grrrrrrrrr.....MEN!!!

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Replies

  • Tiddle
    Tiddle Posts: 762 Member
    haha my boyfriend thankfully wll carry all the shopping bags
    he cooks US dinner and cleans up from it also
    does the laundry when he gets home from work (we take turns)
    hes pretty awesome actually...hes great at opening doors...carrying things..lifting things...washing the cars ...ect but he needs to work on RESPECTING women....the one thing i really hate about him is he makes me feel sooooooooo stupid...famous words "your not really this dumb are you? tell me your joking?" "you have no common sence" "your not as cute as you think you are" "you really need to work out"
    OH AND
    his constant need to correct me weather it be the way i say a word or whatever he always has to be smarter than me..Uuuuggghhhh

    we all have something to deal with right???
    *rolls eyes*

    wow..
  • dothompson
    dothompson Posts: 1,184 Member

    we all have something to deal with right???
    *rolls eyes*

    You can say that again! But then again so can our mates.
  • MissGorgeous
    MissGorgeous Posts: 394 Member
    haha my boyfriend thankfully wll carry all the shopping bags
    he cooks US dinner and cleans up from it also
    does the laundry when he gets home from work (we take turns)
    hes pretty awesome actually...hes great at opening doors...carrying things..lifting things...washing the cars ...ect but he needs to work on RESPECTING women....the one thing i really hate about him is he makes me feel sooooooooo stupid...famous words "your not really this dumb are you? tell me your joking?" "you have no common sence" "your not as cute as you think you are" "you really need to work out"
    OH AND
    his constant need to correct me weather it be the way i say a word or whatever he always has to be smarter than me..Uuuuggghhhh

    we all have something to deal with right???
    *rolls eyes*

    wow..

    ....yeah
    but the good out weighs his little remarks
  • yellow_pepper
    yellow_pepper Posts: 708 Member
    I once had a boyfriend who was a bona fide misogynist. While he never went so far as to call me dumb - which frankly, we both knew to be a dumb comment in itself - he did enjoy it when I had a "dumb moment," and told me that it was at those times that he liked me best.

    He also would go on and on about how disgusting overweight women were. When he met the CFO of the company he works for, he said he couldn't stop thinking about how fat she was and wondered how she got that job and whether it was in the company's best interests.

    He had a good friend, a man who was very obese, whose wife was just about 20 pounds overweight. He would frequently complain about how this friend of his should leave his wife for a thinner woman. When I pointed out that his friend was not exactly fit and trim, he said, "So, what? He's a guy. There will always be a woman who's glad to have him."

    I decided that the bad outweighed the good in his case. He may be just a typical example of a double-standard-bearing guy, but I don't have room for double standards in my life.

    And yes, I am single, but I am out with friends or dates several times a week. In fact, before I read this post, I was thinking about starting one complaining about how the guy I saw last night gave me a box of chocolates! Not good for weight loss, but he's a sweet one who I hope to see more of next year.
  • MissGorgeous
    MissGorgeous Posts: 394 Member
    ohhh yeah sounds like my BF haha
    constaly making remarks about over weight people
    but he is no double standard
    he worksout and keeps in shape and expects evryone else to do the same

    but he is really anti over weight
    which drives me insane because im fat which makes me wonder
    what he thinks of me! ugggh

    but he treats me like a princess and makes me laugh
    we are truly best friends and i can deal with his stupid remarks they arnt too often thank god.
  • shar140
    shar140 Posts: 1,158 Member
    Wellllllll then you will have to just try and communicate and make a decision for yourself. Maybe counselling? :ohwell:

    I wrote the letter then read it out loud...a month later I got dumped via email (and *I* was the one that couldn't communicate?)...I'm better off!!
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    haha my boyfriend thankfully wll carry all the shopping bags
    he cooks US dinner and cleans up from it also
    does the laundry when he gets home from work (we take turns)
    hes pretty awesome actually...hes great at opening doors...carrying things..lifting things...washing the cars ...ect but he needs to work on RESPECTING women....the one thing i really hate about him is he makes me feel sooooooooo stupid...famous words "your not really this dumb are you? tell me your joking?" "you have no common sence" "your not as cute as you think you are" "you really need to work out"
    OH AND
    his constant need to correct me weather it be the way i say a word or whatever he always has to be smarter than me..Uuuuggghhhh

    we all have something to deal with right???
    *rolls eyes*

    wow..
    yup that's a BIG WOW in my eyes too when I just read that!:huh: Especially since you're working on healthy choices for yourself...and making great strides...not sure how that would help anyone saying comments like that... verbal abuse doesn't just go away..:huh: :noway: it usually only gets worse...you're so young to have to take that from someone who :huh: says they care about you

    knocking down anyone's self esteem verbally is certainly not kind....and is actually verbal abuse....

    Maybe as Kellch suggested for the other member ...counseling might help him understand that those types of comments are very very harmful in a relationship.:noway: :huh: Even if you laugh them off like they don't matter...they are still going into your subconscience and effect a person greatly....:noway:
  • watch48win
    watch48win Posts: 1,668 Member
    I'm counting myself extremely luck on this topic......I have the white knight.
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    I once had a boyfriend who was a bona fide misogynist. While he never went so far as to call me dumb - which frankly, we both knew to be a dumb comment in itself - he did enjoy it when I had a "dumb moment," and told me that it was at those times that he liked me best.

    He also would go on and on about how disgusting overweight women were. When he met the CFO of the company he works for, he said he couldn't stop thinking about how fat she was and wondered how she got that job and whether it was in the company's best interests.

    He had a good friend, a man who was very obese, whose wife was just about 20 pounds overweight. He would frequently complain about how this friend of his should leave his wife for a thinner woman. When I pointed out that his friend was not exactly fit and trim, he said, "So, what? He's a guy. There will always be a woman who's glad to have him."

    I decided that the bad outweighed the good in his case. He may be just a typical example of a double-standard-bearing guy, but I don't have room for double standards in my life.

    And yes, I am single, but I am out with friends or dates several times a week. In fact, before I read this post, I was thinking about starting one complaining about how the guy I saw last night gave me a box of chocolates! Not good for weight loss, but he's a sweet one who I hope to see more of next year.
    Sounds like you made a great choice there in moving on..... Being single and have pretty awesome friends BEATS an abusive relationship ANY DAY! (verbal or physical).... when we get used to folks talking to us that way....that's the scary part....we write it off as no big deal...'they are making a joke'...yadda yadda yadda... I sure don't see disrespect of any kind a joke in any form.

    There's lots of great folks out there that KNOW how to treat Woman..... no real point in stickin around with the losers that know one else wants!:noway: :wink:
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    I'm counting myself extremely luck on this topic......I have the white knight.
    :flowerforyou: :drinker: :heart: :drinker: The cool part is you Realize it!:bigsmile:
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    ohhh yeah sounds like my BF haha
    constaly making remarks about over weight people
    but he is no double standard
    he worksout and keeps in shape and expects evryone else to do the same

    but he is really anti over weight
    which drives me insane because im fat which makes me wonder
    what he thinks of me! ugggh

    but he treats me like a princess and makes me laugh
    we are truly best friends and i can deal with his stupid remarks they arnt too often thank god.
    Guess we all have a different idea of what 'being treated like a Princess' feels like:wink:

    I worry about you 'BeGorg' You're so young to be in a relationship where you feel verbal abuse is ok aka-being treated like a princess not double standard? :huh: Guess I'm a bit confused on that point......:noway: :ohwell:

    Oh well......nuff on that.... but I do wish you well and stay safe....don't ever let anyone tear down your self esteem as a Woman...we hopefully find a mate to build one another up not tear us down.... we tear ourselves down a plenty we sure don't need a loved one jumpin on the band wagon to help in that area!:blushing: :ohwell: :noway:
  • Fitness_Chick
    Fitness_Chick Posts: 6,648 Member
    Awwww...what a butt :grumble: I would definately have a talk with him. I don't think men realize all of the hard work that goes into running a household. I mean I work 50-60 hours a week but I also was doing most of the cleaning, cooking, taking care of the checkbook, budget, and paying the bills, trying to plan our wedding, walking the dog (he very rarely did that), trying to workout and get in shape again, and somehow find time for myself and him, and I finally told him I couldn't do it anymore and that one person can only do so much before they break. I told him I needed help. And when I went through all of the things I do, I think it really surprised him. (we just went through this talk last week...I was super stressed because on top of all that, he got laid off) He was feeling worthless and depressed about getting laid off and thought that I was "getting on him" too soon. I explained that it's not his fault he got laid off but to help take some of the pressure off of me there were things he could do to help. I told him I was physically and mentally burnt out and on the verge of a mental breakdown. I came home yesterday and he had vacuumed, done the dishes, taken out the trash, made the bed, and got rid of an old table I had been asking him to get rid of for a long time. Oh! And the two piles of leaves I raked up two weeks ago and asked him to get rid of were finally gone. I let him know I didn't feel appreciated and that I needed some help and he got it. Just sit down and talk to him when he's in a good mood. Or if you have to, write him a letter. Sometimes when we talk it comes out wrong and they don't listen. But I found that if there is something hard to say, sometimes its easier to write it down. And he usually understands better. Then after he reads it, we talk about it.

    But make sure you do talk it over before you resent him. And try to have a very Merry Christmas. :flowerforyou: Remember what the holiday is all about and try to be thankful for the things that you DO have :flowerforyou:
    ahh Kel....HUGS my Friend:heart::flowerforyou: :heart:

    Smart girl letting your voice be heard.....you sure carried alot of the load...not sure how you did it...and you may not either:huh: :bigsmile: Glad you two were able to work thru the process and communicate ..... that must have made you feel pretty great and incredibly relieved to come home and find He had actually HEARD your words and crys for help!:happy: :wink:

    Very awesome job .....the past can sometimes suck big time....but with all things we learn!!! :brokenheart: :heart: :cry: :flowerforyou: :heart: :smooched: :bigsmile:

    and girl! have you EVER learned!!:drinker: So proud of you letting your voice be heard... sure glad you posted...many of us can learn from what you shared!!! :flowerforyou:
  • dothompson
    dothompson Posts: 1,184 Member
    Hmmm, you're easy, my wife would have considered giving a HRM as a present, being a *kitten*!

    I'm hoping that my husband got me one!!!!!! :)

    I'll have to ask, but I'm pretty sure she'd consider it something like getting a vacuum.

    I was right, I asked and was told "Oh, yes!" with a emphasis on the Oh, thank goodness I didn't buy her a HRM.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Hmmm, you're easy, my wife would have considered giving a HRM as a present, being a *kitten*!

    I'm hoping that my husband got me one!!!!!! :)

    I'll have to ask, but I'm pretty sure she'd consider it something like getting a vacuum.

    I was right, I asked and was told "Oh, yes!" with a emphasis on the Oh, thank goodness I didn't buy her a HRM.

    I think it depends on financial situation. Back in the day, when we had little 'extra' money, I loved getting that vacuum cleaner for Christmas. If he tried it NOW he'd be missing an appendage!!

    My husband bought me a weight bench! It is just what I wanted.
  • barry1992
    barry1992 Posts: 692 Member
    My wife used to bring me a beer each day I got home. The amount of times I had to send it back as she hadn't opened it !!!!
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    If anyone ever gave me a vacuum cleaner, I'd move out. On the other hand, one year my current boyfriend asked what I wanted for Christmas and I asked for a half-inch drill, which he did get me and that lasted longer than the boyfriend. :)
  • arian10daddy
    arian10daddy Posts: 2,758 Member
    47Jacqueline wrote: »
    If anyone ever gave me a vacuum cleaner, I'd move out. On the other hand, one year my current boyfriend asked what I wanted for Christmas and I asked for a half-inch drill, which he did get me and that lasted longer than the boyfriend. :)

    Current boyfriend.... drill lasting longer than the boyfriend...

    how can something last for longer than something that is currently going on... :D

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