feeding babies junk food

strapple

my sister in law feeds her six month old daughter pizza and cake (i wish i was joking) HOW DO I EXPRESS THIS CONCERN WITHOUT OVERSTEPPING MY BOUNDARIES?

his entire family watches her eat brownies and pizza while smiling and laughing about how cute it is
meanwhile im just horrified! itd be different if it was just for really special occasions (i suppose) but its very often. i honestly dont think she even buys her baby food because whenever i see them eating a meal, she just eats what the adults eat but mashed up into bits. this includes mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, pizza bites, burritos, pudding packs, all kinds of fast food and just tons of things that even adults should only have in moderation. NEVER veggies or fruits!

should i just not say anything? i dont want them to dislike me or be rude because they are newly acquired in-laws but it seriously shocks me to see!


EDIT: ive politely talked to my husband about it before and while he completely agrees that a baby should never be fed food like that, he also is afraid to say anything for fear that he would offend them. so its not me vs him its pretty much us vs his family

zorbaru

unfortunately you just need to grin and bear it. its hard to pass judgement on someone elses parenting. i wouldnt be happy if someone did it to me.

maybe bring it up with your partner and see what they think, but make it a general observation like "OMG i cant beleive she eats pizza at such a young age"

strapple

unfortunately you just need to grin and bear it. its hard to pass judgement on someone elses parenting. i wouldnt be happy if someone did it to me.

maybe bring it up with your partner and see what they think, but make it a general observation like "OMG i cant beleive she eats pizza at such a young age"

my husband agrees with me but hes also afraid of hurting their feelings. i suppose i wouldnt want someone passing judgment on me if i were a mother, but if i was doing something incredibly harmful to my baby i think i would want someone to tell me!

i mean, im sure id be offended at first but in the end i feel id appreciate sound advice. im not trying to slam her or judge her im just trying to find out how my husband and i can address this issue with his entire family

it also scares me for when i have children because i wouldnt even consider ever giving my baby anything like that and if theyre okay with it, idk if we'd even want them babysitting!!

suzycreamcheese

you cant say anything tbh.

Other peoples parenting is just one of those things you cant judge to their face.

Its absolutely fine for a 6mth old to have what their parents eat, but preferably it should be proper food and not high sodium crap. Babyfood is a con. If i was going to say anything id say "oh thats very salty for a baby dont you think" but probably i wouldnt say anything.

strapple

you cant say anything tbh.

Other peoples parenting is just one of those things you cant judge to their face.

Its absolutely fine for a 6mth old to have what their parents eat, but preferably it should be proper food and not high sodium crap. Babyfood is a con. If i was going to say anything id say "oh thats very salty for a baby dont you think" but probably i wouldnt say anything.

;{ i guess i should save my opinions for when i have my own child and they babysit. also, i agree about babyfood. i plan on making my own with veggies! (faaaar from now tho! we are newlyweds!)

her child being fed bad food is just something we see daily, so for both of us its very hard to see in our face so often without saying anything. i also just feel so badly for that baby. im sure shes already addicted to fatty foods.

sugarbone

In my opinion, making your child obese and not coming anywhere NEAR their dietary needs should be considered child abuse.

msfazer

I would say just grin and bear it I know I would be very upset if someone said that to me even if I knew I was doing wrong. My youngest is 10months and eats loads of vegetables and fruit he likes grilled chicken and fish but I have to admit he has tried the odd bit of junk food here and there but its definitely not a regular thing.

bigredhearts

i once watched a friend of mine give her 6 month old a sip of her amp, and i MOST DEFINATELY said something. i mentioned the contents of the drink and the effects of feeding her child garbage at a young age and how it will influence the childs future habits. they think its funny and laughed at e while shoveling fast food in their faces so while they laughed at me i looked at them and shrugged while i said, "alrighty then, feed your kid what you want. but dont come crying when shes 5 and weighs 100 lbs..." and i left it at that. but i guess thats just me... also may i mention that the only food i ever see them feed their kid is fast food, candys, sodas (WITH CAFFEINE!!!) etc... how can one keep their mouth shut when a child is forced to eat unhealthy because the parent dont want to put forth the extra effort in making sure their child has well-balanced, nutritious meals?

strapple

In my opinion, making your child obese and not coming anywhere NEAR their dietary needs should be considered child abuse.

YES I AGREE! i see what shes doing as legit abuse and it offends me outright!

strapple

I would say just grin and bear it I know I would be very upset if someone said that to me even if I knew I was doing wrong. My youngest is 10months and eats loads of vegetables and fruit he likes grilled chicken and fish but I have to admit he has tried the odd bit of junk food here and there but its definitely not a regular thing.

i hope i can be the kind of mom you are!

i think its important to raise a child healthy but introduce them to sweets/fats as a 'sometimes food' and teach that you can eat bad things but they are treats and NOT meals or nutrients

otherwise when they get much older they may relapse because they were NEVER allowed that type of food. its important to teach balance and not just restrict everything.

strapple

i once watched a friend of mine give her 6 month old a sip of her amp, and i MOST DEFINATELY said something. i mentioned the contents of the drink and the effects of feeding her child garbage at a young age and how it will influence the childs future habits. they think its funny and laughed at e while shoveling fast food in their faces so while they laughed at me i looked at them and shrugged while i said, "alrighty then, feed your kid what you want. but dont come crying when shes 5 and weighs 100 lbs..." and i left it at that. but i guess thats just me... also may i mention that the only food i ever see them feed their kid is fast food, candys, sodas (WITH CAFFEINE!!!) etc... how can one keep their mouth shut when a child is forced to eat unhealthy because the parent dont want to put forth the extra effort in making sure their child has well-balanced, nutritious meals?

things like this make me sick! im not a mother so i may be missing something about the difficulty of getting a child to eat. but i honestly feel like it shouldnt be that hard to feed your child in a way that will make them healthy and not fat!

i watched my sister in law complain about a woman she saw in a restaurant giving their baby soda WHILE she was making her toddler a hot pocket because he didnt want to eat white turkey breast on thanksgiving. how are people so blind to their own wrongs but able to see others?

msfazer

I would say just grin and bear it I know I would be very upset if someone said that to me even if I knew I was doing wrong. My youngest is 10months and eats loads of vegetables and fruit he likes grilled chicken and fish but I have to admit he has tried the odd bit of junk food here and there but its definitely not a regular thing.

i hope i can be the kind of mom you are!

i think its important to raise a child healthy but introduce them to sweets/fats as a 'sometimes food' and teach that you can eat bad things but they are treats and NOT meals or nutrients

otherwise when they get much older they may relapse because they were NEVER allowed that type of food. its important to teach balance and not just restrict everything.

I completely agree with that as when I was younger I had a friend who's parents never aloud any junk food ever in their house and wheb she got old enough to get pocket money all she ever bought was junk. I remember her mum saying to her "how cone your so fat when we don't let you eat junk?" I think if you ban somethin completely it makes it more disirable so that's why I let my three have some things here and there.

veganbaum

I kind of think that because they're family, you have a right, and nearly a responsibility, to say something, I just don't know how you would go about that without it blowing up in your face. Maybe if more people had things like this pointed out to them to simply make them think and reconsider, they might make better choices. I dunno, in our country (U.S.), the whole "it takes a village" doesn't really apply. Of course people can make their own choices, but we are talking about basic nutrition for an infant. Wish I could offer some helpful advice.

strapple

I would say just grin and bear it I know I would be very upset if someone said that to me even if I knew I was doing wrong. My youngest is 10months and eats loads of vegetables and fruit he likes grilled chicken and fish but I have to admit he has tried the odd bit of junk food here and there but its definitely not a regular thing.

i hope i can be the kind of mom you are!

i think its important to raise a child healthy but introduce them to sweets/fats as a 'sometimes food' and teach that you can eat bad things but they are treats and NOT meals or nutrients

otherwise when they get much older they may relapse because they were NEVER allowed that type of food. its important to teach balance and not just restrict everything.

I completely agree with that as when I was younger I had a friend who's parents never aloud any junk food ever in their house and wheb she got old enough to get pocket money all she ever bought was junk. I remember her mum saying to her "how cone your so fat when we don't let you eat junk?" I think if you ban somethin completely it makes it more disirable so that's why I let my three have some things here and there.

i completley agree! i had a mormon friend in high school (totally not slamming religion here) who was never allowed caffeine and as soon as she turned 18 she was addicted to caffeine and alcohol because she wanted stimulants!

im jewish, and i still think my children should try pork and shellfish and even red meat because i feel its important for everyone to try everything without restrictions. its more helpful to teach a child proper choices than to just say I SAY NO AND THATS WHY!

so referring to my original post, i would be okay with giving a 6 month old a little taste of cake or pizza....but never ever should it be the main diet!

bigredhearts

i as well, am not a parent, so often are my opinions mocked. HOWEVER, a child follows examples, and if the example is an apple vs. a candy bar and the child sees the parent eating a candy bar, 9 times out of 10 they will go with whatever the parent is eating. so for a parent to say that someone without a child doesnt have merit to offer constructive criticism is absurd. i, as an observer, watch the habits of my friends and their children and i KNOW what they can do make a postive change. but that takes effort. and some parents find it easier to appease the child rather then to make the effort. sad, but true...

strapple

I kind of think that because they're family, you have a right, and nearly a responsibility, to say something, I just don't know how you would go about that without it blowing up in your face. Maybe if more people had things like this pointed out to them to simply make them think and reconsider, they might make better choices. I dunno, in our country (U.S.), the whole "it takes a village" doesn't really apply. Of course people can make their own choices, but we are talking about basic nutrition for an infant. Wish I could offer some helpful advice.

yes this is the dilemma im feeling

her daughter is my niece and i love her so i dont want to see her obese or addicted to bad foods

but i dont want to offend my new family. :{

strapple

i as well, am not a parent, so often are my opinions mocked. HOWEVER, a child follows examples, and if the example is an apple vs. a candy bar and the child sees the parent eating a candy bar, 9 times out of 10 they will go with whatever the parent is eating. so for a parent to say that someone without a child doesnt have merit to offer constructive criticism is absurd. i, as an observer, watch the habits of my friends and their children and i KNOW what they can do make a postive change. but that takes effort. and some parents find it easier to appease the child rather then to make the effort. sad, but true...

honestly when it comes to things like this, i feel that not being a parent gives us an advantage because we have no emotional bias when it comes to food. we know the facts, 'a child should not consume this' vs them who have this bond and all they see is 'the child wants what i am eating'

:{ his whole family needs a health makeover but sadly i dont think i can say anything because im new and i dont want to step on any toes

significance

There's probably nothing you can do about it and it is probably best left alone. But if you feel compelled to (and I understand why you might be), one approach might be to buy a book such as "The CSIRO Wellbeing Plan for Kids" (http://www.csiro.au/science/WellbeingForKids.html) as a gift. Don't refer to the problem directly when you give it. If you have kids, say that you found it full of useful advice yourself, so you thought she might like it, too. If you don't have kids, either say something that doesn't sound pointed about how you thought it looked like a good book and thought she might like it, or lie and say "I won this in a raffle and obviously I can't use it, but I thought you might like it."

katiepie111

i have a 2 1/2 year old who was eating alot of fruit and veges before 1. after i split up with my partner, i got lazy, therefore he lost the taste for fruits and vegetables. hes a big (stocky and tall) boy but not fat, and still likes his fruits and vegetables, but only white fruit and veges, such as potatos, cauliflower, bananas, apples. oh and oranges. This isnt uncommon though but i really wish i had tried a little harder as now he is used to quite bland tastes.
HOWEVER it is hard to judge other parents when you dont have kids yourself - i guess unless you saw them everyday and saw they were giving junk everyday. tantrums and all happen if you give a child kinds of food, along with them throwing it on the floor, refusing to eat etc. not saying it is right but sometimes youve had such a long day and dont want the arguments/tantrums that you will make them something they will eat such as a toastie or fish fingers. as i said before, easy to say something when you dont have kids, wait until you have them

suzycreamcheese

if you say anything all you will do is piss them off. It wont change their eating habits, it will just make them think youre sanctimonious and patronising.

Its a lose/lose situation

When you have your own children, then youll be able to control what they eat, but in the meantime, youve got no say, even if its hard to watch.

zorbaru

my youngest is 5months old now and is only JUST starting on pureed fruit. other than that he is still breast feeding.

Painten

Children don't ever need to be fed "baby food". It's not essential a baby can be fed straight away on the same foods as the adults, not even mashed up. You ever heard of baby led weaning? It's basically the child eating when it wants and usually it starts with swiping something off the parents plate.

However you are right a baby shouldn't be eating rubbish like that all the time. I think i'd mention a documentary or something about kids and diets and negative effects of some foods. For example on tv last week here in the uk there was a documentary about kids being fed fast food and there was child who actually had anemia due to a diet consisting of pretty much just fast food. It might be taken badly but they might not even realise the possible effects of a bad diet, not just weight issues but other problems.

I once told my cousin how bad tea is for young children, it's very common here and it wasn't appreciated now she always tells everyone how i "lectured" her about giving her baby tea.

msmith5251s

In my opinion, making your child obese and not coming anywhere NEAR their dietary needs should be considered child abuse.

This!

Heidi_Maggott

Wow! I cannot believe that ANY parent would feed that to their children!! My daughter will be allowed her first taste of junk at her 1st birthday party. My son is 4 years old and is only allowed junk on the weekend.

You are in a tough position. In that same position I believe I would bite my tongue. Maybe express surprise the next time they do it in front of you (wow she is already eating such and such!?) but otherwise keep silent. Family politics fcan be a very tricky thing.

My husband has an aquaintance who allows her 4 year old child to sip from her beer!!!

cheri03

None of your business. Wait till you are a mom and someone offers their opinion.

akgary

quite honestly this is insane to me, for the people saying not to say anything at all is just absurd. a baby isnt supposed to have any kind of food until 6 months of age and at that you start with a little rice cereal and purred fruits and vegetables. i would care less if my in-laws thinks its rude of me to say something maybe you could get her a healthy eating book or something maybe just a suggestion maybe she doesn't realize what she is doing is detrimental to her baby, there is no way with junk food like that that the baby is getting her nutritional needs met. Maybe its just me but i find it appalling and these are the type of people that i think shouldn't have children

HappyLuna

None of your business. Wait till you are a mom and someone offers their opinion.

Totally agree. Its easy when you don't have children to be judgemental. This child is obviously very loved if people are smiling, laughing and spending time with this child. Also its wonderful to hear that this child is eating with their parents. So good for commmunication and socail development.

You are not with the family 24/7. How do you know they never eat fruit and veg? Bring your children up the way you think it best but never pass judgement or say anything to others (unless you suspect child abuse which is a whole different matter). You always feel guilty as a mother, and you will cause tension in the family by saying something. No good can come from it. Smile and let it go.

auntie_missy

There is no way to have it both ways. You can't say something without offending, and the situation won't change if no one says anything. To you have two choices: keep quiet and accept that it isn't your child so you don't have a say, OR take ownership of your niece and speak up even if it means stepping on toes. Me, I'd pick option number two. Talk to your sister in law privately and tell her you're concerned that the foods you're seeing the baby eat aren't really appropriate for her age. Let her know that you don't want to cause a fight, but you just love the baby so much you can't keep quiet. If it's a money issue, encourage her to see if she qualifies for WIC. If it's an education issue, encourage her to talk to her doctor. A less in-your-face (but sometimes less effective approach) is the "gift" approach. Buy her a Baby Bullet, a baby food cookbook (Amazon has a So Easy kit with two freezer trays, a book and a video for only $19) or other baby feeding things and just say you couldn't help yourself - you know how fun it is to introduce kids to new foods and "a friend" recommended this.

maidentl

Saying something won't work. My cousin never put her children in car seats. Ever. Hell yes, I spoke up. She thought I was crazy and ignored me completely. (Thank goodness nothing ever happened to those babies.) The best thing to do is set a good example. And I really like the idea above me of buying her a baby food maker and a cookbook. Maybe if you act very excited about it and offer to make some food with her she will get on board. But you must be prepared for it to possibly go unused.

upsydaisy2011

I did baby led weaning with my youngest, my eldest had the pureed food/baby foods but it was a nightmare so did baby led weaning second time around but I made sure he was having healthy choices, veggies, fruit, meats and fish, in fact, he'sonly eaten a McDonalds once (he's 4 years old now) he does love pizza but I believe all things in moderation so if they have pizza they'll have it with salad. I also believe that if you completely deprive yourself of something you'll crave it even more!! Junk food contains high levels of sodium which are bad for us but really bad for infants. It's tough work being a parent and even tougher when you see something you don't agree with but don't feel it's your place to say anything. I hope for the childs sake they improve the diet

anulle2009

my sister in law feeds her six month old daughter pizza and cake (i wish i was joking) HOW DO I EXPRESS THIS CONCERN WITHOUT OVERSTEPPING MY BOUNDARIES?

his entire family watches her eat brownies and pizza while smiling and laughing about how cute it is
meanwhile im just horrified! itd be different if it was just for really special occasions (i suppose) but its very often. i honestly dont think she even buys her baby food because whenever i see them eating a meal, she just eats what the adults eat but mashed up into bits. this includes mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, pizza bites, burritos, pudding packs, all kinds of fast food and just tons of things that even adults should only have in moderation. NEVER veggies or fruits!

should i just not say anything? i dont want them to dislike me or be rude because they are newly acquired in-laws but it seriously shocks me to see!


EDIT: ive politely talked to my husband about it before and while he completely agrees that a baby should never be fed food like that, he also is afraid to say anything for fear that he would offend them. so its not me vs him its pretty much us vs his family

Not much you can do about it. I do give my daughter pizza but rarely ever any sort of sweets but also she loves her fruits and veggies so she gets her fill of those too but also too my daughter didnt have any of these stuff until over a year. we did baby food until she was One.