Would you dub this a problem...

millionsofpeaches

Okay... my brother's wife is a wonderful person. Two beautiful nieces, she is a great wife/mom, and a wonderful sister in law.

With that being said... My mom brought up that she thinks that she may have a "drinking" problem. I would say that she drinks a bottle of wine every two days, I know that sometimes she will drink alone, and she always seems to be intoxicated or on her way to being so at family functions and social gatherings. I guess that I have never really given much thought to it. As far as I know she does not drink and drive... According to my brother it is at night after the girls have gone to sleep. I have gotten a few drunk dials from her on the weekends... She tends to get emotional when she has had too much to drink. Is a glass or two of wine a night considered a problem? How much is too much?

So do you think that she has a drinking problem? I am perplexed by my mother bringing it up to me... I talked to my bro about it but he drinks a beer or two a night as well, so he really doesn't get it.

Comments appreciated.

cmriverside

You don't know how much she drinks. People with substance abuse problems are master manipulators. Ask your Mom for specific reasons why she said that.

cmriverside

I know that sometimes she will drink alone, and she always seems to be intoxicated or on her way to being so at family functions and social gatherings

......and you may want to re-read your comment above....if this is true.......

charityateet

I can't say for sure because I don't know her or the whole situation - but before I started MFP I used to drink every night. I don't think I had a problem, maybe more of a habit than anything.

At family functions, I too am drunk or on my way to getting there - it's how I cope with stressful family situations - and also how I relax and relate/enjoy friends and family.

Some people don't drink at all, some drink occasionally - and some drink every night (my husband still does and I don't see a problem with it at all) I would drink more often, but I don't like how fat it makes me :drinker:

audigal2008

As long as she is NOT drinking and driving, its her body, her life. That being said her bills and kids should be looked after 1st and foremost. No question. It may not be the healthiest choice, but we didnt live her life, we dont know her whole story. She may be hiding some really awful pain in her life. Dont judge her. Good luck

JennsLosing

i dont know, i grew up in a household where my dad would have a couple beers after work almost daily, but it wasnt to the point where he was intoxicated or anything. Im just a social drinker. As long as shes not getting so drunk to where shes belligerent I dont see the huge issue. And as long as shes not drinking and driving.

PlunderBunneh

I can't get my husband to come to my family gatherings unless he has a few beers. He just isn't comfortable around my family (they are kinda drama queens...I find them easier to like after a few drinks too!).
I would suggest holding off on jumping to conclusions, and maybe finding a personal and non-offensive way to ask your brother about it, stressing that you are just worried about her welfare, not judging her.

millionsofpeaches

As long as she is NOT drinking and driving, its her body, her life. That being said her bills and kids should be looked after 1st and foremost. No question. It may not be the healthiest choice, but we didnt live her life, we dont know her whole story. She may be hiding some really awful pain in her life. Dont judge her. Good luck

She is a wonderful mother... and I am not judging. I just wanted a few opinions since my mom brought it up. I had never given it a thought before.

jonikeffer

You don't know how much she drinks. People with substance abuse problems are master manipulators. Ask your Mom for specific reasons why she said that.

Master manipulators and masters of hiding stuff. SO TRUE. My mother was a white wine drunk until she was going to be laid off, got depressed about it and stopped eating much as a result. She kept drinking plenty though and developed something called Wernicke's syndrome. Very very scary stuff, almost killed her and now she is permanently disabled. (Note: the development of Wernicke's is due to not eating while drinking a lot, don't worry about getting this as long as you eat normally.)

I don't think amount of alcohol alone determines whether you have a problem or not. When you have a problem,a lot of hiding, covering up and lying is involved. More info would be needed to know about your sis in law, I feel.

millionsofpeaches

Thanks all...

I really am thinking not a problem. My mom tends to be well... a mom.

I am positive that it is just at night... she doesn't get in a car... she is a wonderful mom (I have two wonderful nieces to show for that).

Heatherbelle_87

I need to be half way drunk to deal with my own fmaily functions, I honestly warn all "outsiders" prior to family functions

Given where as I can see an issue if she is drunk every weekend, on the flip side you have to realize that ALOT of people today have been taught that a couple of drinks is a great way to relax at night, and honestly it is! Some people let it all out on the weekends and have fun because all week they are mommy, wife, "title at work" and any other stressors. I prefer to drink alone because I dont care to be criticized if I enjoy a drink to relax me, honestly I love a mixed drink, a movie or great book, by myself!

Now as too how much is too much, my mom is toast after 2 glasses of wine and PLEASE dont give her champagne! Im a cheap date as well with liquor (I cant do wine or champagne, or beer...) My sister is toast after a couple of glasses. I have female friends who can drink twice as much and their body metabolizes the liquor quicker then mine.

Have you also thought she might be ghoraphobic? (afraid of crowds) and drinking is how she copes?

infamousmk

I'm a "drink to deal with family" kinda gal too ... and if she's doing a good job at being a mom, wife, employee, homeowner, etc. then I see no problem with it. And yeah, you and mom really don't know the whole story.

AnnaPixie

IMO 2 glasses of wine per night is NOT a drink prob. That's the recommended safe amount here in the UK. I would imagine your mum hardly drinks at all so would consider a daily drink a problem? It's all relative!! (pardon the pun).

I get emotional sometimes when drunk too, and i dont have a drink prob either. When youre drunk it just reflects in your mood sometimes.

I'd say you have your assessment of your SIL spot on - great mum etc. Nothing wrong with a drink to undwind every day :bigsmile:

i_love_vinegar

IMO 2 glasses of wine per night is NOT a drink prob. That's the recommended safe amount here in the UK. I would imagine your mum hardly drinks at all so would consider a daily drink a problem? It's all relative!! (pardon the pun).

I get emotional sometimes when drunk too, and i dont have a drink prob either. When youre drunk it just reflects in your mood sometimes.

I'd say you have your assessment of your SIL spot on - great mum etc. Nothing wrong with a drink to undwind every day :bigsmile:

Agree!

I don't drink at all (maybe once in a blue moon I'll have a sip of something), so it sounds like a LOT to me. But I don't think it is a problem as long as she isn't getting drunk when she is drinking everyday.