How do you handle self esteem?

Nikki8287

I have been struggling with low self esteem and anxiety pretty much my whole life. As soon as I hit my teen years all the way up till now. This past year it got so bad that my mother was worried and convinced me to see a therapist. It did help to talk to someone about things but eventually I stopped going (insurance issues). Whenever I looked in the mirror I would always focus on one or two things that I hated about myself. My doctor put me on anxiety meds a few months ago and things have gotten a little better. I know I cannot be alone on this because every woman has something they pick at about themselves. What do you do to keep your head up? When it seems like nothing anyone says will make you see how pretty and awesome you are. I would love to have some feedback and advice.

Nikki

bluemoonrise

Instead of focusing on the one or two things that you don't like, next time you in look in the mirror - look carefully at the features you do like. You are a gorgeous girl, so I couldn't believe it that you actually found something you didn't like about the way you look. But thats from my eyes, and you wouldn't have guessed how you appear to a complete stranger.

Everyone has issues, even the girl you think is leading the most perfect life has face/body issues that she is not comfortable with. Keep smiling - you'll see how people are drawn to you naturally, and then you'll realize you really don't need to change - and that might help you feel better. Honestly, the last thing I would've thought seeing a picture of you is that you have low self-esteem, so that goes to show that you may be overlooking a lot of your naturally beautiful features. Chin UP!!

If you are having a real bad day, try getting a manicure/facial/pedicure - spend some time on yourself, and your self-esteem will thank you.

MamaBear05

I agree with bluemoonrise. I would also ask, what are the things that bother you and why? Are some of them things that you have some control over and change in a healthy way like body weight, acne, etc? Are they things that cannot be or should not be changed?

For example, I have always disliked my profile very much but I have learned to be proud of it. It is part my mom and part my dad and I am grateful. I have thought about some cosmetic procedures to reshape it a bit but then I think about my son and how much he looks like me. I love so much that people look at him and know he is my son. I also want him to know that he is wonderful the way he is and we were made the way we are for a reason. I would be a hypocrit if I made those changes.

I am white as a ghost...like glow in the dark white...and I have always been very embarrassed by it. I am 35 and spent most of my life in jeans because I hated how white I was. I went and got a spray tan one time and my 5 year old asked me why I did that. He told me he didn't like and I shouldn't do it because I am beautiful the way I am. That made me cry. It made me realize how unimportant my skin color is.

I grew up with terrible acne. Just a few years ago I made the choice to do something about it. I took accutane and discovered a great skin care routine through my dermatologist. That is an example of something that seriously diminished my self-esteem that I was able to find a healthy, reasonable solution to.

One other example, I have always had large legs. Even when I was rather scrawny in high school, I did not have the cute model legs I wanted. It has only been in the past year that I have actually felt blessed to have such large legs. I have so much power in them and my goal has shifted from making them "model-like" to making them a source of power and athleticism. yes, I have fat pockets I want to get rid of and I am working on that but the improvement in those is more a secondary benefit to my first purpose.

I think a great deal of the boost in my self esteem has come from two areas...having a child and wanting to be the best I can be from him, and training/getting in shape for a purpose other than appearance. I am training for an event next year and that has given me such a positive outlook on how I train, what I eat and meeting my goals. I used to get so discouraged in my past get in shape journies because I wasn't seeing a difference fast enough. Now, that I am focused on other goals I am really seeing more of a difference in my shape.

Sorry for such a long response. I just wanted to let you know that it is normal to have some self-esteem issues. But do not let them affect your life. I regret that I let my issues keep me from enjoying life even more when I was younger. Look for the positives in yourself, even in the things you don't like. Be reasonable in the things you want to change. There is nothing wrong with wanting to change some things, just do it for the right reasons and in a healthy manner.