My Ah Ha Moment....

Skaren

Yesterday, thanks to my friend Danielle, I had a huge revelation.

I reached my goal weight in June. The first couple of weeks of maintenance were business as usual and then I got lazy...and still feel kinda Lazy.

Nine years ago I had a burnout and a major depression. When I started to get functional again, I had to think every morning when I got up about how I was going to manage my depression and anxiety to get me through the day. Did I remember my meds? When is my next doc's appointment? Have I gotten enough rest? Is my schedule over booked?

It took me 4 years until I didn't have to think about it every waking minute of the day. During that time I often wanted a vacation. A vacation form being sick, a vacation from managing a chronic condition, a vacation from taking care of myself.

I think I am at the same point with weight loss. I get tired sometimes of having calories in and calories out at the for-front of my mind all day. I get tired of taking out my phone and logging all my calories. I get tired of thinking before I eat. I get tired of disciplining myself to not eat a dozen timbits at the drive through and chase it with a blizzard.

So maybe my depression journey has taught me a valuable lesson. It will take time, maybe a long time, maybe even 4 years perhaps, before I will be able to not think about weight loss and maintenance on a full time basis. At one point, and I trust life that the time will come, it will be natural for me to balance my eating and my exercise. At one point the cravings will be few and far between. At one point I will not get on the scales every wed morning, stark naked, after a bathroom break, after breastfeeding and before breakfast and look down at the number with anticipation.

So? When I was sick the thing I hated most was when people told me that everything happens for a reason. Hey, they were right! Good comes out of every life situation we experience. My depression taught me to be patient. It taught me that even if the light at the end of the tunnel is far and dim, or even if you can't see it right this minute, you will get there and everything will be OK, whether is is for depression or weight loss or any other challenge life throws our way.

It makes me wonder what my weight loss journey will teach me?

tarapickens

So true, and good for everyone to hear! Thanks for sharing!

nitka653

Thank you for posting that life story! How true that is, and I often feel the same way... I will keep your story in mind when I start feeling that way!

slingbladefan

thank u for posting this

teawithtennyson

I love that you are looking for the lesson! We talk about teachable moments with kids all the time, but till we are dead, we never stop being learners. Your advice to yourself, gleaned from your depression experience, was a good reminder to me about the effort it really takes to form new habits...new ways of life. Thanks!

I also have to keep firmly planted in my brain that it can take a relatively short amount of time to undo what it took me years to do. So whether it is with my weight...or my past struggle with depression ...I watch for signs that I am "forgetting" or "slipping" from my new reality and adjust myself as quickly as possible. Kind of like that old "stitch in time saves 9" proverb my mother used to tell me.

Happy Habit Changing - God bless
teawithtennyson