children and homework.

chanstriste13

i don't have kids of my own, but this is my third year nannying for two children (now aged 7 and 9) and i'm just curious about something. they changed schools this year, so they are in a new routine, but it is the third week of school now, so they've had some time to adjust. the boy (9) has been habitually forgetting homework things at school since the start. the girl (7) has been fine up until yesterday, when she left all of her homework at school.

their mom wants me to literally check their bags before we leave the school. which i suppose i will do, since i'm in her employ.

but if they were my kids, i would *totally* not do that for them - they are old enough to remember their own stuff and be responsible for it. i know it's a new school, but they are adjusting fine, have made plenty of friends and like their teachers, so it's not like they're at school crying all day.

i just really don't agree with this spoon-feeding mentality. at their old school, they didn't get grades on anything, and at their new school they do. i would let them see the effect their irresponsibility is having on their grades and let them see those consequences (these kids are motivated to do well in school, so that would probably work with them - when i was a kid, i could not have cared less about grades, so my parents had a bit of trouble with me!).

long story short - their mom is really cool, but this morning she sent me an email with the slight implication that it is my fault that they don't have their homework things on a regular basis, and i don't buy it.

thoughts?

shander7

I was a very forgetful child so my mom would always ask if I had my homework. I would say to make a reward system though, if they remember it, they can do it when they get home and then get to choose what they want to do/ what to play. If one forgets it, make your own "homework" for them to do for a 1/2 hour so they still have to do work. That's what I did for a little girl I nannied and she miraculously started remembering her homework!

Unfortunately moms can be over protective and baby their kids with things like that, so take it upon yourself to teach them that they need to remember their stuff! Good luck

Sweet_Pandora

I think that you are reading too much into this.

As their Nanny you are an important part of their life and teaching and guiding them.

I would suggest that when you pick them up at school you find a bench or in the hallway pull out a little check list and read off to them what they should have, lunch bag, homework, books whatever they will need for the evening and make it part of their daily routine.

At my daughters school each child is given an agenda at the beginning of the school year and homework and assignments are all written down in class and the parents have to sign it each day.

To me it sounds like everyone is still in the adjusting period and as children maybe they are just testing new boundaries.

Best of luck.

K

Sweet_Pandora

If one forgets it, make your own "homework" for them to do for a 1/2 hour so they still have to do work. That's what I did for a little girl I nannied and she miraculously started remembering her homework!

Love this idea!

K

ket_the_jet

I would say to make a reward system though

Why would you award the status quo? If you have homework, that's expected of you. You don't celebrate what is expected of you; you celebrate the unexpected.
-wtk

nerdyandilikeit

I was a very forgetful child so my mom would always ask if I had my homework. I would say to make a reward system though, if they remember it, they can do it when they get home and then get to choose what they want to do/ what to play. If one forgets it, make your own "homework" for them to do for a 1/2 hour so they still have to do work. That's what I did for a little girl I nannied and she miraculously started remembering her homework!

Unfortunately moms can be over protective and baby their kids with things like that, so take it upon yourself to teach them that they need to remember their stuff! Good luck

My mom made up stuff for my brother to do when he forgot his homework, too. Turns out he was bored out of his mind because the work he was given wasn't a challenge for him in some areas, and he was hoping 'forgetting' it would mean he wouldn't have to take the time to do it.

I agree that kids need to learn to be responsible as early as possible with the things that they need to do at each age, but I'm not sure what you can do if she's giving you your paycheck

chanstriste13

I would suggest that when you pick them up at school you find a bench or in the hallway pull out a little check list and read off to them what they should have, lunch bag, homework, books whatever they will need for the evening and make it part of their daily routine.

i could do this (and i suppose i'll have to), but i feel it's a disservice to them. they won't be learning responsiblity. they'll just be learning that i'm their safety net and have even less incentive to remember their things on their own.

shander7

I would say to make a reward system though

Why would you award the status quo? If you have homework, that's expected of you. You don't celebrate what is expected of you; you celebrate the unexpected.
-wtk

I guess reward system wouldn't be the right term to use, because you're right, it should be expected! I also don't want it to be seen as a punishment. Either way, the kids should do some sort of homework when they get home!

chanstriste13

Why would you award the status quo? If you have homework, that's expected of you. You don't celebrate what is expected of you; you celebrate the unexpected.
-wtk

dig this.

chanstriste13

I guess reward system wouldn't be the right term to use, because you're right, it should be expected! I also don't want it to be seen as a punishment. Either way, the kids should do some sort of homework when they get home!

and this also is a great idea and something i do - when they forget things, i assign them extra reading, make up my own math worksheets and have them straighten up their rooms instead of free time.

Panamama

I homeschool my kids who just happen to be ages 7 and 9. We have a reward type system at "school" because I want them to learn responsibility too. We've used sticker charts before that I've written their names and then the tasks that they are expected to do on the chart. They get a sticker for each task completed. Once they reach a certain number of stickers they are rewarded for obedience. Right now, I have a small jar for each child. Everyday they can earn up to 10 beans (that is what we're filling the jar with). Once the jar is completely full I allow 2 hours of video game time. However, unless we are doing a lot of traveling, they are not permitted to play any video games. It takes them up to 2 weeks to fill their jar. Also, as "payment" or reward for having a good school week, we buy ice cream from the ice cream man who comes through our neighborhood. We live in Santiago, Panama so this is quite the treat for the kids.

All that to say, awarding good behavior and responsibility is not a bad thing for children. It gives them perspective. As they grow they will realize you don't get something for nothing. If you don't do your homework, you don't get good grades. If you don't bring your assignments home, you don't get treats. Since you aren't the mom that makes this harder for you to teach, but I'm sure there are things the kids like to do with you that their mom doesn't do with them, so use that as an incentive to teach them responsibility.

Good Luck!

Enforcer25

We still ask if they have everything, but I don't check anymore. They are 8 and 10 and they are pretty good about remembering things. Sometimes they forget something and I will bring it when I pick them up. I just want them to understand they have to be responsible for remembering things and that there are consequences when you forget.

sykin

I don't know that I'd go through the kids' backpacks to check for homework, but when I picked them up, I'd definitely ask if they have homework - while still at school. it gives them a chance to go "oh! I forgot it" and run back in and get it. If they say "no" and they end up having homework, that's a whole separate issue and NOT your responsibility. As you said - you should be guiding them - not doing things for them.

kdouglas11

7 and 9 is not 'old enough' to do it themselves....

That's silly!

odusgolp

this absolutely intrigues me...

TDGee

My kids regularly "forget" things at school to try to get out of doing them. We check daily before leaving the school for any needed books or assignments. Saves a 6 mile trip later, or a need to have corrective action taken in the event of missed assignments. My expectation of my kids (8 & 12) is to always give maximum effort to all endeavors, especially school work, and to ask for help when needed. They do not have to be perfect, only to do their best. They are worth their best effort. They will try to get out of it though, they are kids. I am not here to be their friend, I am Dad, my main job is to adequately prepare them for life.

SamiSamiBoBlammy

I would say to make a reward system though

Why would you award the status quo? If you have homework, that's expected of you. You don't celebrate what is expected of you; you celebrate the unexpected.
-wtk

I guess reward system wouldn't be the right term to use, because you're right, it should be expected! I also don't want it to be seen as a punishment. Either way, the kids should do some sort of homework when they get home!

It wouldn't have to be a reward system per-say , but I can definitely see how it benefits the children to get some kind of recognition for doing what they are supposed to.

My kids are 8 and 11, and they both have chores and are responsible for schoolwork and keeping their rooms clean. The each get an allowance every week ($8 and $11)
Every night right before bedtime, I check their schoolwork, bedrooms and chores and if they aren't done properly - they lose $0.25-$1.00 from their allowance.
They've learned that if they are responsible and do what is expected - they get their full pay. Just like in the real world, with a real job.

Since they aren't your kids, I wouldn't offer allowance - but there has to be a point system you could implement. Maybe they earn points every day to cash in on *goodies, extra play/tv time, going to the park etc*

I think the main idea is not to put too much pressure on them for forgetting things, instead make it worthwhile to not forget.


**Edited to add, When I was a Girl Scout Leader - we had 'Brownie Bucks'. The kids would get 1 buck for bringing dues and 1 for showing up on time, others were awarded for extremely good behavior etc. The kids would write their name on their buck and put it in a jar. At the end of the month I would draw a winner from the jar and the winner would get to choose (with parent approval) something to do with me (or the other leader), such as - bringing lunch to them at school one day, or taking them skating, or bowling...

california_peach

Point plank you gotta do what your boss tells you to do. These aren't your kids and at certain point you will not have deal with any of the fall out from them being reminded to get their homework. When you have your own kids you can it your way, but until then you gotta just do what she tells you to do.

countrydarling1

Are you a live in nanny or afternoon babysitter type??

I have a 7 yr old daughter & a 11 yr old son, They are old enough to be responsible with their belongings, but u cant just expect it from them, it has to be taught. My kids know if they forget the first time its a verbal warning & they lose a priveledge. The next day if they do it they lose all priveledges. They do get rewards for their grade at the end of the 9 weeks.

chanstriste13

7 and 9 is not 'old enough' to do it themselves....

is too.

chanstriste13

it seems that most of the comments like-minded to myself are from men. maybe i'm a man in a woman's body! :laugh:

i understand that it is unreasonable to expect children to *never* forget anything, but they can be taught that they are expected to remember and be responsible for their schoolwork at the end of the day. and habitually forgetting things is no good and there will be consequences involved.

and i've been with these two for the last two school years - it's not like they just entered into school out of the blue - they know what they should be doing.

@countrydarling, i'm afternoon in the school year and full time in the summers.

anyhoo, i think i have my method down. approved by my kids and their mom, and one that i won't feel like i'm simultaneously enabling them and shooting myself in the foot. so we're all set.

but i like all these ideas - keep them coming!

kdouglas11

7 and 9 is not 'old enough' to do it themselves....

is too.

That's ridiculous... maybe at 9, they are more responsible... but what kind of 1st or 2nd grader is just going to think, oh yeah, I have homework, I should put it in my bag. The teacher should be helping children put their work in their bag.

And actually, yeah, my MSEd lets me know it's not DAP to expect a 7 year old or a 9 year old to remember those things... kids are impulsive creatures, they don't have the minds of an adult to plan out what they need... therefore they aren't... it's a parent's (or in this case nanny's responsibility with the aid of the teacher to help the child be successful.... we raise children...they don't just KNOW these things, they have to be taught to systematically thing in ways and they need to be reminded.

shelleilei

They need some type of binder that's only for homework. If the teacher gives them something for homework then they just slip it into the binder to take home. I believe they are both old enough to have the responsibility of taking home what they need to but I also feel that (for the 7 year old) the teacher needs to help somewhat in reminding them to bring home assignments.

chanstriste13

7 and 9 is not 'old enough' to do it themselves....

is too.

That's ridiculous... maybe at 9, they are more responsible... but what kind of 1st or 2nd grader is just going to think, oh yeah, I have homework, I should put it in my bag. The teacher should be helping children put their work in their bag.

And actually, yeah, my MSEd lets me know it's not DAP to expect a 7 year old or a 9 year old to remember those things... kids are impulsive creatures, they don't have the minds of an adult to plan out what they need... therefore they aren't... it's a parent's (or in this case nanny's responsibility with the aid of the teacher to help the child be successful.... we raise children...they don't just KNOW these things, they have to be taught to systematically thing in ways and they need to be reminded.

all of that's in place. they are getting reminders and guidance in the classroom as well as from their parents and myself. they are just being little slackers right now. they are certainly old enough to make sure those materials get out the door. as stated earlier, it's not like they just landed in a classroom for the first time ever. children are capable of much more than adults typically give them credit for. i just don't believe that enabling and coddling are ever developmentally appropriate practices.

chanstriste13

They need some type of binder that's only for homework. If the teacher gives them something for homework then they just slip it into the binder to take home.

that's exactly what the 7 year old has! they keep it on pouches on the backs of their chairs - i think it's a fairly common setup for lower grade levels.

anna_b1

I have a 12 year old who has been forgetting his homework since he was in Grade 1. I've tried the laid back approach, the punishing route, the grounding route and the forcing him to go back to get his work. Nothing has worked. He's forgetful. Just because he's 12 doesn't mean that I just have to just let him. I'm not willing to sacrifice his grades or his learning. But I don't go get it for him. I check his agenda where his teacher has had her students write down their homework and if it's not there he goes back to school and gets it and then has to spend whatever it takes finishing his work.

This is working for him so he'll continue to get grounded, go back and pick up his work and I'll continue to nag him about it.

And, to be honest, if your employer is asking you to do something to assist her children, it's your job to do it. If you have some sort of reservations about the morality or principle behind what you're behind asked to do, then maybe you're working with the wrong family.

crittytn

I have an almost 9-year old, a 7-year old and a 5-year old. You forget your stuff, I substitute with work I come up with. It is definitely not a free pass. And, yes, they are old enough to remember and be responsible for it. Forgetting once in a while is different than doing it every day.

In fact, I had the kids in school in SE Asia where nannies rule the school. The school was forever sending home information asking that families require the KIDS to be responsible for packing and unpacking their own school bags, helping pack their lunches, dressing themselves, doing chores, etc. and it started at kinder. There are plenty of age appropriate ways to teach responsibility and children love to feel responsible for their stuff when you allow them the chance!

chanstriste13

And, to be honest, if your employer is asking you to do something to assist her children, it's your job to do it.

obviously.

chanstriste13

I have an almost 9-year old, a 7-year old and a 5-year old. You forget your stuff, I substitute with work I come up with. It is definitely not a free pass. And, yes, they are old enough to remember and be responsible for it. Forgetting once in a while is different than doing it every day.

In fact, I had the kids in school in SE Asia where nannies rule the school. The school was forever sending home information asking that families require the KIDS to be responsible for packing and unpacking their own school bags, helping pack their lunches, dressing themselves, doing chores, etc. and it started at kinder. There are plenty of age appropriate ways to teach responsibility and children love to feel responsible for their stuff when you allow them the chance!

*dig* this!