Co-Worker's Comments

AMA983

I have lost 7 pounds so far and one of my female co-workers noticed today. She asked if I was trying to lose weight or if it was a "happy accident". I told her that I am working towards losing weight and getting fit and toned. Her reply? "Don't be discouraged if you can't lose it all." This really hurt me and it was irritating as well because I consider her a friend. I don't think it's coming from jealousy, but it discouraged me a bit. So far, my loss has been slow but steady and I realize it's going to take a while. However, her comment has made my fears about not being able to do this re-surface. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

NA_Willie

F her in the A

xalligator

F her in the A

This.

becky_turcotte

We are all so hard on ourselves, so to hear it from a friend is not help at all. I know its hard, but ignor her. Or even better, prove her wrong. Keep pushing forward. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

foxycraft

It sounds like she was trying to be nice and supportive but said it in a backhanded kind of way. There might be some jealousy on her part that you're actually taking care of yourself and it's working. So as hard as it is try not to let it get to you. You're doing a great job!

brucedelaney

Not recently, but I can tell you that I have in the past noticed when my wife or I ever talk about trying to lose weight, tone up, eat right and they're not currently "on the same page," that people seem to love controversy and will either intentionally or un-intentionally sabotage your efforts. It can be anything from negative comments to something as extreme as bringing in sweets like cake or donuts to share.

The best advice I can give is, ignore the comments, commit to proving them wrong and come back here to the people who want to see you succeed and will do everything in their own power to help you on your journey.

thedreamhazer

I have lost 7 pounds so far and one of my female co-workers noticed today. She asked if I was trying to lose weight or if it was a "happy accident". I told her that I am working towards losing weight and getting fit and toned. Her reply? "Don't be discouraged if you can't lose it all." This really hurt me and it was irritating as well because I consider her a friend. I don't think it's coming from jealousy, but it discouraged me a bit. So far, my loss has been slow but steady and I realize it's going to take a while. However, her comment has made my fears about not being able to do this re-surface. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Sometimes, people don't fully consider how something sounds before it leaves their mouth. I've done this. I'm sure you've done this. And your coworker just did this as well. I would try not to take it to heart -- it sounded mean. It WAS a little mean. But I'm sure she meant it kindly, and not in the snotty way it came out. It was just one of those thoughts that pours out before we have the chance to censor ourselves.

Keep it up! You're doing awesome, and a little coworker-word-vomit isn't going to derail you!

TavistockToad

i started losing weight before i started wedding dress shopping, so that i could be the size i want to be before i bought the dress so i know exactly how its going to look... i have lost about 14 pounds, and one of my (supposedly) very close friends told me i would really struggle to keep the weight off till next year...

some people are just jealous and mean... and it could be that she cant lose the weight she wants to, so she assumes that you cant either? my friends comment really made me mad, but i just work on the basis that i know i will prove her wrong, and i'm sure u will too.

computerwizsheri

I don't think we always realize just what it is we are saying sometimes; Maybe her remark was a reflection of her own personal experience. I guess weight loss can be a sensitive subject and might bring up some jealousy as she sees you succeeding.

rachelhohenbrink

Oh honey sorry to hear that. I am a hair stylist and I work with 23 other female hair stylists not to mention all the women clients that grace my chair. Take what others say with a grain of salt. You can't let others discourage you. Almost all the girls I work with are really overweight and I think sometimes they feel a bit threatened by my fitness. I believe it makes them uncomfortable about their own choices. You will do great! Good luck to ya!

mageepilot

Yes, when I mentioned that a co-worker had said I was looking good to my friend she said 'that's nice,but don't stop there. That's what I did'. I'm sure she didn't mean to be discouraging. Everyone looks at things differently. And she was projecting. Maybe your co-worker was projecting her lack of success on you. So try not to take it personally.

Chastityx

It sounds like she was trying to be nice and supportive but said it in a backhanded kind of way. There might be some jealousy on her part that you're actually taking care of yourself and it's working. So as hard as it is try not to let it get to you. You're doing a great job!

I agree, take it with a grain of salt and do it for yourself

ajbeans

Maybe she's tried to lose weight and was unsuccessful, and was just trying to be supportive in saying that it's ok if things don't go as planned. It's like when your kids are struggling with something and you tell them that it's ok if they can't do it perfectly. Don't be angry at her. It sounds like she was trying to be helpful.

farmerred

I've lost 18 pounds since May - coming off slow - but not one person at work has said anything to me other than my close friend who knows I am trying to lose weight. Every person is different - and yes you can lose all you want. We just have to be committed and determined. Maybe the co-worker just didn't think before she spoke. Don't let it discourage you. Keep up the good work!

thadreamer

I agree with becky_turcotte, PROVE HER WRONG!!! Make her comments a challenge and a driving force to show people anything is possible.

Grab a hold of the fact you have been succeeding!!! You have lost 7 pounds, not gained it. You have moved forward, not backwards (PROBABLY EVEN WITH UPS AND DOWNS IN YOUR WEIGHT LOSS, YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED) due to that fact there is nothing to fear. As human beings we are capable of far more than we give ourselves credit FOR!!!!

YOU WILL SUCCEED!!! You the affirmation everyday... I will lose it all no matter what, I will, I can!!! :happy:

traceyj3

We are all so hard on ourselves, so to hear it from a friend is not help at all. I know its hard, but ignor her. Or even better, prove her wrong. Keep pushing forward. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

I agree, regardless of her real intent, you can choose which way you take her comment and allow it to fuel your determination.

Amo_Angelus

Have you thought for a second what she meant? When you said that you were trying to loose weight you probably came off as worried and unsure. She probably thought you weren't seeing the results you were hoping for and needed some encouragement. Does this sound like it could be true? Even if that's not what you meant to sound like, could she have thought it?

Now think, what's the one thing people are most unsure about with dieting, the biggest problem? That last 10lbs. So her thought may have been, well don't worry if you can't loose it all. She's obviouly impressed because she's noticed that you've lot some and she's not coming off as jealous. She probably meant it in a supportive way, from a good place. Don't worry if you can't loose it all BECAUE you've already done a great job and she's impressed and will be impressed no matter how much you loose because it's a great acheivement. Does this sound like the kind of thing you'd expect from her? The kind of thing he probably meant to convey? Might it have become a little lost in traslation a you are afraid of not loosing it all and that clung to the words of praise and turned them ugly? It's a very distinct possibility isn't it?

She' you're friend, go over to her and ask her what she meant by it. She'll probably be horrified that she hurt you. It was probably the lat thing on her mind, but she probably didn't understand how it could have been mistranslated.

blessedindeed

Keep doing what you're doing........the proof is in the mirror!!!! Keep it moving!!!

Tegan74

Everyone around me has told me I dont need to lose weight. I'm 5' 6" and weigh 181 lbs. uuummmm where exactly do they get that I dont need to drop some weight?!?!? My stomach sticks out farther than my boobs!! Most of my weight is in my stomach/back/arms (my legs are smokin hot sexy ~ I have 1 lil tiny area that needs to go away on them but thats it) so to me I can damn sure see it!! I know its a version of being supportive but at the same time I dont like to be lied to or pacified ~ I'd much rather them say that I'm not that big but maybe losing a few lbs wouldnt hurt or something on that order. I mean come on, I know what the scale says, I know what size pants I wear and I damn sure know what I see when I look in the mirror!

millionsofpeaches

Hater. Ignore and walk away.

Snakey74

I believe she issued you a challenge! Remember what Gen. George S. Patton said:
“Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.”

Take that, unsupportive friend!