I dont think I can make it :-(

Hanna1983

I joined this site in November after having tried Weightwatchers Online which cost a fortune and didn’t work. So for a month I really stuck to the calories and didn’t even touch chocolate or fries. I dropped 5lbs, from 167.5 to 162.5 lbs. I jumped with joy like a little child when I saw the numbers on my scale that morning.

But somehow I feel as if my will power seems to have gone.
The following weekend I went to Pizza Express with my boyfriend and not only did I have a starter and high calorie pizza, I also had a desert. I weighed myself the next day and had gained 1.5lbs! :sad:

I was so upset about it. So this weekend I did not weigh myself because I was too worried to see my weight gone up further and didn’t want to be de-motivated by the scale. I was supposed to be 161lbs last Saturday with my Mini Goals. But I didn’t want to step on the scale, I knew I had not reached the 161lbs goal.

This week I have eaten so healthily for breakfast and lunch also, but in the evenings after dinner I have got weak and have eaten an awful lot of chocolate. I am due to weigh myself again this Saturday morning and I am terrified. I don’t know what to do if it shows again that I am 164lbs again or even more! I am so upset. I thought I had finally got it into my head to eat healthily and change my habits, but it seems that is not the case.
Before I met my current boyfriend I was in an awful relationship for 3 years and the only “treat” I could give myself was food. It’s a too long story to explain the why and how, but basically since then I have gained 3 stone at my heaviest and now have this idea in my head that eating a massive Mars bar is a treat, when really deep down I know it is anything but. In moderation it may be OK, but not every day obviously.

I don’t know what to do. I see so many MFP members that have lost the weight, some of them even double of what I aim to lose, and I look at their before and after pictures and think “I will never manage it”.

4 years ago I was slim and used to work out regularly. I don’t know where that person has gone.
I don’t understand how back then I used to love going to the gym and now I have to push myself every time to actually take the sports bag and go.

This morning I planned to go to the gym tonight after work, but already now I am trying to find excuses for not having to go. I don’t understand why my motivation only lasted a month, and even though I saw great results I lost the motivation and have given into eating bad foods again.

I feel like I will stay ugly and chubby and will never be able to look into the mirror one day and think “I did it and I look great!”.

:sad:

Hanna1983

I joined this site in November after having tried Weightwatchers Online which cost a fortune and didn’t work. So for a month I really stuck to the calories and didn’t even touch chocolate or fries. I dropped 5lbs, from 167.5 to 162.5 lbs. I jumped with joy like a little child when I saw the numbers on my scale that morning.

But somehow I feel as if my will power seems to have gone.
The following weekend I went to Pizza Express with my boyfriend and not only did I have a starter and high calorie pizza, I also had a desert. I weighed myself the next day and had gained 1.5lbs! :sad:

I was so upset about it. So this weekend I did not weigh myself because I was too worried to see my weight gone up further and didn’t want to be de-motivated by the scale. I was supposed to be 161lbs last Saturday with my Mini Goals. But I didn’t want to step on the scale, I knew I had not reached the 161lbs goal.

This week I have eaten so healthily for breakfast and lunch also, but in the evenings after dinner I have got weak and have eaten an awful lot of chocolate. I am due to weigh myself again this Saturday morning and I am terrified. I don’t know what to do if it shows again that I am 164lbs again or even more! I am so upset. I thought I had finally got it into my head to eat healthily and change my habits, but it seems that is not the case.
Before I met my current boyfriend I was in an awful relationship for 3 years and the only “treat” I could give myself was food. It’s a too long story to explain the why and how, but basically since then I have gained 3 stone at my heaviest and now have this idea in my head that eating a massive Mars bar is a treat, when really deep down I know it is anything but. In moderation it may be OK, but not every day obviously.

I don’t know what to do. I see so many MFP members that have lost the weight, some of them even double of what I aim to lose, and I look at their before and after pictures and think “I will never manage it”.

4 years ago I was slim and used to work out regularly. I don’t know where that person has gone.
I don’t understand how back then I used to love going to the gym and now I have to push myself every time to actually take the sports bag and go.

This morning I planned to go to the gym tonight after work, but already now I am trying to find excuses for not having to go. I don’t understand why my motivation only lasted a month, and even though I saw great results I lost the motivation and have given into eating bad foods again.

I feel like I will stay ugly and chubby and will never be able to look into the mirror one day and think “I did it and I look great!”.

:sad:

rabbitsteele

you're doing good, don't beat yourself up! I just joined this site (my doc recommended), and really like how it's easy to fill in stuff and get immediate feedback. I had to laugh at myself yesterday; it was "holiday luncheon" AND "company dinner" day at my hubby and my workplaces, so at the end of the day my feedback was [paraphrased]: "if every day were like today, you'd weigh 300 pounds in a week!"

I'm sure you've heard it all before, but losing 4 pounds in a month is going the right direction. 10 years ago I never thought I'd weigh this much, but gaining even a pound a month adds up eventually...

Too, it's not all about the weight, there's energy, health, happiness as well, maybe those can be additional motivators.

Hanna1983

I know what you mean, of course 4lbs a month is the right way, i.e. 1lbs per week. but at this slow rate it is even more upsetting if, of 5lbs that took such an effort to lose, 1 lb is back on within a matter of a few days. :frown:

I have got several motivators. I want to wear a bikini in April in Florida, I want to fit back into my jodhpurs as I promised I would treat myself and take up horse riding again once I got back to my old weight and the old fotos I have from when I was 126lbs. I dont know what else I need in order to stop myself giving up again all the time. :ohwell:

gonezobean

I’ve been apart of this for almost a year. I know what you're feeling. There are days you can conquer the world and days the world conquers you. I think in all honesty, you need to be realistic. Start simple. For example, go to the gym 4 times a week for 45 mins. Or save dessert for one night a week (on other nights have a pure fruit bar, popcorn with cinnamon and splenda if you’re obsessed with sweets like me). What worked for me was setting small goals like when I’m at a restaurant I’ll eat only ½ my meal. See that’s usually when fill up so why continue eating. Slowly your habits will change and a new habit will form. I have good days and bad days still. I have days where the emotions and pressures of life destroy my will to be healthy but since I have changed my lifestyle its ok to have a rough day. You can do this because you want this. :happy:

modernfemme

I think, especially around the holidays, it makes it even more difficult to hang on to that will power that got you interested in the first place. I'm going through the same thing!! The other day I had a piece of pepperoni pizza (fast food) and scarfed half a bag of chips!!

Things that are really helping me get back on track are healthy dinners that excite me. Tonight I'm having a grilled chicken over spring salad with a nice organic salad dressing, and it's almost like my body is starving for something healthy again.

What's been difficult for me is lunch.

keiko

Hanna, you can do this! But remember you are at the beginning of your journey. Along the way there will be many bumps, parties, holidays, days you just overeat. Don't let them discourage you. Wake up the next day and start over. You, like all of us will be doing this forever. It's not a diet we can do for a month or whatever and stop. It is how we are going to chose to live our lives. Most days trying to eat healthy but knowing it won't happen everyday.

On the chocolate thing. Don't deprive yourself. It only leads to wanting it more. Try to find something you like and add it into your daily calories. For me it's dark chocolate kisses. I make an allowance in my calories so I can eat them. After doing this for over a year now there are alot of days I don't even eat them. But I know that I can if I want to. It has really helped me to get that craving under control without feeling like I had to not touch the chocolate.

I know how hard it is to start exercising again but I think after you start seeing results you're movtivation will be stronger. I am trying to start doing pilates again regularly because when I am doing it I feel so good. Why did I stop, I don't know but now I need to get back into the routine.

If you quit now you will only gain more and feel worse.
Keep working towards your goal, I know you will make it and will encourage others on the way!

ischmelle

If the scale is de-motivating, try not using it for a month. I know a couple of weight loss programs that won't LET you weigh in for the first 30 days for that reason, it's simply defeating when you are first starting. After 30 days, then get back on the scale and see what it says. But, if you are sticking to your exercising and calories, you'll be able to feel the difference long before that 30 days is up. You'll be waiting to jump on that scale and show it who is boss! :happy:

And I know you mentioned that you were sticking to you calories, but I do want to emphasize as well how vital it is to remain active. I really try to do at least 30 minutes of cardio a week. Nothing impressive, but I make sure that I am getting my heart rate up (on the elliptical at the very least). Last night, I ate McDonald's on my way home from our Christmas party because it had been so long since they had served dinner and me and my co-worker were starving. It was all that was open, I was so hungry, and I ate an ENTIRE meal, which I haven't done in so long. But, I got on the scale this morning thinking the worst and it actually showed a loss of 1/2 since I weighed in 3 days ago.

So, hang in there. Sometimes the scale is up, sometimes the scale is down. The body is an amazing thing and we just never quite know what it is doing at any one particular moment. The important thing is how you feel, both on the in and outside.

mimielle

Would it be possible to start horse back riding now instead of using it as a treat? I've heard from other riders that it is a good workout and you need to have a lot of leg strength to do it. Why don't you check how much exercies you would get from it?

Losing weight for me finally clicked once I started to do activities I really liked and I tried a bunch to find the ones that best suited my and my schedule. Perhaps you don't go to the gym because you don't find it inspiring. You could try a different gym, a women's only one, or one with a pool or how about dance classes, like beginner jazz or african. If you like team sports, try joining a rec volleyball team for the winter.

My biggest motivator is keeping a spreadsheet of my workouts. I track time and distance. No way do I want an empty box one week.

Just starting this is a huge accomplishment but it can take a long time to establish a healthy lifestyle.
Don't give up!

Hanna1983

See, I am really proud of myself when I managed to cook up something healthy. And all the meals I usually eat are healthy. its usually fruit or cereal for breakfast, salad for lunch and a low fat dinner or soup for dinner. I also eat healthy snacks like a banana or green grapes. But every now and then (or often like this week) I ruin the whole day with pigging out on sweets or eating a roll after dinner or so.
I dont even know why.

Keiko, you said "If you quit now you will only gain more and feel worse." Thank you, this is so true and will hopefully motivate me for the next few days. I just hope I will keep this in mind as long as possible and dont binge eat again.

I want this so much, I am so fed up being "the chubby one" and looking ridiculous in clothes that dont fit well and look baggy! I dont know why I give into bad foods sometimes.

strawberryblonde1

You are doing great!!!! Don't give up now... trust me... I just rejoined MFP yesterday after a 2 month hiatus... am I am glad to be back…. as frustrating as it may seem at times, it works... and you will not only look great, but feel good about yourself if you stick with it. I have trouble with dinner too so I plan. plan. plan. ... AND (this has been a big help for me) I allow myself a 'cheat' meal ever week.... if I stay on track for the majority of it... remember one "bad" day will NOT undo all of your hard work, so don’t get down on yourself about enjoying food once in a while… everything in moderation! Small goals have also been a great tool for me… I would set a mini goal for each week like drink 8 glasses of water every day, or walk for 30 minutes five days, or no soda this week. Accomplishing small goals will help you feel more confident about your progress… good luck, and stick with it there are so many great people on this site to help!!!! :drinker:

Hanna1983

Strawberryblonde1

Thank you for your post. I like the idea with the mini goals for each week and the cheat day. Maybe I have been to tough on myself with no chocolate at all, etc. I dont know.
I do plan ahead alot, the problem is I just cant stick to it. But today I have not "sinned" yet and I have decided to have my healthy dinner when I come home and then go to the gym for a little bit. That way I am also away from the chocolate box.

Thank you everyone, I really have got some good motivation through this post. It so helps to post your concerns on here and get feedback from other members.

:flowerforyou:

cherapple

The weight you have gained back is mostly water weight. That's what unhealthy foods -- full of salt, sugar, and grease -- do to you. They make you puffy, but as soon as you stop eating them, the weight will drop right back off. That happens to me when I have bad days and eat all the wrong stuff. I put on weight immediately, but I also lose it almost as fast as soon as I start eating whole, lean, nutritious foods again. If the scale bothers you that much, stop using it. Pay attention to how your clothes fit, or find some other way to measure your success. Think about who you want to be, and let that vision motivate you!

Hanna1983

Cheryl,

Thank you, I did not know that this is what happens when you eat too much salt and sugar. I knew they were bad, but I didnt understand in what way. I learn more every day.

I am going to resist temptations until saturday morning and will have my weigh-in as scheduled. I would be happy even if I am back to 162.5lbs.

hwilliams519

Wow. I just want to say that is it really nice to read through the message boards. We all have our good days and bad days through this journey of weightloss, and it is so comforting to see that we are not taking this path alone. MFP is just a wonderful and very helpful site. I am so glad that I joined! I think it's great that we can all encourage and inspire each other. This just reminds me "The best things in life are free." Good luck to you all, and I hope we all reach our goals and continue to inspire others!



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gmpearse

I almost cried when I read that you restricted chocolate!!! Remember, its not a diet and its not about what you can't have. It is about becomming healthier and making better choices overall. Maybe, instead of your boyfriend taking you to a pizza joint you could show him how to eat healthier. Cook a healthy meal together.

Fitness_Chick

bumpin so the post doesn't drop to far and I can check back when I get back home

:flowerforyou:

Hanna1983

I almost cried when I read that you restricted chocolate!!! Remember, its not a diet and its not about what you can't have. It is about becomming healthier and making better choices overall. Maybe, instead of your boyfriend taking you to a pizza joint you could show him how to eat healthier. Cook a healthy meal together.

gmpearse,

thanks for your post. I would love to cook healthy meals together with my boyfriend. But he is not interested, as he doesnt have to lose weight. He is a typical guy, eats thick, fluffy white bread for breakfast (yuk!) white pasta, pizza, curries, chocolate,...
he is also someone that likes what he is used to.
I recently cooked a reeeeally healthy and yummy Quorn Chilli which I made up myself. It was so yummee! I made him eat it and he wasnt too impressed unfortunately. I have also tried and swap one of his favourite meals to a healthier option: make pasta bolognese with turkey mince instead of beef mince. He doesnt want to try brown pasta or bread and has reverted back to full fat bolognese.

Bless him he is so sweet. he got so excited recently when he found a recipe for me for a butternut squash pie. he thought it would be so healthy, but 1/3 of the pie (and its a small one!) had over 550 cals, not even to mention carbs and sugar count there. I told him I couldnt eat that because even though they made it sound healthy, the nutritional info was very bad.

No I think on this journey I am on my own. I think maybe next time we go to pizza express i leave out the desert and eat just a margherita pizza rather than full fat goats cheese one or opt for a salad.

See, i have these great ideas, but I never stick to them :grumble:

Hanna1983

bumpin so the post doesn't drop to far and I can check back when I get back home

:flowerforyou:

Fitness_Chick,

My god I cant believe how successful you are with your weightloss.
Absolutely amazing. Congratulations! :flowerforyou:

Fitness_Chick

bumpin so the post doesn't drop to far and I can check back when I get back home

:flowerforyou:

Fitness_Chick,

My god I cant believe how successful you are with your weightloss.
Absolutely amazing. Congratulations! :flowerforyou:

Thanks Hanna:flowerforyou: It's been hard work that's definitely paying off!:blushing: :bigsmile: How's the rest of your day been today?

crystal_sapphire

i hope you had a good day!

Hanna1983

Hey Fitness_Chick and healthy_is_best

The rest of the day was good thank you, how was your day?
I got home and had my healthy dinner and did not touch the chocolate. It was sooo hard. but I stuck to it. :ohwell:
This morning I weighed myself and even though I have not gone down further in weight since my last check, at least I am back to 163lbs now which means I am only 0.5lbs more than at my last weight check. If I dont sin today I will be back to 162.5lbs tomorrow which would be quite good considering all the chocolate I munched recently!

This post was the best thing I could do yesterday. I love MFP for all the support you get when you feel down.

I think I am getting back on track now.

Thank you everyone :flowerforyou:

xxx

jawaria

I know exactly how u feel! I have the exact same issues! I do good and then 1 day i eat chocolate and do bad for the rest of the week... i used to be in awesome shape and loved working out...i knew how to balnce my diet and enjoyed food...now i need motivation just to mget up and get going!
what i do know is only u can change this. this site is great for motovational support. If u ever need to talk, u can msg me...
i hope u can be strong and do this for yourself! if all else fails think how good it'll feel to look good again!

watch48win

stay strong!

You can do this. I'm almost 1 year in, and still going. Take your journey one day at a time.

There were days when the scale said that I gained weight, and since I know now that to gain 1lb I would have to eat in excess of 3500 calories ( and I know that there is no way that I even came close to eathing that many) I knew it was water weight.

chin up...don't focus on the number on the scale...cause as we all know...it will mess with your head.

orkide

you story sounds a lot like mine. to deal with the chocolate i bought jello pudding snacks sugar free double chocolate and have one after dinner with a really big glass of water afterwards. i know its hard to lose the weight and wonder why this happened, but you are a beautiful woman going through a weight issue that is temporary! You have to start working out, don't weigh yourself, but judge by clothes and body measurements which are more accurate than weight. It is not easy, but take it one day at a time-Good luck! :flowerforyou:

candycaneps

Just like watch48win said, you have to eat in excess of 3500 in order to actually gain a pound. Our food doesn't turn into solid fat in one night =D I do the same thing sometimes, eat well and then indulge in cheesecake! The holidays make it even more difficult. Hot chocolate, egg nog, pumpkin pie etc...I have already come to terms that I am not going to restrict myself on Christmas. It is ONE day and one day is not going to kill me. I am however, working out everyday until then!!! My husband is a Marine and he looks darn good if I do say so myself but he is still supportive of my goals. He even worked out with me this morning and kept saying really positive things. He also tells me no if I want to splurge on a chocolate lava cake. If your boyfriend knows how important this is to you and knows how much his support means to you, maybe he will take a more active role and comprimise on meals.

You can do this =d It's frustrating but remember you dont have to give up all of the foods you love, just limit them. Portion control!

arewethereyet

I am really glad you are doing better!

Most of us who have lost weight have done so 1 pound at a time. In the beginning you lose 3,4,5 pounds due to such a drastic change in your eating. AND if you add exercise your body is like "Woo Hoo I am soooooooo happy!!

You can do this. April is 4 months a way. 16 weeks at 1 lb a week would be shaBAMM!

I know it is hard...you also started right at the holiday season....sooooo hard. By the time November came along, I was not interested in sweets or rolls.

I hope you stick with it! I think of it this way....February 1st will be here, one way or the other....will I have gained 5 pounds, or lost 2 or 3??? Will I feel wonderful and strong, or weak and sick.

Good luck hanna!:flowerforyou:

Hanna1983

Thank you everyone for all the support.
I really appreciate you taking the time and reply to my post. :flowerforyou:

I have decided to try as best as I can, even over the xmas days and then weigh myself on 1st January and see the result.

Scales are so mean! :laugh: