Cannot stop the madness!

cparter

MFP is a great site but at times I wonder does it help and hurt. I have seen it help change the mindset of some and bedevil others.

The positives:

1. A place to keep track

2. A society of misfits on the same mission

3. Education on self-control (well, for some based on proven methods and self education)

4. An excellent food data base

The Negatives:

1. Supports anorexia (not intentionally)

2. Does not discrimate (which is good) but allows fad diets/starvation/binge dieting-purging/scale axiety

3. Draws misfits from different moral backgrounds

4. Does not have a way to protect the kids who also use the site (see 3 in Negatives) <--- Although I am not a prune but everything has its place i.e., walls vice message boards

5. Does not teach people to be comfortable in their own skin (i.e., does not stress health over weight)

I saw a few profiles that really tugged at my heart where young ladies were dying to weigh 80 lbs or so and were already quite skinny (scarey skinny). I saw a few profiles/message boards where people are on HSG diets, starvation diets, supplement diets, diets, diets, diets.

It is a sad fact that we can bring many tools to the table but not everyone will eat from the same trow. Some will truly make a life style change and embrace sensible eating and exercise while others have become obsessed and is motivated by fear.

The site is such a great place to be but the dark side is that it unwittingly encourages the negatives in many cases. Yet, there are many success stories so all is not lost but if only the multitudes would find common ground to save those who ultimately harm themselves. Self image has become such a high light as in I look great in the this bikini, I feel sexy, I got to have the perfect body, etc. until the joy of change has become a flicker.

I wish all of you the best and I know I cannot change the mindset on anyone set on the destruction. That lies within the individual.

Let peace, hope and love endure in you all. I hope those who truly want to make a healthy change will be faithful in that challenge.

--- Los

chrissym78

very true!

bry_all01

3. Draws misfits from different moral backgrounds <~~~ ME!!!

I joke, that was well said, Carlos.

tburnett80

100% True.

PhilipByrne

3. Draws misfits from different moral backgrounds <~~~ ME!!!

I joke, that was well said, Carlos.

I must admit I was kinda nodding along until I read that line.

What the hell does that mean?

Fit4Vet

Such words of wisdom. I am impressed (although not suprised as I know you). It is unfortunate that some people allow the quest to be skinny overtake their better judgement. Even the strong sometimes find themselves with an ED when so much of the day is spent on what to eat, when to eat & how to eat it - in order to get the weight off & become the healthy person they want to be.

Very well said, my dear.

bry_all01

3. Draws misfits from different moral backgrounds <~~~ ME!!!

I joke, that was well said, Carlos.

I must admit I was kinda nodding along until I read that line.

What the hell does that mean?

I am not exacly sure what he meant, but my thought process on it was snarky people, which I have had the tendency to do, once people started pushing buttons. (FYI - that was just my understanding of it - the bickering and no, you're wrong, I'm right stuff that goes on all day long over exercise calories, HCG diets, etc...)

cparter

3. Draws misfits from different moral backgrounds <~~~ ME!!!

I joke, that was well said, Carlos.

I must admit I was kinda nodding along until I read that line.

What the hell does that mean?

It means that some people goes beyond edgey to profane. I also stated that is ok on walls within your friend network but kids read the message boards so some of it goes beyond boundaries.

joseph9

Right on, Carlos.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I agree, Carlos, this is a great post. I have to say, however, that one of the things that I like about this site is that so many people are doing it right and there's a large population of those people who start to get really offended when someone takes a "short cut" and fad diets or starts talking pills or what not . . . I kind of like that personally. I've also found that there's a ton of support to feel comfortable in your own skin, and to make what's under that skin healthier. I've gotten some awesome support on here, from friends like you, I've lost my weight and redefined my perspective. That being said, I'm one of the lucky ones because my food issues (this time around) were not related to emotional issues just indulgences. Some day I'll be able to deal with the cellulite on my *kitten*, aside from that I credit MFP and the people I've met here with helping me stay on track. Smooches!

lor007

Misfits are a bad thing?

limismith

Some people are going to do unhealthy things regardless of whether there is a website to support them or not. I definately get way more HEALTHY support here than bad influence. But there will always be someone who is looking for the easy fix - pills, undereating, and fad dieting - whether they are on here, or some random blog, or just "dieting" with friends.

At least on here there is a good amount of good exposure to healthy habits... if a person wants to cut corners, or doesn't have the common sense to know that 500 calories a day is bad, then there's not much I can say or do to change that!

cparter

Some people are going to do unhealthy things regardless of whether there is a website to support them or not. I definately get way more HEALTHY support here than bad influence. But there will always be someone who is looking for the easy fix - pills, undereating, and fad dieting - whether they are on here, or some random blog, or just "dieting" with friends.

At least on here there is a good amount of good exposure to healthy habits... if a person wants to cut corners, or doesn't have the common sense to know that 500 calories a day is bad, then there's not much I can say or do to change that!

Then we are in agreement.

MrsSWW

Some people are going to do unhealthy things regardless of whether there is a website to support them or not. I definately get way more HEALTHY support here than bad influence. But there will always be someone who is looking for the easy fix - pills, undereating, and fad dieting - whether they are on here, or some random blog, or just "dieting" with friends.

At least on here there is a good amount of good exposure to healthy habits... if a person wants to cut corners, or doesn't have the common sense to know that 500 calories a day is bad, then there's not much I can say or do to change that!

Then we are in agreement.

Hear-hear!! Well said indeed!

thedreamhazer

At least on here there is a good amount of good exposure to healthy habits... if a person wants to cut corners, or doesn't have the common sense to know that 500 calories a day is bad, then there's not much I can say or do to change that!

This is true, in that you can't take the responsibility for someone else. But it's not true in that many people who suffer from anorexia DO know how bad it is. They KNOW that 500 calories a day is unhealthy. The sickness is not being able to allow yourself to consider your health over the compulsion to not eat and to lose weight.

The underground Ana community on MFP saddens and scares me. I have seriously considered leaving the site because of it. I sometimes feel like being a part of the site implicates me in continuing their sickness. But of course, that's not true. But I will continue to cringe every time a well-intentioned person uses the term "Thinspiration" or quotes Kate Moss's "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."

CommittohealthCHANGED

Great statement. You are so true on this.

Aries03

Bump

sinclare

Great post.

I just have to add my two cents.

These forums support and are encouraging to those whose lifelong eating habits have labeled them obese. The success stories show how true this is. And I applaud them, learning to eat to fuel your body and not eat for emotional/other reasons are difficult habits to overcome.

That being said, these forums discriminate against those who have coped with their emotional issues by under eating.

I have life-long habits of distorted eating, mostly under eating. I am trying to learn to be better to my body, feed it nutrition, care for it and not neglect it. However, some days 1200 calories is a pretty big number to try to reach. This doesn't mean I am pro-ana, or that I am crazy; I am just struggling and doing my best, like everyone else. Another "misfit."

True, some girls use this site to count to 500 every day. And that is a sickness. But some of them are really trying to get well. They need our support and compassion, not just ridicule and disdain.

cparter

Great post.

I just have to add my two cents.

These forums support and are encouraging to those whose lifelong eating habits have labeled them obese. The success stories show how true this is. And I applaud them, learning to eat to fuel your body and not eat for emotional/other reasons are difficult habits to overcome.

That being said, these forums discriminate against those who have coped with their emotional issues by under eating.

I have life-long habits of distorted eating, mostly under eating. I am trying to learn to be better to my body, feed it nutrition, care for it and not neglect it. However, some days 1200 calories is a pretty big number to try to reach. This doesn't mean I am pro-ana, or that I am crazy; I am just struggling and doing my best, like everyone else. Another "misfit."

True, some girls use this site to count to 500 every day. And that is a sickness. But some of them are really trying to get well. They need our support and compassion, not just ridicule and disdain.

That is one of the greater parts of my post is recognizing that mental sickness and how the site does not seem to provide a tool to ward it off for those who want to remain in that mental state. I look at it as a sad picture and not with ridicule but others look at it in disdain which is a moral/social choice.

The point is, the site has an abundance of positive aspects but with the good comes the bad. I applaud you for your committment though and I am here to cheer you on and give you moral support in any way you would like.

thedreamhazer

Great post.

I just have to add my two cents.

These forums support and are encouraging to those whose lifelong eating habits have labeled them obese. The success stories show how true this is. And I applaud them, learning to eat to fuel your body and not eat for emotional/other reasons are difficult habits to overcome.

That being said, these forums discriminate against those who have coped with their emotional issues by under eating.

I have life-long habits of distorted eating, mostly under eating. I am trying to learn to be better to my body, feed it nutrition, care for it and not neglect it. However, some days 1200 calories is a pretty big number to try to reach. This doesn't mean I am pro-ana, or that I am crazy; I am just struggling and doing my best, like everyone else. Another "misfit."

True, some girls use this site to count to 500 every day. And that is a sickness. But some of them are really trying to get well. They need our support and compassion, not just ridicule and disdain.

Very, very true. I've seen through some very close friends just how much of a struggle it is. And you are absolutely right -- there is a lot of cruelty where there needs to be kindness. I think that people have the impression, though, that they need to "tell it like it is" ... which is, in reality, not going to be something those suffering from anorexia/bulimia haven't heard before. You don't yell at somebody for being depressed. Why would you yell at somebody for their eating disorder?

You're right, this site is biased. It is also potentially very triggering. A scary combination.

sinclare

Great post.

I just have to add my two cents.

These forums support and are encouraging to those whose lifelong eating habits have labeled them obese. The success stories show how true this is. And I applaud them, learning to eat to fuel your body and not eat for emotional/other reasons are difficult habits to overcome.

That being said, these forums discriminate against those who have coped with their emotional issues by under eating.

I have life-long habits of distorted eating, mostly under eating. I am trying to learn to be better to my body, feed it nutrition, care for it and not neglect it. However, some days 1200 calories is a pretty big number to try to reach. This doesn't mean I am pro-ana, or that I am crazy; I am just struggling and doing my best, like everyone else. Another "misfit."

True, some girls use this site to count to 500 every day. And that is a sickness. But some of them are really trying to get well. They need our support and compassion, not just ridicule and disdain.

That is one of the greater parts of my post is recognizing that mental sickness and how the site does not seem to provide a tool to ward it off for those who want to remain in that mental state. I look at it as a sad picture and not with ridicule but others look at it in disdain which is a moral/social choice.

The point is, the site has an abundance of positive aspects but with the good comes the bad. I applaud you for your committment though and I am here to cheer you on and give you moral support in any way you would like.

My reaction wasn't directed to you, necessarily. More like a knee-jerk response to So many threads that support people who eat fast food and donuts and mock those that struggle with getting enough calories.

Lol, just counting calories triggered me, in the beginning. Worrying about everything I ate made me crazy and feeling like a freak.

Maybe MFP needs to branch out. It's too big to support the variety of misfits.