Creative ways to keep me out of the dog house?

TluvK
TluvK Posts: 733 Member
edited October 1 in Chit-Chat
So...my husband says I don't listen to him (I know, this is a woman's typical complaint). First off, I DO listen to him, but I have two kids, work from home, a dog, etc. I ALWAYS know what my kids are doing, mostly because I plan everything for them. My husband? He's a grown man who plans his own schedule. So, it happens all the time that he tells me what he's doing and then I forget. I just tell him that there's no room in my brain for another person's schedule. But, I told him I'd work on it.

He JUST called me and said, "Well, I'm done. I got done earlier than expected and it went really well" and then he paused waiting for me to comment on this thing that went really well. I copped out and said "oh, that's really great! Honey - I really need to help Joey with something right now. I'll see you later".

I have NO idea what he's talking about. None. Clueless. But, on the plus side, I do know what my kids and the dog are doing right now. He's going to come home later and he's going to be evasive about his activities today just to see if I was listening when he first told me about it. I'm in a pickle. Ideas?
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Replies

  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Get a babysitter and be all dolled up when he gets home and hrmmm, distract him?
  • msarro
    msarro Posts: 2,748 Member
    Buy steaks and beer, stat :laugh:
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    You have selective hearing. I suffer from the same problem. He's an attention *kitten*. Ignore him more.
  • mandygal13
    mandygal13 Posts: 219 Member
    Get a babysitter and be all dolled up when he gets home and hrmmm, distract him?

    great idea!!!!
  • redfroggie
    redfroggie Posts: 591 Member
    Send the kids out, be at the door in heels and a smile?
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    So...my husband says I don't listen to him (I know, this is a woman's typical complaint). First off, I DO listen to him, but I have two kids, work from home, a dog, etc. I ALWAYS know what my kids are doing, mostly because I plan everything for them. My husband? He's a grown man who plans his own schedule. So, it happens all the time that he tells me what he's doing and then I forget. I just tell him that there's no room in my brain for another person's schedule. But, I told him I'd work on it.

    He JUST called me and said, "Well, I'm done. I got done earlier than expected and it went really well" and then he paused waiting for me to comment on this thing that went really well. I copped out and said "oh, that's really great! Honey - I really need to help Joey with something right now. I'll see you later".

    I have NO idea what he's talking about. None. Clueless. But, on the plus side, I do know what my kids and the dog are doing right now. He's going to come home later and he's going to be evasive about his activities today just to see if I was listening when he first told me about it. I'm in a pickle. Ideas?

    Does he listen to you?
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    Uh huh..


    Have you seen the remote?
  • LivLovLrn
    LivLovLrn Posts: 580 Member
    Honey you don't need anything creative, you need to listen to your husband and make it a priority to remember. You are hurting his feelings big time. Your kids are important, but they will grow up and leave you. If you want him around when they are gone, pay attention to him
  • TluvK
    TluvK Posts: 733 Member
    You have selective hearing. I suffer from the same problem. He's an attention *kitten*. Ignore him more.

    This made me laugh out loud!! Thanks for that. It's true, I think!

    I also think dressing up, beer and steak are all really good ideas! Ha! Men are simple, aren't they? Although, mine's a little more sensitive than most...
  • Kristin6608
    Kristin6608 Posts: 56 Member
    Maybe try to find a way to have a shared calendar. I think it is more important for him that you show interest then you actually knowing every detail. If you get a shared calendar you can check it and ask questions about his day.
  • starwhisperer
    starwhisperer Posts: 367
    I remember everything everyone says, on the other hand I was married for 6 years before I could remember my husbands birthday... and now after 13 years I still have to rely on facebook to remind me when my anniversary is. It makes him insane! I just point out that he forgets to put his dishes in the kitchen, or his clothes in the laundry hamper so he can't really say much about what I manage to remember. Oh and the beer and steak probably wouldn't hurt at all!
  • julzmm
    julzmm Posts: 43 Member
    when he gets home, make him a cuppa, sit down and say ' so, tell me all about it'! :smile:
  • TluvK
    TluvK Posts: 733 Member
    Honey you don't need anything creative, you need to listen to your husband and make it a priority to remember. You are hurting his feelings big time. Your kids are important, but they will grow up and leave you. If you want him around when they are gone, pay attention to him

    We have a REALLY good relationship...and he gets plenty of attention - to the tune of 4 days a week, if you know what I mean.
  • ReginasHorror
    ReginasHorror Posts: 423 Member
    Honey you don't need anything creative, you need to listen to your husband and make it a priority to remember. You are hurting his feelings big time. Your kids are important, but they will grow up and leave you. If you want him around when they are gone, pay attention to him
    Second this
  • Jenny56dreams
    Jenny56dreams Posts: 147 Member
    Quick! Lay down on the couch and pretend you're sleeping! Lol :yawn:
  • Ashleypeterson37
    Ashleypeterson37 Posts: 347 Member
    I had this same issue with my husband. Every time he had something going on that was super important to him, I wrote it on the calendar in the kitchen. That way it looked like I was interested and I could glance at the calendar when he started talking about his day and I would know all about it. The calendar also helped cuz when he would call, I was able to ask him about a certain event that happened that day before he brought it up and he would be impressed that I remembered.
  • LittleFootHafner
    LittleFootHafner Posts: 302
    Agree with just making tonight special if possible! ;)

    Just an idea - do you both have cell phones?
    My husband and I both a blackberry, and we have created a joint calendar that we can both see and enter new stuff into.
    This may be a good idea to help solve the problem in the future?!?

    If you don't have cell phones, maybe even a good old fashioned calendar on the fridge would work...
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    Oh this is easy!!! Me and my bff have a saying when we're in trouble. Go all "Jenna" on him. Ahem.
  • Jennyisbusy
    Jennyisbusy Posts: 1,294 Member
    First-try to use your brain and see if you can figure it out - dentist? job interview? new client???

    Second- just fess up - don't play a game all evening, you will just be wasting a day for no good reason. Tell him you messed up, you know you are messing up and you wanna take steps to quit messing up...

    Third- you gotta listen to your man, if it don't fit in your head write it on the calendar. no excuses- this is supposed to be the love of your life - make sure he knows he matters on a daily level

    fourth- steak and beer (or whatever his favorites are) never hurt, but only after everything else

    Fifth- good luck!
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
    My wife is much worse than this, she'll ask me a question, I'll answer, and less than two minutes later she'll ask the same question again! I'll tell her she just asked the question and she'll say, "yeah, but I wasn't listening." So don't feel bad.

    I think he needs to understand that there's more in your life than just him. If he wants you to remember to do something important, it is up to him to remind you.
  • TluvK
    TluvK Posts: 733 Member
    Hey - these calendar ideas are really great. I'm not a very organized person, which is why my brain feels full all the time. :laugh:
  • Sagelit
    Sagelit Posts: 78
    Honey you don't need anything creative, you need to listen to your husband and make it a priority to remember. You are hurting his feelings big time. Your kids are important, but they will grow up and leave you. If you want him around when they are gone, pay attention to him

    I agree with this poster as well. 4 days a week of "stuff" doesn't make up for not being involved in anything else in his life :/
  • mikethom
    mikethom Posts: 183 Member
    You have selective hearing. I suffer from the same problem. He's an attention *kitten*. Ignore him more.

    I was thinking the same thing! Although I might not have put it so bluntly :laugh:
  • RollinDawg
    RollinDawg Posts: 235 Member
    When he gets home, 2 words: Naked and BEER. He won't remember if he was mad at all. Oh, and send the kids and dog outside so it won't be all weird and stuff.
  • Jennyisbusy
    Jennyisbusy Posts: 1,294 Member
    Uh huh..


    Have you seen the remote?

    **chuckle**
  • jamiesgotagun
    jamiesgotagun Posts: 670 Member
    sounds like a steak and bj night, he will forget all about it ;)
  • Skeith5
    Skeith5 Posts: 89 Member
    My wife and I have a shared google calendar that we use to keep track of what's important. Since we both have android phones they show up on our phones. Makes it impossible to forget stuff!

    Scott
  • ladybug1620
    ladybug1620 Posts: 1,136 Member
    Honey you don't need anything creative, you need to listen to your husband and make it a priority to remember. You are hurting his feelings big time. Your kids are important, but they will grow up and leave you. If you want him around when they are gone, pay attention to him

    We have a REALLY good relationship...and he gets plenty of attention - to the tune of 4 days a week, if you know what I mean.
    I'm sorry to say this, but is "4 days a week" everything that your relationship is to YOU? Probably not. So it's most likely not everything to your husband either. I really can't see how you can forget things so important to him. My husband would be extremely hurt as well. I have 2 kids, 2 dogs, work full time, long commute, etc. and I can manage to pay attention to my husband besides in the sack. I agree with the calendar ideas, maybe just a little oranization will go a long way. Also maybe set aside one day a week (after the kids are in bed so there's no distractions) to get together on the upcoming week and what you both have going on.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
    I also have two kids, work from home, and on top of that, am working through a masters degree, and have horses to care for. I honestly couldn't function without my iphone and calendar. I have color-coded family calendars (on top of work and school calendars) and each person has a color. The calendars sync out to my husband's and kids' phones and computers, and everyone can keep track of each other that way. I would die without modern technology.
  • bethrs
    bethrs Posts: 664 Member
    All of this, AND- tell him you have a crappy memory but it DOESN't mean that you don't love him or that he's not important. As a therapist, I can say that this is less about who remembers what, but it IS about how he interprets your forgetting/not listening, the meaning he makes out of it and how it makes him feel.

    Don't make excuses but help him see that this is not a reflection of your feelings for him, it's a reflection of a weakness/difference in personality. Unless that's not true, and if that's the case, you have more to talk about than steaks and beer.
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