appearance or fitness? Women? Men?

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  • jennyonthespot
    jennyonthespot Posts: 98 Member
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    The overriding factor for me was how I feel when I'm working out and eating right. I feel great when my clothes fit and I know I can go out and run a few miles and feel refreshed afterward. I don't like what I see in the mirror when I'm heavier, so it's definitely partially appearance driven, but a large part of it is a control issue. When I am in control of my body, I feel more in control of other things in my life. Or possibly just more calm about not having control. I like that I can push myself to do a particular workout routine and my body will respond. I will get stronger and have more stamina. The firmer quads I get are physical evidence of that. I like the way they look, but it's more important that I love what they represent.
  • MelyTheMommy
    MelyTheMommy Posts: 3
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    My motivation is centered around appearance. If I thought I looked good fat, then I'd be fine staying fat.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    I wanted to be fitter, but that also meant an improved appearance as I think fit is beautiful.
  • HMonsterX
    HMonsterX Posts: 3,000 Member
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    For me its appearance first. Ive always been fairly healthy blood pressure etc. The scales are just a way of putting your progress into a clear visible form, as its hard to see a change in yourself, as the loss is so gradual, and you look at yourself every day. Added health, strength, stamina, are great, but at the MOMENT its purely a by-product, as is muscle gain. Muscle definition comes not so much from gaining more muscle, but losing the fat that's covering it. Im now noticing muscles i never knew existed, as the fat covering them goes down.

    Once i lose all the excess fat, THEN ill cut my sugar etc and do more resistance training to try to gain muscle.
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
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    I want to look amazing but i also want to run faster, dance longer, hit the ball harder, and kick higher then whoever is next to me. :)
  • kandrews24
    kandrews24 Posts: 610 Member
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    For me, appearance and fitness are the same (since my approach is a natural one). I want to look and feel good (to myself and to others). I'm in it for the long haul. Folks who take diet pills or smoke to keep their weight down are not fit and eventually look horrid.
  • stephyy4632
    stephyy4632 Posts: 947 Member
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    my goal is to first be around and healthy for my kids and secondly to look better ( I was unhappy with how I looked ) the key word there is (I) I`m doing this for me no one else and it feels great :)
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
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    Like most, to look better naked ;)
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
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    It started out 100% appearance. It took me about 30lbs lost to realize how unhealthy I actually was so it's turned a little bit more to that.

    My goal is still to look good, it's good for my self-esteem (which was non-exhistant before MFP) and good for my career. The improved health is just a big bonus for me!
  • End6ame
    End6ame Posts: 903
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    When is that last time you saw a professional athlete that did not have a desirable appearance? Train for performance and appearance will be a positive side effect.
  • adamcf
    adamcf Posts: 126
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    Wow, a lot of responses. This is really interesting to me. When I had mentioned the question about changing my goals, it was whether or not I should go for a better BMI and lose 5 more pounds. I was intrigued with the similarity in responses from women and the differences between women and men.

    From all of your responses here, it seems that women tend to be concerned with appearance towards others and not just themselves. And being fit is the way to create that appearance that is desirable to others. As men, we tend to think, women who value there looks are doing so to please us men. But I think it's more than that. I think it's because women feel disconnected from people. They want connection and a good appearance is that starting point. I don't think it's to just connect with one person, it's to connect with many people.

    As for men. I think we want control. Control over ourselves. Being fit is a way to maintain control in ourselves so we can be distinguished from others.

    It's interesting that one way is to connect and the other way is to separate.
  • Michelle_M2002
    Michelle_M2002 Posts: 301 Member
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    Honestly, for me it's both.

    I hated the way I looked and I hated the way I felt. I was always tired and got headaches often. I have three small children and I want to set a healthy example so that they KNOW how to eat healthy and so that they KNOW that exercise and fitness is important. My hope is that they will never get to the point I got to, and will value health and fitness from an early age.

    The first big motivator for me, honestly, was the appearance though.

    God bless!
  • bluebird321
    bluebird321 Posts: 733 Member
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    Healthy always looks better. Decent lean muscle mass is a nice side affect
  • h3h8m3
    h3h8m3 Posts: 455 Member
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    There's a lot of confusion on this thread... seems like most of the men answered what their GOAL is, and the women mostly answered what their MOTIVATION is. I see these as different things.

    Yes of course, if your goal is to be fit and healthy you will also improve your appearance. But we don't really get to choose what our motivations are. It's just... what clicks for YOU.

    For me, a big tipping point in my weight loss was seeing a video of me, in a professional setting, where I looked HUGE. It was embarrassing to me, and it MOTIVATED me to start getting healthy.

    Now, my goals... they are all health and fitness related. I am aiming for a healthy body fat %. I am training hard to be able to run faster and longer. I am working out many times a day so i can get better at pullups, pushups, and situps. I love that I can go ride my bike 40 miles on Saturday and when I'm done I feel like I could go do another 40.

    I don't want to project my personality onto others... but I am a very goal-driven person. I set a goal and I go after it hard until I achieve it. For me that's all numbers and accomplishments. But my appearance was a big part of that 'click' that finally got me to get serious about this.
  • h0taru
    h0taru Posts: 43
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    I'm 30, a woman and my main goal to loose weigth is health. I am afraid of dying young, like my father or other people in my family.

    I started to loose weigth before starting MFP. Now I became more attractive, but I just don't know how to manage it.... I was not thinking of that actually.

    edit: and sorry, i don't have enough good english language to understand the difference between motivation and goal...
  • alyssamiller77
    alyssamiller77 Posts: 891 Member
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    I have a mix of goals. I definitely have a goal weight I'm shooting for but I consider that the least important of my goals. I also have appearance goals, including fitting into a pair of pants I couldn't wear before, getting comments from people that haven't seen me in a long time, etc. I also have fitness goals that include completing a triathlon and some on-field soccer goals. Finally, with a history of both heart disease and diabetes in my family, I have some goals centered around health. They're hard to measure in quantifiable terms and ultimately only time (i.e. the length of my life) will tell the story there.

    Numbers are just that, numbers and nothing more. What I found worked for me was doing some soul searching and figuring out what is important to me. At the end of the day, I don't care if I'm weigh 150 or 200 as long as I'm not giggly, I can still run with the "big boys" on the soccer fields, and I have the strength and energy that I want. I want to have muscle definition and not look like a pregneant man (or one that could use the assistance of a bra). So those are the things I choose to focus on.
  • walkwithme1
    walkwithme1 Posts: 492 Member
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    For me it is for my health. I want to feel better, looking better just comes along with it and gives me more incentive to continue with the exercise and healthy eating.
  • alyssamiller77
    alyssamiller77 Posts: 891 Member
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    There's a lot of confusion on this thread... seems like most of the men answered what their GOAL is, and the women mostly answered what their MOTIVATION is. I see these as different things.

    Yes of course, if your goal is to be fit and healthy you will also improve your appearance. But we don't really get to choose what our motivations are. It's just... what clicks for YOU.

    For me, a big tipping point in my weight loss was seeing a video of me, in a professional setting, where I looked HUGE. It was embarrassing to me, and it MOTIVATED me to start getting healthy.

    Now, my goals... they are all health and fitness related. I am aiming for a healthy body fat %. I am training hard to be able to run faster and longer. I am working out many times a day so i can get better at pullups, pushups, and situps. I love that I can go ride my bike 40 miles on Saturday and when I'm done I feel like I could go do another 40.

    I don't want to project my personality onto others... but I am a very goal-driven person. I set a goal and I go after it hard until I achieve it. For me that's all numbers and accomplishments. But my appearance was a big part of that 'click' that finally got me to get serious about this.

    First, you and I are very similar. My picture to the left was the one that I saw that motivated me. I'm also very similar to you about goals. My wife calls it 0-60 syndrome. Any time I pick up a new hobby, activity, etc I set a goal and jump into it with both feet going hard until I reach that goal. It's just the way I am. I don't want to do anything if I'm not going to be successful at it.

    You bring up an interesting point about goals vs motivation. Goals have to be measurable by definition. So it is very hard to set an appearance based goal because it is such a subjective item. This is why we tend to get mired in numbers. However what I did was set some non-traditional goals. I made some of those NSV's we all talk about (getting into smaller sized clothes, getting compliments, etc) part of my goals. I tried to supplement any numbers based goal with a non-number based goal.

    I think this might be the reason you see some of the responses as focusing on motivations. Their goals, are not really goals in the sense that they are measurable, but I do believe they have an end state in mind and that's what they're working for. Harder to express without a measurable item, but no less important or effective.
  • jennor8or
    jennor8or Posts: 204 Member
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    I think that usually for women its all about feeling better about who we are...building our sense of self-- and often times for a woman you feel better about yourself when you are happy with your appearance. personally i'm more goal oriented and tend to feel better about myself when i accomplish things, so for me its about hitting a certain number, completing a program (30 ds, insanity, etc), improving my numbers for a 5k, etc... but i think that for both men and women its about building up your sense of self and your confidence but genders generally find confidence in different things
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
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    Twenty pounds ago it started out as appearance. Mentally I was beating myself up about how unhappy I became with my appearance. Losing twenty pounds made me much happier on the inside and more self-confident. Now, I want to maintain that and exercise and eat heathier so I can be stronger. I'm not getting any younger and don't want to be find myself elderly, out of shape, and having health problems. You look great by the way!

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