An epiphany for my Binging/Overeating friends

DontThinkJustRun

Hello I am a binger/overeater/emotional eater/comfort eater/etc. With the help of one of my very special MFP friend's and finally getting to the point of the book "The End of Overeating" I had an epiphany today.

JUST SAY NO! Change your HABITS. Sounds easy almost condesending right? But let me tell you a story. Even though I've lost 130 lbs* (120 since gaining back 10lbs this year) I could not figure out for the life of me why I still struggle with binging and over eating. I've changed my lifestyle, I am educated on every facet of fitness and nutrition, I eat as cleanly as possible, but still the triggers remain and still I struggle. But finally I've realized when I look at my binging situations they are ALWAYS the same, they are a habit. So I just need to change the habit right? But how? If it was that easy I'd have done it already. But that's the thing, it's not easy to change a habit you just have to do it.

That sounds terrifying doesn't it? Well it does for me. I get so much comfort from binging I can't even begin to explain the anxiety that begins to build when I think about no longer having that outlet to use as a coping mechanism. But here's the thing. When I started losing weight I developed some rules, non-negotiable ones. For example, at work people constantly bring in cookies, we constantly have candy and it's always someone's birthday. I used to partake in ALL of those things ALL of the time. So once my journey started, the rule was NO, no candy at work, no cookies at work and no thank you to birthday cake. Was it hard? At first, absolutely. But that was almost 6 years ago and today I still say no, everyone including myself expects me to and it feels like second nature. There's not deprivation about it, no regreting, no cravings, no longing, no feelings with that decision. It's not easy everytime, but I'd say 90% of the time there's no thinking involved, no decision to be made the answer is going to be NO.

That's not to say I never indulge and have a cookie or piece of cake, but in that triggering situation I don't. So I survived that and I changed that habit, so there is no reason why I can't do the exact same thing to the binges I seem to battle every single weekend. Of course it's more complicated than that, but does it really have to be? Say no, it's gonna suck, but say no enough and it WILL become habit. Are you gonna slip sometimes and say YES? Should you? Absolutely! But make it worth it, make it YOUR choice and enjoy it!

Thanks for listening, I had to get my thoughts written down somewhere and I thought someone else may gain something from it.

BeautifulScarsWECHANGED

Thanks for sharing your story.

ChitownFoodie

Phew! I am still working on the NO BINGING thing. We will get to our goal weights in no time.

run4yourlife

Great post, thanks!

jamie31

Guilty binger here......

dlyeates

I'm totally a binge/overeater/emotional eater too!! I agree with what you said and want to encourage you on your journey. I have found that by watching what I eat I feel hungry but not starving. I used to think that overfull/stuffed was the feeling of full and I'm learning it's okay not to feel bloated!!! Good luck on your journey!!!

dlyeates

I'm totally a binge/overeater/emotional eater too!! I agree with what you said and want to encourage you on your journey. I have found that by watching what I eat I feel hungry but not starving. I used to think that overfull/stuffed was the feeling of full and I'm learning it's okay not to feel bloated!!! Good luck on your journey!!!

rmartin72

Amazing Story, Thank you very much for Sharing!!

coppercurlz

I love that you wrote it down and got it out I love those moments where things click and it makes sense...something that was hard to understand suddenly becomes clear. Especially when it concerns things about yourself that you have been struggling with! Congrats on the epiphany! and Im glad you shared it. Im sitting in the same epiphany boat with you It feels good to have a part of yourself figured out and that in the process of figuring it out you build things like self esteem and will power! Way to go!

ottawagirl613

Really good post. It really is a matter of breaking the cycle and avoiding your triggers. I do feel I have more control (and less guilt) when I am the one that makes the decision to enjoy a small indulgence rather then when I cave in to pressure from others. Thanks for reminding me how habit forming "no" can be!

SweetStrawberry

I would just like to say after reading this post... I went in ate my pre workout snack in stead of starving myself till later so I could binge eat alone tonight. You're right it is habit and its a hard one to break!

runnermel

great post! I hope that will click with me very, very soon. I used to be the person that always said no, and but for some reason I went back to eating all that crap again. no more!!!!! Thanks again for all of your support!

pepperdine

Great post!
I am a binge eater myself but having been doing the MFP thing about 90% for about 3 months now and just realized last night that something inside me has changed a little bit.

Last night I met some friends for dinner at Red Lobster and told myself that I would make better choices than I used to in this situation, but that I wouldn't obsess about every bite. I just had to log everything when I got home.

By the end of the meal, a light bulb went off in my head.....I was beginning to feel very full and because I hadn't felt that way in 3 months, it was actually an uncomfortable feeling whereas before I kind of liked feeling like that. I immediately put down my fork and left half of a biscuit and part of my baked potatoe on the plate. In the past, I would have ignored the full feeling and kept eating.

Also, in the past, no matter how full I was I would have ordered dessert along with everyone else. This time, the thought of eating anything else was just disgusting. I was impressed that I actually felt this way - I didn't have to force myself to put my fork down or talk myself down from dessert - I just wasn't interested in eating anymore.

I do think that if you stick to your new rules, new habits will form and the mental part becomes much easier. We will all slip up from time to time, but the new habits won't disappear overnight!

kklindsey

binge eating is the hardest thing to beat. I was excited to see that you had lost 130lbs and still struggle with this. Not glad you struggle but glad to see I am not the only one. I still deal with this and some things are just no-no's, I also have PMS really PMDD I think and that makes it rough also. You are right, you just have to say no and keep saying no, knowing that sometimes you will fail but if you succeed most of the time you are geting somewhere.

rachelleahsmom

Sometimes I am like a 2 year old and saying no just makes me want it more. You're right about changing habits and mindsets. It takes time and willpower.

That saying that it takes 21 days to create a habit - I don't think that's true. A long time ago I flossed my teeth for 21 days in a row because I wanted to make it a habit. On day 22, I was so happy I didn't have to do it! Nowadays, I do floss my teeth daily, but it's more cuz I like clean teeth (and HATE the dentisit) than it is about a habit.

Mios3

Yea, that is me these last 3 days School started and keeping up with everything just has me really stressed. I am relieved to see that I can still get to my goal weight with perserverance and determination. I have been under my calorie goals every night but not like I would like to be (because I try not to eat back my exercise calories, cause that's what works for me). Plus I find that I am not eating healthy when I eat out of stress. Thank you for sharing

BeilaLin

I agree with so many things people have said here.

The main thing I see in many peoples posts about their revelations is that they somehow had that "AH HA!" moment. The light bulb went on. Or they had an epiphany like you have said.

Changing yourself doesn't necessarily have to take a long time or tremendous willpower, but simply stepping outside of the box, stepping outside of your perspective, or zone of comfort, to see something new, to experience something different and to try something you didn't think you could do, but now see yourself doing.

It can happen at this very moment, and it can be life changing. It can start right now and can continue for the rest of your life. Passage of time (being binge free) and having willpower are just the result of practicing this transformation. But the transformation can happen right now.

For example, the girl who said they left half a biscuit at red lobster, or declined dessert. She tried it and it worked. She didn't have to eat it. From then on, she didn't need desserts after dinner.

For the person who tried flossing for 21 days, well, look what happened! They were able to floss, habitually for 21 days. Sure they stopped and on the 22nd day, she didn't floss. But for 21 days straight, they did something habitually. Perhaps now she flosses more frequently than she did before her little experiement.

The point is, habits are not something that you have to practice ALL the time in order to be healthy. You have hundreds of habits you don't even know about. They are just a part of life now. You just don't call it a habit. You brush your teeth every morning...for some people, they call it a habit because they strive to do it every day. For others, it's just a part of their morning routine, a part of their life. Something they do.

Binging, is not a "habit." It is something you do.

It can also be something you don't do.

If you just step outside of the frame of reference, the context of what it is, you will see that it is many things....

It's overeating, binging, its eating until you're stuffed, it's eating "forbidden food", it's eating late at night, it's a habit, it's something you do on Fridays, it's this, it's that...

Call it whatever you want....but it's something that you can stop, and never do again.

Maybe calling it a habit is holding you back from breaking it, because as we all know "habits are hard to break". Stop calling it a habit. Just think of it something you did in the past, and now you've stopped.

We all get stuck on the "what it is" and defining it, and analzying it, figuring out how to prevent it....when really all we need to do is just look at ourselves, see what it is we are doing to ourselves.

Once we see that we are doing something that is not consistent with our true intentions, then reverse the actions. Reverse the thinking...it's not a habit...it's not something that is hard to break, i can stop it...i can stop it right now....step away from the fridge, put the fork and spoon down. There, you successfully stopped yourself from binging.

I have struggled myself with binging and I have also tried many things, read lots of books, when really, all I needed was to look at myself more and be more AWARE of what I was doing, in EVERYTHING that I do. It's not analyzing every minutiae in my life though. It's just having this heightened self awareness about myself, what I like, what I want, and doing things that are consistent with who I am and where I want to be.

Anyhoo, hope you are having a great day with this new epiphany!!

TheGreatYaYa

I also gained all my weight (60 lbs.) binging and all of it was done in the middle of the night and most of the time I didn't remember doing it. How's that for a slap in the face? All thanks to a little wonder drug called AmbienCR. Yes, this wonder sleep aid that doctors are so quick to prescribe can cause you to get up in the middle of the night and EAT and even DRIVE and not remember it the next morning!! They even say so on their TV ads and it's still on the market! How do the pharmaceutical companies get away with such crap?

Anyway, I had been on Ambien for years and didn't have a problem at all, then suddenly I started getting up and eating and I do mean EATING everything I could find. I could easily put away 6 or 700 calories and then go right back to bed. Sometimes I would have a vague memory of it and sometimes I wouldn't remember at all, and only realize it because of the mess I would find in the kitchen. Well, I had tried every sleep med on the market and Ambien was the only one that would work for me so I didn't want to quit taking it (dumb, I know)....I kept thinking I could control myself. And I kept trying to stop the behavior, but, of course, I couldn't because I was asleep!

BTW--I never had a problem binging during the day AT ALL. It only happened at night. I've always been able to control my eating during the day.

Long story short, I gained 60 lbs., got off the drug, but my body was so used to getting up and eating, it would wake me in the night and I would still get up and binge. I couldn't stop the behavior. My brain and my body now thought it was the "natural" thing to do. I've worked very hard with a therapist to stop this behavior and have finally beat it (YAY!!!) but now I'm faced with losing 60 lbs. of fat that I didn't even get to enjoy gaining!

I'm so glad a friend told me about this site and I have friends here to help me shed this weight. I do still sometimes get up in the night to eat, but I don't binge. I might get one thing out of the pantry, like an Atkins bar and then go back to bed. I still have to work on stopping that, but I'll get there.

So, if a Dr. offers you Ambien...JUST SAY NO!!! A friend who was on it told me she got up and drove her car to the donut shop, bought a dozen donuts, drove home, and went back to bed. Didn't even know she had done this until she found the donuts on her kitchen counter the next morning. Scary, huh?

That's my story...thanks for hearing me out.