The Outsider

Avalonis

I have come to the conclusion that if I want to have a serious relationship with a woman, rather than just have mindless sex with a bimbo that I care nothing about, I need to meet a girl on either a fitness site like this, or a REGULAR at the gym.

Because otherwise, they don't understand me. They don't understand why I track food, and why I have scheduled workouts. They don't understand why I weigh and measure my food. They don't understand why I spend hours looking at proper nutrition ideas and healthy eating. They don't understand why I read scientific research on healthy weight loss and muscle growth. They don't understand why I sit on this forum for hours out of my week, posting advice and reading other peoples advice. They don't understand why I continue to push myself farther and farther. Why I run until I throw up. Why I workout at 10:00 at night, and lift weights that are as much as I weigh.

I see some of them come to the gym once in awhile. They make fun of people like me that are dripping sweat, body heaving, gasping for breath. They look at me like I am faking, or exaggerating. They don't understand that I have pushed my body to the limit of what it can currently do.

People describe me as obsessed. They make fun of me for tracking my food. They give me a hard time about having a scheduled workout program, and how I consistently eat the right kinds of foods, and the right amount.

To most of the world, I am a freak, an outsider. I will never be one of them, because I want to be something more than any of them. I want to be the best my body can be. I want to push the limits, and be defined by what I can do. I will control my own destiny.

If I don't have the willpower and the motivation and the drive to change MYSELF, which I have almost complete control over.... why would I think I could be the best at anything else?

They just don't understand, and probably never will.


***I posted this as my blog, but decided to share it with more than my little group of friends.***

BeautyFromPain

love this

zaiikaa

10/10

squishysangel

I agree with what you say but I have one question...is there more to you than just the fitness and nutrition? I agree that striving to be the best physically that you can be is very important but there is more to life than just that.

taso42_DELETED

I agree with what you say but I have one question...is there more to you than just the fitness and nutrition? I agree that striving to be the best physically that you can be is very important but there is more to life than just that.

i hear he's hung like a horse

kimziebaby

Exactly how i feel! Word for word.
Great post.

Avalonis

I agree with what you say but I have one question...is there more to you than just the fitness and nutrition? I agree that striving to be the best physically that you can be is very important but there is more to life than just that.

i hear he's hung like a horse

lol... thanks Taso. And yes, there is a lot more to me than nutrition, I have a ton of hobbies and activities... they are just usually more active, rather than sitting around drinking beer and eating pizza while watching football.

I PLAY football for a semi pro team instead of watching

chefchazz

mindless sex.*stares off into space......

oh right, back to the post, i agree. you should def get what you want in a women especially one who understands you and your fitness goals but i also agree w/ squishy.....

withchaco

I'm not quite so devoted to fitness (just dedicated! ), but I have my own things to which I am devoted. I agree that it's vital that you and your SO must share the same core values. When you are absolutely devoted to something, and your SO doesn't get it (much less share the same devotion), the lack of understanding can cause, as well as contribute to, a lot of conflict. Imagine a couple where the wife is a hardcore PETA member, and the husband a big game hunting fanatic!

We're all humans. We all have flaws, and even the most like-minded people can have disagreements. This is not about trying to find someone perfect, because nobody's perfect. But when you're choosing someone that you might marry, someone who might raise your children with you in the future... it's important that you UNDERSTAND each other.

Rae6503

I hope you do find someone who understand you!

I don't expect my husband to start counting calories (although it would benefit him because he needs to eat more with the training he does) but he sure as **** doesn't make fun of me for it. He enjoys the results and keeps his mouth shut.

infamousmk

I wish you the utmost success in finding the right partner!!! I would like to say that if you can find a woman that shares some of your interests, and makes you think, and can be a best friend, she may not have to understand your lifestyle. I mean, obviously you want a partner that is active because that's a big part of your life, but I don't want you to miss out on someone because she doesn't quite get what's up with the weighing your food, etc. All it takes is a woman that can say, "I don't quite understand it, but I understand XYZ and love you for it." .... Seriously, you deserve a wonderful partner, and you'll find her, but she might not be the woman you expect.

tmarie2715

I don't think it'll be too hard to find, or that you're too much of an outsider to women. In my ridiculous sterotype I am about to spout, I think a lot of women already are very mindful about what they eat and track their food, too.

LoveleeB

I get what you are saying. The good news is that sometimes MFP seems like a dating site anyway so I am sure you can friend some ladies in your area and perhaps wiggle a date out of them. Hmm... strange word choice there sorry.

Anyway, The fact that your profile pic is of your naked backside might be enough to reel in a keeper. Good luck with everything that you do cowboy!

Avalonis

Hmmmm reading back on this post, it makes it sound like I am a lot more depressed than I actually am...

I was just spouting off my thoughts... I'm not quite ready to slit my wrists or anything

I am doing fine, I just wanted to express what I was thinking about! Thanks for all the well wishes though

starwhisperer

My husband has this really annoying habit of reading military books... and watching the military channel... oh and he is in the military. I have 0 interesting in reading or watching those things. So while he is enjoying his obsession I enjoy any number of my own. The computer, the gym, books, baking. Then when neither of us is wrapped up in our obsessions we come tother for... some mindless sex! Perfection. You don't have to share everything, just and understanding and respect.

Autumn15

Great post...Sounds like you are on a healthy track and if women or friends can't appriciate you for who you are then they aren't right for you or real friends anyways..Even if they don't live the same life style they should be supportive and not critical. Leave them behind and keep striving forward and when you least expect it the right girl may come jogging up right beside you. You don't sounds depressed. Friends are all around you just haven't met the right ones yet.

robin52077

Perfect post.

I feel exactly the same way.
People just don't understand.

8rules

I felt as you, and as you can see from my pictures I still have a far way to go until I reach physical perfection

However, I have learned that when you start putting out positive things into the world they come back.

You will likely never meet the right someone LOOKING for them, more likely they will come along when you are doing positive works in some unforeseen way.

You cannot plan this.

Continue to work on yourself, and do not fall into the ego trap that so many dedicated fitness nuts do, and someone awesome will come along when you least expect it.

I also recommend one last thing. Step out of your comfort zone. Counting nutrition and working out hard is where you are comfortable, and it sounds like its time to go do something uncomfortable and force other aspects of your self to develop.

Until then, I am sure bedding bimbos as you say, is not without fun. However, the fact you refer to them that way, and are in a place where you will use them for some pass time pleasure until Ms. Right shows up, may be in fact what is keeping her from coming along.

AnnaPixie

Definitely a bonus to meet someone with the same interests/lifestyle as you, but lots of relationships survive very happily having nothing in common. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward were a classic example of that.

I guess what i'm saying is, try not to close any doors!

JennLifts

Perfect post.

I feel exactly the same way.
People just don't understand.

Yep. Feel like a bit of a freak. I've never met a couple that both measured food, worked out, etc, but if I ever do... My heros. Because it's such a large part of out life. What a great thing to share.

fromaquasar

No matter what if you are passionate about something it is good to share that in a relationship - you never know though you may find a girl who didn't realise she was into fitness and nutrition until you opened her eyes to it

sleepytexan

I would advise you not to limit yourself to only the gym or online fitness people. This is why: you do not have to understand everything about a person to love them, you just have to ACCEPT everything about them.

I am married to a wonderful man, who is, by his own admission, a math geek. A quant. He is a genius with multiple advanced degrees in math; he works math problems for fun. He writes math texts. He is a grand master chess player. I understand exactly NONE of these things. Also, he cannot dance. Did you read that?!?! HE CAN'T DANCE. ZOMG I love dancing; I have loved it since I was a tiny child and I used to have a rule that I would only date men who could dance (you see how that worked out, huh?).

Nonetheless, we are happily married with 4 children, still in love, great friends, we laugh together every day, even though I have no clue what on earth he does with all those numbers.

blessings.

Scoobiesnax

I would advise you not to limit yourself to only the gym or online fitness people. This is why: you do not have to understand everything about a person to love them, you just have to ACCEPT everything about them.

I am married to a wonderful man, who is, by his own admission, a math geek. A quant. He is a genius with multiple advanced degrees in math; he works math problems for fun. He writes math texts. He is a grand master chess player. I understand exactly NONE of these things. Also, he cannot dance. Did you read that?!?! HE CAN'T DANCE. ZOMG I love dancing; I have loved it since I was a tiny child and I used to have a rule that I would only date men who could dance (you see how that worked out, huh?).

Nonetheless, we are happily married with 4 children, still in love, great friends, we laugh together every day, even though I have no clue what on earth he does with all those numbers.

blessings.

There's such a thing as a math geek who can't dance ???

Who knew...

sleepytexan

I would advise you not to limit yourself to only the gym or online fitness people. This is why: you do not have to understand everything about a person to love them, you just have to ACCEPT everything about them.

I am married to a wonderful man, who is, by his own admission, a math geek. A quant. He is a genius with multiple advanced degrees in math; he works math problems for fun. He writes math texts. He is a grand master chess player. I understand exactly NONE of these things. Also, he cannot dance. Did you read that?!?! HE CAN'T DANCE. ZOMG I love dancing; I have loved it since I was a tiny child and I used to have a rule that I would only date men who could dance (you see how that worked out, huh?).

Nonetheless, we are happily married with 4 children, still in love, great friends, we laugh together every day, even though I have no clue what on earth he does with all those numbers.

blessings.

There's such a thing as a math geek who can't dance ???

Who knew...

I know, right??? sheesh.

scarletleavy

Word.

I've basically decided I only want to try to meet someone while out hiking, biking or climbing, well I guess anything outdoorsy really. I need someone in my life who values the same things I do, especially considering my family doesn't it. It really sucks when those people close to you don't understand you or your interests. I just broke up with a long-term boyfriend recently, mainly because I think our futures and expectations are incompatible (job, marriage, kids, etc), but a big problem we had was the differences in our eating/fitness regimes. I couldn't imagine living with this guy, there's just no way.

Lizi19

Thanks for posting. I just started this fitness thing, but I agree with a lot of what you posted. People are already saying I am obsessed with such a negative tone and it can be really discouraging.

hush7hush

I would give anything to meet my next boyfriend at the gym.

I think that would be PERFECT.