"rant alert" why do people think i should be starving?

me525

Is he feeling insecure? Being that he is "morbidly obese" is he concerned he may eventually lose his "hot skinny" wife to someone else? maybe he has some feelings he needs to acknowledge and talk about.

as for the mother in law, has she at any point lost a lot of weight then gained it all back? It's been my experience that people who fail at something will tend to discourage someone else from trying it and showing that it can be done.

I hope all can be worked out in your home, keep doing what your doing and succeeding, you deserve it!

BotsMomJ

Quote: " The day you start caring about what you put in your body is the day I will start listening to what you have to say" end quote.

You are doing what YOU need to be successful... KEEP it up!

THIS IS THE PERFECT RESPONSE! I NEED TO USE THIS! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!

mike_littlerock

I have the exact same problem, but I have NO idea why your husband is always telling me what I can eat! LOL

isnt interesting how everyone, especially people heavier than we are, seems to be a friggin EXPERT on diet/nutrition, and exercise once we start trying to get healthy.

I will say that my mother told me she was worried she might cook the wrong thing the last time I went to visit, because she was afraid she might ruin our diets.. I had to make sure she understands that its a lifestyle, not a fad, and we CAN eat the things we love, but have to watch portion sizes and not do it every day. BTW. I am from an Italian family in New Orleans, so LOTS of good things to eat when i go home. I did have a po-boy, Grandma's spaghetti and meat sauce, seafood, etc.. and it was awesome.

sunnyrunner23

Why do people feel like it is any of their business what you put into your own mouth? I find it SO rude.

anthony438

Hmmm, tricky situation. Can't say that I've had this problem, but have you tried smacking him on the back of his head? That's what my wife does to me when I don't seem to be getting the hint.

lmarshel

Next time, just tell him "Yes, I've switched gears and my new goal is to gain it all back." See what he has to say to that.

Booboo78

It's usually because the other person feels threatened in some way - the bottom line is, once you start on a new lifelong health plan (I never call them diets as that suggests it's only temporary) - for them it highlights the 'inadequacies' in their own health and lifestyle habits, putting a spotlight on them.

Also it's social and emotional based. For most people, due to social conditioning, eating and drinking is seen as a social pastime - a way of bonding, sharing, nurturing (for the people doing the feeding!), good times together.

Couples who share quality time together sharing a pizza with a DVD. Family time at holidays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. Eating and drinking with friends on social gatherings, dinner parties. Parents who, when you visit, cook you large meals as a way of showing their love. Even colleagues who come in to the workplace with armfuls of doughnuts.

So....when one goes on a healthy eating plan, the others around you feel one thing: REJECTION.

Hence, they either try to feed you up by giving you more sweets, etc (enablers). Or they end up criticising your new lifestyle (passive aggression). Because they feel that, subconsciously, you are turning your back on their 'love/friendship'.

Even though it's nothing personal at all! :laugh:

dsak

Fortunately I didn't have this problem with my DH before he hopped on "The Health Train" with me.

I think that part of your DH's problem, is that perhaps he knows that he should be eating healthier too, and that he needs to loose weight to.... so seeing YOU make changes makes him realize that HE needs to make changes, and that bothers him. So rather than do something about his own health, he is subconsciously trying to sabotage your efforts.

I would simply tell him, "Thanks for your concern babe, but I've got this under control. I'm keeping track of what I eat and this is planned into my daily needs." And on the occasion that you do have an "off diet" treat (the occasional serving of ice cream, or the pasta meal that goes over your dinner calorie allowance, etc..) just say "It's my treat day. Once in a while it's fine."

I would also sit down and have a heart to heart with him. Tell him that you're really trying to get healthier, and you feel like he's not being supportive. But in all honesty.. it really sounds like the issue he has is that he's feeling threatened by your success, and guilty that he's not doing anything to make himself better.

I don't mean this to sound mean to him... but it's one of the possibilities.

I would NOT point out "Oh yeah? Well what about that 700 calorie burger your eating?!?" That is just going to cause problems. Don't point out his faults. Simply point out your own solution to YOUR problems. It took my husband about 2 months to jump on board with me.. and that was AFTER I was down about 17 pounds. My DH saw MY success, and realized that if I could do it, so could he. We can't force our spouses and friends to get healthy. They have to be ready to do it.

God bless!

I agree with this 100%...

sweetsapphire85

It's funny because I get this all the time, and the more they weigh the more they monitor what goes in your mouth! I get it from mostly family and relatives who know i'm trying to eat healthy. Somehow your plates calorie content is of great concern to them. (why, i have yet to figure out)

My mother is a big offender of the above scenarios and whenever we go out she states that i'm on a "diet" to everyone...which is embarrassing and annoying.

I'm looking for an answer but i did like the quote the one poster put on a previous page.

msfazer

Thanks for all your advice I think he is threatened by my healthy lifestyle. It's strange how changing your lifestyle changes so much