How do you change your mind's eye?

glendeb

To see the new you? I have lost 23 kg so far, with about 27 to go. I have lost about 3 dress sizes, so I know I'm doing well.

My very awesome friends have given me some of their old jeans so I don't have to fork out money on clothes that hopefully wont fit for long, so in theory I'm the same size or slightly larger than they are/were.

However when I look in the mirror I can't see that I look like they do - and I love their bodies! While they are not necessarily super skinny, they have curves in all the right places, and look great.

How do you change what your mind sees and stop focussing on the spots that still need attention, and appreciate the good?

SallieBeige

:flowerforyou:
I don't know Glen.
I can only relate to this from the other direction - when I put on dozens of kilograms and didn't see it AT ALL until a saw a photo of myself.

At least your logic is telling you the truth.

Good luck, I hope you feel it soon.

bumflapassassin

are you standing up straight? That might help. you could also look at pictures of how you used to look and compare to now. look at yourself in the mirror and try to think of 5 or 10 things that you like about yourself - even if it's things that you prefer compared to your previous weight but still want to work on. it may be that you're just not happy because you're not at your goal yet. you're doing well though - good luck for the rest of your goal

KeriA

I think sometimes we let our mind lag behind our body and it should be the other way around. I lost 4 pounds one time and I wasn't ready to lose that much. I was focusing on losing a pound a week. Now I wish I could lose 4 pounds. So I think it is important to get our minds not only with the progress we make but ahead of it to be more successsful. So good job identifying an important issue. We need to dream, set the goal, plan to get there and when we do believe, in fact we should have already invisioned it so we say to ourselves when it happens ah yes. There we are. so you have a good point. I think our minds just don't always keep up in the visioning department. Let's all get ours on the ball.

glendeb

I can definately see the difference in photos. I actually have a neck now LOL!

I think when I look at myself naked I still see the rolls/lumps/bumps - despite the fact I've lost 12-16cms. I like your post Keri about setting the minds eye first

zeeeb

The only way I can see it, is to compare what i looked like 9 months ago, to what i look like now.

to compare my energy levels

to compare my motivation levels

to compare my positivity

to compare my overall health

and to compare my old clothes with my new clothes

to realise that i can actually go into a shop and steer clear of the big ladies section

and to realise that i don't look totally crap in everything

and to appreciate that I am normal now (sure i'm still a bit chubby, but still i don't feel like people stare at me going , ewwww, as they walk past, which they may or may not have done, but that's how I felt. I know walk with my head held high and not humiliated trying to sink into the ground).

adross3

Start by loving yourself. You are great and you will succeed.

If you want to get all psychological then lets go there.

Take a piece of paper. On it draw a circle. In the middle draw another smaller circle. On the outside circle draw 3 circles. Try to space them out evenly. Picture a ferris wheel. In the middle circle write who you think you are right now. Be honest. Don't make things up. This is about picking your subconscious mind. It is your subconscious mind that gives your your daily answers thru your conscious. It controls every step that your take in life.

Example. Use your cell phone. What is the first thought that comes to you mind. That is the dominant thought that is given to your conscious and you act upon it. Now, what else is it. Describe it. The more you describe the cell phone, you draw from your subconscious the lesser and lesser idea, emotion, concept or perseption about the cell phone. The first thought that you have is most likely the dominant thought and the controlling thought. I say most likely because sometime instinct come to play. That's a whole other can of worms. So do you get this. The dominant thought controls, and the lesser thought is there to play second and so on. These are there for random variables.

Now, take your drawing and in the middle put your problem. In the outer circles put what you think about your problem, idea or goal. Draw as many circles that you need in the outer cirlcle. After you have done that. Put a posative or negative sign next to or in what ever works for you. After you are done look at the pos and neg of the subconscious psych map.

The posatives are your strengths and the negatives are your weaknesses. You want to strengthen your weeknesses. If the chart is full of negatives you will have to make a chart for every negative that you have. The "Complex" of ideas can only change if you view each negative in each of your circles. Yes it may take many pieces of paper. But, you will understand the root of the problem. Knowing were to begin is the start of change.

Take the singled out negative map an look at your negative word. What is the opposite of that negative word or what would you like to replace that with. Once you have replaced it with the word you want, embelesh on that. visualize the change. Feel the change. Take your time. Your negative dominant thought will want to come out. Know and remember this. Your negative thought has been comming out for so long that it has become dominant. The lesser thoughts are rarely thought of. That is why they don't come up as often, if at all.

Imagine that you can change your perspective on life in an instant. If you smoked and you had a heart attack, your mindset is almost clarified to the perspective of quitting. It's the dominant thought that will come back with the help of addiction. But, the heart attack put quitting smoking as a dominant thought and only after time does the new dominant thought become the lesser.

This is the memory resination process.

Invest in your future, invest in youself.

Any Questions?

adross3

I am a bit shocked that no one has responded to my process. Maybe too difficult or too much work. I have helped 100's if not 1000's of people look at their life and change it. Go figure.

glendeb

Thank you adross, I will give that a go today (I'm in NZ, so have been asleep!)

NH_1970

One thing that can help be a physical representation is sticking a large sheet of paper on the wall and outlining your current body size, or having someone you know do that, all the way around starting at the feet going around the outside of the body, tracing your shape, in between legs, arms out tracing those etc.

Then putting a date on it, Then after losing a certain amount maybe 30 lbs or whatever you choose, putting it up on the wall again and having them re-trace.

Taking pictures of you full bodied, making sure you note the date on it, that helped me showing different progress points.

Taking measurements of the body.

Crystal_Rudolph

Someone told me that our brains are six months behind our bodies. So it takes us 6 months to see what we have accomplished at all. I know how you feel though. Look at it this way...our bodies are going to be smoking by the time our brain catches up! )

NH_1970

To appreciate the good, I make a gratitude journal. I'm grateful for x
Like today I am grateful for my job
I am grateful for my health
I am grateful for my glowing skin
I am grateful for my luxurious hair
I am grateful for my shrinking waist
I am grateful for my improved sense of well being
I am grateful for my efforts paying off
I am grateful for my family
I am grateful for the turds in life they remind me I am not one and make me even more grateful for my fellow human beings who are also not turds.
etc.

porffor

Great thread,

Adross - I will have a go at this tomorrow (it's late in the UK now) looks interesting thanks, I posted a similar thought in my blog today about body image and self confidence.

jennor8or

i think it also depends on you... have you changed? has your idea of "healthy" changed? have you decided that having a body like your friends is not necessarily your goal? maybe you have fitness goals? maybe you have health goals? maybe you have size goals for yourself? maybe this has become more about how you see you than how you compare yourself to others... i know thats how it was for me- compared to my friends and family i look great- to me, i want to be able to run 5ks and actually compete in them, i dont want an indention from the top of my jeans, i want to be able to pick out anything and wear it cuz it looks good and not to have to shop "to excentuate my body style" (ie: hide my love handles/muffin top)... i dont wanna be a size 2, but i wanna be the BEST ME i can be! ...maybe thats what you're looking for, the best you

adross3

One thing that can help be a physical representation is sticking a large sheet of paper on the wall and outlining your current body size, or having someone you know do that, all the way around starting at the feet going around the outside of the body, tracing your shape, in between legs, arms out tracing those etc.

Then putting a date on it, Then after losing a certain amount maybe 30 lbs or whatever you choose, putting it up on the wall again and having them re-trace.

Taking pictures of you full bodied, making sure you note the date on it, that helped me showing different progress points.

Taking measurements of the body.

Nice Visual

adross3

To appreciate the good, I make a gratitude journal. I'm grateful for x
Like today I am grateful for my job
I am grateful for my health
I am grateful for my glowing skin
I am grateful for my luxurious hair
I am grateful for my shrinking waist
I am grateful for my improved sense of well being
I am grateful for my efforts paying off
I am grateful for my family
I am grateful for the turds in life they remind me I am not one and make me even more grateful for my fellow human beings who are also not turds.
etc.

This is a bombardment affermation. It works great for creating a dominant thought process. Think of a commercial that you see on TV over and over. TV comercials are very smart these days. They invoke emotions while slamming you with their name or product. I would leave the "turd" thing out. It has a negative overtone. Instead try I forgive. It puts you in power over their actions.

HMonsterX

I was similar to you. I couldnt really see any difference, as my mind is one of those that refuses to acknowledge good things are happening. All my clothes are elasticated, so that didnt help. Measurements, id just think i was sucking my stomach in more than when i first measured, etc.

Then i found my old work trousers, and i vividly remember them really cutting into my belly, especially on Mondays. They are the only "fixed" waist thing i have. I put them on...and they fell straight down. There was a clear 8-10 inches of room now, when they used to cut into me. That was a real eye opener for me!

adross3

b

adross3

Bump

alltalk199

First off, congratulations on the weight loss. Everyone is different, each to their own. For me, my journey starts with the lifestyle changes and choices that I make, it allows me to see the change in myself by the way I feel inside, mind, body and spirit, I then accept the changes in front of me and believe their is more to achieve. (It's about acceptance, it's about you, you are worthy). You can do it!

mamasyd

This has been something that I have been dealing with on an ongoing basis. I think it is also important to have a trusted loved one (maybe more than one) who is willing to be very honest with you. My mind is definitely lagging behind my progress, just as it did on the way up in my weight. It took a while before I realized how large I truly was and I'm still not grasping how much smaller I am. The plus of having loved ones who will help is that they can see a truer picture.

From the beginning, my goal has been to reach a normal BMI. For me that will happen at 147.7 pounds. That's just an awkward number, so I set my goal at 145! LOL I am very close to that now, at 151. I see my naked body and all the imperfections that are still there. My mind is struggling to wrap around the transition from a size 34W to a size 6. It would be frighteningly easy for me to slip into an unhealthy slide and continue to lose weight.

I have given my husband and three dear friends permission to tell me when to stop, after I reach 147.7. That number for me is non-negotiable. I want to be normal. After that, it will be up to their discretion. That way, I won't keep going into an unhealthy range while I am waiting for my mind to catch up.

In the meantime, while you are still in process, pictures are awesome! They help much more than the mirror does. Try finding a before picture and taking one now in the same pose or in the same place. That has helped me enormously. Then you are comparing 'apples to apples' and it makes more sense to your mind.

Hope this helps - and keep going on your journey!!