I am a big girl. I can take it.

k2d4p

I am in a mood today. I very rarely vent openly. This has been building up in me for a while now. I put a concentrated effort into being considerate of the struggles of losing weight, but I am going to snap right now and then go back to normal. Click and read at your own risk:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/k2d4p/view/i-am-so-sick-and-tired-of-hearing-excuses-144786#comments

ladybg81

AMEN honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And when you leave this "real" comments on people's post, they attack you and send private messages asking how you could be so mean, etc. Get over it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love it! Thanks!

mytime60

bump

k2d4p

AMEN honey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And when you leave this "real" comments on people's post, they attack you and send private messages asking how you could be so mean, etc. Get over it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love it! Thanks!

Thank you. I am waiting for someone to tell me I am mean or I don't understand. UGGHHH! :explode: I am starting to come down from my frustration though. I think putting it out there helps a little.

VRoseDuda

Contrary to what you may expect, I completely agree with you. I have a really hard time losing (always have) but I have to accept that. I do 300 min of cardio per week, blah blah blah but I know if I differ from MY plan, BOOM, I could be up 2 lbs in a week if not careful. When I gain, sure, I am pissed...but, if I look back I know how it happened. People need to accept that they control what they eat and how much they move. If they choose to go through life with blinders on...let them.
I am no expert...just realistic. Thanks for sharing.

mamashatzie

I completely agree with you.

One day, nearly a month ago, I had an important realization. My laziness and excuses were the *only* things holding me back from being a healthy weight. I was making excuses to keep myself fat. Now I'm done making excuses and I've lost 4lb so far. Not a huge amount, but it's progress in the right direction.

wutamunkee

LOL! I love this... I came fully armed to e-slap some skinny chick who was saying they were fat... but I LOVE YOUR POST!!

I had a frustration rant today about the opposite... my excuses... and they are pissing me off... Im trying hard and Im going to keep doing it until it freaking works... I know it does, I have personally done it before...

Just because I am mad about medical problems at the moment it doesnt stop me from eating better and moving my jiggly butt!

Eventually the number will move...

laneybird

Agreed!! That was the first thing I made a conscience effort to stop...making excuses. I have a co-worker who does that constantly and even makes fun that I call this my "healthy lifestyle" and not a diet. Kudos to you... you're not being mean or rude at all, you're just telling the truth!

Btw, congrats on your weight loss!!

wutamunkee

I completely agree with you.

One day, nearly a month ago, I had an important realization. My laziness and excuses were the *only* things holding me back from being a healthy weight. I was making excuses to keep myself fat. Now I'm done making excuses and I've lost 4lb so far. Not a huge amount, but it's progress in the right direction.

I am 5'7 as well and I was pretty skinny (see my ticker) at 150/160... just thought I would share.

k2d4p

I completely agree with you.

One day, nearly a month ago, I had an important realization. My laziness and excuses were the *only* things holding me back from being a healthy weight. I was making excuses to keep myself fat. Now I'm done making excuses and I've lost 4lb so far. Not a huge amount, but it's progress in the right direction.

I could not have lost 100 if I didn't pass 4 along the way. 4 might not sound like much, but it is. Like my husband told me many times along the way, losing 1 pound today makes you 1 pound closer to what you want.

DropsOJupiter

Given that I am in your club of having lost 100+ pounds, I know that everything you've said is true. I get the same questions and the expectation is that I discovered a magic wand or the food fairy left all non-caloric desserts, pizza, etc. at my house. We all want easy. The fact is, it isn't. It never will be. And until we internalize that as fact, we won't do what needs doing to lose the weight. I know...I searched for that darn wand for a very long time. I don't get angry because they are doing exactly what I did for years and the frustration is for not being able to get them to see that there really isn't a wand...only their ability to control their intake without regard to the obstacles.

Thanks for posting and I hope that you've obliterated some folks thoughts about finding that non-existent wand.

Sveta34

I 100% agree with you. However, part of me feels that as we overweight people start the process and stop the excuses we also become "preachers"..."you can do it", "stop making excuses", etc...and since we know how hard it is to start the process, continue with the process and stop the excuses we should also understand that each person has to figure it out on their own and if and when they want to, they will. I catch myself doing it too. I started working out with a trainer and eating better, now I keep preaching to my other friends and find myself thinking...wait...it's their choice, they know the answer, they need to make the decision, so shut it and be there for them if they ask for help or advice. So who are you, I or all of us to judge someone else, especially if we were in their shoes at one point and maybe (hopefully never) be there again one day. If you hearing excuses bothers you then don't preach to those that will make them. In my opinion...

mamashatzie

Also, I wanted to say that your success story on your blog is one of the most inspirational things I have ever read. I read it the first day I joined MFP, and it's been in my mind ever since. You are fantastic. Thank you for sharing that.

mccgivens

OMG...You are an inspiration to me! Can I add you???

k2d4p

Given that I am in your club of having lost 100+ pounds, I know that everything you've said is true. I get the same questions and the expectation is that I discovered a magic wand or the food fairy left all non-caloric desserts, pizza, etc. at my house. We all want easy. The fact is, it isn't. It never will be. And until we internalize that as fact, we won't do what needs doing to lose the weight. I know...I searched for that darn wand for a very long time. I don't get angry because they are doing exactly what I did for years and the frustration is for not being able to get them to see that there really isn't a wand...only their ability to control their intake without regard to the obstacles.

Thanks for posting and I hope that you've obliterated some folks thoughts about finding that non-existent wand.

Congrats on 145lbs! That is amazing! (and I'm sure took a lot of very hard work:happy: ) Wish someone told me there was a wand. It would have made my life easier.

k2d4p

OMG...You are an inspiration to me! Can I add you???

Sure, if ya like :happy:

mamashatzie

I completely agree with you.

One day, nearly a month ago, I had an important realization. My laziness and excuses were the *only* things holding me back from being a healthy weight. I was making excuses to keep myself fat. Now I'm done making excuses and I've lost 4lb so far. Not a huge amount, but it's progress in the right direction.

I am 5'7 as well and I was pretty skinny (see my ticker) at 150/160... just thought I would share.

Thanks! I've actually never been remotely thin, ever since I was a small child. At one point in high school I weighed 165-170lb and I still had a great deal of fat on my body. So I have no idea what weight will actually work for me

k2d4p

I 100% agree with you. However, part of me feels that as we overweight people start the process and stop the excuses we also become "preachers"..."you can do it", "stop making excuses", etc...and since we know how hard it is to start the process, continue with the process and stop the excuses we should also understand that each person has to figure it out on their own and if and when they want to, they will. I catch myself doing it too. I started working out with a trainer and eating better, now I keep preaching to my other friends and find myself thinking...wait...it's their choice, they know the answer, they need to make the decision, so shut it and be there for them if they ask for help or advice. So who are you, I or all of us to judge someone else, especially if we were in their shoes at one point and maybe (hopefully never) be there again one day. If you hearing excuses bothers you then don't preach to those that will make them. In my opinion...

I understand and point very well taken. That is why I make a point to not talk about weight loss to anyone unless I am asked first. As i said in my blog, I was on the other side as well. I just get really frustrated when I literally get stopped by someone and asked about my weight loss and then they feel they need to tell me why they stay overweight. I understand it is a huge struggle. I have been there for YEARS. I guess my feeling is, if you don't want to hear it is hard work, don't ask. I can't stand when people get preachy, but I also don't want to hear why you (general you) "can't" lose weight.

kikiloo

I am so happy to hear another person say they will not "cheat" or use terms for it. If you want a brownie, you eat the real thing. I know what my calories will be each day, if I decide I gotta have a piece of pizza that day. I know I will hit the TurboFire, treadmill, Zumba 10x as hard because that's how simple it is. Depriving myself to lose the weight will never make for a life long change. You an inspiration and I look forward to the day I hit 100lb lost

k2d4p

Also, I wanted to say that your success story on your blog is one of the most inspirational things I have ever read. I read it the first day I joined MFP, and it's been in my mind ever since. You are fantastic. Thank you for sharing that.

Thank you very much!

k2d4p

I am so happy to hear another person say they will not "cheat" or use terms for it. If you want a brownie, you eat the real thing. I know what my calories will be each day, if I decide I gotta have a piece of pizza that day. I know I will hit the TurboFire, treadmill, Zumba 10x as hard because that's how simple it is. Depriving myself to lose the weight will never make for a life long change. You an inspiration and I look forward to the day I hit 100lb lost

I truly, honestly believe that I would not have lost the weight if I deprived myself of anything. And by deprived I mean: go without, eat a "substitute", or anything like that. I simply got smart and realized it much more about HOW MUCH I eat, more than what I eat. Having said that I have come to really like a lot of healthy foods.

michedarnd

*chuckle* It's funny how some people GAIN sympathy, and some people LOSE sympathy when they succeed. I used to think that I couldn't lose my weight, either. I didn't have excuses like, "I can't cook," though. It had more to do with the fact that I had spent years trying. I once took two solid years of an 1100 calorie diet to lose 30 pounds. At the time, I was working out 4 hours a day, six days a week. I got sick several times during that time frame, and even then, the only way that I lost ANY weight was when I supplemented with MaHuang, which has since been banned from the market (I also stopped using it once it got to the point that I got chest pains and shortness of breath whenever I did so). Since that debacle, I have developed thyroid issues, gone menopausal, and become borderline insulin resistant. Needless to say, I honestly BELIEVED that I COULDN'T lose the weight. I've learned, of course, that the grotesque over-doing was my real problem, but I have tried a bunch of things before coming here. Some things made me dysfunctionally tired. Some of them made me sick (Atkins, anyone?). I am only in my third week, here, so I can't say, for certain, that my body won't fight me, here, either, but, for now, I'm losing. Because of all that, and because I understand the despair and inertia that comes to someone who has failed many times for many years, I am more inclined to tell people what I did that was so wrong and share my knowledge. But, I don't get frustrated with people. "Not having time," for instance, is a legitimate excuse, when you talk to parents of young children. "I just got a hip replacement" is a legitimate excuse for someone who is retired. The journey, and particularly, keeping it going, long-term, when the effectiveness of just maintaining a deficit tends to decrease, is a significant commitment, and there are people who simply can't commit to more than they already have. I'm not saying that you are wrong. You're not. A LOT of people make VERY lame excuses. It's just that, well, being older, in a less-than-fully-functional body, a single parent (of young children), and in a job/field that tends to have 60+ - hour work weeks, I have a deep understanding of how big a mountain adding "weight loss" can be. I've managed to get started, but I am juggling a lot to manage the obstacles. I'm a big cheerleader for people who, like you, have overcome it all and surmounted it.

k2d4p

*chuckle* It's funny how some people GAIN sympathy, and some people LOSE sympathy when they succeed. I used to think that I couldn't lose my weight, either. I didn't have excuses like, "I can't cook," though. It had more to do with the fact that I had spent years trying. I once took two solid years of an 1100 calorie diet to lose 30 pounds. At the time, I was working out 4 hours a day, six days a week. I got sick several times during that time frame, and even then, the only way that I lost ANY weight was when I supplemented with MaHuang, which has since been banned from the market (I also stopped using it once it got to the point that I got chest pains and shortness of breath whenever I did so). Since that debacle, I have developed thyroid issues, gone menopausal, and become borderline insulin resistant. Needless to say, I honestly BELIEVED that I COULDN'T lose the weight. I've learned, of course, that the grotesque over-doing was my real problem, but I have tried a bunch of things before coming here. Some things made me dysfunctionally tired. Some of them made me sick (Atkins, anyone?). I am only in my third week, here, so I can't say, for certain, that my body won't fight me, here, either, but, for now, I'm losing. Because of all that, and because I understand the despair and inertia that comes to someone who has failed many times for many years, I am more inclined to tell people what I did that was so wrong and share my knowledge. But, I don't get frustrated with people. "Not having time," for instance, is a legitimate excuse, when you talk to parents of young children. "I just got a hip replacement" is a legitimate excuse for someone who is retired. The journey, and particularly, keeping it going, long-term, when the effectiveness of just maintaining a deficit tends to decrease, is a significant commitment, and there are people who simply can't commit to more than they already have. I'm not saying that you are wrong. You're not. A LOT of people make VERY lame excuses. It's just that, well, being older, in a less-than-fully-functional body, a single parent (of young children), and in a job/field that tends to have 60+ - hour work weeks, I have a deep understanding of how big a mountain adding "weight loss" can be. I've managed to get started, but I am juggling a lot to manage the obstacles. I'm a big cheerleader for people who, like you, have overcome it all and surmounted it.

First, Congratulations on you effort to continue to lose weight dispite your personal obstacles. You are clearly a very strong person!

Second, I agree with a lot of what you said. There is always an exception to most rules. Some people have legitimate reasons for struggling harder to lose weight than others do. I would definitely consider a hip replacement a REASON, not an excuse.

Third, I was mostly referencing people in my own personal world of work, home, play life. People I pretty much know could take control if they really wanted to. Or people who tell me how they need to lose weight and I see personally that they eat over 2000 calories for lunch alone.

Fourth, Honestly, I believe I have gained sympathy for those who are actually putting an effort and trying to lose weight and for what ever reason are losing slowly or are struggling for some reason. I just struggle to have sympathy for people who are clearly capable and vocalize that they want to lose weight, but make no effort at all.

michedarnd

Heh. Well, I totally agree with that. When a certain family member of mine, who tends to eat around 800 calories a day complains about her weight, I try to help her figure out how to overcome it, starting with telling her to eat MORE. However, when another member of my family, who doesn't work, ignores me when I make useful suggestions and complains about "overreactions" and "depression" as being the only reasons, it does get somewhat head-banging, and when I see someone eating a triple-bacon-cheese-burger and complaining about their weight. Well, sympathy? I think not. So, I certainly see both sides of the coin, too.