Being honest with yourself.................

SabrinaJL

1. Nah, I think I'm the reacher in the relationship.

2. He's always there cheering me on. He treated me like he thought I was just as sexy at 245lbs as he did when I was 150. I'm not sure it's possible for him to be more supportive than he already is.

3. Not at all. The more I hear my friends talk about their husbands, the more I appreciate mine. I've had friends tell me that he should give classes on being a good husband or ask if he would talk to theirs.

Kimbie500

I love my man. Just ain't ready for marriage. Not yet...... His credit would bring down my credit plus we fight bout money alot. Don't wanna have to split all the bills yet. LOL

Two words:

Dave Ramsey



(Saved our marriage and our financial lives....)

BrownEyedG1rl

This is kinda personal, but it also helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:

1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?


For me the answer is NO to all since I've got the woman I really wanted, I have all the support in the world, and being single means I'd have to wear my pants to ground to get any look these days.

Wow....so weird that you asked these questions. After TWO YEARS of asking myself these exact same questions, I FINALLY decided that I'm NOT going to settle and I deserve to be happy! Three weeks ago I told my husband that I want a divorce. We have 2 children and I had a lot of feeling very selfish going on. Took me a long time to get over that. Still not completely over it. Life is short and I cannot live the rest of it with someone that I feel out of love with and does not make me happy. I did kinda feel like he was holding me back to. I want to travel, he never wanted to. I want to go to college again too and just never really got around to it. Yes, I want to be single again. Be by myself for awhile and just breathe.

BrownEyedG1rl

1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

I believe this is the best I deserve... and I believe I deserve a LOT! Is he perfect? No. No one is. But he's RIGHT for me.

2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

Nope. I can't imagine how he could possibly be more supportive.

3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?

No! I run a dating advice forum. I get daily reminders why I wouldn't want to be "out there" again.

Where is this forum you speak of????

joeygirl84

I'd give anything to be married to my husband for a bajillion years... the last 6 have been amazing despite health trials. I have an amazing hubby.

kapeluza

I have to agree with the other poster.... The more I hear about people talk about their husbands on this forum the more I appreciate mine.

AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!

ninerbuff

I have to agree with the other poster.... The more I hear about people talk about their husbands on this forum the more I appreciate mine.

AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!

You're telling this to the wrong person(s). Go tell him.

ziggy67

1. Yes, I think I did settle for my spouse...I had just left school when I met him and married him when I was 20. Here was a good looking guy with a job, a car and a house....at the time I just couldn't believe my luck!

2. No, my husband is very easy going and has always supported me...although I'll admit.we are both very set in our ways now after 35 years of marriage and 2 grown up kids...our marriage is about give and take in equal measure and we know each other so well.

3. No, I've never wished to be single again. The thought fills me with dread..I honestly don't know what I'd do without him.

Rae6503

1. No...

2. He could volunteer to watch the kids and push me out to do things more but that's about it. He's supporting me through grad school. He'll keep the kids away when I work out (if he's home and they are awake). He helps me eat well, mountain bikes with me, snowboards with me, etc.

3. Sometimes I think live would be easier if I didn't have children but really I don't wish I was single or that I didn't have children, I wish I had a full time live in nanny.

auntiebabs

... helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:

And those of us who aren't...

1. No, I DID NOT SETTLE.... I did not get married. I had opportunities, but to be honest there are times when I wish I HAD settled.

I would have had kids. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted to be a Mom, that ship has sailed without me. I didn't want to married the wrong man just so I could be a Mom. That's not really good for kids.

Maybe, I threw away chances with kind companionable men because I was looking for big over the moon, soulmate kind of love.

2. Yes, Society really is geared toward married couples. While marriage is hard work, there is lots that's hard about being single too. I know the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.... There are pluses and minuses to everything.

I always imagine life could be much less work if there was someone to cooperate with on the minutiae of life. I cook dinner, you clean-up. I get the car serviced, you mow the lawn. I clean the bathroom, you vacuum the livingroom. It seems there would be more time for fun. Actually, it seems like just having someone to do those day-to-day things with would make life more fun.

Now, I know every married person out there is screaming at the top of their lungs about all the added responsibilities of marriage and kids and how cushy I have it.

3. Truly, there are times I am grateful that I am single.
• My husband never embarasses me in public.
---never uses the last of the TP
---never leaves his dirty socks on the floor (that's my job)
---never picks fights
---never leave the gas tank on empty
• I never have problems with my In-laws
• We never argue about what's for dinner or what to watch on TV or how ratty my big terry robe looks.
• I can buy whatever I want or save enough to feel safe.
• I'm not built for conflict and that's inevitable as part of a couple.

I see power struggles my friends and family go through with their spouses. To me it seems if you're not on the same team what's the sense?

kapeluza

I have to agree with the other poster.... The more I hear about people talk about their husbands on this forum the more I appreciate mine.

AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!

You're telling this to the wrong person(s). Go tell him.

Oh, I do. Daily.

ninerbuff

... helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:

And those of us who aren't...

1. No, I DID NOT SETTLE.... I did not get married. I had opportunities, but to be honest there are times when I wish I HAD settled.

I would have had kids. I ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanted to be a Mom, that ship has sailed without me. I didn't want to married the wrong man just so I could be a Mom. That's not really good for kids.

Maybe, I threw away chances with kind companionable men because I was looking for big over the moon, soulmate kind of love.

2. Yes, Society really is geared toward married couples. While marriage is hard work, there is lots that's hard about being single too. I know the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.... There are pluses and minuses to everything.

I always imagine life could be much less work if there was someone to cooperate with on the minutiae of life. I cook dinner, you clean-up. I get the car serviced, you mow the lawn. I clean the bathroom, you vacuum the livingroom. It seems there would be more time for fun. Actually, it seems like just having someone to do those day-to-day things with would make life more fun.

Now, I know every married person out there is screaming at the top of their lungs about all the added responsibilities of marriage and kids and how cushy I have it.

3. Truly, there are times I am grateful that I am single.
• My husband never embarasses me in public.
---never uses the last of the TP
---never leaves his dirty socks on the floor (that's my job)
---never picks fights
---never leave the gas tank on empty
• I never have problems with my In-laws
• We never argue about what's for dinner or what to watch on TV or how ratty my big terry robe looks.
• I can buy whatever I want or save enough to feel safe.
• I'm not built for conflict and that's inevitable as part of a couple.

I see power struggles my friends and family go through with their spouses. To me it seems if you're not on the same team what's the sense?

I liked it. I get to see another perspective of life.

infamousmk

I was married once before and knew I was settling, and that ended up in divorce. I'm engaged now and I know I'm not settling this time. My boyfriend is amazing. I do feel like we can achieve anything we set our minds to because of the respect and love we have.

All that being said, sometimes I do wish I could be single again. Not because I don't love my partner or loving being his future wife, but because I was very good at being single and that time in my life was really important to who I am now.

raevynn

The first time I married, it was because I was marrying the father of my baby, with whom I got pregnant when I was 15.

That was a disaster that lasted 19 years (plus 2 years before we married).

After my divorce, I dated a few guys. They all had various, well, shortcomings.
Through it all, my best friend kept telling me, "Don't settle - you deserve better"
My dating filter kept improving, and the guys had less shortcomings, yet my best friend kept telling me "don't settle"...

Twelve years ago, I married my best friend. He was right - any other guy would have been settling!

He is still my very best friend, and my best cheerleader, support, in every area of my life, from my career, to my college work, to my eating and workout!

I haven't wished I was single since I found myself in his arms!

sillygoose1977

I definitely settled for my ex. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it until it was too late. The man I am with now is extremely supportive and pushes me to be my very best. Without him, I wouldn't be what I am today. I wouldn't be a cyclist, or a backpacker, or a fantasy football champion. I hope that I am as big of a cheerleader for him as he is to me.

The only thing I miss about being single is a having super clean house.

angryguy77

I have to agree with the other poster.... The more I hear about people talk about their husbands on this forum the more I appreciate mine.

AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!

You're telling this to the wrong person(s). Go tell him.

not really what I was getting at. I don't take these threads too serious.

ninerbuff

I definitely settled for my ex. Unfortunately, I didn't realize it until it was too late. The man I am with now is extremely supportive and pushes me to be my very best. Without him, I wouldn't be what I am today. I wouldn't be a cyclist, or a backpacker, or a fantasy football champion. I hope that I am as big of a cheerleader for him as he is to me.

The only thing I miss about being single is a having super clean house.

Talking fantasy I had my draft yesterday. Here's my team on a 14 team league

Rodgers(QB)
MJD(RB)
D.Thomas(RB)
VJAX(WR)
Austin(WR)
Gonzalez(TE)
Stevie Johnson (RB/WR/TE)
Crosby(K)
SF (DEF)

Feel pretty good and my bench is just fair.