Life was easier when...

hotpickles

Just to let you know before you read any further - this only has a little bit to do with diet and weight loss. I just needed to vent.

I just came to a vast realization today.

Call me immature, sheltered, etc but I just realized something. I have completely been thrown in the deep end of life. I guess it's my first time out on my own, doing my own thing, having new experiences etc. The problem is, why is it so good when it's good, but so hard when it's not?

I remember living my so-called "sheltered life" back in my town before I moved. I really didn't have anyone to reach out to. But, having said that, it was easier. I didn't take a chance on a lot of things, so I really never got hurt. I never extended myself to new experiences, so I never dealt with pain and frustration.

Now it's coming full circle. I'm dealing with it. I'm going through it right now. The only problem is, I'm here, and the few people that I could turn to for support are there - which is far away. I'm trying to stay strong, but I just think to myself sometimes - wouldn't it be easier if I just didn't venture out and take that chance?

I really don't know what I'm getting at here. I'm just not used to this. I've been telling myself for the last three weeks I'd start back up at the gym, and I wanted to tonight, but now I'm just so stressed/upset/worried about certain things. I know I have to do this for me, and I will....I'm just struggling with this so-called "new" life, and all the ups and downs it brings.

I sit here and think - only a week ago things were so much fun and carefree and exciting! Now, they aren't. Up down up down up down....ugh.

Sorry to vent, but I would love it if just someone could give me some advice....

mermx

Am totally lost hun x

I aprreciate your vent and would love to give you some advice....but you haven`t said what the problems are that have made you feel this way?

odusgolp

I kinda am lost on what you're talking about since it's so vague, but sounds like you just cut the cord for the first time. So, I'm a tough love lover and say, pull on your big girl panties and TRY to have a positive attitude. Your mind and emotions you can actually control and are powerful things

And, your avatar is of Lilies of the Valley, so that is a nose tickling delightful happy lil flower that should do the trick for ya

6heatherb6

oh dear...sorry you are feeling down...

I'll message you...

tauny78

I'm not sure exactly what you're going through, but I have 2 things to say.....

1 - If you never take chances and get out there, and risk a little bit, yes you'll be safe and won't get hurt; BUT, you won't have that chance to really win big so to say. You have to put yourself out there in order to really live life and be truly happy!! Say for instance, you never flirt with that cute guy you see everyday, so you never have to face rejection from him right? But, if you do flirt with him, maybe there's a chance he'll be into you and you could have a great little romance (or even find the love of your life!).

2- You're not wanting to go to the gym to workout because you're stressed, I get that. But I know when I'm stressed, a good butt kicking workout really can help that tension! Even if you don't go to the gym, you should try to get some form of exercise in, and maybe it would help. Go for a walk or jog, or do something in your own home that will get your heart rate up and maybe it will help.

Good luck with everything! Add me if you like

Jycooper

I fully understand what you are saying but that is life. In order to live you have to take chances. How will you learn anything w/o life experiences. Trust me it will get better just hang in there and whatever you do dont give up.

Becky1971

I'm going with what I have read here! You ventured out, that's a part of life. It takes time to learn how to balance it all. It's not easy, not always but it gets better. Something you can do,is really utilize working out, to help you handle all this. Eating healthy and working out, helps our brains to work better, and handle stress better and so I totally suggest spending free time with that to get your mind off things. And maybe if you can be in touch with others that were there for you, or helpful, reach out to them.

cspence2270

It sounds like you might be a little home sick. I didn't check out your profile but if you are young and on your own for the first time in a new place and away from family you might be having good ole homesickness. You might need to change your view on life. Life is an adventure- if you just stay in one place sure you'll be "safe and comfortable" but you will miss all the wonderful new things in life. Just like starting a new chapter. If you don't put yourself out there and take chances then nothing will ever happen- good and bad. So buck up and go try new things and new places. Go out and go to that gym, take that class and MAKE YOUR LIFE HAPPEN. Don't wait for it to come to you. GO GET IT. It's the journey not the destination that make it worth the trip.

infamousmk

Being an adult is hard work! I'm 30 and still don't quite know WTF I'm doing most of the time. Just gotta get up each morning and put on your pants one leg at a time.

kristydi

I don't know exactly what you're talking about and I'm sorry you're feeling so down and frustrated. But reading your post made me think of this quote from President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

Life can be scary and there's often risk involved in going for what you want and dream, but even if you fail and it hurts, it was worth it because you will have learned something and, if you're brave enough to get back up and try again you'll be able to use those lessons.

I would encourage you to find some people to connect with and start building a support system for yourself. If you're a person of faith then churches, synagogues or mosques can be good places to find people to build relationships with. Or you could join a bowling league, or start regularly attending a group exercise class. Or find an interest group, take a class at your local craft store, if you're a mom go to a mom's group, volunteer at a homeless shelter or some other service group. Anything that will put you in contact with new people who may become supportive friends. I know it can be hard to put yourself out there, but I find that surrounding myself with motivated people motivates me to get off my butt and get moving.

hotpickles

Thanks so much, you all made me feel so much better

I don't know, there wasn't really anything specific, it just seemed that I've been experiencing a huge streak of bad luck. I thought that I had found my ideal career, it would be perfect, everything would be wonderful, etc etc - and turns out I'm so unhappy. So naturally I feel guilty for being in my 30's and not finding that perfect career....yet.

Then other things were happening. I found myself doing everything I could to be strong for someone, when I just wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. It just seemed there's a million new experiences going on (some wonderful, some not so wonderful) and it's hard to keep them all in order PLUS eating healthy and working out.

Thanks again, you gave me wonderful advice

JAGS2012

She's having a hard time with the vast change she's taken in her life. The move away from home.

It takes time. Like two years should do the trick. Its actually very good that you are putting yourself out there. You will thank yourself later. You will grow as a person in a way that you couldn't have being at home. You will keep all that is good about you and build on it

You have to get out there, and let your guard down. Being in a new city or town is diffult, especially it being not your comfort zone. I've done it. Wish you luck!

Johnnoh