We are all just ticking time bombs....

Nikki206

So, a little over a week shy of my 25th birthday I’m learning a tough lesson about obesity. Most people have this, “It won’t happen to me,” mentality and I am no different. I first have to give some background before I get to what I consider my tough lessons on health so please bear with me on this. I usually would not share any of this with a bunch of people I don’t particularly “know”. The reason I am right now is because I’m not the only person who is morbidly obese. I’m not the only ticking time bomb on this website, and I hope that my scary wakeup call will help even one person become motivated before these sorts of health issues arise. I know there are so many of us skating by and living on the fact that nothing bad has happened yet but we all need to realize that at any day and at any time, any one of us could reach a point of no return or reach a point in which we receive news of some obesity related disease. So please take the time, read this, not everything will be related to you but at the end you will understand why I am sharing…
I went to the doctor for a check up on Tuesday. I had been there a month earlier for my new patient check up. I expressed my concerns about being exhausted all the time and that it did not matter whether I got 5 hours of sleep or 12 hours of sleep I still felt like I had not slept at all. I basically felt like a zombie, I would sleep 9 hours, go to work and fall asleep in the middle of typing or proofreading at my desk. It was so bad that I would go to my car and take 15 minute naps on what I like to call my “non-smokers break”. I constantly felt miserable, I was afraid to drive to work because I could feel myself drifting off. I began calling people just to stay awake; I felt that being on the phone was less dangerous than actually falling asleep. I have also suffered from anxiety for a few years, I’ve always had it mildly but it began to get worse the past two years. My best friend died our freshman year of college and since then I have had this panic inducing fear of losing the people I love. I went to a psychiatrist and got on Lexapro because the thought of my brother turning 16 and getting his driver’s license literally caused me to melt down into a panic attack. All I could think about were the potential car accidents. I had been feeling completely out of control with my weight, my anxiety, my extreme exhaustion and the more I dwelled on it the worse I felt.
Okay so now that you have some background, back to my appointment last month. I had been weaning myself off the Lexapro because I felt the need to deal with my anxiety naturally. I hated the thought of being medicated and while it made me feel “normal” I felt I needed to get off of it. Anyone who has ever tried to get off depression/anxiety meds knows what a difficult process this can be, mood swings, uncontrollable crying spells, everything. Thank goodness I have an amazing boyfriend or I’m sure he would have been gone by now. I mentioned in my first appointment that I had occasionally been getting dizzy spells and then my mouth/tongue would go numb and get tingly. I had checked my blood sugar at one point when it happened with my grandma’s meter and it was perfect so I knew it wasn’t that. They decided to do a blood panel and see what else they could find, they told me that they would have the results the following day and when I hadn’t heard from them I called and said, “I had lab work done and I haven’t heard anything. Does this fall into the no news is good news category.” I received a yes from the receptionist and I went on with my month.
When I went back in on Tuesday, I had successfully been off the Lexapro for about a week and a half and after research began to wonder if the facial numbness was some sort of anxiety symptom even though I wasn’t feeling it only when I felt anxious. A nurse practitioner came in and I told her that since my last visit, the dizzy spells and facial numbness had been occurring numerous times EVERY day now. She then asked me if anyone had gone over my lab work with me. I told her no and that I had been told it came back fine. She then went over it with me, my blood sugar level the day of the test was 43, and obviously this is something I should be aware of since my mom has the same problem. I figured if I did end up with blood sugar issues I would end up on the high blood sugar side since both my grandmas are. My vitamin D levels were EXTREMELY low. Here’s the kicker, low vitamin D can cause cognitive impairment…i.e., depression and anxiety, it can cause weight gain, fatigue, etc. My levels were so low that they had to prescribe me vitamin D because nothing I ate, drank or supplemented would get me back up to normal levels. I was instantly upset. To know that I may not have had to even take anxiety meds to get through my last year of college was very frustrating. Why hadn’t anyone ever figured this out before?
As far as the facial numbness goes, my nurse practitioner (I say “my” because as far as I’m concerned I would see her over my doctor any day. She listened, answered questions, and didn’t act like she had better places to be. She was frustrated that no one had talked to me about any of this already,) said that she was concerned that I may be at risk for a stroke, being overweight and on birth control for 3 years is a blood clot waiting to happen and with the facial numbness she was fearful that I could have one. I’m not even 25! Talk about a BIG wake up call. So now I am off every med that I am taking, including the birth control because I have to get a CT scan of my brain. I am so afraid right now. I have been working so hard and I keep wondering if I’m too late! Why didn’t I start sooner?
The biggest emotion I’m feeling is anger. I am so mad at myself for letting myself get to this point. How did I ever get this big?! I am literally killing myself. I am not allowed to exercise right now because I’m not allowed to get my heart rate up.
So what’s the point of this blog/forum post? Please, PLEASE use this as motivation. Don’t let yourself get to this point of being almost 50% body fat, it’s not worth it. No food is worth this. All I want to do at this point is put on my running shoes and go. I want to run until I am down within a normal BMI range and I can’t even do that yet. This is preventable!
I’m down 12 lbs which is great but far from where I need to be. I still plan to eat healthy and to work out as soon as I get a clean bill of health. Until then, I am praying for not only for my own health but for anyone else that is in a similar situation. Best wishes to all. Thanks for reading.
--Nikki

fastbelly

WOW that was a long read!
Although its never nice to receive negative news, I'm glad you've reached a point where you realized that nothing is as important as your life. And we can sacrifice so many things to have "the house", "the car", "the TV", etc and yet most of us don't make the "sacrifice" (if it is one) to teach our bodies to eat healthy and exercise regularly.

My story is somewhat similar to yours. Even though I had started my journet to health already, a few months ago I went to the doctor because of facial and tongue numbness (constant), the doctor told me it could be a blood clot or a acustic neuroma and I also had to do a bunch of exams including a CT scan. Fortunately it all came out fine and it turned out to be a really nasty ear infection that took almost 2 months and various courses of strong antibiotics to deal with. However that experience in itself made me realize how important my life was and how important my recent decision to get healthier was and it totally renovated my commitment to this journey.

Since starting I have lost 74 lbs so far and I'm determined to complete this journey and reach no matter what the world throws at me.

I hope everything works out for you and that this can just be a experience and as you said a wake up call for the changes that are already happening in the way you live!

Thanks for sharing that and all the best.

Contrarian

You can definitely do it.

brandimacleod

Please post again with an update after your brain scan. I will be praying for you. Obesity is SCARY! I think many of us middle agers here are seeing it firsthand with our own health, but your post is a great wake up for the younger set. Because when I was 25 I believed it would never happen to me too, and at 39 I ended up in the hospital within hours of dying, several surgeries, I was literally cut in half due to an infection in my abdomen and had to carry around a wound vac for months, while wondering every day if the infection would get me or not. All due to my weight. So here I am, losing it. Slow and steady. But thank you for the reminder to take our health seriously. I hope all turns out great and you can start running in no time!

Sezmo83

Fingers crossed here for you. I'm 28 years old and have high blood pressure and am borderline for diabetes. I've got to make an appointment to be tested again as at the moment simply losing weight and changing my diet could prevent me from becoming diabetic. My birth control has already been changed due to me being so fat. There have been times when simply walking for a few minutes has had me gasping for breath because I'm so unfit. I've also been told I'm at risk of a stroke. Especially as several of my family members have had one and my dads was caused by something that's hereditary. I refuse to have a scan as I really don't want to know whether there's a ticking time bomb in my head. If there is then deciding to have it fixed could leave me in just as bad a shape as having it go off could.

Please let us know how you get on. I don't know whether you're looking for more friends but feel free to add me if so.

dlaplume2

I hope thing work out for you. Thank you for sharing your story.


Best wishes