Think my husband is sabotaging me....

MamaKatel

Don't you just love husbands? Mine does the same thing. Its very frustrating. My husband went to Germany for 3 weeks and I lost about 7 pounds, when he came home I gained all the weight back. And of course hes over weight himself and could care less.

lgwmab

It's not uncommen. I guess I've been lucky so far, my fiancee has been my best motivator with me trying to lose weight, he always tells me "I'm just getting hotter." and always telling me how proud he is of what I am doing, I just ask him how he's going to beat the men off me when I hit my goal, it's a joke between us.

SInce I started toning, and losing he's even wanted to "color" more. You just need to sit down and have a talk with him about it. Have him join you at the gym, if he doesn't want to go, keep asking him, eventually the insecurity should go away.

kmcgrath1

That's what kills me! DH for the most part is supportive. My first race was in the evening and he stopped by on the way to picking up his daugher just to wish me good luck. It's just recently the jealousy is picking up.

I think a part of it is yes, he feels left out. And I do go for walks with him. That's about it. He's an auto mechanic so he's constanly on his feet all day burning a ton of calories. He wants no parts of exercise after work. He tells me that I'm pefect and look beautiful that I don't need to lose anymore weight. UGH, it is frustrating.

Dtho5159

Mine does!!! "oh just have a bite of this" is the line I get lately.. Um no I don't want a 200 calorie bite of whatever it is, thanks anyways. Then he gets all offended :noway:

anewattitude

Totally his issues. I have friends that have gone through this and it turned ugly so please be careful. It may start off all innocent like but if he really does feel threatened smiley face m&m;s might not end up to be your biggest concern. Have you tried to include him in your workouts? Not that you should have to as many of us find gym time as "our time" however if he is feeling left out it might not be a bad idea to just set aside some time that the two of you go to the gym, or a walk or do a dvd together... whatever works best. My fiance feels I have become fitness obsessed and doesn't always want to exercise with me when I suggest it but he has never tried to sabbotage my efforts to be healthy ( I do that all on my own!).

Keep a close eye on the things he says and does and don't dismiss anything you are not comfortable with by trying to justify it. He needs to work o his insecurities but maybe a nice romantic evening planned by you will help him to realize he is all that you want!

Best of luck!

TriumphantLife

Great advice. I second this.

Scorpiomom222

That's what kills me! DH for the most part is supportive. My first race was in the evening and he stopped by on the way to picking up his daugher just to wish me good luck. It's just recently the jealousy is picking up.

I think a part of it is yes, he feels left out. And I do go for walks with him. That's about it. He's an auto mechanic so he's constanly on his feet all day burning a ton of calories. He wants no parts of exercise after work. He tells me that I'm pefect and look beautiful that I don't need to lose anymore weight. UGH, it is frustrating.

Well, there's hardly any way that you could include him in exercise if he's moving around all day anyway. That's the problem I have with DH. He's on his feet for 8 out of the 10 hours a day that he works. Tell him that fitness is something you need for you. That it means alot that he loves you for you, but you need to feel okay about yourself in order to keep yourself happy and make him happier.

kmcgrath1

That's what kills me! DH for the most part is supportive. My first race was in the evening and he stopped by on the way to picking up his daugher just to wish me good luck. It's just recently the jealousy is picking up.

I think a part of it is yes, he feels left out. And I do go for walks with him. That's about it. He's an auto mechanic so he's constanly on his feet all day burning a ton of calories. He wants no parts of exercise after work. He tells me that I'm pefect and look beautiful that I don't need to lose anymore weight. UGH, it is frustrating.

Well, there's hardly any way that you could include him in exercise if he's moving around all day anyway. That's the problem I have with DH. He's on his feet for 8 out of the 10 hours a day that he works. Tell him that fitness is something you need for you. That it means alot that he loves you for you, but you need to feel okay about yourself in order to keep yourself happy and make him happier.

Sounds great! I'm going to try that one!

marquesajen

Oy vey. My husband made a joke/was worried I'd find someone else after losing weight, and a few days later he put on his running shoes and came with me. He suggested we alternate walking with running. He came on long bike rides with me, he worked out in the living room with me. He started packing his lunches and cooking with me. I think the best way to meet this head on is to include him in some way. Yes, it's his problem, but it affects you. If he's too tired, doesn't want to walk/run maybe he can lift weights, do crunches, stuff like that. He'll probably find that after working out regularly he's got more energy and he might start doing other exercise with you too. Candy is a sweet gesture, but a powerbar on your pillow is a thoughtful one.

Good luck

BellySoonGone

oooh, my ex was like that. bad news; sorry! Keep on and stay motivated. change is hard for men.

blessings.

change is hard on men and women when someone tries to change them into someone else..

BellySoonGone

OK...DH has been making comments here and there about how I'm getting all healthy and fit and I'm going to meet someone at the gym and leave him. He says he's just joking but it's getting annoying.

Even yesterday I came home from the gym and he said he was at the store and thought of me. He bought a bag of dark chocolate M&Ms. OMG...seriously?!? So I didn't touch them, then I go into the room and there's a smiley face of M&Ms on my pillow. Geesh! Well, of course I ate them! Then I went downstairs and did 30 min Shred.

He's always coming over to me offering me something junkie and now he's questioning me...who'd ya have in the car. Uhhhh no one! His paranoia is starting to tick me off! First he wants to keep me fat so I won't leave him and now it seems he's checking up on me like I do have someone in the wings! OMG!!!!

Anyone else have these issues???

Just tell him we're not dating....baaaaahhhh

billsica

Try looking up, "is my spouse cheating" its basically, working out. caring about yourself. looking better. going to new places (the gym).

My wife has been semi supportive. She thinks tracking everything, everyday is dumb. She leaves the boxes of stuff she used to make dinner out though.

brittanyjeanxo

I would perhaps bringing this subject up to your husband rather than strangers, but that's just what I would do. And don't blame him because you didn't have the willpower to take the M&Ms off of your pillow and throw them out. Sounds like he was just trying to be sweet, but again, just my opinion.

eates

Tell him you're too busy messing with his DVR to find someone new...

kmcgrath1

Tell him you're too busy messing with his DVR to find someone new...

Now that was funny!!!! He did appreciate it. Was just mad he didn't come up with it.

Scorpiomom222

Gosh,

Sounds like he can't handle the change too well, i cant understand guys like that surely he must want a happier, healthier, sexier, you?

This sounds harsh but drag him with you to the gym or on a run or move on to a fitter sexier model and get your self an upgrade.

uh, okay. and if this happened to you?? here's my hand, use it for your own *face palm*

I agree that his comment was less than helpful. It's obvious people post about this stuff so that they know they can get through it. Telling her to "upgrade" isn't giving her any hope that she can try to make it better or much hope about their marriage.