need some help... or advice...

ChantalD75

I have been on MFP for a while now and I have fallen off the wagon a few too many times. I have alot of weight too loose. My question is to the people that have lost alot of weight how do you stay motivated how do you not get discouraged on the amount of weight you still have left to loose. I look at pictures of myself and I feel so disgusted and get discouraged with the amount of weight I have to loose... I do well during the week... workout when I can and eat well... then the weekend comes around and we have bonfires and the sunflower seeds come out (I am addicted to these) and sometimes we have a few drinks. And I am not good at my water in take on the weekends. Then get on the scale on Monday mornings and I can be up 5-7lbs. I was so depressed when I got my family pictures back and really seen how large I am and how much I have to loose. Plus I am living on a really tight budget these days so I find I am eating the same things over and over gets pretty boring. I try to focus on only 5 lbs at a time which is hard for me. I like to see results right away. I just want to get under 200lbs... I want to see onederland again..... I want to be able to shop in the regular sizes... and not have to worry if my shirt covers my butt and my fat stomach before I leave the house. no one in my surrounding is on a 'diet' or healthy lifestyle. I feel like an outcast. Probably why I am so addicted to this site as I feel that everyone on here understands me and is going thru the same things. I have a family that loves to point out that I am fat. Kids the same thing. It's like I tell myself well they all think I am fat and can't loose weight so why not have have a piece of cake or cookie or whatever. No one around me has as much weight to loose as I do. I don't feel like they understand when I say 'no thank you' at something they are offering... they always look offended. I need some help!!! thank you for reading!!!

MB_Positif

well, I know this can be hard if you don't have the rest of your family on board. but stay strong and let yourself be an inspiration to them and the rest of your community! just because no one around has a lot to lose right now doesn't mean they never will. we all got here somehow, right? so be the person that in 5 years a neighbor says, "remember when Chantal lost all of that weight, I CAN do this!"

annadilynn

I think your doing well. Its a very hard change to make in your life..its even harder when those around you are not doing the same as you...it means you have to work double hard on the will power...ask you family to help, by maybe eating as you do most of the time and helping you when it comes to those bon fires and sunflower seeds... its not wrong to ask for emotional support from those who love you...they will be thrilled that you asked for their help and support

ruststar

So your family first calls you fat, then gets offended when you turn down their cake? Can you throw it back in their face? "You constantly remind me of my weight, and I'm trying to do something about that - back off." Tap into some anger and do what you have to do to accomplish your goals.

I haven't lost a ton of weight but I'm responding to you anyway because I have been where you are, overwhelmed by the enormity of the challenge in front of me and succumbing to temptation because it seemed like I would never get there, so why bother? I started my journey when I got on my doctor's scale and saw 227 pounds, 2 pounds over the amount whre I often told my husband, "If I ever get there, just shoot me, because clearly I've given up on myself." That week I started exercising on the Wii Fit, and slowly increased my activity to 3-4 days a week, without thinking about diet at all. I mean, yes, I thought about it, and tried to make smarter choices, but I didn't write things down and have a deep awareness of what I was eating.

I lost 20 pounds over the course of a year just from increasing my exercise significantly, moving on from the Wii Fit to regular walking and eventually to running. And then I realized that I was going to have to face food head on if I really wanted to get somewhere. I had a goal of 120 pounds at the time, and thought of needing to drop more than a 100 pounds was overwhelming, but the success I'd had already just with exercise gave me some confidence and I jumped into MFP not certain I could do it, but willing to give it a try.

Here's what I've learned:

Break down your goals into smaller achievements. When I focused on losing just 10 pounds, not 100, the feelings of anxiety lessened quite a bit, and it felt good to make those smaller goals.

Get educated on what consitutes a realistic goal. I don't know where I got the magic number 120 from, but it turns out to be FAR off from what is an appropriate weight goal for me. Even the BMI tables aren't the best guideline because they don't take into account how much lean muscle you have. My new goal is 170 and that is within 30 pounds of where I am now - and I've already had success losing more than that so I know I can do it.

Take it slow and steady. The weight didn't come on quickly - more like over several years - and you have to give it time to come off if you have any hope of keeping it off. Even 2 pounds a week - a safe rate - might be faster than you want to go. Learning a new way of eating is hard, and a drastic change might be too much at the beginning. Start with small changes, even simply just tracking what you're eating for a while to see what your current levels are and then slowly eliminate things that you can easily give up or make slight change to. It's easier to stick with something that doesn't require you to completely change your life overnight, and is less liely to draw the attention of the poisonous people in your life who are both enabling and attacking you at the same time.

smkcx♥

I haven't lost a lot of weight on MFP -- but i'd previously lost 80lbs (not in a good way -- so naturally when I stopped doing my morning walk and eating certain things again, I gained 30lbs back.) so I joined MFP to lose weight, the right way.

The realization back then, my mom bought me some clothes for my senior year, she brought me some shirts (too big, they were 3x -- I was mortified that my mother thought i looked this big, it hung to my knees) and I noticed the size on the underwear said "9" and I just started crying (Note: I didn't wear a size 9, I wore 5) my mom tried to make a joke out of it like "oh i didnt even look at the tags, my god that just hangs off of you" (and everyone laughed, including me) but on the inside, I was crying because this was how my family viewed me. and dont get me started on the size pants she bought me, they were too big also.

What kept me motiviated when I lost my weight (besides the fact I weighed 253lbs) was NEW clothes (cute clothes, you know, tight jeans and a nice top that didnt have a horrible muffin top and I wasnt ashamed to wear that actually fit me, and being able to wear cute jewelry) and wanting to feel good about myself. I was overweight and that effected me emotionally alot, I was constantly depressed and it always came back to the way I looked. -- It didnt help to see some of my graduation pictures and realize just how big I was.// I started eating smaller portions (I thought I was doing it right, but looking back I was barely eating! Not Good.) and walking a mile every morning.

The first 20lbs that we're shed, I could already tell I was feeling better, not to mention my mom took me out and bought me new pants, I had gotten into a size 16 -- I was in heaven. everyone kept complimenting me on my weight loss and how good i was starting to look (people who before, never paid attention to me) I probably would have stopped right there if it hadnt been for my grandmother, she said "you keep going, and dont stop" -- so i didnt.

After the weight loss I felt so good about myself, I was in size 11 pants, weighng 174lbs -- I was in medium (sometimes large) T-Shirts (Instead of XL) no more awful nicknames, guys were looking at me and asking me out, I was able to buy a watch and it was loose (it didnt stick to my arm and I didnt have to get links for it) I just felt, for the first time -- that I was pretty.

This time around, I hung up a pair of jeans I never got to wear, because I gained my weight to quickly to wear them, they still have the tags. I'm going to get them jeans on by this time next year!

withchaco

Don't be afraid to say "no thank you." Maybe they're thinking the same thing: that you're not going to lose weight, so why not eat the cake anyway. Prove them wrong. When you have become thinner, stronger and healthier, they may realize they were wrong, and come to understand and respect your efforts. Hang in there.

The thing with motivation is that you can't rely on it. You can't count yourself on being motivated every day... I don't feel like going to the gym some days, I don't feel like eating healthy some days. We all have bad days. The key is to rely on dedication, not motivation. Make yourself do it. "Just do it."

And don't undermine your success so far, no matter how tiny it may seem compared to the road ahead of you. A few pounds lost is infinitely better than none (or even a few pounds GAINED). That's what works for me sometimes when I'm having a bad day. I ask myself if I want to go back to where I started... the answer is NO! That gets me off my butt and to the gym.

One last thing, take a break every once in a while. Go over your calories every once in a while (just don't go crazy and eat like 5000 calories), skip your workout and let your body recover once a week...

its not wrong to ask for emotional support from those who love you...they will be thrilled that you asked for their help and support

Unfortunately this isn't always the case. I am blessed with a very supportive, understanding family, but not every family is like that.

ChantalD75

Don't be afraid to say "no thank you." Maybe they're thinking the same thing: that you're not going to lose weight, so why not eat the cake anyway. Prove them wrong. When you have become thinner, stronger and healthier, they may realize they were wrong, and come to understand and respect your efforts. Hang in there.

The thing with motivation is that you can't rely on it. You can't count yourself on being motivated every day... I don't feel like going to the gym some days, I don't feel like eating healthy some days. We all have bad days. The key is to rely on dedication, not motivation. Make yourself do it. "Just do it."

And don't undermine your success so far, no matter how tiny it may seem compared to the road ahead of you. A few pounds lost is infinitely better than none (or even a few pounds GAINED). That's what works for me sometimes when I'm having a bad day. I ask myself if I want to go back to where I started... the answer is NO! That gets me off my butt and to the gym.

One last thing, take a break every once in a while. Go over your calories every once in a while (just don't go crazy and eat like 5000 calories), skip your workout and let your body recover once a week...

its not wrong to ask for emotional support from those who love you...they will be thrilled that you asked for their help and support

Unfortunately this isn't always the case. I am blessed with a very supportive, understanding family, but not every family is like that.

thank you! Something clicked when I read just do it...... I like that!!

judy20in2011

The first problem is not having a supportive enviroment to help you achieve your goals. Growing up my mom was obese, ending up having gastric bypass surgery over 20 years ago. There were people in our family that would do the same thing. Constantly make quips or digs whenever she ate anything. All it did was make her want to eat more! Like you said, it reinforces that failure feeling. Have you ever tried to have a serious coversation on how much this hurtful behavior impacts you? It's your time to make the decision for you; if you want to lose the weight and feel healthy. No amount of cajoling is going to work if your not there yet mentally. You have to decide if your ready to commit and stick to it. I wish people that love us would realize how detrimental their words and actions can be but you also have to take back your own power. You have to want it bad enough to be willing to give up (or cut down) on the stuff that you know is working against your goal. You need to tell yourself "SO WHAT!" If they look offended when you decline something. That's THEIR problem, it's not your responsibility to keep them happy. Your issue is getting yourself healthy and feeling in control of what your eating and accomplishing of goals.

You also don't want to feel deprived and if you enjoy bonfires and all that maybe the compromise could be to allow yourself two drinks every other time or something to that effect? Allow yourself the seeds, but in moderation. Check what a serving size is and prepare in snack size baggies. Only allow yourself one of those as oppossed to eating the whole bag. I think the word I am thinking of is balance. Don't try to cut out what you love, you will only want it more. I'd also suggest preplanning for gatherings. If you know healthier foods are going to be limited bring something of your own that you could possibly share. There are tons of modified/slimmed down recipes for favorite foods as well as twists on stuff you may be eating all the time. Who knows, maybe you'll start rubbing off on those around you!

I agree, small changes at a time. They will soon add up and before you know you've made A LOT of changes that are just a way of life for you.
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KelieHerrera

It is SO hard to do this alone. I honestly think I would have given up already and I am only 2 months in. My fiance is gung-ho about everything and we are doing this together. I would suggest trying to find someone who is willing to give it a shot and get them excited about it, too. I've made 4 or 5 of my friends sign up for MFP and slowly they are coming around a little.

Also, I get bored eating the same things, too. I think that's one of the hardest things, especially if , like me, you were eating whatever you wanted before and have had to really buckle down and make drastically different food choices. I highly recommend the skinnytaste.com recipes. They are amazing and I could spend hours on that site looking up new recipes.

malvakai

I get motivation from the Biggest Loser episodes on Hulu. It's 7.99 for a month of premium that lets you watch all the back episodes. I got the Biggest Loser Family Cookbook from ebay for 5.00 and started all our family shopping from recipes from it two weeks ago. I was worried it would cost too much but it was only 50.00 over our usual buget and stretched much farther than I thought becuse I started limiting portions too. The food scale was 15.00 and the bathroom scale was 15.00 at Wallmart. There's a new gym down the street that's only 10 bucks a month. I found 30 Day Shred on Vuse so that cost me nothing. So everything was much cheaper than I thought it would be to get started losing weight.

I watch episodes and in the commercial breaks I stand up and jog/walk in place. I am trying the 30 Day Shred challenge this week on this site and while I have to modify some moves I'm still hoping I make it all 30 days. I walk to the gym and use the weights and cardio equipment there. Most importantly I'm putting every morsel of food in my food diary here on this site. (Probably the hardest thing to do is face what we actually eat.)

I've lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. I have over 140 to lose still.

My first goal, get under 300. I'm at 302 now. I'll think about my next goal after that.

You can do this. Other people have done this. We can too.

MinnieInMaine

Start with some sort of other measurement and goal - don't wait, do it today. I wish I'd taken body measurements and a before picture when I started. I have some pictures but they're not just of me in a pose specifically for this reason... Anyway, find a mirror and take some pictures and/or take body measurements of yourself once every month so you can see the progress. A friend of mine did this and her flip book of progress pics is amazing! Sometimes when that number on the scale isn't enough, a before pictures can be a real eye opener!

Instead of concentrating on your weight, concentrate on the other goals like journaling your food consistently, exercising consistently, etc.

For me, fitness goals have been the key and there's a benefit there becuase if I'm doing well with exercise, I earn those extra calories and can have a treat now and then.

Glad we can be here to support you even if your family isn't. My brother made a snide comment to me in the beginning and instead of letting it get me down, I got mad and said "I'll show him!". That moment popped into my head a few times when I didn't feel like going to the gym or wanted something way off diet and it motivated me to stay on track! Maybe you can use their negative comments as a positive benefit?

And, I know it's hard but do try to speak up for yourself and ask them to be more supportive. It's not right for people to treat you like that...

pixiechk201

Just a few suggestions- to hell with what other people think, or say, or the looks they give you. I know it's easier said than done, but at the end of the day, losing weight and being healthy isn't for your mom, or your cousin or your coworkers. It's for you. Because you don't want to become a diabetic, or have heart failure, or even just get winded going upstairs. Make positive changes because YOU want to feel good. And if people want to give you looks for turning down a slice of pie, let them. Thin people don't just stay thin by eating everything put in front of them. Aside from a few freaks with high metabolism, most thin people are that way through simple diet & exercise. And you CAN do it!

Simple steps- stop eating fast food. Completely. I know it's cheap, it's easy, it's quick, but try going one month not eating any food that comes from a drive thru. That doesn't mean don't eat out. Get a sandwich from Subway. Opt for a turkey burger with a side salad at Chilis instead of a bacon cheeseburger. Avoid the chip basket at a mexican restaurant or the bread basket. Small things every day that still allow you to live your life without feeling like you're robbing yourself. And if you have a bad day and eat that cheeseburger and a side of fries, don't beat yourself up about it, and try and cook yourself a chicken breast and a side of rice the next day.

Check out allrecipes.com. It's a great website with all the nutritional information for every dish. Just type in a few ingredients you have in your house and whip up something under 600 calories. There is tons tons of yummy food that is good for you too!

When in doubt, walk! Take the stairs instead of the escalator. If your morning coffee spot is less than a mile away, walk there! Your latte is your reward for a job well done!

Everyone CAN lose weight, you just need to want it more than that cupcake (and believe me, right now I could go for a cupcake)! Stay focused and make decisions you'll be happy with tomorrow!

Immaskinnycow

The weight wasn't gained over night and it certainly isn't going to leave over night. Slow and steady is the best pace. Stop looking to shed 5 pounds, each pound lost is a victory and closer to your goal. One pound a week is a reasonable "goal" if you will. I have become MUCH more aware of the food I put in my body. I read lables like a maniac. My husband says I am obsessed. Who knows, maybe I am. Motivation is a fickle creature at best. There are days when I walk past my exercise bike or treadmill and I literally smirk and say OUTLOUD 'bite me bitc#". Always makes me laugh. I walk everyday for at least 15 minutes no matter what and I try to ride or workout 3 or 4 times a week. There can be days when you just can't workout, it happens, it's called life. Your body needs to rest and regenerate itself. Don't get down on yourself if you can't do couple of hours of sweat stain workout every day. Small more reasonable goals. If you go over your calories on the weekend it is ok. Everyone needs a cheat day. I'm not a big fan of deprivation, I prefer moderation. I eat ice cream EVERYDAY. It's my last vice, I refuse to surrender it. Try drinking a glass of water before you eat anything on the weekends. May help curb your hunger and you get your water in. As for friends and family that don't or wont understand and be supportive feel free to use my "smirk and say LOUDLY "bite me bitc#". May get their attention and they may actually get the message. Don't get discouraged just take it one day at a time. Best of luck to you.