I flew off the rails and now I'm freaking out!

mustnothrowcantelopes

For some strange, god forsaken reason, I have this sabotaging part of me, that when I'm doing well, decides to do the opposite. I've been consciously trying to gain weight, being angry, that in order to maintain ti, you have to stay with MFP, otherwise, you're pretty much screwed. I guess I was tired of it feeling like a leash. Lo and behold, I get on the scale today and I've successfully managed to gain back 5.3 of the lbs. that I've lost in total so far. And whaddya know? You'd think I'd be happy. This is what the self sabotaging part of me wanted. I'm not. I'm terrified that I'm going to gain back all the weight I've lost and go back to the size I was before and that it'll just get worse from there. I feel like this program is the only thing that gave me hope and now it is the bane of my existence. I'm afraid to get back on it. The moment I start logging and it looks like I'm going to go over for the day, I just give up and then don't log for days or weeks on end. I don't have the money for a gym memberships , but I can't be motivated to exercise at home. I feel like I'm failing all the time and it's just going to get worse from her. I'm not even going to bother to record my weight gain because it will just make me more depressed. I dread going up even one more lb, but I feel that I have no control over it at this point. Even if I start logging again, what difference will that make?

AggieCass09

relax...just make a plan of HOW you are going to be healthy. Start with small goals and slowly add on. For example:

This week- log EVERYTHING and shoot for 20 minutes of some sort of activity 5 days a week.
Next week- keep logging, and add on day with extra exercise
Following week- aim to burn XXX calories from exercise (obviously, a bit more than the previous week's burns)

you dont need a gym or get fit there is plenty of stuff you can do at home, but only YOU can motivate yourself to do it.

if you aren't feeling motivated visualize WHY you want to be healthy...

I always write down my goals (on my blog) and then check in every day to see i'm reaching them...if i have more than 4 goals in any given week i get anxious so i try to stick to less than 4.

good luck!

brendalyne

The words below my ticker say it all "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right." Henry Ford". So....my advice is to decide what you CAN DO. Pick something small.....Like I CAN go for a 30 minute walk....or I CAN eat healthy for ONE DAY....I CAN "whatever". Small changes piled up ADD UP to BIG CHANGES. But first you have to decide what you CAN DO! No one said it was going to be easy.....but it sure can be rewarding. :happy:

Elisavsamonte

Just remember the U turn. You can alway make a U turn we do it all the time it gets us to where we want to go when we find ourself on the wrong path. Please be forgiving to yourself.

tmiqueen

It's all mental. You're perfectly capable of dropping 5 lbs.
Perfectionism is a sickness that a lot of us suffer from.
Perfectionists think it has to be all or nothing.
Perfectionists don't think in terms of mini goals.
Perfectionists don't think "Well, I really screwed up today. I'll just need to do well tomorrow and I'll be okay."
Perfectionists say "I screwed up ONE day! It's RUINED! WOE IS ME!!!!!"

I think your biggest journey should be to start changing the all-or-nothing perfectionism.
Set mini goals for yourself.
Instead of rewarding yourself when you're "perfect" at this, reward yourself when you've made an improvement.
Example: "I walked 4 times this week, compared to 3 times last week. That deserves an award!" (Even if your goal is 5-6 days a week)

I had to learn this type of thinking because my son has ADHD. The teachers would always give special treats to kids who had "perfect" behavior. Since my son could obviously NEVER achieve that, we rewarded him at home when he made improvements. ("Oh, you only got 2 demerits this week! That's 2 less than you had last week! Let's celebrate with a movie night!")

Doing that retrained both our brains, although we do occasionally backslide on this (old habits die hard and all), but just keep at it and you WILL see improvements!

Reward yourself on the weeks you maintain. Maintaining is just as important as losing!

JennBrown83

it'll make the difference that you'll have accountability. and if you go over one day it's not the end of the world, just do better the next day. I have been on here 11 days so far and some days i've gone over and others i've been under. it's an up and down kind of thing but a healthy lifestyle isn't ALL or NOTHING. If you're not motivated to work out at home then get out of the house. Go to the local mall, if you can, and walk around there. A lot of malls open their main doors early in the morning so people can walk around and get exercise. Go out for a walk around your neighborhood, if it's safe, in the evening. If you have a flight of stairs in ur house keep track of how many times a day you walk up and down them, aim for a specific number every day and then try and increase it every fews or once a week, whatever, or try going from walking up and down them to jogging and then eventually running up and down them. If you watch TV at night during the commericals get up and do some squats or jumping jacks or lunges. If you want to use weights you can use soup cans and do hammer curls and tricep extensions. Also, go on youtube and look for exercise clips. There are some great ones out there that can work with whatever exercise equipment you do or don't have. I wish you the best of luck and if you want to friend me for support and other quirky "at home" exercise tips feel free, we joined a community and we should help each other out.

Brightest Blessings!