyfriend looked at me and he was like "what, do you have a date today or something" and then he went on to fidgiting with my buttons telling me my shirt was too low and then he just wouldn't get away from me and I was like "what is your problem!!?!" and he looked at me and said:

    "It's just that... you're so pretty when you try."

    And at that moment, it hit me: I'm sabotaging myself. By not taking care of myself, I'm just making myself feel worse. That goes for both the appearance and the weight loss. I kinda took a second and looked at myself and for once, saw me the way other people saw me when I was dressing like that and how much it could be hindering me in so many ways. I walk past a mirror and go "Oh gross". At least if I was dressing decently it wouldnt be anywhere near as bad.

    Does anyone know what I mean?

    I don't have many clothes anymore that fit me because of my weight gain, but I really think I need to make a concerted effort to try harder every day to make myself feel good. People have been commenting all day on my hair, etc. It feels awesome!! And I also sorta feel bad for my poor boyfriend... coming home every day to that mess. Lol.

    Well, this is another new start for me. Along with this weight loss and life change thing, I need to do alot more things to make myself feel good.

    Anyway, I just wanted to tell that story because it hit me so hard.

    Thanks for reading! :flowerforyou:
  • kistinbee
    kistinbee Posts: 3,688 Member
    Honey...I feel ya! I was in the same boat a while ago. Dressed in things that were loose..."comfy clothes" as I would call them. I did this for a long time and was so down on myself ALL the time! My poor husband (boyfriend at the time) did whatever he could to make me feel better...but nothing really worked. It wasn't until I started working out regularly that I started feeling better about myself. And now I work in a job where I don't have to dress up, but I DO...EVERY day! And I feel SO much better about myself and have SO much more self-confidence! It's what keeps me trekking on this journey to a happier and healthier me! I have faith that you will do the same thing, and continue feeling good about who you are...EVERY single inch!!!

    Good luck!!!:flowerforyou:
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    Girl, put on those clothes and do your make up and hair. Look in the mirror and feel beautiful.
    Work out, eat right. Start feeling more beautiful every day. Get in control of this. You are on your way to a whole new you, a happier and healthier you. :flowerforyou:
  • kimmerlyjo
    kimmerlyjo Posts: 134 Member
    I actually went through the exact same thing a few years back. My husband was gone so much that i quit caring until one of my friends moved in to help me with the kiddos. well she was one of those that always did herself up even if we were just hanging out at the house that day. shortly after i started following suit and suddenly i started feeling better about me! i started seeing myself the way everyone else did and what was even more amazing is i started to easily loose some of the weight without even trying.

    When i go back now and see myself in some of those pictures prior to taking care of me it breaks my heart. i ask my husband how he even stayed with me and he just shakes his head and says i knew you were in there somewhere but you needed to be ready to come out on your own... "he's a pretty cool guy!)
  • Hey, are you spying on me? :laugh: I've been doing the same thing, especially after my son was born it just was easier to wear pajamas/sweats all day and sometimes I didn't even shower...yeah. I feel so much better about myself when I actually wear "nice" clothes... not like, really nice, but normally I wear a men's T-shirt and jeans. So what I did was I went on a massive purge of my closet. I got rid of the clothes that I resort to when I feel fat (except for 1 or 2), and I kept clothes that are feminine and make me look nice and feel better about myself. I don't have a lot of clothes now that will fit my body so it motivates me to lose weight so I can fit into my good shirts again! And I went from having a closet stuffed FULL to having maybe 10 shirts, which is really nice for me. I have 8 garbage bags full of shirts waiting to be donated! It feels great.

    So anyway, I hear ya. In the middle of it myself. And there are definitely days where I just don't want to deal with it and put a hoodie on, but now that I only have the shirts in my closet that I really like those days are becoming fewer and fewer.

    Unless I forget to do the laundry :laugh:
  • age1389
    age1389 Posts: 1,160 Member
    That's awesome to hear:drinker: I'm so happy your feeling better and back on track. How have you been doing with your calories and eating after dinner?
    BTW you are very pretty:flowerforyou:




    -Adrienne:heart:
  • I know exactly what you mean. It was so much easier to just throw them on then try to fit in my nicer clothes. So I stopped trying and gained weight along with it. Elastic pants do that for you. then my friend gave me a bunch of clothes that she got too small for. I just felt better in them. Like a person again. So I bought me some new winter shirts, she only had summer. Between that and this site I'm down 13 pounds. I can't even where the pants she gave me. They are some expensive jeans too. Congrats to you!
This discussion has been closed.