Taking a toll on your mind...

HangoverSquare

I was wondering what advice you folks have to combat your weight problem taking a toll on your mental health; i.e. self-esteem, self-image, social capability, etc.

This isn't set up to be any sort of cry baby thread, but I'm just seeking some advice from you brave people out there. My weight issue, however it may make me look, has really hindered my ability to talk to people I'm interested in, especially women. There's a girl at my school that I'd like to get to know, for example, but I'm dead-set on thinking that I'm not going to be able to walk up to her, make a great first impression, and perhaps hang out with her at one point while I weigh 244 lbs--especially considering that she's a lean, good-looking woman.

This s**t is tough.

billsica

learn humor. Troll on MFP. welcome to the dark side.

don't worry about all that @#$ just go in with the thought of being friends. Its guerrilla warfare. crack jokes, get to know her.
then move in for the kill.

Girls aren't so hung up on looks for the most part. They want nice guys with big wallets and power.

harley0269

why are you telling yourself she will judge you on your size?? stop that!!!!
every man i ever dated was because i saw them for them, whats on the inside. its a special feeling you get.
what sparks a person may be the way your eyes light up when you tell a story. or your smile all bright & big.
or maybe the way that special big guy wraps his arms around a girl & makes her feel safe.
beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but we dont just see with our eyes.
anybody who judges on looks alone is shallow & missing out on a whole big beautiful world.

ohi1073mysoldier

I was wondering what advice you folks have to combat your weight problem taking a toll on your mental health; i.e. self-esteem, self-image, social capability, etc.

This isn't set up to be any sort of cry baby thread, but I'm just seeking some advice from you brave people out there. My weight issue, however it may make me look, has really hindered my ability to talk to people I'm interested in, especially women. There's a girl at my school that I'd like to get to know, for example, but I'm dead-set on thinking that I'm not going to be able to walk up to her, make a great first impression, and perhaps hang out with her at one point while I weigh 244 lbs--especially considering that she's a lean, good-looking woman.

This s**t is tough.

lmao, more guys like this need to reply to this thread.

I can't talk on the dating world being that I'm all married and whatnot buuuuut when I put on some pounds I got hounded by my small town asking if I wqas pregnant, nope just fat. Oh you look like you've lost weight! I'd say thanks truth being I had not lost any weight and I knew they were just saying it to make me "feel better" for being a chubby chubster. I have OCD and struggle with depression so yeah, it was bad. I hated myself. Bad.

Anyways, we moved to TX and I made goals and **** got doneeeee! . I have more to go but even when I had lost 5 pounds I gained so much confidance back. Fake confidence until you get it, by the way.

All I know is if you've got to work on your mental health as well as physical when you have self esteem issues like I've had. You'll be fine. You're still you 300 pounds or 200 pounds. You're still that guy that a girl's going to fall for whatever weight you are. You just have to do the work. (:

Okay I'm sleepy and done so sorry if this was rambly.

adventuring

I obviously don't know this girl, but I'll say that I've been attracted to plenty of bigger guys. I don't know if that helps. I'm more likely to be superficially drawn to that than, say, a muscular guy, for example. I guess it just depends on the girl.

If I'm feeling down, I just try to tell myself that I'm obviously not the only fat girl on earth, that there are plenty of things I do like about my shape, and that it's more important to focus on being friendly/funny than that sort of thing. It sounds stupid, I guess, but it has helped me. In fact, I don't think I ever would have decided to lose weight to begin with if I hadn't come to terms with being so overweight and learned to like myself anyway.

brittanyjeanxo

As horrible as it sounds, I usually tell myself that there are people that are bigger than I am that would love to be able to be my weight instead of theirs. Sounds selfish, but it's true. Somewhere there is a 400 pound man that would love to be able to say he weighs just 244. Hell, I wish I was 244! It's only 40 pounds lighter than what I am now but...it's 40 pounds lighter! I just try to remember that. As far as it goes with the ladies go, chances are unless she's a superficial *****, she won't care what you weigh. You seem like a pretty good guy, so you definitely have that going. (and IMO, 244 doesn't sound that big to me.) If she denies you because of something like that, she's not worth it anyway, no matter how good looking she is.