Is your motivation destined to Fail?

jdub224

Okay, first off I feel strongly about this subject, but it's really not to start an argument about on here. I just want to open a discussion about what people set as the object of their motivation. My basic premise is that if you don't focus yourself on the proper motivation "object", then you are destined to fail or easily become discouraged.

My list of these goes like:


Family (which I choose myself)
Friends
To seek a mate/become more attractive to someone
Job advancement

These are all finite things. They are not "constants". For instance, if I am losing weight for my children. Does it frustrate me when they are misbehaving? Do I think, "Man I'm sacrificing for you and this is how you treat me?" If I"m losing weight to impress my wife. What becomes of my motivation if she doesn't respond? Or wishes to participate in the program? What if she leaves me (God forbid)? You can go down the list and see example after example of what I'm saying.

I see a lot of people who want to lose weight to "get healthy", myself included. What if you suddenly are 245lbs and you get seriously ill? Does that mean that your effort was wasted, or that you aren't motivated to continue to live healthy?

I have come to the conclusion that in an effort to maintain a lifelong lifestyle you need to have a lifelong, lasting "motivator". It must be constant and unchanging. It must withstand the stresses of jobs, family, holidays and anything else that "life" can toss in between; while not moving away from you at all. I think the less finite your motivator the greater and longer lasting your results will be.

Let me know your thoughts. Thanks.

mccrockl

While I see your point, I feel like you have eliminated all possible motivators. Very little can be guaranteed to be a constant. So what do you see as workable?

Pepper2185

I agree with you in the sense that a lifelong, unchanging motivator will help you produce lifelong, unchanging results.

However, I do believe that short-term motivators can be effective as well, particularly to jump-start you into a healthy lifestyle.

People are often motivated by urgency.

For example, I am motivated by the desire to be the healthiest person I can possibly be, BUT what keeps me going to the gym every day is knowing that I'm going to be in a bikini on a beach vacation in two months.

I find it easier to work towards a short-term goal sometimes, and then when I reach it, I'll either declare another short-term goal, or I'll coast on my long-term goal of overall health and wellness.

Thanks for making me think

CaptainMFP

I'm doing this "for my kids," which you seem to suggest is somehow not permanent. My real motivation is to maximize my health and lifespan so I can see and share as much of their lives as possible which is pretty darn lifelong. I would also say temporary and short term goals can lead to others creating long-term success. For example, I'm trying to get off BP meds as well. I couldn't call it a success if I achieve that goal and then don't fight to STAY off them. In addition, I've added goals. I'm running in my first (emphasis on FIRST not first and last) 5K tomorrow. When I set that goal, it seemed unreachable, but I'm already thinking about a 7 mile race in another month...that goal emerged as I chased another.

I do think you're right that you have to do this for the right reasons; I don't agree that that means lifelong goals...not that such things hurt, but I think strings of short-term goals can work just as well to create permanent change.

jdub224

Hey thanks for replying. Keep in mind. I don't see anything as a "Wrong" answer. I am just dialoging.

I do think that short term motivation is awesome. Like I have a 90 day goal. I'm talking about end result, lifelong change. Which is what is required for obese people (like me) to become "healthy people". I've done the 70lbs, 80lbs,, 60lbs weight loss and failed out of it. I look back and I see that my "goal" was finite or actually became my frustration in the end.

StacyFrisbie

"Sometimes the questions are complicated, and the answers are simple" ~Dr. Seuss

I'm not perfect, I yo-yo with the best of them, but I keep at it. A setback is temporary, quitting is forever. I'm guessing that you're like most parents, in that you feel in your own heart that you want a wonderful life for your kids. Your parents likely wanted the same for you as a child. Learn to treat yourself as you would treat your child. Nurture yourself as your best caretaker would. My father always said, "I can't make YOU like me, but if I weren't me, I would like me". Just says the world to me about individuality. I get some of my motivation from Dr. Seuss, and just try to be my best me. Here are a few favorite quotes from one of my favorite books, maybe they'll give you a different perspective.

You will find from your very first moment in space you're surrounded by friends all over the place!

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind

A person's a person, no matter how small (or large in my case)

Things won't always go right, you might meet the grinch in the dark of the night. You may run into to trouble as folks often do, you'll find that this world's a great place to begin, but it COULD use some help- which is where YOU come in.

Today was good, today was fun, tomorrow is another one!

Today you are you, that is truer than true, there is no-one alive who is youer than you!