having one of those lowest of the low moments

MadeOfMagic

I've recently started working out and dieting very hard because of super low self-esteem issues...last week we got new neighbors two guys and a hot russian chick. They have been in and out of pool day and night every day, the russian girls always in their bikinis with their accents (I'm myself russian and that's what i considered special about even though I am overweight, now I got nothing). Yesterday we got invited to their house warming party which is happening today (right now actually...), I have been dreading going to it more than ever...

I have been stressing about it all last night and all day today because I am going to be outnumbered, and the only fat girl at the whole party, top it off I am going with my boyfriend and quite frankly I wish I didn't have too because I already feel like crap and ugly and fat, and my boyfriend is going to be surrounded by very attractive horny single women...my bf has good body and really cute and though I know he loves me to death, I can't face even the idea of going to that party, jumping off the roof sounds better.

Its been a pool party all day and I literally live in front of the pool, and could hear them all day long enjoying the party, I didn't want to go because I didn't want to embarrased wearing a bathing suit. Now it's night time and I am trying to brave up to go because I don't want to keep my boyfriend locked up in this apartment and be a crappy neighbor, just not sure I am ready to face this humiliation and feeling the way I do, I have 0 confidence and worst self esteem at the moment, I wish I felt different, it's the last place on earth I want to go to. God give me the strength to face what's coming next for I have no choice... and I feel pathetic for feeling this way and keeping myself for social opportunities

Izable2011

I know how you feel. I've done this myself unfortunately. Keep your head up and try and avoid caring what others think. You don't have to stay long and you don't even have to go swimming if you don't want to. Good luck & I think you will have fun.

rerecat

Hang in there!! Don't let yourself be intimidated by others. Remember you rock no matter what other do or how they look..

kiwinermal

Hang in there and keep working hard. Here's a quote that I have always loved...

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting…
Until your car or home is paid off…
Until you get a new car or home…
Until your kids leave the house…
Until you go back to school…
Until you finish school…
Until you lose 10 lbs…
Until you gain 10 lbs…
Until you get married…
Until you get a divorce…
Until you have kids…
Until you retire…
Until summer…
Until spring…
Until winter…
Until fall…
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching.

sharonus

Consider how far you've come! You've already lost more than 10% of the weight you're trying to lose. And consider how great you'll look at the Christmas pool party if you keep it up!

Frankly, I'd ask my boyfriend if he wants to go to the party. Maybe he doesn't want to go either.

nrvo

Maybe you could go out, but just don't wear a bathing suit if you're not comfortable in one? I'm the girl who has worn jeans to the beach because I was too embarrassed to wear a bathing suit. Do you have a maxi dress, or anything else you would be comfortable wearing? Maxi dresses are my fav; they hide my cankles.

If you put on a smile and go over with a good attitude, you will have fun. Your neighbors are making the effort to reach out to you and make friends; it's worth giving them a chance. And remember, those girls can drool over your man all they want, but you're the one he's going home with at the end of the night!

Soccer_chick916

Hey, I know that situation is really hard. But you have to learn to love you, the person you are. You can hate your body all you want, but you have to like yourself. I am sure if you really took the time to search in you heart you can come up with three things that you love about your self. Being Russian, and being overweight don't make you who you are sweetie. By posting this I can tell you are a very sweet person, who does love herself, if you didn't you wouldn't be here on MFP reaching out to us.

I know kind of what its like to be in your shoes. I have been overweight most of my life, I had a rough childhood, which killed my self esteem, I thought there was nothing good about me. And to top it off I was married right out of high school and my husband cheated on me and left me for another girl. After that I had to search in my heart and find who I was, what I love to do, what makes me who I am, and most importantly what I love about myself.

Since then I have turned my life around. I may not like the body I have right now but I accept myself. That's why I joined MFP, so I can have the body I have always wanted. Also so I can be skinny like my new boyfriend is.

I hope my comment has bothered you at all. I promise everything I have said has been for good intentions because I think it may help you. If you don't hate what I have said feel free to friend me because we are of similar weight and have similar goals. I can help with moral support and motivation.

Good luck to you on your goals

fine4now

First of all give yourself a big hug and tell yourself " I love myself for who I am and who I want to become". And mean it when you say it. Honey it doesnt matter what size you are, you are human and you deserve to love, have fun, laugh, cry, all the things a skinny person does. You have to relize you are not some monster that your mind has made you up to be. Go and have fun, try not to let the negative feelings keep prisoner in your own house. Because let me tell you your new friends will not even care what size you are. They are just looking for some one to have fun with. Who knows you may find a friend that can help support you in you quest to lose weight. I am here if you need to talk.

Soccer_chick916

Hang in there and keep working hard. Here's a quote that I have always loved...

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting…
Until your car or home is paid off…
Until you get a new car or home…
Until your kids leave the house…
Until you go back to school…
Until you finish school…
Until you lose 10 lbs…
Until you gain 10 lbs…
Until you get married…
Until you get a divorce…
Until you have kids…
Until you retire…
Until summer…
Until spring…
Until winter…
Until fall…
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching.

You are so great! "happiness really is a journey" !!! thank you.

darlilama

How I wish I could take all those feelings away from you! They really can be a "self fulfilling prophecy". If you don't like yourself, others will most likely sense that. Not that they'll know why, but they'll know you are uncomfortable, which means they may be uncomfortable around you. Be yourself… who you are in your heart and mind. If you love yourself, it is easy for others to see that and love you as well… because of who you are. If they don't, then you don't need to spend any more of your time and energy worrying about them or what they think. And, if you don't feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit, well then don't! Just put on something cute that you (and your boyfriend) likes and go wow 'em with the wonderful person you are!!

Let us know how it goes! :drinker:

momcindy

Hang in there and keep working hard. Here's a quote that I have always loved...

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting…
Until your car or home is paid off…
Until you get a new car or home…
Until your kids leave the house…
Until you go back to school…
Until you finish school…
Until you lose 10 lbs…
Until you gain 10 lbs…
Until you get married…
Until you get a divorce…
Until you have kids…
Until you retire…
Until summer…
Until spring…
Until winter…
Until fall…
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching.

I was trying to thiink of what to say to the original poster then I read this. Pretty much sums it up.

MadeOfMagic

I finally got up the guts to do go, went and brought over a pack of beer, and was quite pleasantly surprised. All the people were so nice and no dressed all slutty, I went to fashion school, so last 4 years that's all I been surrounded with, but these people were different and normal and more like me, so glad I went. They loved me, I loved them and now I just have a ton of new awesome friends and neighbors.
I can't believe how low I got on myself prior to going, but than quickly changed when i got along so well with everyone, I am not going let those sort of thoughts/feelings keep me from amazing opportunities and my happiness.
Thank you all for beings so understanding and supportive! It's so nice to have people who can understand what you're feeling.

isabelk

Duh, just saw that you posted. I was going to say don't go if it will make you feel bad. I'm glad you did go cuz it sounds like you made some friends. you taught me a lesson here!

timeforme23

Hang in there and keep working hard. Here's a quote that I have always loved...

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.

We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?

Your life will always be filled with challenges. It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. Happiness is the way.

So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with ... and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting…
Until your car or home is paid off…
Until you get a new car or home…
Until your kids leave the house…
Until you go back to school…
Until you finish school…
Until you lose 10 lbs…
Until you gain 10 lbs…
Until you get married…
Until you get a divorce…
Until you have kids…
Until you retire…
Until summer…
Until spring…
Until winter…
Until fall…
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy. Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

So work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one's watching.

Thank you, I love this!