31yr old GIRL - dating 48yr old man ....

lausa22

In my experience, a good number of men that age are pretty much settled into their bachelor lifestyle and/or they're already done the marriage/kids thing and just want a companion. I'd have a serious talk with him about it if that's what you want, because that's a HUGE issue in a relationship. If the man I was dating didn't want to eventually settle down and have a family, I'd have probably called it quits before I got too far in emotionally - since for me, marriage and a family is definitely something I want down the line. No interest in a family or marriage would be a dealbreaker. It's no small matter. I'd definitely do more than hint at where you want this to go - I'd have a heart to heart about what you want in life and what he does.

I know I'm only 18, but I also know for a fact I want marriage and children down the line. My boyfriend (been together 2 years) recently had a 'psycho' moment where he 'didn't know what he wanted' in our relationship.
He got confused and I thought I wanted kids in the next 5 years or so :laugh: So he panicked a lot. But I kind of want him to realise that I will deffinatly want that DOWN THE LINE, but at the same time I don't want to bring that back up. So for me, that was a huge issue, I'm still unsure about it now, it only happened a few days ago.

Nothing to do with this conversation, but I wanted to get this out :laugh:

SeeMeShrinkDown

I find it interesting that your refer to yourself as a "girl", and also, you are looking for opinions from others about your relationship.

Thing is, if you are both mature and are happy with your relationship, the age won't matter so much. The fact that you post this at all makes me wonder if you are really all that comfortable with the relationship or have some reservations about it. Just a thought.
Not trying to be mean, just a point of view.

kaylynn54

My husband is 17 years older than me. When we met, I was 18 and he was 35. We have been married for 36 years. He had been married before and had three children and really didn't want any more, but he knew that one day I would like to have a child. He knew this upfront and accepted the fact that he would be a daddy again one day (and he was), so if children are important to you but not to him, that is something that you need to talk about in depth about.

reinach31

My bf and I have an "insight joke" - he calls me GIRL - therefore I used the word GIRL! Anyway no big deal.

Age has never been an issued to me - it was for him at the beginning of our relatioship but not anymore!

I saw another post (earlier today - similar to this) - and I wanted to share my situation with others!

Anyway - thank your for your response.

SusanRenee35

Well I am very happy for you & obviously if you've been dating for 6 yrs & you purchased a house together there has been progress in the relationship.

I do have to agree with one of the other posters though that if he hasnt brought it up its because he doesnt want to or is just going with the flow of the relationship & will address it when you bring it up on how he feels.

You sound sooo happy & sooooo in love so I really hope it all works out for you & it is sounding as though it is! Congrats on the house too!

Out of curiousity when you did ask him about these things what did he say?

You are gorgeous & he is lucky to have you! But if you chose him it sounds as though you are lucky too!

Best of Luck Babe!

reinach31

He says he wants to get married and have 2 kids(is not like he avoids the conversation - he just doesn't bring it on his own(I guess is the same thing) hahahah

I am very very lucky to have found a great guy like him(I would say I am BLESS)!!!!!

Thank you soooo much!

ps.
I am trying to post pix of him and I - but not sure how!

boomboom011

He says he wants to get married and have 2 kids(is not like he avoids the conversation - he just doesn't bring it on his own(I guess is the same thing) hahahah

I am very very lucky to have found a great guy like him(I would say I am BLESS)!!!!!

Thank you soooo much!

ps.
I am trying to post pix of him and I - but not sure how!

I am 36 and my DH is about to be 50. I have been married to him for 10 years. He has grown children and i had a daughter. I didnt really want anymore kids but he said if i ever did it wasnt fair to me for him to say no since i was much younger than he is. So i decided i wanted another baby, he obliged! Were good. I think it will work out for you. He sounds like good people and so do you.

california_peach

You can call yourself a girl, geez...I am 40 and call myself a girl sometimes. Anyway, men don't often bring these things up independently. I know my husband did not when we dated...Women nest, men most often don't. But if he seems open to having kids I would not stress about when.

Hearts_2015

Whew. At first I read this as "13 year old girl dating 48 year old man."

I was like, "Is she freaking serious?!"

No that's the reality show that's coming up with the 51 year old Actor from Lost & his 16 year old GF. Now THAT is tough to imagine as she gets older and he's gets even older. In 20 years when she's only 36 he'll be in his 70's.

SydandPaigesMom

Well I am 32 and my DH is 53 (21 and 42 when we began dating), so BTDT. DH did not ever see himself getting married or having kids before me. He wasn't the perpetual bachelor, just shy, quiet, and kept to himself. I like to think I bring a spark to his life, and he helps to keep me grounded...we balance each other out well.

If it's something you really are wanting you need to have that conversation. I would hate for you to think you're going to do the marriage/children thing, then come to find out that's not what he wants.

Good luck! I wish you two the best

PoeRaven

He's 48 years old and NEVER been married. He doesn't want to be married. Why should he get married if he has all the benefits of marriage without the commitment?

Sorry, but you asked.

JNick77

Kinda in the same situation, my 20 year old daughter is dating a 35 year old who does not want to get married or have kids. I am not too happy about it since I am 39 only 4 years older than this boyfriend.

However, this is the advice I told her, if this is the guy you are going to be with and he has told you up front that he is not wanting to have these things, don't get it in your mind YOU can change him. Be upfront with each other what you want, and if it's not the same a future is not likely.

She's got a MAN-friend, not a boyfriend. Isn't it kind of weird that the man walking her down the aisle will be younger than her husband?? :laugh:

odusgolp

Kinda in the same situation, my 20 year old daughter is dating a 35 year old who does not want to get married or have kids. I am not too happy about it since I am 39 only 4 years older than this boyfriend.

However, this is the advice I told her, if this is the guy you are going to be with and he has told you up front that he is not wanting to have these things, don't get it in your mind YOU can change him. Be upfront with each other what you want, and if it's not the same a future is not likely.

She's got a MAN-friend, not a boyfriend. Isn't it kind of weird that the man walking her down the aisle will be younger than her husband?? :laugh:

Ummm... No he won't.

audram420

Kinda in the same situation, my 20 year old daughter is dating a 35 year old who does not want to get married or have kids. I am not too happy about it since I am 39 only 4 years older than this boyfriend.

However, this is the advice I told her, if this is the guy you are going to be with and he has told you up front that he is not wanting to have these things, don't get it in your mind YOU can change him. Be upfront with each other what you want, and if it's not the same a future is not likely.

She's got a MAN-friend, not a boyfriend. Isn't it kind of weird that the man walking her down the aisle will be younger than her husband?? :laugh:

Ummm... No he won't.

Yeah had to read this a couple of times...hehehe!

fiberartist219

Interesting that you call yourself a girl and him a man. At 31, you are a woman. Also, if he doesn't talk about marriage and children, then you can be pretty sure that's not his goal. If that's what you want, it's time to move on.

I agree. You are an adult. Do not call yourself a girl.

Since you are an adult, you can choose what you want in life, and if children is what you want, go find a man who will help give them to you, or go adopt them by yourself.

JNick77

Kinda in the same situation, my 20 year old daughter is dating a 35 year old who does not want to get married or have kids. I am not too happy about it since I am 39 only 4 years older than this boyfriend.

However, this is the advice I told her, if this is the guy you are going to be with and he has told you up front that he is not wanting to have these things, don't get it in your mind YOU can change him. Be upfront with each other what you want, and if it's not the same a future is not likely.

She's got a MAN-friend, not a boyfriend. Isn't it kind of weird that the man walking her down the aisle will be younger than her husband?? :laugh:

Ummm... No he won't.

Um... considering that I am younger than her boyfriend, YES he will. LOL

gethealthygetfit

Sad to say, if you want kids really bad, and he doesn't, that's a big problem. You cannot make him change his mind. You cannot make him do something that he doesn't want to do. I think you have to choose whether you want kids, or him. If I were in your position I would part ways. If he knows for sure he doesn't want kids, you cannot change that. I mean if he wanted kids but was waiting for something, I would understand, but it sounds like he doesn't want kids and you do. It sucks. I hope things work out, whatever direction they go.

swordsmith

I am 48 and my wife is 68. We just celebrated 20 years together married (21 if you add in the year we lived together). We are happy still and my wife is the envy of her friends for certain things....

Oh and she used to be my high school English teacher.