Secret Eater

DancinSMartiPants

This is a real problem. It is not just a matter of willpower, although personal will plays a role in almost every decision every one of us makes every day.

I am NOT a psychologist or otherwise qualified to psychoanalyze people. But I can tell you my story. What you described sounds like an eating compulsion. For me the worst part of it was not the CONSUMPTION, it was the SECRET. I hid what I ate (even as a kid) because I knew i would be admonished for it. I'd eat as much as I could without getting caught. What is working for me is trying to systematically eliminate the shame around what I am eating. True, some of that comes from controlling portion sizes (my biggest enemy), but some comes from deciding that *I* am the person who cares most about what I eat. If other people judge me-- screw them. Their issues may not be food related, but they have issues. If they judge me it may be helping them feel better about their own weaknesses, but it has absolutely nothing to do with me.

I could go on and on about this. Feel free to message me if you'd like to chat.

myurav

i had the exact same problem. in fact, i realized a few years ago that i've had it ever since i was little. whenever my mom would leave the house, i would think 'now i can eat food!'. and then i would have string cheese, cookies, whatever i could find.

here's how i stopped it. i had to constantly remind myself that eating is NOT a shameful activity. also, if you don't want other people to know what you're eating, it's probably a sign that you shouldn't be eating it. i also happen to have a very supportive boyfriend, and after i told him about this eating habit (after a bit of a breakdown), he reassured me that he didn't care how much i weighed. and honestly, since then, i haven't felt any urge to eat in secret (this happened about 7 months ago).

if you want to eat that candy bar, then see if you can split it with someone. eating is NOT shameful. try to find a supportive friend or significant other, and explain to them how you feel. for me, having someone else know was key in helping me break the habit. and now, when i'm home, i don't feel the urge to eat alone. i think that the idea that eating is shameful is one of the reasons why some of us are here. eating is an enjoyable and healthy part of life. i love food!

you can always message me if you want some more support. good luck!

billsica

Make your food diary on here public and then post everything you put in your mouth. That way you may hide it from other people location-wise, but the MFP public will see it and know about it.

Also, think of it this way, your body knows you're eating it regardless of if other people do. All you are doing is hurting yourself by doing it.

I secret eat too.
I opened my diary, switched my ticker to my weight instead of pounds to go.
I don't have a solution. I try to keep enough calories for that eating. Some days I can make it, some days I just can't put down the fork.

Libbyly

WILLPOWER!!! I know.

@Candb - You know, I really think that will help. And I'm not allowing myself to cheat and not put something up.

@tattooedtwin - Right, I've started a "Fat Folder" o my laptop and hidden it. I'm going to take a picture a week.

@ZumbaQ - I've done it since I was young too. I remember when I was a teenager making two 12 inch pizzas when my mum was out and eating them both before she got home. And feeling so ill after.

@bry_all01 - Thanks for that. No really. Forget eating. Ill never breath in a bathroom again.

Riley4ever

Lots of people have already given some gr8 tips - the only thing I can add is "who are you hiding your eating habits from?" - If it's people at work then you might want to tell them that you have embarked on a weight loss program because you want to get fit and healthy and that you would really be grateful for their support. Plan a treat into your daily calorie allowance then eat it out in the open and if anyone asks, you can say thank you (as hopefully they are showing an interest in keeping you on track, not judging you), yes, this is x calories which I've factored into my daily goal. If it's your fiance - confide in him and again ask for his support. The real shame is if you are wolfing treats down in the toilet, you are not really enjoying or tasting the food properly and on a weight loss plan you really need to enjoy every calorie! Good Luck

bry_all01

WILLPOWER!!! I know.

@Candb - You know, I really think that will help. And I'm not allowing myself to cheat and not put something up.

@tattooedtwin - Right, I've started a "Fat Folder" o my laptop and hidden it. I'm going to take a picture a week.

@ZumbaQ - I've done it since I was young too. I remember when I was a teenager making two 12 inch pizzas when my mum was out and eating them both before she got home. And feeling so ill after.

@bry_all01 - Thanks for that. No really. Forget eating. Ill never breath in a bathroom again.

Sorry, it was something my husband told me a while back and it stuck with me since then. I really wasn't trying to be funny, those are just the words I hear everytime. I do sincerely wish you the best of luck on the willpower!

billsica

I hate to shoot holes in a lot of the suggestions. I know that other people will get stuff and keep it in the house.
I just used to wait at night, and still do. Then every once i a wile devour the fridge.
**except with willpower most nights I can do it, way better than pre MFP.

Ice cream, cookies, chips, fruit, cheese, bread, veggies, yogurt, pudding, that will all be in one sitting. Its painful to not eat. At least most of my stuff will be binging on healthier stuff. carrot stick binge isn't so bad.
Although I do not eat on the toilet.
If you look though my diary, you will see "quick add" calories, those are embarrassing food binges.

Walking to get food doesn't even work. I run 5k and end up by a few stores. I will go just get something and eat it then. Go home, and have dinner, like its nothing. There is an Italian ice place on the way too. Sometimes I'll go there, but not often.
To be controversial, I looked at some of the anorexia stuff. That may help. They do recommend not eating alone, or in front of a mirror. Brushing teeth, lots of water.

Tracking everything has one advantage. It does take time to enter in the data. That less time to be stuffing my face.
I'm currently considering taking pictures of everything I eat, that will slow me down further.

LoveleeB

As someone going into the counseling field, I would suggest speaking to a therapist to get some control over this disordered eating pattern. Cognitive-behavioral therapy would be the best. Also, it is important to remember that you aren't the only one who has experienced this, so you shouldn't feel ashamed. Good luck on everything that you do.